Forbidden Knots (Shadow Duet #1)

13. THIRTEEN

THIRTEEN

Storm

T he morning sun seeped through the shutters, casting a soft glow on my face. The morning was just at the doorstep, but I didn't want to leave this bed. I felt like I was living in the shadow of my old self, merely a shell of who I used to be. I pulled the sheet over my face and shut my eyes, trying to fall back asleep, but Sophie chimed in, opening the shutters wide.

"Good morning," she said, removing the sheet from my head. "How did you sleep?"

"Good," I murmured, still half-asleep.

She came close and whispered, "I slept with Christian."

My eyes flew open as I sat up, trying to recall if she had mentioned he would be here. The only thing that came to mind was the anger in the Shadow's eyes as he heard them walk away.

"I want to do it all over again," she said, her face brightening with a smile. "It was amazing."

I looked at her, her words becoming background noise around me.

"I'm happy for you," I said with a fake smile, collapsing back onto the bed.

"He invited me to the carnival. I think you should come as well," she started. "I told him I want to have sex while wearing a mask," she giggled. "I feel like I’m possessed," she let out a breath.

"Shadow was here last night," I whispered. "He touched me."

"What?" she whispered back, her tone serious. "You should go to the police and report it."

"What would they do? I don’t even know who he is," I said, trying to brush off the idea. "Besides, maybe then I’ll end up dead."

"I still think about it," she confessed. "Even last night, I was thinking, would Christian care if I did it? Would he cry?"

I turned towards her, grabbing her hand. "Yes," I said firmly. "I would too." A tear slipped down my cheek.

"How can you even say that?" I choked on my own words. "I know you think it will pass, but those thoughts will stick with you no matter how life turns into a brighter light."

She looked at me, her eyes meeting mine.

"Don’t you dare," I whispered, wiping her tears. "When people leave, they leave a hole in your heart. You try to fill it with thoughts of something better, but then you realize what you've lost, and it moves in this circle repeatedly. Don’t do it, Sophie. You can’t."

"I might," she said, her words filtering through her tears. "Even if the world is a happy place now, I still don’t belong."

"No one does," I shouted, standing up, and slapping my thighs with my hands. "No one belongs anywhere, but we can still choose to make a better life."

"My mom thought I’d be better off without her, but she made my life more miserable after she tried to do it. And if you do it, Sophie, even if you try, you will make my life hell. And I can’t live in hell without you." I said, my voice breaking. Her eyes filled with tears.

"I’m sorry," she sobbed. "I’m so, so sorry."

I spread my arms, and Sophie walked right into them. I held her so close, not wanting to let her go. She was the only real thing I had in my life right now, and I couldn't lose her. I had many friends, but no one stuck around when my life turned upside down. In this chaos, I met Sophie, and even though we were both broken in our darkness, we held onto each other to survive. Life was a bit better, just a little, because of her.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I need you to tell me 'I suck' every time I want to die."

"Well, you suck!" I said, smiling.

She chuckled. "We both do," she said.

As we laughed at one of the most serious conversations we had since our fight, Tristan walked in. His eyes scanned us before he clapped his hands and asked, "What did I miss?"

His cologne filled the room with a woody musk, and his face was bright. It made me wonder if he had seen Chiara last night.

Was she the one who put a smile on his face, or did he just have a good night's sleep?

I wanted to ask him so badly, but every time I tried, I reminded myself he was forbidden. Like a knot I couldn't untangle, he stuck there, making me believe something could happen, but it wouldn't or shouldn't. It drove me crazy, and I wasn't ready to fall into that trap.

"So?" he asked again.

"Just sharing our last two brain cells with each other," Sophie said. "We laughed to tears."

I nodded, smiling. I knew she didn't want to worry him. "I should go," I said.

"No, stay for breakfast," Sophie insisted. "I'll make pancakes."

"I told Grandma I'd be home by nine, but you can always bring pancakes to the cliffs," I said, winking at her.

"Deal," she said, spitting into her palm and holding out her hand.

"That's gross," I said, pointing to her palm.

"I agree," Tristan said, walking out.

As soon as he was gone, I spit in my palm and slapped hers. We both said, "EWWW" before chuckling.

Grandma was still sleeping, but she had left the front door open so I could come in. I sneaked my way inside the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind me. The thought of whether she left the door open every night for anyone to come in or just for me sent chills down my spine. I didn’t want to dwell on it too much, as it would make me even more restless each night.

My bed was still made, and as I approached it, I noticed a small envelope with "Storm" written on it and a small lightning bolt drawn on the front. On top of it was a branch of oleander flower.

"Shadow," I whispered, my blood freezing in place. I opened the envelope and found a Polaroid picture of my bare chest inside.

I gasped, and the Polaroid slipped from my fingers, falling to the floor. I heard footsteps behind me and quickly stepped on it so Grandma wouldn’t see.

" Buongiorno, bambina ," she said cheerfully. "How did you sleep?"

"Very well," I chuckled nervously. "No one is sleepwalking in that house," I mumbled.

"And the stalker?" she asked, her tone casual but her eyes searching.

"Maybe it was all in my imagination," I said, forcing a smile.

I didn’t know why I lied. Why was I protecting him? But deep in my gut, I felt something was wrong with Grandma, and I couldn’t trust her with this. As I tilted my head, she came closer, her hands on my cheek.

"What happened?" she asked, looking at my neck.

This question, her not remembering, her touch—all of it sent mixed signals that made my gut churn. I needed love from my family, but that need could sometimes destroy you. Even those who love you the most can hurt you the most, and I couldn't let her do that. I had the Shadow on my back, and I had a Storm inside me fighting for who I was. So, all I could do was lie. "I fell, remember?"

She looked at me, puzzled. Her eyes showed she knew I was lying, but I didn’t know if she was remembering that she had caused those bruises or if she thought someone else did. Either way, I was covering it all up and brushing it under the rug because I craved some normalcy in my life.

Ever since I arrived, I had been attacked, insulted, stalked, and now my grandmother was trying to murder me. And all that kept coming to mind was that all of this—her, my mom, me—might have something to do with one person who was no longer here: Rose.

As she walked out of the room, I quickly picked up the photo and tore it to pieces. I hated feeling so vulnerable in front of him, like I needed him for just a thrill, to feel alive.