Forbidden Obsessions (Deviant Desires of Bennington University #2)

Chapter Two

Olivia

I t’s been a fucking week. I can’t say that I’m any less mad, and that pisses me off more. I know it’s not Tomas’ fault. His hands are tied. Even my father told me that when I marched my ass to his office unannounced last week, like the spoiled little dean’s daughter that most people think I am. Might as well play the part, right?

“What the fuck do I even do, Mia?” I groan between bites of pizza. She twirls her blond strands around her index finger, a sure sign that she’s lost in thought. Mia and I had become fast friends after becoming roommates last semester. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have had the confidence to pursue Tomas. My head was so fucked from Julian.

Judging by my reaction to Vanessa’s presence, it still is. Tomas has never given me a reason not to trust him. In the grand scheme of things, six months isn’t a long time. Normally, he doesn’t so much as look in the same direction as another woman. He said it wasn’t what it looked like, so I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I know I’m a masochist, but part of me wonders if I’m just begging for heartbreak.

“What do you know about her?” Mia asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Nothing. Just that she blackmailed Tomas by secretly recording herself giving him a blowjob, thus getting him fired. Oh, and she’s Nathan’s stepsister.”

Mia’s jaw falls open. “What? How the fuck did you find that out?”

“Jonathan introduced her to Tomas. No news on Nathan yet. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not,” I say with a sigh.

“No news is good news,” Mia shrugs. She takes a small sip of celery juice and gives me a pained look.

I scoff. “Says the girl who does not have a raging anxiety disorder. It will drive me fucking crazy knowing she’s there, Mia. Even more so knowing she’s a Byrne. What if this is a ploy?”

“You know that saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer?” she offers.

“I know. It’s all just so fucking exhausting.” I slump against the pillow. Honestly, I could lie down right here and fall asleep for five hours.

There aren’t enough hours in the day to worry about this. Between homework, the gym, my family, Tomas, worrying about Mia and Lex, and Nathan showing up like a murderous prick to kill everyone I love, it’s safe to say I have enough on my plate. Lately, a fresh sense of dread has seeped into my bones. It was here even before Vanessa turned up. Maybe it’s residual trauma from Tomas getting stabbed? I don’t fucking know, but I’m sick of it.

In addition to all that bullshit, now that Vanessa is here, I can’t help but worry that she’s going to throw herself all over him. What if she wears him down and he finally caves? I know it’s my anxiety being a little bitch, deciding how the story is going to go before it’s even been drafted. I know Tomas loves me, but it’s like my insecurities, reminders of me at my lowest, are all right in front of me.

“Do you trust him?” Mia asks. It’s a complicated question, with an even more complicated answer. Can I? Yes is on the tip of my tongue, but something is holding me back. I swallow around the lump and nod.

“You’re sure?” When she asks again, I falter. I do and I don’t. Mia knows what I’m thinking. She always does.

“My doubt isn’t his fault, Mia. It’s a product of my shitty ex.”

“I know, babe. Give him some credit, though. Tomas isn’t a little fuck boy like Julian. Don’t forget that I’ve been with you two the whole time. I see the way Tomas looks at you. He worships the fucking ground you walk on. He’d do anything for you. Hell, he almost died for you. I know you feel the same about him, and you can’t deny it. You’ve been hesitant because you’re scared to get hurt again, but Tomas deserves the same courtesy. Get your big girl panties on and figure out how to support him. He needs you,” Mia says emphatically.

Considering this is coming from Mia, who threatened Tomas early into our relationship, I should heed the advice.

The brawl between Tomas and Nathan put things into perspective for me. Julian would never come to my defense the way Tomas did. Julian would never encourage me or celebrate me the way Tomas does. I gave Julian so many opportunities to do so and the benefit of the doubt when he didn’t. I grew tired of making excuses for people who said they wanted to be in my life, then didn’t act like it.

Tomas showers me with love, attention, and praise. He says he wants to be here, and he acts like it, too.

“We’ll be okay, but you know what won’t?” I sigh. Mia quips a brow. “My organic chemistry grade, if I don’t get that together, too.”

