For the Love of Donuts

24. It Was Real to Me

Skye

Truthfully, I know how I feel right now.

I feel lost. And frustrated.

It’s annoying.

How the heck does Tatum already have his emotions all figured out? He’s handling this so easily, and it doesn’t make sense to me. Why isn’t he more freaked out?

“Oh, well, that’s okay,” he says, moving his hand to cup my cheek. “You don’t have to be sure right now.”

He’s touching me so much.

It shouldn’t matter. It never mattered before.

Except, oh yeah, I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE LIKES ME!

My best friend likes me. And I like him.

Maybe.

That word is getting scarier and scarier…

“Skye? It sounds like your phone is buzzing.”

I blink as I step away from him and I fumble to get my phone out of my pocket.

Dria: Hey, babes!

Dria: You guys on your way?

Dria: If you think y’all will be super late, just let me know so I can take these frasking heels off for now.

Dria: Freaking not frasking.

Dria: How did it autocorrect to that?? It’s not even a real word!

And then she sends an eye-roll emoji.

Crap, how did I forget about babysitting the twins? That’s literally why I came over here to get Tatum.

Me: Yeah, sorry, I’m picking up Tatum now.

Me: We’ll be there soon.

She sends me a thumbs-up emoji, and I repocket my phone before focusing on Tatum again. “That was just Dria. I told her we’d be there soon.”

He gives me a hesitant look. “Do you still want me to come? I don’t have to come if you’d rather some space.”

Space?

Space from Tatum?

That sounds absolutely horrible. I think space from him would leave me feeling even more lost, and that’s the last thing I need.

“No, you’re good,” I say, hoping I don’t sound like I’m about to fall apart. “Ready to go?”

He offers a brief nod, but then holds his hand out. “Keys.”

“What?” I ask with creased eyebrows. “Why?”

“You’ve already got a lot on your mind. If I drive, that’s one less thing for you to worry about.”

I should insist on driving anyway, but his suggestion is too tempting to refuse, so I hand over my keys without a fight. Our fingers brush for a moment, causing those sneaky sparks to make a reappearance, and I look at Tatum to gauge his reaction.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers, “I feel them too.”

Does that mean his lips tingled after we kissed? Just like mine did?

I’m too anxious to even ask him.

However, the question is still nagging at me once we’re both in the car and on our way to Dria and Trey’s house.

“Tatum,” I say as he hums along to one of our “safe” playlist songs, “can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything.”

“Even if it’s kind of awkward?”

“For sure, even if it’s kind of awkward. What’s up?”

I click my tongue as I try to think of the best way to ask him about this.

“After we kissed—” I glance over at him, and one of his eyebrows pops up. “After we kissed, did you have like…any side effects from it? I know we agreed the kiss shouldn’t have even happened but—”

“Hold up a sec,” he interrupts, his fingers flexing over the steering wheel, “I need to clarify something first before I answer your question, okay?”

I don’t have a chance to ask him what exactly he’s going to clarify, though, because he just keeps talking. “Skye, I only agreed that we shouldn’t have kissed because you felt like we shouldn’t have kissed. You were upset about it, and I didn’t want to make things worse by telling you there wasn’t anything fake about that kiss. It was real to me.”

The AC is on low in here, but shivers overtake my body regardless.

It was real to me. It was real to me. It was real to me .

“So, yeah, I definitely had side-effects from our kiss,” he says with a slight laugh. “My heart was beating so hard that it hurt, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but in a good way? It was amazing. I knew there wouldn’t be anyone else I’d want to kiss after that.”

My stomach tightens as his words sink in. This is crazy. This is absolutely crazy.

He doesn’t want to kiss anyone else.

Just me. Only me.

I stare at him in disbelief. “You know that from one kiss?”

“No, I know that from one kiss with you ,” he replies, not skipping a beat. “There’s a difference.”

Oh.

I swallow as he turns into Dria and Trey’s neighborhood. “Well, what if we kissed again and it wasn’t good?”

Look at that, I’m over here asking questions without thinking them through first.

We love to see it!

Tatum parks in front of their house and then pins me with an intent look. “I doubt that’s possible. But if you ever decide we should kiss again, just in case, you let me know.”

My mouth drops. I don’t even bother trying to stop it.

“Tatum—”

“Listen,” he cuts in, turning to face me better, “do you remember what I said when you were hesitant about that photoshoot kiss?”

I don’t miss the way he didn’t say “fake” kiss.

“We’re not going to do anything that you’re not okay with,” he repeats the statement from before. “I meant it. I still do. I’m not going to pressure you into knowing if you like me back or not, and there won’t be any more kissing unless you say so, I promise.”

To show how serious he is, he holds out his pinky to me.

And since I’ve never had a reason not to trust him, I wrap my pinky around his.

“Good,” he says as we unlink fingers, “now let’s go do some babysitting.”

