Fix You (The Irish Rogues #3)

Prologue Maeve

B elfast, One Year Ago

At the rumble of thunder in the distance, I couldn’t fight the shiver that ran through me. I’d never been a fan of storms. As a child, the first crack of lightning or boom of thunder had me sprinting from my bed. After streaking down the long, carpeted hallway, I’d pick one of my older brothers’ rooms to invade.

Although they’d grunt and grumble at my intrusion, they’d always roll over and make room for me. If it was a particularly bad storm, we’d usually be joined by one or both of my younger brothers. Somehow Kellan and Eamon always had a sixth sense for where I was.

An ache ricocheted through my chest at the thought of the deep abiding love for my brothers. After tonight, they would no longer be the unsung heroes in my life to comfort and protect me at a moment’s notice. As much as I hated the idea of vanishing from their lives, fate hadn’t left me with much of a choice.

I could allow myself to be sold like a broodmare into a marriage with a man who was known to leave the women he dated with welts and bruises.

Or I could choose freedom and disappear into a new life.

Although it appeared to be an easy choice, it had been a heart-wrenching one. Other young women in my predicament could’ve just packed up and left.

But I wasn’t like other girls.

I was the daughter of an Irish clan leader whose members took a blood oath upon initiation.

No one quit the clan, and anyone who dared to go against my father’s word was killed.

Two weeks ago when he’d unexpectedly arrived from Boston with my older brothers in tow, I should’ve been suspicious. A decade ago he had taken my oldest brothers, Callum, Quinn, and Darragh, or Dare as he was called, with him to expand the clan business in America. As my father settled in Boston, my mother was ordered to stay in Belfast with me, Kellan, and Eamon.

Considering what an unimaginable bastard my father was, my mother didn’t mind being deprived of his presence. The only reason we made monthly visits to Boston on our private jet was that Mam hated her family being fractured into two continents. Although Callum was twenty, Quinn eighteen, and Dare sixteen, Mam mourned their loss daily. While they tried putting on the brave face of strong clan men, all three of them adored our mam and missed her desperately. In turn, Kellan, Eamon, and I were desolate without our older brothers.

While Da’s visits back to Belfast were never unannounced or without notice, I imagined he’d come on unexpected business. When I’d come downstairs to find the staff scurrying around in party preparation, my worst nightmare came to fruition when I learned the pretense of the celebration.

At the sight of a banner bearing Comhghairdeas Oisin and Maeve, my stomach had lurched into my throat. This couldn’t be happening. Over the last year, I’d heard whispers that Oisin O’Toole wanted me for his bride. Besides the fact he was physically unappealing, he ruled his clan with cruelty and depravity. Although I knew an arranged marriage was in my future, he was the last man on earth I wanted to be married to.

When I’d gone in search of my father to demand answers, I had found him in his office. He glared up at me from his paperwork when I threw open the door.

Since I knew my pleading would fall on deaf ears, I jerked my chin up. “I will never marry Oisin O’Toole!”

“Is that right?” he’d snarled.

I nodded emphatically. ”I’ll run away before I’ll ever let him touch me!”

Without a word, Da rose out of his chair. He slowly stalked over to me like a predator closing in on its prey. After grabbing me by the arm, he dragged me out of his office. I screamed from the pain of his fingers tearing into my bicep.

When he found my older brothers in the den watching a boxing match, he shoved me to the floor at their feet. “You are to beat the insolence out of her!”

A cry tore from my lips at the burning of my knees from banging onto the floor. The next thing I knew, Quinn was at my side, helping me to my feet.

Callum shot off the couch to stand before my father. “You craiceáilte bastard! How dare you lay a hand on her, least of all demand as much of us.”

“The ungrateful cunt says she won’t have Oisin for a husband. She needs to learn obedience.”

“We sure as hell won’t have any part in your sadistic games,” Quinn shot back as he held me in his arms.

“Over my dead body is Maeve marrying that psychopath!” Callum had bellowed.

Father glared at us. “As long as I draw breath, I’m the head of this clan, and what I say goes.”

