Forbidden Billionaire Rockstar (Raising Havoc Bandmates #4)

14. Jace

14

Jace

“How did you end up joining Raising Havoc?” Mallory asks after a few moments of silence with her head pressed against my chest.

Mallory’s question hangs in the air. I pause, my fingers tangled in her hair, as memories of a different life flood back. It’s a simple question, and it feels right to share a little more about who I am.

I run my fingers through her hair and smile at the memory of who I was before joining the band. “I was a back-up guitarist for another popular band for a few years.”

“Weren’t liking it anymore?”

“Not that I didn’t like it, just that I couldn’t stand being second best and wanted more for myself.”

“And you accomplished that,” Mallory whispers. “You sound like me, sorta.”

She leans up enough to look into my eyes, a level of vulnerability in her stare, and I arch a brow. “Oh yeah, how so?”

“I used to be a very different woman,” she says with a smile. “I miss her, but I wouldn’t go back to who I was. This is who I’m meant to be now.”

“Different how?”

“Oh, trust me, you don’t want those boring details.” Her cheeks heat as she makes the statement, and she fidgets with the blanket we’ve got wrapped around us.

“Uh uh,” I mutter, then sit up and cross my arms in front of me. “Now I’ve gotta know.”

She rolls her eyes and shrugs. “It’s not that interesting. I was the party type — if there was alcohol, you could count on me to be lurking around. One-night stands were my thing, never happening a second time because love was a blip on my radar, and I struggled to hold down jobs.”

As Mallory speaks, I see glimpses of the woman she used to be - wild, carefree, unapologetic. It’s a stark contrast to the professional fa?ade she wears now, and I wonder which version of her I’m falling for - the reformed party girl or the ambitious career woman. Or maybe it’s the complex blend of both that’s captured my heart.

“What changed your perspective?”

“I watched my brother and best friend fall in love,” she says softly. “Then the rest of his friends followed suit — Ryker with Wren, Evan and Mia — and I realized getting my act together was the best thing for me to do.”

“So, you believe in love?”

She sighs heavily. “It’s not that I never believed in it, just that I didn’t think I was deserving or enough to feel the emotion.”

“And now?”

“Now, I want to get my life on track before thinking about a relationship. The last thing I need is a distraction when I’ve only just started the career I’ve worked my ass off for, you know?”

I don’t know, but I’m not about to tell her that. When I used to think about my future, it never once included a woman at my side. Now, when I think about it? I can’t help but imagine a honey-haired, bright-eyed woman with curves for days next to me throughout my life. I am aware that the person I can’t stop imagining seems to be Mallory, and that’s why I choose to keep my mouth shut.

A jolt of understanding surges through me. When did Mallory become the star of my future fantasies? This arrangement was supposed to be simple and uncomplicated, a way to spend time and move on. But nothing about Mallory is simple. She's become as essential to me as the music that flows through my veins, her touch a melody I can't get out of my head.

The thought of our tour ending, of going our separate ways, leaves a hollow ache in my chest. I'm caught in a war between my heart and my head. Every fiber of my being wants to hold onto her, to explore this connection that feels deeper than anything I've ever known. But the rational part of me knows the cost. Our careers, Brent's trust, the band's dynamic - it's all hanging in the balance.

The moment I’m honest about my thoughts, the quicker she’ll push away from me, and that’s the last thing I want.

I’m about to open my mouth and continue the conversation, but a soft snore escapes past her lips, and I glance down to find her eyes have fallen shut with her mouth parted open. Instead of moving into a more comfortable position, I stay where I am and stare at her head resting on my chest. She’s breathing deeply, a ghost of a smile on her lips, and I run my knuckles over her cheek with a smile.

She should definitely be in her own room, but having to watch her walk out was going to be torture, and I couldn’t bring myself to let her walk away. Having her here, in my arms, where I can quietly watch the slight rise and fall of her chest, is exactly what I need to get through the night without tossing and turning.

Every other night, we’ve met in her room, and she almost always falls asleep right before me, which gives me the chance to disappear from the room before she can wake up. I knew it was only a matter of time before I couldn’t walk away from her, but I hadn’t expected it to happen this quickly.

There’s still another month left of the tour. I don’t have to worry about going our separate ways just yet, but what the hell am I going to do when the time comes?

Like she just said, her sole focus right now is her career, and she doesn’t have time for the distraction a boyfriend would bring.

Why am I thinking about being her boyfriend?

I shake my head and frown, my hand resting against Mallory’s honey hair. We agreed — this is nothing more than a way to pass the time while on the tour. It needs to stay that way, regardless of where my feelings are leading me.

Without moving too much and waking her, I shift myself around until I’ve got a few pillows tucked around me and lean my head back against the headboard. Another soft snore escapes Mallory’s lips, forcing a smirk to tip at the corner of mine, and I slowly let my eyes fall shut as I listen to the sound of our breathing.

This is something I could get used to, and that’s the most dangerous thought of all.

***

The first thing that wakes me up is the sound of a horn blaring incessantly on my right and I groan, a dull ache shooting up my neck from the weird position I’ve found myself in. I almost forget about the events of last night until Mallory shifts on my lap and snuggles closer to my leg. My eyes are still closed, my mind nearly right back asleep, but another shrill ring pulls me out of the exhaustion.

I glance around, finding the culprit sitting on my nightstand, and I reach over to grab the device that’s lighting up.

