First Surrender (Chance Encounters #3)

Chapter Forty-Five

Natalie

S omehow I’ve almost made it through the school year taking care of my brother. There are only two weeks left until summer vacation and I’m celebrating the milestone as if it’s a golden achievement.

This past year of taking care of Dec has been the hardest but most fulfilling year of my life. I never would have guessed where we would be now, with legal custody, and living with a man who dotes on us constantly. I still can’t quite accept that part.

Dec loves Jackson though, so it’s hard to ignore how smitten I am. He always shows up and is kind, he never treats me poorly like Dec saw his dad do to our mom. Jackson plays with him and talks to him, never acting too busy even though he’s been working a lot the last few weeks.

He’s been called in multiple nights to go to crime scenes and Dec’s been too uneasy to sleep in his own bed without him home. Even after Judge Reisner awarded me custody, Dec can’t shake off the fear he has of his father.

He always knew his dad wasn’t a good man but after having his bike run over, the outburst in the courtroom has given him anxiety. He thinks his dad is coming after him and I can’t convince him we’re safe.

It doesn’t help that some of the kids at school caught on to his home problems and have teased him since the day Declan showed up at recess. While I thought the aide only made Dec go inside that day, she actually ended recess early for everyone and put a neon sign over Dec’s head. I can only hope it will be forgotten over the summer.

Even though Jackson got called in right after dinner, I convinced Dec to sleep in his own bed tonight. He said he’d only be gone for a few hours and I’ve been pacing anxiously by the front door waiting for him to come home.

We haven’t had any real alone time in almost two weeks. Not since the day we “fought” in his room.

It’s ridiculous how consumed I am by thoughts of him. I want to be with him every minute of every day and I miss him. I can be in the same room as him and still miss him.

His headlights sweep into the driveway and I’m out the front door before he parks.

“Hey, what are you doing?” He opens his door but I’m on him before he can get both feet out. I kiss him hungrily, melting against his body where I found a home between his muscular thighs.

“I missed you,” I breathe against his lips, claiming them once again. He doesn’t hold back, kissing me with just as much enthusiasm. His hands are buried in my hair, holding me preciously while he attacks my tongue with his.

My hands wander across his chest and down to his thighs, gripping them with desperation. I want him so badly, I feel like I’m about to combust.

My fingers find his belt, tugging it free and popping the button on his pants with ease. Thank God he’s not in his full uniform or this would be much more difficult. The mountain of steel below his zipper is calling to me and if I don’t get his pants down right now I think I might rip them off.

“Do you want to go inside?” Our foreheads are pressed together as I focus on undoing him from his pants. We’re in the driveway, it’s pitch black out here, and no one could see us from the road.

“No, I need this, now.” One brutal tug and I get his pants and underwear down his thighs. His cock stands proudly and I don’t waste a second before taking it in my mouth.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. His hands never leave my hair, holding it out of my face while I do my damnedest to fit all of him down the back of my throat. He’s incredibly long and thick, but I’m not a quitter.

It’s sloppy, chaotic, and absolutely inappropriate to do this to the Sheriff of Rollins County in his work vehicle but it makes it more exciting. I need him more than I’ve ever needed anyone in my life. More than that, I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

The coiling of heat between my legs is so intense that I’m rubbing my thighs together for relief, but having his cock in my mouth is too addictive.

“Get the fuck up here, Nat. I need you,” he pleads, mimicking my thoughts.

“No, I’m not done.” I take him deeper, gagging as his crown hits the back of my throat, and he grunts in appreciation. It makes me want to keep going. I love making him crazy.

“Dammit, woman. Come here.” He yanks me up from under my arms, lifting me with almost no effort, and settling me in his lap with my back against the steering wheel. Before I can protest, not that I care to, he’s yanking my shirt off and exposing my bare naked body. Of course, I’m not wearing underwear, I was on a mission.

His eyes blink hazily at me for a moment in distraction and I take my opportunity to sheath myself on his waiting erection. It’s still wet from my mouth and I’m dripping with anticipation. My body takes his cock easily and fully, settling onto his lap with force making us both moan.

“I needed this, so bad,” I admit, softly, melting against him.

“Me too, baby.” His forehead rests against mine as he thrusts into me, gently. The rush has dissipated and it feels like we’re exactly where we needed to be. Connected. Together.

He fucks me slowly but I know this is something different. It’s not fucking at all. He’s making love to me, kissing me softly, and holding me like a treasure. It’s wildly opposite from how I intended for this encounter to go but it’s perfect at the same time.

A drop of moisture escapes the corner of my eye and hits his thumb where it’s resting on my cheek. It’s too dark for him to see, but I feel him rub it against my skin.

He knows I’m not ready to put myself out there completely but he accepts me anyway. He’ll hide my tears away for now because he’s a patient man, but I know it won’t always be like this.

Every day with him, I can feel myself opening up more, freeing myself from my insecurities. One day, I’ll expose my heart and soul for him and it will be the last time I’ll ever have to do so because I know he’ll keep it safe. He’ll cherish all of me like I cherish him.

“Jackson,” I whisper against his lips, dying to tell him the words I feel, but as usual they get stuck in my throat. I’ve never felt as scared as I do when it’s time to be vulnerable.

“What do you need, sweetheart?” His movements stall and I know it’s my fault. He needs to know I’m alright.

