First Surrender (Chance Encounters #3)

Chapter Forty

Natalie

H e wants a baby with me. Not because we made a mistake and are making the best of it, but on purpose with full intent, he wants my baby.

It’s all I’ve been able to think about all morning.

After our incredible re-sexification, we got in the bath and now we’re in the kitchen eating lunch and I’m still tongue-tied about the whole baby thing.

“I ordered these back when I ordered Dec’s birthday presents,” Jackson says from the hallway, holding two small boxes. “I hoped if I had them, then you’d reconsider your decision.”

I grab the box that he offers me, inspecting it carefully. It’s a DNA kit.

“I don’t know, Jackson. What if there are more kids out there like Dec? What if my biological father left his mark on the world and I can’t do anything to fix it.”

“If he did, and you have siblings out there, then it’s not your job to save them.”

I look at him dumbly, but he holds up his hands to stop my comment before I can make it.

“I know you would want to help them, but I’m saying that it’s not your fault. You didn’t deserve to be abandoned just as much as they don’t. Anyone you find, if they’re out there, we’ll help. If you choose to connect with them then I’ll be here every step of the way.”

Every step of the way. He’s not backing out, he’s not running from the challenge of whatever my insane life might bring. He’s standing his ground.

“Okay,” I respond, quietly.

“Just think about it. You don’t have to do it right now.”

“I said okay. As long as you do it with me.”

He looks stunned as if he wasn’t sure he heard me correctly. “Okay? Just like that?”

“Yeah.” I smile softly at him and he slinks closer to me, brushing the loose hair behind my ear. His deep honey eyes assess me affectionately, making my heart thump harder as he holds my cheek in his hand. He opens his mouth to say something but my phone rings, making me jump.

“It’s Dec’s school,” I tell him as I answer. He watches closely as I listen to the other end of the line.

“No, I’ll be right there. Don’t let him out of your sight.” I end the call and run to my room to get shoes with Jackson’s hot on my heels. “He’s there. Declan’s at the school.”

“What? Why the hell didn’t anyone call me?” He disappears into his room for a moment and then we’re both running to the door.

“I don’t know, they said they called the police. He was trying to get his attention through the fence at recess but the aid made Dec go back into the building. I need to go get him.”

Jackson’s already grabbed his keys and I don’t miss that he grabbed his badge and gun as well.

He ushers me into Suburban gently, but I can feel the tension radiating off him. He’s pissed. As soon as we’re on the road he’s calling people, one after another, barking into the phone and trying to get answers. No one knows why the call from the school didn’t get passed along to him. Until the last one.

It seems to give him the answer he was seeking but he doesn’t say anything after hanging up. His jaw is locked so tight that I’m worried he’ll crack a molar. When we finally pull up in front of the school he’s screeching to a halt on the curb and jumping out before I can get my seat belt off.

“Uh, should you park here?” I point to the no parking signs so he knows what I mean as he holds my door open.

“Those don’t apply to me.” He taps the roof of his cruiser with his palm.

“Oh, right.” Duh. Emergency vehicle. I’ve somehow forgotten the perks of Jackson’s job. He’s gotten my defenses down so easily, I don’t see him as a blue-bleeding anti-hero anymore.

“When they called 911, it went to Lawson PD. The responding officer didn’t think it was necessary to call me, even after the principal mentioned my name,” he explains through gritted teeth as we rush to the entrance.

The three officers are standing in the hallway outside the principal’s office when we get there, one of them I recognize from that day at the drugstore. It reminds me why I still feel justified in my hatred of law enforcement, despite sleeping with one.

“You go make sure Dec is okay. I’ll be a minute.” He holds the door open for me and then shuts it once I’m inside. Dec flies up to hug me as soon as he sees me.

“Hey, you okay?” I ask against his head.

“Yeah. My dad’s here,” he whispers like it’s a secret.

“I don’t think he’s here anymore. I’m going to take you home though, just in case.”

“Is Jackson here, too?” I don’t have a chance to answer because we both hear the booming voice from the hallway.

“ I don’t give a damn about procedure. As soon as my name was mentioned, someone should have called me directly! This isn’t about jurisdiction, that’s my boy in there! The next time one of you overlooks that, I’ll have your badge!”

Someone responds, bravely or idiotically. Either way, it doesn’t seem like a good idea since Jackson is officially in papa bear mode, absolutely melting my heart.

“ I’ll go to your Chief, I’ll go to the state board, I’ll go to the God damn Governor. Try me!”

Dec giggles while the principal and secretary look at me with wide eyes. “Maybe next time, call him first.” I shrug, trying not to laugh myself.

* * *

“We’re getting a dog.” Jackson’s still fuming even after Dec’s gone to bed for the night. “I’ve been wanting a k9 for the department. I’ll get it trained and teach Dec how to handle it.”

I appreciate his concern about Dec’s well-being. His over-the-top anger is undoubtedly making my insides boiling hot for other reasons though. I love seeing the stoic put-together man with steam coming out of his ears.

“Do you think that’s necessary? Declan was crossing a boundary but do you think it will get worse?” I ask, even though I know that it’s not likely he’ll give up quietly.

“I don’t know. I’m not risking it when it comes to Dec.”

“Because he’s your boy?” I ask, wrapping my arms around his waist in the kitchen.

“Of course he is.” He holds me tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“You’re a good man, Jackson.” My admission makes his arms tighten around me.

“I love it when you’re sweet to me.” His hands are suddenly under my thighs, plopping me onto the counter easily.

“You said that you loved it when I was mean to you,” I remind him.

“One of these days you’re going to accept that I love everything about you, sweetheart.” His fingertips skim up my thighs reaching the hem of my shirt, his shirt that I’m wearing, and he snakes them underneath to get a hand full of my bare breasts.