The soft glow of early morning light filters through the half-drawn curtains, casting long shadows across the room. I can hear the muffled sounds of the city coming to life - car horns, the distant rumble of traffic, the faint chatter of early risers on the street below. It's a stark contrast to the intimate bubble we've created in this room, a reminder of the world waiting just beyond these four walls.

Trevor’s name shines on the screen, forcing me to frown, and I’m about to tap Mallory to let her know he’s calling when a loud knock sounds on my door.

The peaceful bubble we’ve created bursts with the harsh intrusion of reality. Brent’s voice, muffled through the door, is like a bucket of ice water, shocking us back to the complicated web we’ve woven.

This time, Mallory sits up, her gaze darting around the room wildly. She snaps her attention to the door when the knock echoes through the room again.

“Jace, man,” Brent says through the other side, and my heart stalls in my chest.

Mallory is the first one to jump from the bed, me following right behind her, and she picks up the first article of clothing she comes into contact with before pulling it over her head. I blink, taking in the sight of her in my t-shirt, but Brent’s frustrated sigh outside my door forces my attention away from the Goddess standing in front of me.

“Shit,” she hisses, her gaze darting everywhere around the room.

“Bathroom,” I whisper and nudge my head toward the open door. “Start the shower.”

“Seriously? I clearly don’t have time to get in the damn shower with you.”

“Not with me, just to throw him off a bit. He’s not going to worry about coming inside if he thinks I’ve got someone here.”

Mallory nods, then scurries across the floor into my bathroom while I tug a pair of boxers over my legs and saunter over to the door. I take a deep breath, plaster a smile on my face, then pull open the door. “Brent seems a little early for a visit.”

He rubs at his eyes, as if he’s only just waking up as well, then nods. “You’re tellin’ me, but Carmen called and asked that we meet her downstairs in ten minutes.”

“Guess I’ve gotta get rid of my company,” I say with a chuckle.

Brent arches a brow. “Company?” He peeks over my shoulder, eyeing the room with a careful gaze, and then he looks at me with a shake of his head. “Just don’t be stupid and cause trouble. I’d like to finish a tour this time around.”

“Sure thing, Cap.”

“Get dressed, do what you need to do, then head downstairs.” He spins around, heading toward Donny’s room, and waves at me without looking back. “See ya soon.”

I wait until he’s disappeared into Donny’s room before I step back and shut the door to mine, and then I blow out a relieved sigh.

Her sobs, barely muffled by the door, feel like physical blows. Each gasping breath she takes is a reminder of the pain I’ve inadvertently caused. I lean my forehead against the cool wood, feeling utterly helpless. “Sweetheart,” I plead, “let me in. Not just the door -let me into whatever you’re feeling.”

A sob echoes from the other side, and my heart cracks at the sound, hating that she’s in there alone. I try the knob, but it doesn’t budge, and I frown at it. “I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.”

She doesn’t say anything, only the sounds of her sobbing greet me, and I try to turn the knob once again, even though I know it’s unlikely that she got up to unlock it. “Come on, sweetheart, open the door.”

“Just—leave me alone,” she chokes out. “Give me a minute.”

Since there’s no other way I can get to her, I do as she asks and walk back over to the bed. Carmen needs us downstairs in ten minutes, but how can I possibly leave Mallory alone in my room when she’s upset like this?

Did I do something wrong?

We’ve barely woken up. I couldn’t have possibly done anything to make her upset. Maybe she thinks Brent caught her sneaking into the bathroom, even though I waited until she was out of sight before opening the door. And it’s got her freaking out. There’s also the possibility that she’s overthinking the fact that we are both lying to her brother and sneaking behind his back.

I bounce my leg nervously from the edge of the bed, my gaze locked on the bathroom door, and I perk up when I hear the sound of the toilet flushing. A few moments later, the door swings open and Mallory comes into view — a sight that makes me want to hurt whoever made her this upset.

Her nose is red, eyes bloodshot, and her chin is still quivering even though she tries to straighten her shoulders to act as though everything is okay. I’ve been around her enough to know that she’s not, though.

Aside from the obvious signs of her crying, she’s got her hands resting in front of her and she’s fidgeting her fingers together as she looks down at the ground. She stops in the middle of the floor, takes a few deep breaths, then looks at me with a sad smile as if trying to convince me even further that she’s alright.

She shakes her head, a brittle smile plastered on her face. “It’s nothing, just hormones.”

“Bullshit,” I counter, gentler than the word suggests. “I’m not buying the ‘time of the month’ excuse. What’s really going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

Mallory’s eyes meet mine, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. For a moment, I think she might actually open up. But then her phone rings, shattering the moment.

“I don’t know what else to tell you, but I’ve got to head back to my room and get ready for the day.”

She’s still got my t-shirt on and bends over to grab the bikini that got discarded on the floor last night, but before she can make a move for the door, I wrap my fingers gently around her wrist. “Sweetheart, you can talk to me.”

“I already told you what’s wrong,” she whispers.

“And I don’t buy it. Tell me what’s really up. Maybe I can help you?”

Mallory stares at me for a few moments, then glances at the door like she’s trying to plan out her escape in that pretty head of hers before bringing her attention back to me. Her phone rings again, and I notice the change in her demeanor as soon as she gets a look at who’s calling, which is enough to let me know exactly what’s going on.

Someone out there has the power to upset her this deeply, to shatter the confident fa?ade she wears so well. And I face an uncomfortable truth. I’m not just falling for Mallory - I’m ready to fight for her, consequences be damned.

How can I make this right?