For the Love of the Broken Man (Love & Cowboys #3)

1. Chapter One

Chapter One

Jason Langston packed up the faded, G.I.-issue, green rucksack that had been his father’s when he started basic training. Jase, as he preferred, had grown up moving from one Army base to another and had been raised under rigid standards and regimented rules. It wasn’t anything new to Jase’s friends, old and new, who’d been sentenced to the same fate… growing up in a military family.

Jase didn’t hate the military. He admired the men and women who went to work every day to protect the United States, at home and abroad. He appreciated their service and volunteered for many things in support of those military personnel and their families, hoping to return their loyalty to the country in his own way—one that definitely didn’t involve him putting on the uniform.

One of the coolest people in uniform Jase had ever met was Colonel Robert Stanford, the base commander at Ft. Bliss, Texas, where his father was currently stationed. Jase had been a guest in the Stanford home several times, and he’d always been made to feel welcome. He enjoyed spending time there as much as he hated being in his own home.

Jase wasn’t allowed to have friends over to the Langston house because his father believed if Jase had free time, he would have time to work. His father made damn certain Jase’s days were full of chores or a part-time job.

Thankfully, high school was finally over, and Jase knew he wasn’t going to follow in his father’s footsteps, joining up as was expected. He wanted a change of scenery, and he wanted it as soon as he could get the hell away.

He was eager to go to college, but he’d need to work for his tuition money because he knew his parents hadn’t planned to help him further his education by means of a college or university. ”The Army was good enough for me, and it’s good enough for you. I learned everything I’ve needed to know while I was defending my country. It made a man of me, and I suspect it would make a man of you as well.” His father had repeated those words to him for as long as he could remember.

One bright spot in Jase’s gloomy world was his best friend, Savannah Stanford. She and her girlfriend, Andrea, had taken him under their wings when his family arrived at Ft. Bliss five years earlier. Savannah’s mother, DeAnne, was active on the base and visited his family at their new home the day after they moved in.

Mrs. Stanford had assisted his mother, Virginia, in getting Jase settled at school and had coordinated summer activities in which Jase had participated when he was allowed.

When his father, Master Sergeant James Langston, learned Savannah was a lesbian and the Colonel had neither beaten her to death, nor kicked the girl out of his house, James forbade Jase from hanging out at their home or with Savannah at all. He went so far as to call them “ Godless heathens who’d sold their souls to the devil. ”

His father had also tried to get transferred to another base, but Ft. Bliss needed him more than he needed to be transferred to a “godlier” post, so the man was stuck. Of course, every night Jase and his mother, Virginia, had to hear about all the things James found offensive about Robert Stanford and the way he ran Ft. Bliss.

Jase, not surprisingly, still hung out with Savannah and Andy behind his parents’ backs, and he still sought refuge at the Stanford home when he knew his parents were otherwise occupied. It was how he’d had the lucky circumstance to meet a huge, bull rider named Matthew Collins on the weekend after Thanksgiving, two years’ prior, while the Langston’s were away for their anniversary.

Jase was at Savannah’s house for breakfast that Saturday morning while Mr. Collins was there for a visit. The big cowboy was drop-dead gorgeous, and Jase couldn’t take his eyes off him when he sat down at the dining table to join the group of high school students before they went to set up for an event on post.

Later, when Savannah confided to Jase about Matt being gay, he nearly creamed his pants. She quickly followed up about his amazing partner, Tim, but Jase took it as a positive sign for his future that someone as manly as Matt Collins was gay and out . Jase’s father had called homosexuals every nasty, degrading term under the proverbial rainbow on so many occasions, Jase had almost punched him in the mouth during one particularly revolting tirade. That would have likely led to Jase’s early demise, but he’d have died with his head held a little higher because he’d stood up for himself.

With Savannah’s help, Jase had been able to secure what sounded like a decent job. He’d been hired to live and work at Matt Collins’ cattle ranch in a little town called Holloway, Virginia, even though he didn’t know anything about cattle. He was grateful for the opportunity to learn something new, and he was anxious to get on the road to his future.

