Forbidden Deception (Deception)

28

“I s something wrong?”

I look up at Rafael’s voice, the sound raising goosebumps on my skin.

“Something wrong” would be the wrong term for my current situation. How do I put into simple words that these fleeting feelings that I wasn’t too sure of are about to wreck my life?

When I was in boarding school, no one ever asked me that question. Every girl in that school was there because their parents didn’t want them. I don’t know if anyone truly cared about any of us.

Rafael’s question hits me in the gut.

Remo made sure to prioritise my health and well-being, even if he was quiet about it, and Aurora was there for me, too. But I just couldn’t trouble them with my worries. My scars and pain ran far deeper than my skin.

I sigh, look into his concerned eyes, and nod. I can’t put it into words, but surely, I can depend on him for a little bit of comfort.

Rafael takes a step inside my office, walks around the table, and leans down, grasping one arm of my chair while the other softly tilts my chin up. Just the softness and carefulness of his actions makes me want to weep.

He runs his thumb back and forth, his powerful, deep eyes full of emotions most people probably don’t believe this man capable of feeling.

“I feel a bit… tired.” That’s the best way to describe how I feel. I have spent nights worrying, thinking, and worrying some more.

About me. Rafael. Remo. Everyone and everything.

I want my subconscious to quieten. Even for a day.

Rafael tilts his head and takes hold of my hand. He pulls me out of my chair, then grabs my bag.

“Wait. Where are we going?”

“Somewhere.”

“Nice. Thanks for the information,” I huff.

He turns so sharply that I almost slam into him.

A smirk paints his face. Twisting my arm behind my back, he attaches me to his front, plastering me with invisible glue. Leaning down, his lips graze my ear. I can literally feel his smile against my ear. My stomach dips and twists inside me.

“Don’t throw that sass at me. We are in the office, but don’t forget I own this city. I will not hesitate to take it out of you.” He leans back, eyes darker than a shot of espresso.

“Okay, so I should please you, then?”

I hold in a smile when his eyes narrow.

“Watch it, Venezia,”

“Sure,” I say and rise on my tiptoes to reach his ear. “I’ll follow your rules if you follow mine.” I rake a hand down his chest, feeling every bump of his chiselled body down to his belt. I hook a finger and pull teasingly.

“You think I will follow your rules?” he grumbles.

I huff and lean back, pulling my hand from his hold, but he doesn’t let go.

“You won’t?” I look at him, fluttering my lashes. This man is so down bad for me that he would drop to his knees for me. At least, I think he would.

Shaking his head, he turns and walks towards the elevator. Him holding my cute girly bag makes me giggle in the elevator.

He doesn’t spare me a glance and is still holding my hand and bag when we walk through the office. I keep my head is down, and rip my hand out not wanting anyone to think of my position even remotely in the wrong manner. No one likes me as it is. This office is very hostile.

I don’t want it to get worse.

“I don’t think you should have done that, Rafael. People are quite ruthless,” I whisper in the quietness of the car.

“Venezia, no one will say a word to you. I have warned them about ever uttering anything offensive to you. I wanted you all to myself to torture, but I couldn’t keep doing that, clearly.” He lifts our joined hands, giving me a quick glance, then goes back to driving.

What did he just say?

“Torture?” I whisper, turning to look at him.

He needs to explain before something inside me shrivels.

“You were far too confident, and I had never had a personal assistant who didn’t stutter in front of me. Many did try to stick up for themselves, but gave in later, then I fired them. If they couldn’t handle me, how would they handle my business partners? People in meetings? The pressure and the mental energy needed to truly stand beside me?

“It’s why I made you do those extra courses, why I pushed you to be almost perfect in everything. I didn’t want anyone to doubt you or question you and your position. It’s happened with me, and I don’t want the same for you or for anyone in your position.”

“But torture? What does that even mean?” I push, letting go of his hand. Right now, despite his words making sense, it doesn’t exactly sit right with me.

