Fix You (The Irish Rogues #3)

Chapter Twenty-Two Maeve

F or the first time in my university career, I’d been woken up before my alarm by a ridiculously handsome and sinfully sexy man between my thighs. It certainly beat the shrill decibels of my phone. After we finished having sex, Rafe followed me into the shower where we partook in another round. I was seriously starting to get sore from overuse but I was not complaining.

He and Murphy walked with me to get a coffee and a croissant while Nolan kept a respectful distance behind us. When it was time to go to class, Rafe and Murphy went back to my apartment while Nolan drove me to school.

As soon as class was over, I bolted from my seat and rushed out the door. With merely a nod at Nolan in the hallway, I started hurrying out of the building. Once I got outside, I dug my phone out of my purse and called Rafe.

Instead of saying hello, he said, “I missed you, Tesoro .”

I grinned into the phone. “I missed you, too.”

“How was your test?” Rafe questioned.

“Good…I think.”

“As smart as you are, I’m sure you’re just being modest.”

“I think it has more to do with someone keeping me from studying,” I teased.

Rafe’s erotic chuckle sent heat blooming between my legs. “Call me a bastard, but I’m not even sorry.”

I giggled. “Me either.”

“In fact, I plan on keeping you up even later tonight.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to walk next week,” I teased.

“Mm, hmm,” he practically purred. “I haven’t been buried inside you for weeks. I don’t plan on letting anything interfere with being with you.”

“You’re impossible.”

“Impossibly horny. Hurry up and get your sexy ass back home.”

At that moment, my gaze focused on a familiar figure standing close to Nolan’s car. For a moment, I couldn’t believe my eyes, but when I realized it was truly him, my heart leaped into my throat. “Oh my God, it’s Quinn!”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. He’s standing about ten feet from me.”

Rafe sucked in a breath. “You don’t think he’s onto us, do you?”

“Considering how glad he looks to see me, I don’t think so,” I quipped, keeping the worry from my face.

“Call me if you need me.”

“I will.”

After shoving my phone in my jeans’ pocket, I started sprinting towards Quinn. The closer I got to him the more I recognized the emotional pain in his scarred face. Something bad had happened to bring him here, and my heart ached for him.

His haunted eyes lit up when I shouted my nickname for him from childhood. “Quinnie the Pooh!”

After diving into his waiting arms, I squeezed him tight. “Oh my God, it’s so good to see you.” And that was the truth. Despite my apprehension about why he was here, I truly was glad to see him.

He squeezed me back. “I feel the same way.” When I teasingly pinched his back, Quinn jumped. “What the feck was that for?”

I giggled. “I was just trying to see if you were real.”

With a chuckle, Quinn replied, “Aren’t you supposed to do that to yourself?”

“Maybe,” I replied with a wink. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Do I have to have a reason to see my baby sister?”

I grinned up at him. “I meant, what are you doing in Dublin?”

“As I’m sure Mam has told you, I’ve been visiting with her and Eamon.”

“Aye, she did.”

Since he’d always been a man of few words, Quinn hadn’t told Mam why he’d come back to Ireland. Despite trying to get the boys to crack, none of them would tell her. She had her suspicions that it had something to do with his girlfriend, Isla. We’d both fallen in love with her over some Facetimes with her and Caterina.

“So, I decided to take a little trip to see you while I’m across the pond.”

I stared intently into his blue eyes. Like me, he was so good at masking his emotions. But his pain was palpable, and it took trauma to known trauma.

He smiled. “What’s with all the suspicion?”

“For starters, you might love Belfast, but you hate Dublin.”

“That’s because I’m a Northern man through and through.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m serious, Quinn.”

With a shrug, he replied, “I just wanted to check on you.”

“Bullshite!” I countered.

“Listen to your mouth. Mam would have your hide if she heard you.”

I laughed. “It’s the hazard of having five brothers.”

“Aye, you never stood a chance, did you?”

“Never.”

“You have my apologies for corrupting you.

“I’d rather you buy me a drink.”

“Cursing and drinking now, eh? Where did my innocent little sister go?”

Amusement faded from my face as my eyes darkened. “She died a long time ago.”

He winced. “I’m sorry I said that, Mae.”

“It’s okay. We’ve both had our traumas.”

“Regardless, the last thing I would ever do is hurt you.”

“I know that, Quinnie.”