“Continue down this path with Maeve and you won’t be drawing any breath.” Callum had then stepped toe to toe with Da. “You’ll be rotting out in the Kavanaugh crypt.”

Father’s blue eyes turned black. “You threaten me again, and it’ll be you who are festering out in the crypt.”

“Find another alliance, or you’ll be on your own. Dare, Quinn, and I will break away from this clan. You think you need the O’Toole’s here in Belfast, but let’s see how well you run a splintered clan.”

His threat had seemed to get through to my father. My “engagement party” had been unceremoniously canceled. My brothers seemed satisfied with my father’s change of heart, but I knew better. I knew as soon as they left for Boston, I’d be married in secret to Oisin.

As long as there was breath left in me, I wouldn’t let that happen.

So, I wouldn’t run away.

Instead, I would cease to exist.

All records of Maeve Kavanaugh would disappear. I would be reborn with a new identity.

But that rebirth meant a death–the death of the life I’d known.

Growing up as the only daughter of an Irish clan boss meant that I’d been spoiled and coddled by my mother and brothers. If anyone gave me grief, I’d always counted on my brothers to take care of them. Because of that, it was hard to imagine making it in the world alone without their help.

Besides my brothers, there was also the love and support of the most amazing mother anyone could ever hope for. She’d nursed me when I was sick, sang me to sleep, and made every birthday and holiday magical. She wasn’t just my mam—she was my best friend.

Part of me rationalized that my disappearance wouldn’t be forever. Just until my father died. Although he was only in his mid-sixties, the life he led as a clan leader had him staring down his mortality daily. He constantly found himself embroiled in conflicts with the Italians, Bratva, the Triad, and sometimes other Irish families.

Despite all of those, his greatest threat came from within through his own sons.

The day of my “engagement party” wasn’t the first time Callum had threatened to kill my father if he laid a hand on me. It wasn’t just Callum who would do anything to protect me. All my brothers would have given their lives for me. They’d willingly stepped between my father when he tried to hit or slap me. Over the years, they’d grown used to being the brunt of my father’s psychotically violent nature.

Deep down I knew they’d take care of my father so that I could come back to my family.

Glancing around the shadowy tomb, I once again shivered. I don’t know why I’d let Kellan convince me that the Kavanaugh crypt was the best place for me to hide out on my way out of town. With my ancestors’ coffins filling the walls around me, I couldn’t help feeling their judgment at what I was about to do. By refusing my father’s will, I was going against my family, and in the world of Irish clans, there was nothing more important than family.

At a sound behind me, I whirled around. “W-Whose t-there?”

Chuckling echoed around the crypt walls. “Just me, sis.”

A relieved breath whooshed out of my lungs as my youngest brother, Eamon, stepped into the dim torchlight. He wore his usual smirk—the one that made him look like Dare’s twin. All my brothers had my father’s dark hair and blue eyes, except for Kellan. He had a blonder version of Mam’s and my auburn hair. All three of us had the same greenish-gold eyes.

Eamon tugged the duffel bag off his shoulder and handed it to me. I glanced from the bag over to him. “Is this everything?”

He nodded. “Passport, credit cards, and cash.”

After unzipping the bag, I dug the passport out. In the darkness, I peered at the photograph of me emblazoned with my new name. I rolled my eyes at Eamon. “Marcella Donnelli?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

Motioning to my temporarily dyed hair, I replied, “When this washes out, no one is going to believe I’m Italian.”

“There’s redheads in Italy.”

“Not like here,” I countered.

Before Eamon could continue his argument, Kellan stepped into the light. Of the two of them, he was usually the voice of reason. “You’re Marcella Donnelli. Your family hails from Bellagio in Northern Italy, where red hair isn’t so rare.” Motioning to my face, he added, “Your Northern heritage also accounts for your pale skin as well as the fact your father married a Swiss woman.”

Cocking my brows in surprise, I asked, “You gave me a back story?”

“The start of one.” He winked at me. “The rest is up to you, Bella .”

“Italian is the worst of my languages,” I protested.

“That’s why I gave you a Swiss mother where you didn’t practice your languages as much.”

