Forbidden Deception (Deception)

13

5 years ago

“H ave you seen your face? No wonder your parents left you here to rot.”

I shut my eyes in time for a torrent of water to cover my head.

Running my hands over my face, I inhale deeply, trying to regulate my breathing. Sitting in the dining hall isn’t the best place to eat my food, so I get up. Trying not to feel humiliated has long left my mind ever since the two new girls arrived at the boarding school.

I don’t leave my room often, but when I do—usually for food—they always seem to be there.

I’ve done all I can to avoid and ignore them, but sometimes they manage to catch me alone. Though there is someone standing behind them today.

Someone who has been watching me.

Medora Hale.

She has black hair, sharp eyes, and a mean look on her face. How could you not be afraid of her when she almost stabbed another girl with a fork for pulling her hair? Or that time when she literally pulled out a girl’s chair just as she was about to sit and made her fall because she didn’t let Medora sit at her table in the canteen?

There was also the time when this one girl, cocky with blue eyes, wanted Medora’s black lace dress for the small new year’s party and slapped her when Medora didn’t want to. What did Medora do?

She tore giant rips in the blue-eyed girl’s dress, and she had to go to the party in jeans.

Medora has gotten quite the reputation since she joined the boarding school just a year ago, and right now, she’s standing above me, behind the girls who are too busy laughing to notice her.

I didn’t do anything to piss her off, nor have I challenged her in any way.

Medora doesn’t strike back unless provoked, and I didn’t do anything.

I also don’t remember her having any kind of ill feelings towards the two girls in front of me, so why is she standing here glaring at them?

Turning around, I head back to the comfort of my room. I can’t deal with them.

I barely talk as it is, but—

Slap.

I whip around to find the brown-haired girl holding her cheek, tears in her eyes. Medora is now standing where I was.

“Get moving,” she commands in a low voice, her back to me. I am sure she is smiling that cold creepy smile that is supposed to be sincere but just looks psycho.

The girls scramble away, whispering and whimpering.

Medora turns around and pins me with her cold, empty eyes.

I stagger back a step.

“Follow me,” she murmurs, then shoulders past me.

I have no choice but to follow her all the way to the highest floor where the towers overlook the vast forest that surrounds the school.

It also happens to be extremely windy and cloudy today. The only thing in sight are trees as far as the eye can see, not a single sign of civilization. I guess that is the point of this school, after all.

Medora stands across the open terrace, her arms crossed and looking far older than her seventeen-year-old self.

I stand next to her, holding my arms, not because I want to be like her, but because it’s freezing.

I hope she doesn’t push me off the edge.

“I love how everyone in this stupid school is unwanted, illegitimate children of powerful people, sent away to be hidden, to live and grow and die away from peering eyes.” Her voice is clear, yet the sliver of mocking is there.

She shuts her eyes, then laughs and turns to me.

“I thought girls here would try to find solace in each other, company to keep them sane, but everyone is turning on each other, abusing the weak or the not-so-social people. Crazy how the world works… Maybe they want a few moments of power over someone else when they have none over their own lives.” She leans forward and rests her arms on the gravelled balcony.

The howling of the wind sharply pierces the air. Our hair gets swept up in a frenzied ruin. There’s no chatter, no sounds from any humans up top here. It’s an open terrace so high up you may believe you could touch the sky. Sitting on the hill, this castle-like school is shrouded by the clouds on foggy mornings.

I often find myself walking through the quiet hallways during the night and afternoon when everyone is gathered in common halls, but I never stepped foot up here, not on the open terrace.

I can barely hear Medora over the wind.

“Do you have a dream?” She questions.

“I wanted to see the ocean. Live by the beach, feel it, touch it, listen to it. It’s been a big dream of mine. I read stories and live vicariously through the characters to experience my dreams. I slip between pages of books to find just a small hint of the feel of seashells, the water, and the sea life, only to blink and find myself in a boxed room once more, shattering my illusions.”

I suck in a breath, her words cutting deep inside me.

Do I have a dream?

Do I want something from life like that, too?

“Do you have hopes? Dreams? Aspirations? What is your reason to live? Your will to keep going in life and not just give up in this godforsaken school?” She turns to me, seeking answers I do not have.

I open my mouth, but no sound comes from. I just shut it and shamefully look away from her.

Fact is, I don’t have any of that.

The cold makes me shudder in place, raising goosebumps on my arms. She’s forcing me to answer. I can’t exactly run from here.

I have been living the past few years of my life—actually, my whole life—just wandering aimlessly through the halls of all these different schools, constantly changing rooms, just existing.

I didn’t dream, didn’t wonder what was outside.

So what’s the point? Why am I even living?

“You don’t have anything. Who is a fool enough to live so pathetically?” she continues, and the lump grows in my throat.

“Stop this bullshit and do something. No wonder people find you easy prey. You have no drive, no desire for anything.” She turns and walks away, though the bitter taste of her words remains.

Even minutes after she’s gone.

Even when the sunset that seems so far-fetched, so out of reach, is gone.

The night falls, and the moon feels even farther away.

What is driving me to keep going?

What is it that I want in life?

Over the next few days, I read, I watch, and I look all around me. I look at trees twice, at the sky all day and night. I listen to conversations around me. All in hopes of finding my drive, to find my answer.

Days pass, and I can’t seem to grasp the answer to Medora’s question.

Though, I do watch her from afar.

She reads in the library often. She’s quiet just like me, but there is a streak of defiance in her that pushes away everyone from her.

Weeks later, the day arrives when the teacher walks in, asking for volunteers for a gardening session, and I opt in. I want to know everything. I want to experience everything. I need an answer to just one question, and I will keep trying things until I find it.

Two months later, the first peek of my new sunflower growing makes me attend it every day. Days turn into months, and it grows and grows till I find fascination with its colour. It’s the richness of the deep yellow, the browns, the glow of it. I plant another, and another, and another.

Until the small collection of mine catches Medora’s eye.

I water them and find her leaning against the far wall, watching me.

I plant new flowers and find her sitting on the steps behind me, watching me.

The mystery of how many different plants there are in the world, how many unique flowers, piques my interest.

A new class begins on the anatomy of our body, and we meet our new teacher, Samuel Ricco.

Medora and I find ourselves silently sitting next to each other.

“I have my answer. Maybe,” I whisper to her, talking to her for the first time in months.

Her lips tilt up.

The next month, a sick and twisted look spread accross Mr Ricco's face.

A call to his office after class.

A reckless monster that preyed on the weak.

A wandering hand chipped part of my innocence while Medorra took it upon herself to get herself harmed to protect me.

I would rather kill and pick up the knife from the floor in the office than ever have my and Medorra's innocence taken from me.