There was a soft, tentative knock on his bedroom window, so he placed an envelope with a letter for his mother on top of his computer keyboard, having ensured he’d cleared the cache of every possible offensive thing he’d seen or any clue as to where he might end up, such as errant emails and web searches. Unfortunately, there was no porn to worry about. He was too scared to search for it at home.

He opened the window and found Andy standing on a ladder with a smile. “Gimme your bag, chicken butt.”

Jase laughed because he knew she didn’t approve of his dramatic escape in the middle of the night, but she didn’t know his father at all. If James Langston had an inkling of Jase’s plans, he’d likely have ended him, no questions asked.

Hell, if James ever found out his son was gay, Jase was sure he’d hunt him down and do the job without a second thought. The more highway and time he put between himself and his father, the better.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s heavy,” he whispered to alert Andy, so she didn’t lose her precarious balance some twenty feet above the earth as he handed the bag out the window. He watched as she began descending the rickety wooden ladder with his whole life over her shoulder, and he took a deep breath, looking around one last time.

He hated leaving like a thief in the night and he hated leaving behind the woman who loved him more than anyone without giving her a proper goodbye, but in his heart, he knew it was the best thing to do for himself and for his mother, Ginny. She had plausible deniability when James interrogated her about Jase’s whereabouts, and the best gift he could give her was to keep her in the dark.

Just as Jase was about to haul his lanky frame out the window, he heard noise coming from the hallway before his bedroom door opened slowly. He saw his mother standing in the doorway in her robe, and he froze. “Before you go, come give me a hug,” she whispered as she stepped into the bedroom and softly closed the door.

Jase was shocked she’d figured out he was leaving that particular night, but he loved his mother and was grateful to say goodbye. “I’m sorry, Mom, but you know why I have to go, right?” He pulled her into his long arms, relishing the last time she’d hug him for a long time—or maybe forever.

His mother sniffled before she pulled away and reached into her pocket, pulling out an envelope. “I know, Jason. Your father’s a hard man, and he’s gotten worse since we moved here, but I know he loves us deep down inside. He doesn’t know how to show it. I can understand why you need to leave, and I know why you’re doing it like this. I wish all of it was different, but it’s the hand we’re dealt, I suppose. Please, please, take care of yourself and call me at work once in a while to let me know you’re okay. I love you, Jason, and I’ll pray for you every day.” She hugged him again.

He put the envelope in his jacket pocket after he pulled away from her, taking her in once more to emblazon his heart. “I’ll call you when I get where I’m going, okay? Please take care of yourself as well, Mom. I love you, too.” He released her and wiped an errant tear that somehow made its way down his cheek.

Walking over to the window, Jase swung his leg over the ledge, smiling at his mother as she followed him and closed it. He waved as he descended the ladder, watching as she dried her eyes as well. Once he was at the bottom, he took the ladder and returned it to the wall of the garage before he hopped into Savannah’s Chevy Traverse. “Everyone buckled in?” Savannah asked with her always bright smile in full effect.

Jase adjusted his seatbelt, clicking it into place before he took a last look at the home where he’d lived for the past five years. He could have sworn he saw his mother’s shadow in the living room picture window as they drove by, but he was certain she’d slipped back into bed with his father.

Jase reached into his jacket pocket to retrieve the envelope she’d given him before their last goodbye. He opened it to find ten, crisp, one-hundred-dollar bills. What is she doing? She shoulda kept this money for her own getaway. God, am I making a mistake?

He was certain it was money she’d been able to keep from his father one way or another, and he hated she’d given him her stash. He knew it would take her a while to amass that much cash undetected in the future, so he closed his eyes and sent up a prayer of thanks to the universe for his mother’s unwavering love and compassion.

“Lie down in the back seat, Jase. We’re comin’ up to the guard shack,” Savannah informed, speaking through a smile. He and Andy both laughed as he slid down onto the floor so as not to be seen. He damn well didn’t want word getting back to his father how, or with whom, he’d made his escape. “Hey, Private Soh,” Savannah greeted the guard.

“Evening Miss Stanford. Kinda late for you girls to be goin’ out.” The guard’s comment sounded kind of fresh to Jase, considering the guy was likely only a year or two older than the two of them.