“Maybe one day.” I kiss him hungrily, pouring all of my feelings from today out.

He takes all of it greedily, tugging my panties off and spreading my thighs wide before he drops to his knees below me.

He’s kissing up my thighs when we both hear the click of a door down the hall being opened.

A brief look of “Oh shit” and we’re both scrambling to act normal. I jump off the counter and Jackson stands up, leaping away from me like I’m on fire. He notices my underwear lying in the middle of the floor and kicks the fabric around the corner of the cabinets. Thank God my shirt’s long.

“Sissy,” Dec wanders into the kitchen sleepily, looking younger than he has in a while. He’s growing up but he’ll always be a little boy to me.

“You okay, bub?”

He shrugs his shoulders and gets into the fridge, snagging a grape from the bowl.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He’s a talkative kid, so when he’s not saying much I get worried.

“Every time I close my eyes, I think Dad is standing outside my window or something. It’s dumb. Only babies get scared.” His head hanging is the saddest sight, I can’t stand it.

“I have alarms on all the windows and doors. I’d never let him get to you, buddy.” Jackson hugs him, tightly. “We all get scared.”

“You get scared?” He asks the big man in front of him with wonder in his eyes. I tease Jackson about being Hercules, but he really is to a boy like Dec. The best male role model in the world for a little boy who has never had one.

“All the time. I was scared today when your school called because I thought you were hurt. I’m scared every time my mom gets sick. I’m terrified that your sister will stop cooking for me one day.”

Dec giggles at that last one and I roll my eyes. It seems to have helped lighten the mood though so I appreciate his effort.

“You can sleep in my bed tonight, okay? We’ll have a sleepover,” I suggest.

Dec laughs again. “We won’t all fit in your bed.”

“What?”

“Jackson is too big for your bed.”

“Well. Yeah, but I didn’t mean all three of us,” I explain. Up until this point, I’ve been pretty sure that Dec wasn’t aware that I was sleeping in Jackson’s bed every night. It’s not something I necessarily want to discuss with my little brother.

“Oh.” His eyes are downcast as he shrugs and it makes my heart ache.

“Do you want to sleep in my bed?” Jackson asks, hesitantly. He shrugs his little shoulder again. The poor kid has the same fear of rejection as I do.

“Wait, so am I invited to this sleepover, or not?” It sounds like I’m the one being booted to the curb, but it makes Dec giggle again.

“It’s big enough for all three of us, right Jackson?”

“Yeah, buddy. It sure is.” He winks at me over Dec’s head.

Suddenly, all three of us are lying comfortably in bed, Dec sandwiched between Jackson and me. It’s the first night in a long time that I won’t get to fall asleep in Jackson’s arms but somehow this makes me feel even closer to him.

The fact that my brother chose this sleeping arrangement and took the initiative to seek Jackson out warms my heart beyond belief. For the first time ever, this place we are living in truly feels like our home.

“Jackson,” Dec whispers. I keep my eyes closed and my back turned to the both of them, waiting to hear what he has to say.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Do you think you could come the last week of school and do career day with me? All the other kids are asking their parents.” His question is hopeful but hesitant. I don’t even have to hold my breath to wait for Jackson’s answer because I know he’s over the moon right now.

“I’d love to, Dec but what about your sister? She’s a cook, you know?” Jackson’s question is considerate but unnecessary. I don’t think anyone outside of him would consider what I do even close to a career. Not yet, anyway.

“I know. She’s already done so much for me, I feel bad asking her to help me with everything,” he responds sadly. It takes all of my restraint to continue playing dead. I want to turn over and tell him that I’d do anything for him. Always.

“She loves it because she loves you. We both do. I’ll do career day but make sure you ask her if you take a field trip to a zoo or something. She loves animals.” I roll my eyes under my closed lids. I make a few animal-related insults toward him and he won’t let it go.

“Do you love my sister, too?” Dec asks curiously. This living situation probably is odd to him, but I hadn’t thought about his perspective on Jackson and I’s relationship.

“Yeah, I do.”

My breath catches in my throat. It’s not the first time he’s insinuated his feelings for me, but I still can’t quite believe it.

“Would it be okay with you if I dated her?” He asks Dec and I can’t control the smile that spreads over my face.

“Like be boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Yeah, like that. I’d take her to dinner sometimes and we’d share a room so you can have the bigger one down the hall. Would that be okay?”

“I guess so, but only if you aren’t gross in front of me. Kissing is disgusting.” I hear Dec’s facial expression through his words. I would laugh if I wasn’t supposed to be sleeping.

“I’ll try to keep it to a minimum but no promises.” Jackson laughs and I feel the bed shake as if Dec tried to bump him with his elbow.

“Are we staying here forever then?” Dec asks seriously, sobering the atmosphere.

“Yeah, you can stay forever. I’d like it if you did,” Jackson responds just as seriously. It isn’t until I bite my lip that I realize my jaw is quivering. It’s not even about me. He’s giving my brother so much with that response. It means everything.

“Okay, we’ll stay then,” Dec says definitively and it makes Jackson laugh softly.

“Good. It’s settled then. You can tell your sister though, I’m afraid of her,” he teases.

“She’s not scary. She can be pretty mushy.” Dec snickers.

“I know, she has a big heart thanks to you. You’re her favorite person ever.” The bed jiggles again as Jackson presumably starts tickling Dec and then shushing him as they both laugh.

He has to realize I’m awake because there is no way anyone could sleep through their commotion, but I’m enjoying being a fly on the wall.

“I’m her favorite kid. You can be her favorite grown-up,” Dec suggests when his giggles cease. There’s a silent pause while Jackson contemplates that.

“Deal.” The bed shakes again and I think it’s because they shook hands—my two favorite men.