Forbidden Knots (Shadow Duet #1)

6. SIX

SIX

Storm

I sat on the bed, the rain slowly falling, my eyes locked with the stranger next door as he made love to a girl I recognized from the beach earlier.

My breath quickened as I saw him looking at me, staring right through me. Outside my bedroom, I could hear loud knocks, like cabinets closing with such force that their only outcome was to break. My heart raced. My fingers moved to my lips, nails biting into them in distress.

I sat on the bed, my face buried in my knees as I watched him enjoy himself, my body shaking in fear.

This time, I didn't want to watch him because I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever seen. This time, I wanted him to watch me because I thought Shadow would come back. Someone was in this house haunting me. Something was going on, and I was too afraid to open the door and check if my grandma was okay.

Goosebumps still covered my skin from Shadow’s touch. He was so cold and dark, and I knew my mind was playing tricks, or maybe Sophie was right, and this house was the one haunting me.

Is he real? Is Shadow real?

I can't talk to my grandma. I can't tell her there was a stranger inside my bedroom. I can't worry her. I'm even embarrassed to admit that I was naked in front of a stranger and that I wanted both to see me like this. To take me. To make me feel something. But I did feel something. Fear.

I was afraid. Alone. All alone.

All eyes are on me.

Even when I close my eyes, I know someone is watching me.

All. The. Time. Always watching.

I placed my hands over my ears, shutting my eyes and screaming. The noise stopped. He stopped watching me.

Was it all just a bad dream? What is going on with me?

Wrapped in my robe, I tightened the knot around my waist and walked toward the door, leaning against it first to hear if anything was still out there. No one was there. It was silent.

Naively, I placed my hand on the door handle and unlocked it. As I turned my head up, I was face-to-face with my grandma.

"Rose, Rose , Rose," she repeated, her eyes lost in mine. I could see my reflection in them.

"Grandma," I whispered, placing my hands on her shoulders.

"Rose, you came back!" she whispered, her smile widening, making her crooked teeth stand out.

"Rose, Rose , Rose," she repeated, her eyes darker than they were before, her hands lifting towards my neck.

"You are scaring me," I whispered, but her hands tightened around my neck.

"Rose, Rose , Rose," her voice now a pitch higher, "you ran away," she cried, letting me go. Suddenly she stepped back, and I stepped back as well, my hand on my neck, trying to gasp for air.

She screamed, "He is coming, he is coming," and started to walk faster until she reached the cabinet in the kitchen.

Looking at me, she began opening and closing the cabinet door repeatedly, louder, and louder.

"Rose, Rose, Rose," she chanted, closing the door so hard that I noticed the walls starting to crack behind her.

I stepped back into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I locked the door twice, my heart pounding, and my body shaking. I walked inside, going back to the window. That window was now my escape, a way to distance myself from reality, far away from this nightmare I was facing. Tears streamed down my face, my mouth dry from gasps for air. I sat on the bed, sobbing, shaking.

I looked again through the window, trying to find the stranger. I promised myself that if I saw him, I would shout for help. But he was not there. She was warming him by his side of the bed.

I lay down, tears still falling from helplessness, and pulled the sheet over my head. I closed my eyes, repeating repeatedly, "This isn't real, this isn't real."

The sound of seagulls woke me up, and one of them landed on my windowsill, its call jolting me awake.

I pulled the sheet off and shouted at it, "Get lost!" As I got out of bed, I waved my hands toward the bird, making it fly away.

Just as I was about to close the shutters, I noticed the girl from yesterday on the neighbor’s balcony. She looked at me, trying to recognize me. But at that moment, something took over—maybe it was anger, maybe it was the sleepless night, or maybe a dash of jealousy—and I slammed the shutters, causing old paint to flake off.

I turned my back, and I could hear her piercing laugh growing louder and louder. Then I saw her with him. They were talking.

And it hit me: I was jealous that she had a good night’s sleep while I was the one standing here with unbrushed hair, bad breath, and dark circles under my eyes, questioning my sanity or, even worse, my reality.

I was mad at myself for limiting myself in everything. I used to be this fearless person who could do the best for herself, who had confidence, and now I don’t even recognize myself. Like I am not even half of who I was before. A tear fell, remembering the day I thought I lost my mom. Even though I lost her long ago, I thought I had lost her forever, and that broke me. Along with other things, thinking of losing her was something that awakened this broken version of myself. And now, this Shadow is trying to break me even more.

It was like I was trying to piece together broken parts of myself over and over again, but there was no glue strong enough to hold me together.

I turned around, dug inside my closet, pulled on shorts, and wiped my tears just before pulling a black oversized T-shirt over my head. I tied my hair in a bun and slipped into my old Converse shoes .

"Pull yourself together," I told myself, softly slapping my cheeks as I applied concealer under my eyes.

And then I slowly walked towards the door, leaning my head against it, hearing the soft clinks of plates at the table. I slowly opened the door.

"Good morning, bambina ," Grandma said, pouring coffee into two cups.

I walked towards her, trying to scan her eyes. As I saw they were again light green, I pulled out a chair and sat down, instantly asking, "Who is Rose?"

She froze, her smile fading into a line of concern.

"Rose?" she questioned, sitting down. Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"You don't remember?" I asked her, taking a cup from her. "I do," I said. "The whole night I was afraid. I had to sleep with locked doors."

"You did?" she asked, placing her hands on her head, and pulling down her face. Then she placed her hand on mine.

"You scared me," I whispered. "What's going on?"

"I thought it wasn't happening again," she said, squeezing my hand.

"What?" I interrupted her quickly.

"Sometimes I sleepwalk," she confessed. "It used to happen all the time, and the next morning I would remember, but I don't remember anymore, so I thought it wasn't happening again."

"I don't want to trouble you," she said, holding both my hands.

"It's fine," I said. "For a moment, I thought you were possessed or something." I chuckled nervously.

" Mi dispiace, tesoro, " she said, gliding her hand across my cheek. "I should've told you before."

I shook my head. "You were mentioning the name Rose a lot."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she stood up. "I will tell you about her," she said, "but not now, bambina ." She continued as she walked towards the living room, stepping out onto the balcony to light a cigarette. Her hand shook as she lit it, the sleeve of her denim shirt falling to her wrist.

I simply nodded and finished my coffee. I tilted my head to the right, noticing the cabinet door barely holding on and a crack in the wall wider than it was last night.

I knew everyone had secrets, something from their past they were trying to hide, but somehow this place, with all the people in it, felt like a curse and everyone had yet to wake up.

I stood up and walked toward the door, waving goodbye to my grandmother as she was too shaken to speak any more words. As I walked downstairs, I took my bag with a towel and opened the closet to take an old tent in case it rained.

As I stepped outside, I noticed Sophie already waiting. She wore an orange bucket hat that matched her orange crocs. She had dark circles under her eyes, and as soon as I saw her, I chuckled, "You have no idea."

She smiled at me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "Did your brother fuck some chick next door as well?"

" EW , worse," I said, laughing, "but you win."