“You’ve thought of everything,” I murmured.

He gave me a tight smile. “Considering our enemies, Italy will be the last place they look for you.”

“I suppose that should make me feel good.”

“None of our enemies are looking for Marcella Donnelli.”

“Good point.” At the thought of leaving the country, I eyed the passport in my hand. Holding it out, I asked Eamon, “And you’re sure it’s legit?”

Eamon rolled his eyes. “Just because I’m fifteen it doesn’t mean I can’t deliver top-notch faked documents.” Jerking his chin at the bag, he added, “I’ve been dealing in this shit since I was twelve.”

Reaching over, I tried to ruffle his hair. “I’m sorry for doubting your expertise.”

He dodged away from me. “I’ll let it slide just this once.”

Kellan cleared his throat. “There’s a rental car waiting for you down the road. It’ll get you to the train station. Da’s connections will be focusing on the airports.”

I nodded like it was the first time I was hearing our plan. Since the night of my engagement party, we’d worked feverishly on executing my escape. Kellan and Eamon had even gone so far as to set up a post office box in New York so that I could communicate with them in case our burner phones were compromised.

After glancing at his watch, Kellan winced. “It’s time.”

Oh God. This was really it. It was one thing to sit around planning your disappearance. It was quite another to actually execute it. “You’ll smooth things over with the older boys?”

As Eamon nodded, Kellan replied, “They’ll understand.”

My chin trembled as I replied, “It feels like I’m betraying them.”

Kellan shook his head. “Trust me. They would do the same thing we’re doing to free you from Oisin.”

As I stared between my closest companions since childhood, a sob tore from my lips. “I’m going to miss you both so much.”

Tears shimmered in Eamon’s usually stoic eyes. “We’re going to miss you, too.”

Kellan’s throat bobbed as he tried to fight his emotions. “It’s not forever. The boys will see to that.”

I wanted to believe him. My heart certainly did. But my mind said otherwise. When I could finally find my voice, I croaked, “Take care of Mam.”

“We will,” Eamon replied.

Glancing at his watch again, Kellan said, “One hug and you have to be gone.”

Finally, I allowed myself to say the words out loud that had been plaguing me for the last fourteen days. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I sobbed.

Placing his hands on my tear-stained cheeks, Kellan stared intently into my eyes. “You’re stronger than you think.”

“I’ve never had to do a thing for myself.”

“Then you’ll learn.”

Eamon winked at me. “Or you’ll use the money in the offshore account to hire a housekeeper.”

I hiccuped a cry. As my gaze darted between them, I tried drawing on their strength. I thought of Mam and the towering resistance she’d shown over the years.

As if he could hear my inner turmoil, Kellan stated, “I believe in you.”

“So do I,” Eamon echoed.

I bobbed my head emphatically. It was time to believe in myself. “All right then. No more tears. Time to pull on my big girl pants.”

Wrinkling his nose, Eamon groaned. “Way to ruin a moment by mentioning your cacks.”

Kellan and I laughed at Eamon being offended by underwear. He jerked his head at me. “Come on. Give us a hug and then get going.”

As I took a step forward, the crypt door flew open, banging against the marble walls and sending stained glass shattering over the floor. My heart shuddered to a stop. Icy fear snaked its way down my spine as I knew there was only one person it could be.

I’d have welcomed the devil himself over the man who stepped into the torchlight.

Kellan shoved me behind him while he and Eamon went for their guns. My father tsked at them. “Drop your weapons, boys.”

“Not bleeding likely!” Eamon snapped.

Da narrowed his eyes. “Always you with the fecking cheek.”

“Just let her go, and no one gets hurt,” Kellan stated.

A cruel smirk curved on my father’s lips. “The only way she’s getting out of this—the only way any of you are getting out of this—is if she’s willing to wear Oisin’s ring. Right here, right now.”

My stomach lurched at the thought. Although Kellan and Eamon’s guns remained trained on my father, he continued strolling into the crypt like he didn’t have a care in the world. Like his two sons weren’t threatening him with loaded weapons.Behind him, three of his goons remained stationed at the back, waiting for his instructions.