Mia raises her brows before gingerly sipping her celery juice. “Don’t give me that look when you’re drinking that vile creation.” I gesture to her glass.

“It’s a shame you don’t live with a ridiculously hot professor who likes depraved games and teaches science, of all things. I can think of like fifty games you can play to make your study sessions extremely effective. Also, the celery juice isn’t… Okay, it is that bad. It’s healthy, though,” Mia counters before draining the rest of the glass. She follows it up with a series of dry heaves.

“An orgasm for every correct answer. He’d basically turn me into Pavlov’s Dog for orgasms and organic chem.” Definitely not a bad thought, save for the tense stalemate Tomas and I are currently in.

“You’re right. I need to pull my head out of my ass and apologize. I don’t know what to say, though. Also, you should consider a career in therapy.”

“Tell him the truth. You’re scared because you’re jealous and worried.” I can’t imagine that will bode well. Tomas is going to have one takeaway from that: I don’t trust you. Before I can respond, the front door swings open.

Matt, in all of his linebacker glory, barrels through the door and sets a paper takeout bag on the counter. “Oh, I see it's a double trouble kind-of night,” Matt calls from the kitchen, not exactly warmly. He opens and slams the cabinets so loudly, I wince. I love my friends and this apartment, but I’ve become fond of the quiet at Tomas’ house.

“It is. Someone’s gotta get through to this girl that celery juice won’t cut it. I’m surprised I didn’t walk in on you two fucking like usual.” Mia shoots me a grim expression. Matt grips the countertop so tightly, I think he may rip the granite right off of the cabinets. “Hey, I was only joking. There’s no harm in drinking it, if that’s your prerogative,” I add, trying to defuse the sudden and unusual tension in the room.

I can’t tell from what, but from the look on Matt’s face, there is trouble brewing between the two of them. Matt looks at me sternly, trying to tell me to shut the fuck up.

“Sorry,” I mouth to him, hoping to avoid Mia’s glare.

I knew Mia had stopped drinking in the last month, citing too much of a co-dependency on wine. Is the issue the alcohol or the dieting? Matt decides to join us in the living room. He sits on the black suede ottoman, which is comically too small for his massive frame. Holy hell. I think he’s managed to put on more muscle since the last time I saw him. He balances his plate on his lap.

“Are you going home or staying here tonight?” Matt asks through a mouthful of chicken and broccoli. It’s not the first time anyone has referred to Tomas’ house as my home. Despite my misdirected anger, I shouldn’t be second guessing that it kind of is. I mean, this is where our relationship is heading, right? Most of my belongings are there. As innocent as it was, trying to answer his question shouldn’t be tripping me up as much as it is.

“I was going to stay here. Is that a problem?” I say as the silence lingers. Maybe I should reconsider, since I’m suddenly feeling like a stranger. Matt says ‘no’ at the same time that Mia says ‘yes’. Both of our gazes snap to Mia.

“What?” she cries, accosted. “You need to talk to him, Olivia. Avoidance is going to make this worse. Don’t let that pretty little brain convince you otherwise.” She’s right and we both know it.

“Okay, mom,” I bite out before peeling myself off of the couch. Mia grabs the fluffy, white throw pillow next to her and lobs it at me. Matt glares at both of us as the pillow lands directly on his plate.

“Oh, you are going to pay for that later, Mia. Just not on my bed, please.” I place my hands together in prayer. Mia doesn’t even look in Matt’s direction, but Matt is shooting daggers at her.

Okay. The vibes are definitely off. I make a mental note to text Mia about this when I get to Tomas’.

“Alright, I’m going. Love ya, bitch. Bye, Matt.”

Mia springs up as I make my way to the door. “I’ll walk you,” she says, slipping into a pair of white sneakers. It seems like Tomas and I aren’t the only ones who have trouble brewing in paradise. Surprisingly, this is the first time I’ve witnessed, let alone sensed, any animosity between the pair of them. Not that their relationship hasn’t been a unique, wild ride. Frankly, most of the time, their story is a romance novel unfolding before my eyes.

