Forbidden Knots (Shadow Duet #1)

20. TWENTY

TWENTY

Storm

I had never seen him sleep before. He was always the one watching me, and now, I found myself watching him. His face, usually so guarded, was relaxed in his sleep. I couldn't fathom why someone like him would be interested in someone like me. I never saw myself as special, just adept at pretending.

Gently, I slipped from his embrace and stood, dragging the sheet with me. My fingers traced the cool paint of the shutters as I peered through them, watching the tranquil street below. Not a living soul was out there; not a sound disturbed the night. I closed my eyes, gripping the wood as if it were my lifeline. Fragile, yet strong.

My mind wandered to Sophie. Her actions were driven by fear—fear that I would take Tristan from her, just as life had taken her parents. A part of me despised myself for it, but another part was so selfish that I didn't care. I wanted him. All of him. And now that I had him, I found myself wanting even more.

To the left, a small house with a garden came into view. It seemed unfamiliar as if I had never passed that side of the city. Everything seemed to pull me towards the sea, towards the port, as if my mind and body were seeking an anchorage. To the right, a hill loomed, thunder rumbling in the distance. The darkness seemed to draw me in, a shadowy magnet. I looked back at the bed where Tristan slept peacefully, his quiet sighs were a soothing rhapsody for my restless heart. Turning again, I noticed a woman in a light blue dress moving through the forest, her steps unsteady. She limped towards the edge of the city, curls bouncing behind her shoulders.

"Sophie," I whispered, realizing this might be my cue to leave. I moved away from the window but kept watching her. Instead of heading for the front door, she continued further down the street.

Rubbing my tired eyes, I tried to grasp reality. But this was real; she was there, dragging herself towards the end of the city. My thoughts raced, my heart pounding so hard I feared it would wake Tristan. I wanted to see what drove her, and why her blows hurt the most.

Tiptoeing to the bed, I grabbed his black t-shirt hanging at the foot and pulled it over my head. Still damp, I sneaked out of the room, checking each step to see if he had woken, if he was following me. But his contented snores reassured me that he was still asleep.

Opening the front door, I glanced left and right to ensure no one else was on the street. Seeing only shadows, I closed the door and quickened my pace, following Sophie into the descending fog.

I walked down an unfamiliar street, my heart thundering in my chest. Each step brought me closer to Sophie, a voice inside me urging me to catch her and bring her home. My stomach churned, and a growing sense of wrongness gnawing at me. But I pressed on, ignoring any mental red flags.

Barefoot, I reached the sandy path leading to the forest. The sound of crickets and the scent of pine drew me into the darkness. The forest was a green light for danger, yet I moved forward, pulled by an unseen force. I hated the darkness's grip, how it magnetized me until I was sinking, unable to move on.

I knew Shadow would always pull me back, but this time, he wasn't there. This time, he didn't know where I was.

Leaning against the bark of an oak tree, I watched as Sophie dropped to her knees, her screams piercing the night. "I am here, damn you, I am here," she cried, her sobs tugging at my heart. I covered my mouth, tears streaming as I watched her in silence.

A distant hum grew louder—footsteps. An unfamiliar voice shouted at her, "Shut the fuck up."

A slap echoed through the forest, her body hitting the ground. "No," she screamed, "No."

My breath quickened, nostrils flaring as I tried to stifle my panic.

Sophie didn't deserve this.

Sophie would be fine.

I repeated the mantra in my head, crawling on the ground, searching for a way out to get Tristan. I needed to tell him Sophie needed help.

On my feet, I ran, my soles aching from the rough forest floor. I ran, but there was no escape. The woods were a maze, each turn leading me back to the start.

I was running in circles, trapped in the labyrinthine darkness. My breaths came in ragged gasps as I realized the depth of the woods.

I was lost, and this time, there was no Shadow to pull me out.

I was spinning, I was turning back, but I continued to walk step by step until I saw lights, but they weren't the lights of the town. It was a tent with red and white stripes. Music played, a discordant symphony of sinister delight that set my skin crawling. It was the sound of an old, cracked calliope, wheezing out a jarring tune that danced along the edge of madness.

I hid behind a tree, my eyes escaping me and I saw Chiara with a group of three men. They were laughing, and drinking, while one of them, the taller one, was spitting fire from his mouth. He wore a black and white shirt, his face painted with black paint hiding an awful scar at the corners of his lips.

She kissed him, climbing on top of him, his blonde hair tangling under her fingers. "Rio, we should stop," I read from her lips.

My eyes were not believing what I saw. It felt like I wanted to see it like I was searching for bits and pieces of excuses for my relationship with Tristan. Like a sense of reason was escaping me, and in the end, betraying me.

