For Better or Hearse

Chapter Forty-One

H e can’t do this anymore. Be away from Ash. It’s been two weeks since he left LA, and every day, he feels like he’s slipping farther into insanity. It’s painful being away from her. It doesn’t help that the connection on the ocean is shit. He keeps missing her calls. The way they left things taints every conversation. Like they tossed a stick of dynamite into their relationship right before he left.

Nathaniel radios for a helicopter to take him back to the ship and heads to the upper deck of the Sophia Marie . He’s been called out to the rig at some ungodly hour. A crew mate thought he was having a heart attack when, really, it was a classic case of overeating. And now he’s up. Awake.

Hands clenched around the rail, he looks out over the Pacific. The ocean is choppy. Far off, the bright lights of LA twinkle. Pure torture. He’s this close and can’t touch her.

He should be thinking about his grandfather and his limited time on this earth. Instead, there’s only Ash. Every solitary thought inside his head is Ash, telling him to go home to her.

The way they left things eats at him.

Couples argue. He understands that. But Ash struggles with trust. Her guilt over him and Camellia. Thinking about him not being there, about how they left, it’s like razor wire lining his gut. Ash and that beautiful brain of hers is no doubt overthinking. Worrying. He loves that about her. That she feels. That she cares so damn much.

It’s his job to be there to support her. And he isn’t.

Two more months at sea feels like an eternity. He’s already talked to his supervisor about finding a replacement. If he can, he’ll be on his way home sooner than anticipated .

A wave rocks the boat. Instead of steadying himself, Nathaniel digs his hand into his pocket, turning a velvet box over in his palm. Meant to be a gift for Ash the night he left, but it wasn’t the time. Now it’s burning a hole in his pocket. A reminder of what waits for him at home.

God, he’s pathetic. But he doesn’t give a shit anymore.

He’s ready for a normal life. On land. With his morbid little beauty. Her gallows humor, that massive black cloud of hair, and her fierce, kissable mouth. That black cottage on the beach. Bringing breakfast to the girl in his bed. Cryptozoology Monthly , peanut butter crackers, whatever it is that will make her happy. He’ll overpay for helicopter rides to any and all haunted locations. And most of all, he can’t wait to hear her call him her Very Tall Asshole until the end of their days.

He misses her.

Right now, he has to suck it up and do his job. The crew needs him. He has to get his head on straight.

Their love stretches that distance. Can she feel it too?

That Ash-shaped space in his heart won’t change because they’re apart. If anything, the time away has only cemented how much he loves her.

Another wave hits, and the Sophia Marie sways, violently tilting sideways. Nathaniel grips the railing to stay afoot. Rather than righting itself immediately like it should, the rig is pitched, and now the ocean is closer than it was before.

As he searches the black sky for the helicopter, he realizes it wasn’t a wave that hit it.

A siren sounds through the rush of the wind. Crewman scramble onto the deck.

Alert, Nathaniel whips around. There’s a glow on the rig that wasn’t there earlier. And it’s spreading. Fire.

“Fuck.” Nathaniel grabs his radio and sends an SOS to the ship. And then he’s moving, heading into the chaos, even as Ash whispers in his ear.

Be careful. Come back to me.