To the public, they’re a happy couple in love. Beaming smiles, tender kisses, and adoring stolen glances, all at the perfect moments. Maybe, at one point, it was an act. It’s definitely not pretend for Matt. It doesn’t seem to be for Mia, either. Neither of them has gotten the memo, though. Or at least, if they did, neither of them has been brave enough to admit it to the other.

The gray sky threatens a downpour as I reach my car. The breeze is warm, and the air is damp. Fitting weather for the storm that I suspect is waiting for me when I get home.

Home. I’ve been splitting my time between the apartment and Tomas’ house. As soon as Matt said it, I couldn’t help but try the idea on. Rolling over to find those brown eyes, as rich as a glass of bourbon, peering back at me. Tomas handing me a cup of coffee. My legs draped over him, tucked tight underneath a blanket, reading together on the couch. His body, as solid as a rock, tucked against me tight, making me feel safe.

Those are the quiet, mundane moments I share with him when I’m there. Those are also the moments I don’t want to live without. People say I’m young and that I should explore other people, see other places, and experience the world. Deep down, I think I’ve known since the hospital that I don’t want to do any of that without him at my side.

“Don’t hate me,” I squeak out nervously.

“Yes?” Mia asks, raising a brow.

“I think I want to move in with Tomas full-time.”

Her expression falters momentarily, then recovers. “That’s great, Liv. A big step, but it makes sense for the two of you,” she says.

Is it a rash decision? Maybe.

Will Tomas be upset? Truthfully, I don’t know.

Even though I can tell Mia is disappointed, I’m excited as hell to tell Tomas.

I race home, rehearsing what I’m going to say to Tomas. The driveway is empty. So much for now or never, I think. Annoyed, I grab my key and turn the lock, greeted by an empty house.

I set my things down on the marble counter and move to the sink. There’s a few plates in the sink from breakfast. I’m not going to eat without him and he’ll probably be back soon, so I might as well clean up.

It only takes a few minutes of rinsing and loading the dishwasher before dishes are finished, leaving me with erratic thoughts of Vanessa’s red lips wrapped around Tomas’ cock. He’s not with her right now, Olivia. Knock it off.

The idea pops in my head suddenly. With a scowl, I move to the living room, and pull out my tablet. Once the browser opens, I type in their names and ‘blowjob video’ into the search bar. To my horror, a link pops up immediately. My fingers shake as I tap the trackpad, and the video immediately opens.

The thumbnail shows Vanessa on her knees, blood-red lipstick smeared down her chin, right along with Tomas’ cum. I feel queasy as I click the ‘play’ button and the video starts. They’re clearly in his office. Tomas backs into the office as Vanessa pushes him against the wall. She’s in a short, floral dress that Tomas eyes lustily.

She drops to her knees, rocking back on her heels as she pulls out his cock. Vanessa doesn’t hesitate to take him in her mouth, gagging on his girth. Tomas tips his head back, and my cheeks blaze as the wetness pools between my thighs. I reach my hand in the lacy waistband of my panties, immediately sighing in relief as my fingers rub my clit.

He grips her hair tightly, a chunk breaking off in his palms. There’s no tenderness between the two of them. Tomas gives a sudden yelp, and pulls away from Vanessa’s mouth. “No teeth, you fucking whore,” he says before his palm connects with her cheek.

I gasp as she whimpers, a shock of pleasure jolting through me. She adjusts herself on all fours, her bare pussy flashing the camera. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m sick. Why do I like this?

“You can rub that soaked pussy. I know you’re a needy little thing,” Tomas says. I pause and look around, panicked that he’s here, coaching me through this fucked up scene. Vanessa moans as her fingers reach back to her clit, rubbing with an air of desperation. Slick sounds from her wetness rival mine. My thighs tremble with each circle. Fuck, I’m going to come from this.

Tomas seizes her neck, thrusting himself balls deep relentlessly. Vanessa gags and grinds against her hand as he uses her mouth. It’s sexy, but there’s no love in it. He tenses and pulls back as she readjusts herself. Her pert mouth forms a little ‘O’ as he jerks himself off over her face, taking no mind to where his semen lands.

My orgasm finds me suddenly. I ride through the wave of pleasure before deleting my browser history and slamming the case shut. What did I do? I don’t know if I feel better or worse.