Forbidden Knots (Shadow Duet #1)

11. ELEVEN

ELEVEN

Shadow

I stood silently behind the door, listening like a mouse, my face pressed close to the opening to hear if she would say anything about me, about the Shadow. But all I heard was my sister bragging about the boy I wanted to smash with my fists. She seemed happy, happier than she'd been in a long time, and as she told Thalia she felt more alive than ever, I felt a strange relief. I wanted the same thing she had, with Thalia, my little Storm.

As Thalia talked, I noticed how gentle and tired she was. I knew she hadn’t slept the whole night, just like I hadn’t. I had been watching over her, trying to protect her from Lotta. And as much as I wanted Lotta gone, I knew if we ever ended up together, Thalia would never forgive me. I couldn’t do that to her. I wanted her to be happy, but more than anything, I wanted her to be mine. In this sick possessiveness, I couldn’t let her be happier with anyone but me.

I waited for her to open up to Sophie, to hear what was troubling her so I could somehow shield her from her troubles. All she said was that her biggest trouble was me.

"Wait, you can't be serious?" Sophie said, "You have a fucking stalker?"

"Shhh," Thalia hushed her. "Please don’t tell anyone."

"Are you crazy? You should tell everyone, go to the fucking police, Thalia. We all know how stalking ends..." Sophie said, making my heart race. I knew myself, and I knew I could never harm my Storm.

"...with murder ," she continued.

"Maybe I’m imagining it, maybe he was never there..." Thalia said, blushing. "I mean, could it be?"

Sophie was silent, her brow raised, her mouth open. I knew that look; she gave it to me every time she thought I was acting crazy. But I needed her not to encourage Thalia to go to the police. I couldn’t stand being apart from her. I needed her scent, her peace. So, just before Sophie could continue, I burst through the door, marching inside. They both stared at me like I was from another planet. I walked toward them and sat on the sofa across from them, my hands spread across the back of the sofa.

"What?" I asked, looking at them.

"Uh, excuse me?" Sophie said, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

"You are excused," I said, a smile spreading across my face.

"You good?" I nodded to Thalia, then looked at Sophie.

"No, some idiot is stalking her, and she can’t sleep for days," Sophie started, but then Thalia interrupted her.

"Sophie!" Thalia shook her head dismissively.

"Do you know him?" I asked, my eyes squinting.

"I think I do. I recognized his voice," she said, turning to Sophie.

Instantly, my throat tightened, and I started to cough like I was choking on her words. They both looked at me confused, but clearing my throat, I lowered my tone, saying, "Continue..."

"I mean, deep down I know him, but I don’t know who he is, you know what I mean?" Thalia said.

"No," Sophie said, shaking her head. "Maybe you should stay here for a night?"

As she said it, my throat tightened even more, making me cough. "Excuse me."

"Is he okay?" I heard Thalia whispering to Sophie, but she just shrugged her shoulders. I knew I had to get out of this situation, so I came back and said, "She should take my room. I’ll go to Chiara's tonight," I lied.

"Deal," Sophie shouted, "YAY!"

I forced a smile, masking the turmoil inside me.

"Great. I'll go pack a few things," I said, standing up and heading towards the stairs.

I never planned to go to Chiara's. I planned to stay here and be with Thalia all night. I envisioned a scene where I’d hold my palm over her mouth, touch her, and slip my fingers inside her as she gasped for air. I wanted to show her that she shouldn’t be afraid but rather enjoy my company as much as I enjoyed hers.

Soft knocks interrupted my thoughts, and Thalia entered slowly, saying, "Uh, shall I come back?"

"No," I said, my back still turned. "I was just leaving anyway."

"Okay," she said, coming inside and sitting at the edge of the bed, her eyes fixed on the floor.

I remained silent for a moment, fighting the urge to sit next to her. But I couldn't resist. I walked over and sat just an inch away from her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, lifting her chin with my hand.

"No, it’s okay. It’s a long story anyway," she said, avoiding my gaze.

"I have time," I said, trying to get her to open up. I wanted to help her, not just as the Shadow who always watched over her but as Tristan.

"Have you ever fallen for someone you don’t know?" she asked, her voice so quiet I almost missed it.

It made me chuckle. "Just once," I confessed.

"Is it a sick thing? I mean, wanting that person so much, but then you don’t know a thing about them," she asked.

"Love is a sick thing, yet it cures the most broken mind and makes it whole again," I said, meeting her eyes. "Isn’t it beautiful?"

"It can be ugly too," she said, and I knew that was true as well. But with her, I wanted it to be the most wonderful thing, even if it broke us both. I needed to make her believe that too.

"I have to go," I said, standing up. "I changed the sheets," I added with a chuckle. "Have a good night."

"Night," she said, and as I left the room, I noticed she was already lying down. As much as I wanted her to sleep, I needed her to be awake as well.

I sneaked out through the hallway to the front door, but just as I was about to open it, Thalia came out of the bedroom.

"Tristan, can you stay?" she asked.

I turned to her, our eyes meeting. She looked scared, her face almost pale. As I stared at her, I knew tonight I wouldn’t be the Shadow. I would just be Tristan, her neighbor, and her friend’s brother. Maybe this way, I could get to know her better.

With a smile, I walked back, slowly approaching her. I placed my hand on the door frame, and as it closed, her shoulders jumped in fright. But then she gasped and blushed, stepping back, leaving a fresh scent of lime and basil, one of those fresh perfumes women wear during summer. Hers reminded me of this place, of summer.

I chuckled, "So you want me to stay, huh?"

She just nodded, moving towards the balcony.

"Where will I sleep then?" I asked, coming closer. Just then, Sophie walked in, banging the door behind her. She answered with an evil smile as if she knew Thalia was a forbidden fruit for me.

"Couch," she said.

Thalia smiled but turned away, looking through the window. I noticed her smile fade, replaced by a sad look in her eyes as she turned back to us.

"You can stay here. Maybe I should just go home..." Thalia started.

"Are you serious?" Sophie interjected. "Do you have a death wish or something?"

"No, I just want to look him in the eyes and tell him to leave me alone," Thalia said. "I’m usually not like this. It’s like he’s breaking something in me, making me lose myself."

Sophie walked over to her, squeezing her cheeks with both hands. "No one is worth your peace."

Watching them, I sat down on the bed and then collapsed on the changed sheets. The fresh scent of her perfume lingered, intoxicating me. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I wanted to break her—in all my selfishness, I wanted to. I wanted to shatter her so she would trust only me. I knew this worked; I had done it so many times before. Then I would leave them, and they would run after me. They looked at me like some god, but I was just a selfish, narcissistic bastard who craved attention and love.

But looking at Thalia, falling for Shadow, I realized I was the one who would fall this time. She was like a poison seeping under my skin, breaking me. She was an addiction I wasn't ready to give up, and she was becoming the only woman I might ever love. I couldn't let her go. I would never let her go.

"Thalia, you don’t have to leave," I said, sitting up. "You need to stay here where it’s safe."