“I need you, forever. Okay?” I ask, grinding in his lap, still seeking the connection I can only get from him. “I need you more than anything and it scares me.”

“I need you, too. You don’t have to be scared. I’ve got you,” he groans involuntarily when I increase my pace, fucking him desperately. If I can’t use my words tonight, I’ll use my body.

“I need this, too. Fill me, please. I want your baby growing inside of me,” I beg and he breathes a sigh of relief.

“Fuck, yes.” He grips my hips with brutal strength, lifting and dropping me, impaling me aggressively. It’s everything I needed and all I can do is hold on as he consumes me, my fingers tangled tightly in his hair and around his neck.

“God, I can’t stop but I need to make you cum,” he says through heavy breaths. Having him so wild and unhinged beneath me feels too good, I don’t want to slow down. All I want is for him to lose himself in me.

“No, don’t be nice right now. You can make it up to me later, fuck me. Harder,” I demand, yanking his head back so I can kiss him. He takes my queue, slamming into me, slamming me into him, over and over until I know the entire SUV is rocking uncontrollably.

It’s like I’m on another plain, getting to experience the unrestrained force of a man and reaping all of the benefits. It’s a soul-changing experience and I understand just how lucky I am to be safe in his arms.

The tears running down my cheeks now are nothing but chaotic and pleasure-filled. His cock pounds into me so hard that I can hardly catch my breath and I love it.

“So… Close,” he mumbles through his exertion.

“Give it to me, baby. Please,” I plead with the man who always gives me what I want and owns me entirely. The man who is going to give me a family and love me eternally.

“Fuck,” he groans, stilling inside of me. His warmth fills me and makes me feel whole. For the first time in my life, I know I’m exactly where I need to be.

I kiss him lazily, pouring my heart out, wishing I was brave enough to say the words. He deserves them.

“You called me, baby,” he says softly.

“Don’t get used to it, Hercules, I was only testing it out.” I laugh, quietly, kissing him on the nose.

“I love you, Nat. I know you’re not ready to say it, but I need to. I love you enough for the both of us.” He kisses me, erasing the need to respond and giving me an out because he knows I won’t be able to say it back.

“You don’t need to, not for the both of us,” I insist, covering my heart with his hand so he understands what I mean. I have the love, I just can’t say the words.

“I know,” he whispers. “I know.”

After a few minutes, we manage to scramble inside the house somewhat decently before he makes up for my earlier missed orgasm with two in the shower and another once we’re in bed.

Always the overachiever.

* * *

“Should we go get ice cream?” I ask Dec as soon as he steps off the school bus on his last day of school. I’m over the moon that I got him through this school year and after spending some time with Ms. Malec this afternoon in the sun, I need a treat.

“Uh. Yeah!” Dec shouts and runs to my car.

It’s a beautiful day and we drive to the ice cream shop with the windows down. Dec insists we sit outside and enjoy our cones at the picnic tables to celebrate the start of summer vacation.

All of the worry over giving him a normal childhood and it’s sitting at this poorly stained red picnic table, surrounded by other families, and more than a few curious bees, that I finally feel like I’m accomplishing my goal. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but rather the simplicity of a basic celebratory afternoon that has me feeling like I can actually do this.

I can be a mother to Dec, I can show him how easy it is to love him, and he’ll never have to worry about belonging anywhere.

“What are we doing next?” He asks out the back window of the car at our next stop while I’m pumping gas. Of course, ice cream wasn’t enough, he wants an adventure.

“I don’t know, I was going to head home.”

“Will Jackson be there?”

“I don’t know, I hope so.” I smile to myself as I get back in the car. Jackson Malec has turned me mushy.

A tow truck pulls into the gas station and pulls around to park at the empty pump ahead of me before I can pull out. It’s old and rusted, and the driver looks like a man you’d cross the street to get away from.

I watch through his side mirror as he reverses uncomfortably close to my front bumper. There’s a smirk on his face but I can’t see his eyes, I can’t tell if it’s directed at me.

My windows are still down but there isn’t any breeze to cause all the little hairs to stand up on the back of my neck suddenly.

I throw my gear shift into reverse to back out and away from this situation, but another truck pulls up behind me quickly, blocking my escape. Their windows are tinted, and I can’t see who is driving but my gut is already churning.

The story Jackson told me about Callie is rushing through my consciousness like a current.

Isolated highway.

Being taken.

Being trafficked.

We’re at a public gas station but it’s empty and the interstate beside us is dead because we’re on the outskirts of town. My fingers dial Jackson’s contact without my eyes leaving my mirrors.

“Hey, sweetheart, I have one more stop and then I’m on my way home.” His voice sounds far away in my ear as I watch the familiar lanky figure get out of the truck behind me.

Declan strolls to my window without a care in the world as my heart thunders in my chest.

I’m paralyzed. I don’t know what to do. Especially when a gun settles on the ledge of my window, pointed right at me.

“ Nat? You there?” Jackson’s voice is still in my ear but no amount of strength can get me to respond. Dec’s with me, I can’t run, I can’t fight. Not if it will get him hurt.

Declan wags the gun at me, indicating for me to end the phone call. When my mouth gaps to say something, anything coherent, he extends his arm to point the black barrel at Dec. A little squeal erupts from the back seat as my baby brother realizes what’s happening.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” I choke out the final words, barely stifling a sob. “I love you.”