When he stood before me, fear trembled through me so hard I fought to keep standing. Without a word, he jerked the bag from my arms. His eyes remained on mine as he tore the zipper open.

His gaze dropped to take in the contents. “Looks like someone is trying to cut and run.”

“You left her with no fucking choice after selling her off to that piece of shit,” Eamon countered.

Ignoring him, Da asked, “What do you have to say for yourself, Maeve?”

Even if I’d wanted to reply, I couldn’t have. My voice had become choked off by my emotions. I could only stare helplessly at my father.

“You’re never going to learn, are you?” Da sneered down at me. “No one double crosses me. Especially my own fucking children.”

I shook my head wildly back and forth at the thought of Kellan and Eamon facing punishment because of me. “Don’t hurt them. It was all my idea. I made them help me.”

“If that were the truth, it would be even worse. The very thought of my sons betraying their father based on a woman’s whims.” He shook his head. “No, they’ll pay for their part in this.”

With a sneer, Eamon countered, “You seem to forget we’re armed.”

A sinister chuckle rumbled from my father. “My men would take you out.”

To both my surprise and horror, Kellan replied, “It would be worth it to take your miserable ass out of this world.”

For a moment, Da appeared impressed at Kellan’s resolve. If we thought we had any upper hand, it was short-lived. Da pulled his phone from his suit pocket. After bringing the phone to his ear, he asked, “As I suspected, my children need a little motivation. Are you in position?”

After nodding, Da said, “Two of my men have their guns trained on your mother. If you continue this insolence, I will give them orders to kill her.”

As Kellan sucked in an agonized breath, a growl tore from Eamon’s lips. “You bastard!” he shouted. I couldn’t bear the thought of our sweet and loving mother losing her life because of me. I would endure hell with Oisin to ensure her safety.

Throwing my hands up in surrender, I shakily ordered, “P-Put the g-guns d-down.”

They didn’t have to be asked twice. “I’m so sorry, Mae,” Kellan whispered as he tossed the gun at Da’s feet.

I shook my head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. We have no choice.”

At the rage shimmering in Eamon’s eyes, he threw his gun at Da’s legs, nailing him in the shin. As my father’s face turned a shade of eggplant, he stalked forward. Grabbing Eamon by the neck, he shoved him up against the crypt wall. “You’ll pay for that one, boyo. Trust me on that one.”

As Eamon gasped for air, I tugged at my father’s arm. “Please, Father. Don’t make me marry Oisin. I swear on my life and on the saints to be obedient if you’ll find me another alliance.”

I searched my mind for what might appease him. “I’ll drop out of university. I’ll play the piano at all your parties. Just please don’t make me marry him.”

Da momentarily released Eamon. His answer to my plea came swiftly in the form of his hand cracking against cheek. At my whimper, Kellan rushed forward while Eamon staggered towards us. To my utter horror, my father jerked his gun out of his jacket and pointed it at them.

“I’ve told you time and time again. We need the O’Toole family’s support here in Belfast. To garner that support, I’m giving Oisin what he desires more than anything in the world.” He jabbed the gun at me. “And that is a marriage with you.”

His proclamation caused my trembling knees to give way, and I sank to the ground. Heaving sobs tore through me so harshly I could scarcely breathe.

“Dry your eyes, you ungrateful cunt. You’ll be one of the richest women in Ireland. Your sons will lead the second most powerful clan in the country.”

At the thought of bearing Oisin’s sons, my stomach rolled, and I retched violently onto the crypt floor. Over and over I heaved under the heavy burden Da was imposing.

With his gun still pointed on me, my father reached for the handkerchief in his breast pocket. He threw it at me. “Clean up and make yourself presentable for your future husband.”

My eyes widened in horror. Oisin was here? Was Father going to give me to him to be married tonight ?

As if on cue, Qisinn swept through the door of the crypt. A cruel smirk curved on his lips at the sight of me. “Hello, my brídeach .”

Hearing him call me his bride sent bile shooting into my throat, causing me to gag. Before I could recover, my father’s fingers twisted around my arm, jerking me to my feet. My cry of pain choked off into a screech.