“It means you got on my nerves without trying. You bounced around me like a bunny, and it irritated me, so I was a little harsher on you than I originally wanted to be,” he admits.

“Oh, so you wanted to get me to run away from you?” I lean over the middle console, staring him down with my heart shrinking inside me. “You are a ruthless boss. I hope you know that.”

Rafael chuckles, shaking his head like something is funny when it really isn’t. I can’t believe he was so harsh on me and made me work so late that sometimes I was too tired to even change my clothes at home. Most times I even crashed at the apartment because the long drive back to my actual house didn’t even feel worth it.

I get so drowned in my own head that Rafael starts to glance at me every so often, a small pinch between his brows. After a few minutes, he reaches for my hand.

“Can we go to my apartment?” I interrupt the silence.

The rain starts again, and the wipers start to flick, back and forth, back and forth.

I’m a little bitter that he acknowledged he was extra rude to me. I mean, I still did what I wanted, and I still went about my day, but it burns something inside me. All that this time, he intended to indirectly hurt me.

I guess I shouldn’t feel that way. Rafael, as Remo warned, is quite ruthless, and I shouldn’t forget that.

“Come on. We have arrived.”

Without waiting for Rafael, I get out and walk towards the building in the rain.

Rafael quickly catches up to me and dusts the rain off his jacket.

I have no right to get mad at him when he is exactly how everyone portrayed him. I shouldn’t pull away when I have seen so much improvement in him, especially in terms of trust, and I can’t let all this work go down the drain.

This is turning into something more than work. In fact, it switched into a non-professional relationship the minute Rafael kissed me in Greece.

“I want to curl up on my couch, watch a movie, order pizza, and put on face masks.” Grabbing his wrist once the elevator doors open on my apartment floor, I pull him in behind me.

I keep walking until we get to my bedroom, then I drop my bag on the floor and find a tank top, shorts, and comfy socks.

“I don’t have a change of clothes for you, so you can order pizza while I change.” I turn around to find Rafael’s suit jacket off, revealing his muscles beneath the white dress shirt. His sleeves rolled up, revealing corded arms, and the first few buttons of his shirt are already open.

My jaw drops.

He catches me looking and smirks, taking slow, predatory steps towards me.

I quickly look away, my cheeks and ears burning.

Nice, Venezia, you did a great job at pretending you aren’t affected.

“Feeling shy, Venezia?” He turns my face towards him, darkness wrapping around him in crowding clouds.

Strands of brown and grey hair fall into his eyes, enhancing the depths of his irises. He takes calculated steps forward. A faint tremor wrecks through my body, but I stay rooted in my place.

I swallow thickly.

“Get changed. I’ll get you your pizza. Don’t get distracted again, baby.” He leans down and places a soft kiss on my neck. Electrifying shocks zaps through my body, and I jump.

He turns and walks away, his walk exuding a quiet intensity, it makes me look up at the ceiling.

He’s hot. Like really hot.

Can he stay mine forever?

Changed and on the sofa, both Rafael and I are comfortable under a blanket. His big body takes up most of the space, but I am more than happy to curl up against him. His arm is wrapped around my shoulders and a horror movie plays on my TV.

“Oh my God! She’s going to die! Why is she going in there?!” I yell, my hand gripping Rafael’s arm tightly. I hold the blanket up to my eyes, ready to pull it up if the girl in the movie finds a ghost behind her.

“She’s quite dumb. Why would anyone—”

I cover his mouth with my hand. “Shush, I’m watching a movie, Rafael.”

He grabs my hand and lowers it but doesn’t let it go.

I scream the second the girl in the movie turns around and a masked man appears. The jump scares make me jump in place, though Rafael’s arm keeps me rooted in place.

With a racing heart and short breaths, I’m frozen in place on the couch, not moving a single muscle, not even taking an extra breath.

The stupidly dim lights don’t help either.

We both don’t move from our spot, me because of the movie, and Rafael probably because he doesn’t want to fall victim to my glare.

The bell rings, and I jump up, throwing the blanket on the floor and running to the door.