“We’re goin’ to the lock-in at the high school. It’s tradition in case you don’t know. We’re running late because we had parties to attend first.” Savannah’s voice had a bite that brought a grin to Jase’s lips.

Everyone on the base looked out for her, knowing her father was the interim commander while another General was sought to fill the position. There was speculation her father would start accumulating those stars on his shoulders, but Jase didn’t get caught up in base gossip. He knew it would piss off his father if Colonel Stanford was made a Brigadier General and put in charge of Ft. Bliss permanently, so he wished for it that much more.

“Okay, ladies. Be safe.” The private opened the gate. Once they were safely off base and out of the glare of streetlights, Jase slid back onto the seat and buckled his safety belt again.

“You guys are so great to do this for me.” Those words weren’t nearly enough to thank his friends for their help, but that was all he had to give.

“I don’t know why you won’t stay at the house and let us take you in the morning. Seems like eight hours in a bus station is going to go by in turtle time,” Savannah stated, not for the first time.

“You know this is the best time to get away, and you two can get Lon to let you in the back door of the school for the lock-in. This gives you an alibi if the shit hits the fan. Nobody saw us together and all our friends will say you were there the whole night.

“Your family has been far too good to me to have the wrath of James Langston come down on them, and I’m sure my mom would be pissed if Dad got thrown in the stockade for causing shit at your house.” Both women chuckled, likely at the idea of his father getting locked up.

“Anyway, I’ve got a coupla podcasts on my old MP3 player, and I might document my journey to independence. Who knows? Maybe I’ll write a travel book to rival Kerouac,” he joked with his friends as they motored down the highway toward the seedier side of El Paso where the bus terminal was located.

Jase was sure eight hours in a bus terminal was going to be like a slow train to hell, or conversely, the best sideshow he ever witnessed, but nothing worth having was ever easy, was it? The stupid state assemblyman who’d spoken at the graduation ceremony earlier in the day had said the same thing in his speech. ”Nothing worth fighting for has ever come easy. God bless Texas.” Jase chuckled at his last memory of high school.

Andy turned in her seat and handed him a small box. “This is from Vanna and me. Wait till you’re on the bus to open it. Remember we love you, Jase, and if you need anything at all, you better call one of us.” Savannah turned down the street and stopped in front of the terminal.

Andy opened Jase’s door before she walked to the back of the SUV to retrieve his duffel. She returned to where he stood on the sidewalk and placed it on the ground, looking up at him with big tears in her gray eyes. “You little bastard. I love ya, man. Please be safe and stay in touch.” Andy pulled his slender frame into her sturdier one.

Andrea was set to attend the University of Texas at Austin in the fall on a softball scholarship. Savannah was going as well, but she was a damn genius, so her scholarship was in the bag at the end of their junior year.

Jase knew how happy they were to be going to the same school, and he would keep positive thoughts for them to have the sticking kind of love he hoped was out there somewhere. He liked the idea that someone he cared for had it.

“Hey, you can’t keep a good man down. Have a great summer. Take care of Savannah. You know she has a tendency to get herself into trouble,” he teased as the fiery redhead walked around the front of the SUV and crossed her arms over her chest in a fake attempt at being aggravated. Savannah didn’t have a mean bone in her body.

“Stop talkin’ trash ‘bout me, Jason Langston before I have Andy take you over her knee. Now, Matt’s gonna have somebody pick ya up, so if somethin’ happens and the bus is gonna be late, call the ranch so they know. They’re all lookin’ forward to meetin’ ya. Give my little nephew a big ol’ kiss and tell him Aunt Vanna loves him, will ya?” She hugged Jase around the neck, and when she pulled away, she had tears in her eyes as well.

Water began to gather in Jase’s eyes, so he had to shut it down. “Okay, you two. Get going. As soon as I get access to a computer, I’ll send you emails, okay? I love ya both. Be safe, and if you can, please check on my mom every now and again.” His mother worked at the post office on post, so he knew Andy and Savannah would have occasion to run into the woman without raising his father’s suspicions and causing any problems.

“Sure, Jase. Be awful careful, honey.” Savannah kissed him on one cheek while Andy kissed him on the other. He didn’t dawdle. He grabbed his duffel and hurried into the run-down building before he fucking broke down.

Goodbyes sucked.