I stepped on a branch, and she heard me. Walking towards me, she shouted, "Who the fuck is there?"

I started running, she saw me, and she started running after me. "Thalia, you bitch, come back!"

My heart pumping, my breath quickening, I was faster than I ever was. The melody behind me started to break, offering silence just for a moment before continuing again. It felt like the pipes of those instruments mimicked human screams, and my blood ran instantly cold.

I knelt, hiding behind a rock, her feet next to me, but she didn't continue. That blonde guy followed her, begging her to stay, but just the sound of a loud slap hit his face, and she walked away, and he stayed.

I felt for him. I felt that she left him heartbroken, just as I left Tristan in bed to be awakened all by himself. And then, as soon as I heard his footsteps walking away, I ran. I ran as fast as I could all the way back. I ran because I didn't want him to be alone. I didn't want him to feel like I did for my whole life.

Does this mean?!

I fell for him.

Deeply.

Completely.

Wholly.

For him. For Shadow. For his darkness and his demons.

I ran and ran, tears falling down my cheeks like raindrops from the sky, leaving a trail behind me. My feet were already all scratched, full of sand and thorns, but I didn't feel anything. My body was already numb to all the bruises; this was just another one among many. And I just wanted to go to him so he could cure me, so he could heal my wounds as he did before. I wanted to be at peace with him. At home.

But my feet were betraying me. I fell. His black shirt is now full of branches, and...

"What?" I whispered, "Is this?" I screamed.

My hands were covered with blood. I knelt down, and as I tilted my head up, a pale face, scratched, with her eyes losing color, laid Sophie, her soul leaving the body.

I screamed again.

I was crawling until I hit the oak tree.

I screamed again.

Her blood was on my hands, and she was all alone lying there, pines and branches covering her body. Her wrists were cut with a piece of glass she held, and her face was scratched as if she wanted to leave with a picture that wasn't her.

"Sophie," I whispered, my heart escaping me.

"Sophie," I said slowly, crawling back to her. "Wake up," I said, my voice barely audible.

More footsteps approached, and I stood up as quickly as possible and ran. I ran, leaving her there. She had finally done it. She killed herself.

She had thought about doing it all those times, and yet again I didn't read the signs

I cried, my gut twisting in knots inside me. I imagined how Tristan would be crushed, how he wouldn't want to see me again.

With bloody hands, I tried to rub my eyes.

"This is a dream," I repeated, "This is a dream."

Again, that circus melody echoed in the back of my mind, creating a madness of its kind.

I ran again, my steps quicker and quicker, until I saw lights again. This time, they were the lights of the city. I ran faster now, not even checking his window.

I just ran to Grandma's house. I needed to escape. I knew he wouldn't forgive me for leaving her there.

What if she wasn't dead? What if I killed her by leaving her?

The door was unlocked. I entered and closed it behind me. My body slid down to the cold tile floor.

"Rose?" Grandma called out, "Rose?" she asked again.

She stood at the topof the stairs, her eyes lifeless, her crooked teeth smiling at me. She wore her long white dress. Her old skin reminded me of the oak tree, and as she made her way towards me, it was like she was reliving all of it.

I stared at the black spot of mold on the ceiling. She came closer to me, taking my hand, my bloody hand staining her white dress. "Rose, what did you do now?" she asked.

I was mute. I couldn't speak. I didn't resist. I was like a broken doll, and I let my body be led by her.

She took me under her arm, helping me get up. "You've been a bad, bad girl, Rose," she whispered. "We have to hide."

My mind was a blank page. My eyes were losing their sight as I followed her. She led me to the basement. Each step was easier now. It was like someone had deleted my entire life, my pages of existence, and all I could do was hide. Pretend I never existed. Pretend I wasn't truly here.

It's been two weeks, three hours, and six minutes since I met Sophie. It's been that long since I laughed, cried, and thought that life was moving in a better direction. But now it's been twenty-three minutes and fifty-two seconds since all of that died with her.

Sophie died. She left. My soul left with her, and my body was slowly dying without her.

I lost a friend a long time ago, with the first blow of the whip, but now I lost hope. I thought that maybe after tonight, after I turned to Tristan, he would make everything better. Force us to be normal again. But that hope died too. Shadow will never forgive me, and Tristan will hate me. I've become nobody. Just another thunder in the sky.

Grandma sat me down on a filthy old mattress that was next to the old brick wall. She gave me a bucket with warm water and a filthy old cloth.

"No one will know," she said. "No one will know, Rose."

I was sitting down. The moonlight now on my body showed trails of blood, bruises, and sweat. But I couldn’t move. She walked away, closing the door behind her. And I lay down on that filthy mattress, holding my body in a fetal position.

My eyes slowly shut down.