“Pizza for Rafael?” the man states, holding a large pizza box.

“Yes. Thank you.” I grab the box and shut the door, then walk over to Rafael, who opens his arm once more, the blanket on his lap again.

I grin, taking my place against him.

He leans forward and opens the box.

“I want that one.” I point to the one I want, and he carefully picks it up and offers it to me.

He leans back and grabs one for himself.

“We ate pizza together for the first time all those months ago, remember?” I mutter, turning towards him.

Rafael nods, eyes on me. “Yeah, you couldn’t go home without eating your pizza with me by the ocean.”

I burst out laughing, shoving at his arm, but of course he barely moves.

“Don’t say it like that. I was craving one very badly that day. Oh, and don’t get me started on the awful grumpiness you had going on.” I finish my slice and grab another.

“You can’t be talking. You were a chatterbox who wouldn’t shut up until I accepted whatever you wanted.”

A smile lifts at my cheeks when I remember how I was trying to befriend him, my heart achingly soft for this man next to me.

“Yeah, I guess so. I desperately wanted you to warm up to me. I guess it had to do with no one wanting to speak with me when I first joined the company. I felt quite alone, and it was too quiet.” I look down at my lap, remembering just how utterly quiet everything had got when I moved back here.

I swallow and look up to find Rafael tilting his head at me.

“This face, this personality, the grace with which you walk and talk, the woman you are, Venezia… It isn’t every day one meets a soul like you, and if people failed to recognise the gem you are, that is their own fault.”

Tears well in my eyes at his words, and I choke out a laugh.

“You and your words…”

“I will happily take these tears if they are because of my sweet words to you but never if they are because of something harming you. I will destroy the world to keep that smile on your face.”

The first tear slips from my eye.

He reaches forward and swipes a tear away.

“Stop crying, please,” he whispers, placing a kiss on the corner of each of my eyes.

“How could I not? I can’t believe you are the same person I met on my first day. You may look hard and strict, but you care so deeply for those around you that it’s melting my heart.” I chuckle, sniffling.

I grab his hand and the blanket and walk us both towards the small floor to ceiling window of the living room. The fading sun dips behind the buildings in front of us, and the rain has started to pick up.

I sit down on the floor and pull Rafael down with me.

I cover us both with the blanket and lean my head against his shoulder.

We stay like this, the rush of cars driving past down the road and the wind howling outside filling the silence.

“I love this moment, Rafael,” I whisper into the quiet of the night, his body warming my heart, my soul, and my body.

“Out of everything I have done for you, you love a quiet evening in your apartment in front of your window the most?” he says, and I just simply smile.

“I loved all that, too, but I guess I needed someone to share my silence with.”

“I used to hate the loud rooms in my home growing up. I often preferred the quiet of my mum’s art studio,” Rafale says quietly.

I keep my ears perked. He almost never talks about his mother or his childhood.

It’s either he tells me everything or he doesn’t.

“Dakota often gave all her attention to Eiran and Khyros, so I felt alone, and for years I just felt so left out despite Dad and Mikko. But a mother’s love will always be something I craved.

“But there were days when Mikko saw something in my eyes, possibly the sadness or the heartbreak from witnessing a mother’s love and never knowing what it is like to be on the receiving end of it. He used to give me pieces of Mum, and that would bring tears to my eyes. Me, a guy who never dares to show his emotions to the world.” Rafael swallows.

“One time, he talked about the field of sunflowers behind our parents’ home where Dad visits day after day. Dakota couldn’t fill the void in his heart. She couldn’t love him the way my mum, Sierra, did. She couldn’t give him the support he needed. It pained me to see him lost in his memories of her, and Dakota not caring.”

Rafael’s arms wrap around my waist, and they tighten as if I am keeping him grounded to reality, to the present, and not the times when he felt a piece of himself missing.

“I wish… Sometimes I wish she were here to see how much we tried to keep ourselves together. We are all doing okay, but sometimes I see how we all miss Mum. Sometimes I think I feel her soul lingering and wandering around our home. I miss her a lot. Nothing ever made it better until you came waltzing into my life. It took me a while to realise just how much you are filling that void inside me.”