Da grabbed me by the shoulders, turning me to face him. “I’m done with your impudence, Maeve. After I uncovered you and your brothers’ plan, I thought of many ways to punish you for your continued insolence and to dissuade you from any future disobedience.”

A sadistic look flashed in his eyes, and I shuddered at what I imagined was the torture that lay ahead. “But then I realized you are Oisin’s future wife, and the punishment should be up to him.”

This couldn’t be happening. When I tore my gaze from Da over to Oisin, a fiendish smile carved into his doughy cheeks. “I thought long and hard of all the ways I could prove that you were mine and mine alone. Beatings and brandings were in the forefront of my mind, but then I realized the perfect punishment.” Jerking his chin at Da, Oisin said, “ Surprisingly, your father agreed.”

“To prove that you belong to Oisin, he’s going to make you his. Right here, right now,” Da replied.

I stared blankly at my father. Considering there wasn’t a priest present, I didn’t comprehend what he meant. He’d already forced me to sign a marriage contract. The only thing that kept me from being legally Oisin’s was a ceremony.

Oisin leered at me as he took a step forward. “I certainly never imagined our first time in a crypt, least of all with an audience, but I’m sure I can rise to the occasion,” he mused with a lecherous chuckle.

At the realization of his words, mind-altering terror the likes I’d never experienced before shattered through me. “You can’t mean that,” I choked out.

“Marriages aren’t truly legal unless they’re consummated. In this case, possession is 9/10’s of the law–I possess your body, and you belong to me.”

As Kellan once again jerked me behind him, Eamon jabbed his finger at Oisin. “If you think we’re going to stand here and let you lay one finger on Maeve, you’re out of your fucking mind.”

Smirking, Oisin pointed his gun at Eamon. “You’ll stand there with your feckin’ mouth shut, or I’ll blow your brains out all over your sister. Either way, I’m still fucking her.”

“They’re not going to just stand there,” Da said, a menacing look flashing on his face.

“You’re damn right we’re not,” Kellan challenged.

Da cocked his gun. “As part of your punishments for helping her, you’re going to hold Maeve down for Oisin.”

The color drained from Kellan’s face as Eamon sputtered with anger. “You’ll have to kill me before you do that!” he spat.

“I have other sons,” Da calmly remarked. A horrific chill went through me at his intent As his finger twisted on the trigger, I shoved into him, causing the shot to barely miss Eamon before it shattered a vase of lillies.

My act of sparing Eamon earned me another stinging smack across my cheek. I turned my pleading gaze on Eamon and Kellan. Although I desperately wanted them to save me from the torture that lay ahead, the stakes were too high. “Just do what he asks.”

Kellan furiously shook his head. “We would never betray you like that.”

“Think of Mam. She can’t lose you.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Mam would be utterly destroyed if Kellan and Eamon were killed. As long as I had breath in me, I couldn’t allow that to happen. Swiping the tears from my cheek, I begged, “I can’t endure this if you’re killed.”

In that moment, I didn’t comprehend the depth of the emotional torture my request would be inflicting on them. Time would only prove how wounding it was to have a part in their sister’s violation. I just knew I couldn’t bear to live in a world where I had a hand in their demise.

A tormented regret twisted on their faces before they finally bobbed their heads. Their hands once twisted into fists fell limply at their sides.

After closing the distance between us, Oisin’s fingers gripped my chin. “From this moment on, you’re mine Maeve. My wife in practice if not yet in name. But don’t worry, we’ll be wed within the day.”

Before I could protest his insinuations, he slammed his lips against mine. Revulsion rocketed through me, and I once again fought my gag reflex. At that moment, I looked for small mercies, and one was that he wasn’t my first kiss. I’d given that to the son of one of my father’s clansmen on my eighteenth birthday. It had been soft and tender–everything a young woman could hope for.

Once he released my mouth, he stared down at me with a lust-filled gaze. “Your taste drives me wild.”

I turned my face away into the shroud of my hair so I wouldn’t have to look at him. The next thing I knew his fingers tightly gripped my waist, causing me to yelp. He picked me up and deposited me on top of the wide marble sarcophagus belonging to my great-grandfather who had started the Kavanaugh clan.