With a mirthless laugh, he replied, “But you know what? Maybe you shouldn’t trust me. I mean, I say I would never, ever hurt people, and then I do.”

I furrowed my brows at him. “What’s really happened?”

“I’ll tell you over a pint.”

I nodded. “There’s a decent pub just up the street. Fancy a walk?”

“Yes, the air would be nice.”

“One sec,” I said. Turning around, I found Nolan at the back of the car. “We’re going to grab a quick pint.”

“That’s fine, Ms. Kavanaugh. I’ll follow behind you.”

“Thanks, Nolan.”

As Quinn and I started walking to the pub, silence hung heavy around us. “Did something happen with Isla?” I asked.

“Who were you all smiles with on the phone just now?”

Warmth flushed my cheeks. Under normal circumstances I might’ve shared a little about my love life, but Quinn wasn’t getting one word that might divulge my relationship with Rafe. “None of your business.”

“So it was a man.”

I jerked my chin defiantly at him. “I asked you a question first.”

“Does this man know who you are?”

“We’re not talking about me. It’s you who mysteriously appeared, saying you hurt people when you don’t mean to.” Lowering my voice, I added, “Since we both know hurting people is part of your job, I’m to assume that it means you’ve hurt a certain woman you care about very much.”

“You’re too smart for your own good, Mae.” With a grin, Quinn held open the pub’s door. We swept inside and took a seat at a booth in a far corner.

After a waitress came and took our order, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Out with it.”

“I’m in love with Isla.”

“Oh Quinnie, that’s wonderful.”

“She left me.”

“No!” I exclaimed.

He nodded. “But she had a very good reason.”

“There could never be a good reason to hurt you.”

“No one can fault the lass considering she was kidnapped and psychologically tortured because of me and my world.”

I gasped. The waitress returned with our drinks. After sucking down half of my pint, Quinn began to tell me what had happened with Isla and a Bratva leader named Mikita.

When he finished, tears pricked my eyes. I reached out to grab his hand in mine. “There aren't enough words to express how sorry I am. For you and for Isla.”

“I want to leave the clan.”

My eyes popped wide. “But you can’t. You took an oath.”

“Aye, but oaths can be broken.”

“Not without bloodshed.” I shuddered. “Not without death.”

“I don’t have anything left, Mae. I loved Rian like a brother, and this world took him from me. Then I truly gave my heart to a woman for the first time, and this world takes her as well.” He slowly shook his head. “I don’t know if I can take all this pain, Mae.”

I squeezed his hand. “Our family needs you. I need you.”

Quinn exhaled a ragged breath. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Find the will to get up in the morning. Resist the urge to just end it all.”

“Because then they would win. In my case, it doesn’t matter that Father and Oisin are dead. By giving up, they’ve won, and I will never, ever allow that as long as I have a breath within me.” Jerking my chin up, I added, “I’ll survive, and I’ll thrive out of pure spite.”

“That’s talking like a true Kavanaugh.”

“Thank you, brother.”

“Gah, you’re so fucking strong, Mae.”

As Quinn echoed the sentiment Rafe had, I couldn’t help but feel. “Most days, I don’t feel that way. I wonder if I’ll ever not wake up screaming because of that night. If I’ll truly ever be able to give myself to a man without seeing Oisin’s face or feeling his hands on me.”

He shuttered his eyes at the mention of what I’d endured. When he opened them, a tortured look resided in them. “Were we wrong to never ask you about that night? I know it’s a delicate matter, but did you need us at least to ask? Did you need to tell us what happened?”

“As much as you all have sheltered and protected me, there’s some horrors I need to keep to myself.”

“Kellan had to talk to Isla about what happened.”

“I’m glad he did. It’s liberating when you free yourself of the pain.”

“You aren’t angry he shared what happened?”

I shook my head. “I want him to be able to be in my presence without crying. I want him to be everything he can be in our family without being riddled with guilt and remorse.”

“I think he’s well on his way to doing that.”

“Good. Now we can just focus on you.”

“I might be a lost cause.”

“Never.”

“I want to believe you.”

I gave him an encouraging smile. “We will find a way to get her back.”

“I think that’s as much a lost cause as I am.”

“Trust me.”

“I’ll try.”

I rose out of the booth. “Got to nip to the loo. I’ll be right back.”

“Do I need to come with you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Seriously, Quinn? I think I can go to a random restaurant’s loo alone without you or my bodyguard.”

“Fine,” Quinn muttered.

“Be right back.”