He turns to me, his eyes filled with emotions, an unspoken torrent of sorrow, hope, and something else I can’t quite place. It’s as if everything he’s been holding back has found an escape, spilling over in a flood that words could never contain.

He sucks in a soft breath, his breathing shaky as is his hand on my hip.

“I think this could be why Mikko married Liya. He needed someone, and she did, too. They got together because they understood each other so well, and now I realise exactly why he has been such a fool in love; why, out of all of us, he is the one who feels the most at ease. He found someone to share his pain, his struggles.” Rafael drops his head to my shoulder.

“I found that in you, Venezia. Thank you for being yourself. You’ve mended parts of my heart that you didn’t even know were broken, filled parts you weren’t aware were missing.” Another shuddering breath leaves him.

“Your mum and I both like sunflowers?” I whisper, trying to distract him, to help make his confession a little easier.

Rafael’s arms tighten around my waist, and he pulls me over to his lap, my knees on either side of his hips, hitting the wooden floor. He looks up at me, his hair a mess and a lazy look in his eyes that makes my heart pound.

“Yes, she used to love painting them, too. She named one for me without ever meeting me.”

A smile pulls at my lips. “She loved you way before you were born. She loved you enough to leave pieces of herself behind. She loved you, which is exactly why she was thinking about you, painting for you hoping to meet you not realising how much you would cherish it all,” I whisper, meeting his eyes.

“Do you feel her love seeping through every painting? Knowing with every stroke, she thought of you? She knew you would see it one day and know that she loved you?” I ask, running my hands softly through his hair.

Rafael hesitates, but he nods. His eyes carry so much doubt, but I can see it lessen with every word I say.

“Do you know your mother loved you, Rafael?”

“I do,” he whispers.

“Do you know she wanted you to be happy?”

“I do.” His eyes soften.

“Do you know that she would have wanted you to forgive her for not being here for you?”

“Yes,” he whispers, though the tightness of his voice betrays him. His eyes glisten with a sadness he can’t hide.

“Really?”

He nods, then my hands slide up his body until I hold his face.

“Now kiss me.”

He lifts his brows. “Are you ordering me around, Venezia?” He slowly leans forward.

“Yes, I am, Mr Gustav.” I tip his face up, and he lets me, hands flexing on my hips. “Kiss me and keep kissing me until your thoughts are completely consumed by my lips. Keep me locked in here until I lose my mind because of you, Rafael. Make me feel on top of the world to the point that your kisses feel like the biggest prize.” I nudge his nose against mine.

“I wouldn’t trade anything for this moment between us,” I continue.

Rafael’s eyes blaze with emotions, and he captures my lips into a slow, seductive kiss.

I hum and moan, kissing him like we have all the time in the world.

And the world fades away. The rush, the city noises, the horns, and conversations all quieten.

All that’s left is the rushing blood in my ears, my fast-paced heart, and the shaky hands that grasp at his hair.

Kissing Rafael is unlike anything else I have ever done. Kissing him makes me feel grounded. It brings me a sense of home, and it also makes me feel wanted. Like he truly wants me here, like he won’t leave me standing in the middle of nowhere, and won’t break his promises, despite his reputation.

I want to believe that when his lips capture my top one.

I want to trust him when he nips at my lower lip.

I want to crawl under skin, inside his ribs, and nestle in his heart when his hands slide up my body, pulling me closer to his chest.

Everything feels insignificant, like nothing else was ever as important as having Rafael here, turning soft and listening to me like this. Knowing I have this power over him makes me feel on top of the world indeed.

I trail my lips down his neck, kissing and sucking at different spots. His hands tighten to the point of bruising, but I take my time. I want to mark him. Make him mine in every possible way, even if we are short on time.

I’m too far gone. I’m a woman in love.

These hearts are foolish organs. Oh, how mighty they fly and how hard they fall.