When I tried scooting on my butt to scramble back away from him, he shook his head with a grin. “The harder you fight me the harder my cock gets.”

His words froze me mid scramble. I wanted nothing to do with giving him any pleasure. Licking his lips, his hands grasped my shins, and dragged me back towards the edge of the sarcophagus. “I have been jerking off to the thought of your pussy for years.” He flicked out his tongue to lick up my cheek. “Now I get to see if the real thing is as good as the fantasy.”

His coarse words sent tears spilling over my cheeks. I’d imagined words of love and kindness spoken to me during my first time. Maybe even sinful words that lit me alight with desire.

But now I was Alice falling through the looking glass.

Oisin then shoved the hem of my skirt over my waist. His fingers clawed into my thighs, causing me to flinch in pain. My sobs gained momentum as he tore my underwear off. Any moment I waited for my older brothers to burst in and put a stop to the nightmare surrounding me.

But they didn’t.

With Oisin’s palm against my breastbone, he shoved my back down onto the cool marble. As he started unbuttoning his pants, I turned my head to see Father forcing Eamon into place at my right side while Kellan was at my left. With their heads tucked to their chests, their eyes stayed trained on the ground.

My hands flailed off the edge of the marble, desperately seeking theirs. When my skin connected with theirs, I held tight to them like a lifeline in a raging sea. At the feel of Oisin’s hardness probing my entrance, I pinched my eyes shut and clung to Kellan and Eamon.

When Oisin slammed into me, my mouth popped wide in a scream that never came. It was like the breath had been knocked from me. When air finally reentered my lungs, my brain registered the trauma between my legs.

Tearing

Ripping.

Burning.

I couldn’t escape from the physical trauma. A fissure began in my battered psyche. One that gained momentum with every harsh thrust of Oisin’s. For self-preservation, my mind threw a white flag of surrender and retreated from the harrowing present into a precious memory of my childhood.

When I opened my eyes, I stared past Oisin’s head to the crashing of the waves behind him. Kellan and I each had one of Eamon’s arms, and we were swinging his tiny form between us. His joyful screeches and our laughter replaced Oisin’s grunts in my ear.

The salty tears dripping from Kellan’s cheeks onto mine were replaced with the refreshing spray of ocean waves. We playfully tossed Eamon into the shallow water. Since he was only three, we didn’t dare take him far into the ocean.

When he surfaced, his giggles came in watery sputters. He then splashed the both of us. Kellan and I laughed while splashing him back. “Dunk her, K!” Eamon shrieked.

With a wicked grin, Kellan tried dragging me farther into the water. Usually I loved to submerge myself in the salty depths. As I floated along with the world tuned out, I would stare up at the cornflower blue sky in absolute peace.

But today fear snaked its way down my spine. I didn’t want to go under. I felt if I did I would be surrendering to a watery grave. Shoving him away, I started fighting my way back to the shore and safety.

But I only took a few steps before pain rocketed between my legs. It was so severe that my body doubled over. When my eyes could focus again, a scream tore from deep within me at the sight of blood streaking down my legs. My shaky hand slid up the wet skin of my inner thighs. Staring down at my fingers, I registered something else besides the blood.

Then someone was at my side in the water, sweeping me up into his arms. At first, I didn’t register that it was Kellan. His voice was much deeper and his appearance so much older than it had been when we’d first started in the water. “It’s going to be okay, Maeve,” he wailed, his chest rising and falling in harsh sobs.

“It hurts,” I wept as we sloshed through the water.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” he murmured into my ear.

Eamon joined us, but he wasn’t small anymore. His deep voice startled me in Kellan’s arms. “We’ll make it right. I swear to God, we’ll make it right.”

By the time we reached the shore, an inky darkness had snuffed out the bright day. From the shadows, Callum appeared at our side with Quinn and Dare. Shouts of anger echoed around me. Mam’s screams of despair. Her hands on my face. Her tears on my cheeks.

At the bang of a gun, the waves overtook me, and I sank under.