“What do you mean my bill is a million dollars?” Tatum wails as the twins giggle at him. “I only ordered a sandwich!”

“It was a special sandwich!” Lanie exclaims, still giggling. “And-and we need lots of moneys to take care of our babies!”

“And our animals!” Nova chimes in. “Lilivanna got hurted again!”

That poor purple fox spends her whole stuffed animal life being injured.

“Okay, okay,” Tatum concedes, tossing his hands up, “I can see that you two are trying to make a living as good mommies and pet owners, so I will pay a million dollars for my sandwich.” He gives them a pile of play money. “Here’s all of my dollars, and I have a My First Little Bank card too.”

More giggling. “Thank you, Ta-um!”

Lanie puts the money into their pink cash register while Nova looks at Tatum expectantly. “How ’bout sweets?”

“Sweets?” Tatum echoes, shaking his head. “I don’t think I have enough money for sweets.”

“Cake is free,” Lanie tells him with a shrug. “Aunt Skye can make it!”

“Oh, I thought I was the sandwich maker,” I finally rejoin the conversation. “Baking a cake is a lot different than making a sandwich.”

“It’s okay, Aunt Skye,” Nova says, coming over to me and their kitchen playset. “I can help you bake a cake!” She leans in closer and whispers, “It’s just pretend, ’member?”

Too. Adorable.

“Yeah, I remember,” I whisper back. “What kind of cake are we baking?”

“Ta-um!” Nova props her tiny hands on her hips. “What kind of cake do you want?”

“Uhhhh, surprise me?” Tatum gives Lanie the blue plastic credit card. “And don’t let Aunt Skye put anything gross in it, okay?”

“Okay!” Nova proceeds to tell me the directions for baking a cake, and even though I nod occasionally, my mind is focused on Tatum. I always love watching him interact with Lanie and Nova, but does he usually look this cute doing it?

“Aunt Skye! The cake is gonna burned!”

I turn my attention to Nova, who’s waving a flower-printed oven mitt at me. “Sorry, munchkin. I didn’t know it would bake that fast.”

Did we even set a pretend timer?

I put the oven mitt on before opening the oven door. “Mmm, it smells delicious!”

“Nothing gross,” she proudly says as I pull the cake out. “Good job, Aunt Skye! Pease you take it to Ta-um while I check on Lilivanna?”

“Sure thing, boss.” I give her a quick kiss on the cheek, then I make my way to Tatum and Lanie. “I have cake for someone over here?”

“It’s for Ta-um!” Lanie huffs. “Aunt Skye, did you forget?”

“Oops!” I pretend to hit the side of my head. “Silly me!” I set the cake down in front of Tatum. “There you go.”

“Ta-um,” Lanie says with a sassy look, “you need to tell Aunt Skye thank you .”

Tatum locks eyes with me and the corner of his mouth tilts up. “Thank you, Aunt Skye.”

My pulse flutters without warning as he continues to stare at me. “You’re welcome.”

“Very good manners.” Lanie claps to show her approval. “Now Ta-um will eat the cake and we can pick up before TV time!”

“This cake is super yummy,” Tatum says, pretending to eat it. “Do I taste fairy dust in this?”

Nova gasps, bringing Lilivanna over to us. “Yes! That was the secret thing Aunt Skye and I put in there!”

We did? When??

“Nova, we gotta pick up,” Lanie says with a slight yawn. “Mommy and Daddy said no TV time if we don’t.”

“I know, I know.” Nova proceeds to sigh. “And we still ’ave to put the babies and animals in bed!”

The stress of being a toddler-adult…

About fifteen minutes later, everything is picked up and all the baby dolls and stuffed animals are put in bed. Then, after watching two episodes of a mermaid princess show, it’s time to put the twins to bed as well. I carry Lanie out of the living room while Tatum carries Nova, and my heart squeezes when I hear him humming the show’s theme song to her. Is this how it would be if we—

No, I shouldn’t even be considering that.

Or maybe I should be?

Family is important to me, and I think I’d want to have kids in the future, if it was with the right guy.

Is Tatum the right guy ?

I mean, he’s a walking green flag, I’ve known that for years. But is he the right guy for me ?

“You doing okay?” Tatum asks after we finish saying good night and I love you to the girls. “Ya know, with everything we talked about?”

“I think I’m just kind of in shock still.” I shrug, hoping to hide my nervousness as we walk back to the living room. “It’s not every day your best friend tells you that he likes you.”

And doesn’t want to kiss anyone else besides you.

Can’t forget about that.

“Well, is there anything I can do to help with the shock factor?” He looks at me expectantly. “Or to make all of this less weird for you?”

This. Man.

Tatum is more than a green flag, he’s a whole freaking forest.

“We could watch one of those competition reality shows on MoreFlix,” I say, nodding toward the TV. “And I think Dria mentioned something about leftover pizza in the fridge?”

He proceeds to grin. “What kind of pizza?”