Forbidden Obsessions (Deviant Desires of Bennington University #2)

Chapter Eighteen

Olivia

“ Y ou’ve got to be out of your mind, Mia.”

“Please,” she begs. “It sounds so fun, and we all run in the same circle, anyway.” She has a point with that. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with it because it’s the cabin—my zen home away from home. Having a joint bachelor and bachelorette party screams sacrilege.

“Ugh. If you can convince my brooding fiancé, then we’ll do it,” I relent.

“Bet,” Mia laughs, already digging out her phone.

It’s been three weeks since Tomas said he’d marry me tomorrow if I’d let him. We’ve settled on a date that’s only two weeks away at this point, but we’re taking it day-by-day with Mom.

“How’s your mom?” Mia inquires, still typing out a text message to someone. This question always trips me up. It’s becoming increasingly harder to answer, too.

“There are good days and bad days. Overall, she’s too thin, frail, winded, and tired. So tired.” After seeing the obvious decline, Tomas and I decided there was no point in waiting to get married, so three weeks it is.

“Yessss,” Mia celebrates.

“There’s no fucking way he said yes. Let me see the phone.” I read Tomas’ one word response— sure —over Mia’s shoulder. “You lying bitch. You used the word demure. A joint party is going to be a shitshow,” I chastise, ready to lob her favorite purple throw pillow at her.

“Ew, bitch. Do you hump this pillow? It smells atrocious.” Like the masochist I am, I sniff it again.

“I think we spilled something on it during the dark age.” Makes sense. It’s called the dark age for a reason.

I grab another bowl of fried rice as Mia starts the next heinous crime show. “What’s on deck now? More serial killers?”

“You guessed it,” she beams. My phone rings the second I spoon an impressive amount of rice into my mouth. Dad. The elephant returns to crush my chest a little bit more, like it does every time he calls.

“Liv,” he says in a strangled voice. Oh, God, this is it. She’s gone.

“ Is mom okay?” I ask, unable to focus on anything else.

“For right now, yes,” he inhales sharply, “but she wants to start hospice. Would you like to be involved in the meeting?”

“I don’t know,” I admit softly. I know Mom’s older and wiser, but I don’t want her to fall into the same trap of appeasing people.

“I think I’ll let you two do the first one and join the next one. When are they coming?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.” Unease blossoms in my stomach. So soon. “Is she up for a visitor?”

“You know she’s always up to see you. Bring Tomas, too, if you want. She’d love to see you both.”

“Be there soon.” I end the call and hang my head in my hands, barely able to process the news.

“Oh, babe,” Mia cries, wrapping her arms around me. I sniffle and sit up, taking a steady breath.

“I think Tomas and I are going to have to move the wedding up. She’s starting hospice tomorrow.”

“Go be with her. Me and Lex have it covered.”

I hesitate until she throws the pillow in my face again. “Okay, bye.”

The drive home is short and torturously quiet. My mind swims with the same question: what if she can’t hold on long enough?

“Hey,” Tomas calls, washing a pot at the kitchen sink. He turns to me with a smile that fades the second he sees me. I watch the anguish settle between his brows and in the set of his jaw before I turn into a blubbering mess on the floor.

“Hospice doesn’t mean she’s dying tomorrow,” Tomas says quietly, swaying with me in his lap.

“No, but it does mean she’s dying,” I counter.

Tomas rests his head against mine. “Yes. Sadly, it does mean that. Are you going to the meeting?”

“No, I want her to have the space and autonomy to make her own decisions. I’m afraid being there will push her toward decisions she doesn’t necessarily want.”

Tomas sits frozen for a moment, before tilting my head toward him. “That’s incredibly astute and a brave thing to do. I know how involved you want to be. I’m so proud of you.”

For the first time, I’m proud of myself, too.

Tomas drives us to my parents. His hand doesn’t leave mine once.

“You ready?” Tomas asks, standing on the front step. I’m not. I have an idea of what Mom is going to look like, and the truth is, it’s probably going to be worse. I nod, anyway, needing to be brave for me and her both.

“Hey, Maura,” Tomas greets, bending to give her a hug on the couch. He’s already chatting boisterously, the complete opposite of the brooding professor I started seeing in secret. Mom gives a sweet laugh that Tomas joins in on.

I eavesdrop in the doorframe, trying to soak up these moments I know are fleeting. Dad wraps an arm around me. “I’m glad you two came over. We’re almost out of time,” he says, forlorn.

“I can see that,” I squeak out. Her body looks battered. It’s her eyes, though. They hold so much exhaustion and pain that I can barely even meet them.

“I’ll be right back with Olivia,” Tomas promises, squeezing mom’s hand. He gives me a somber look, his eyes flitting to me and Dad.

“I think it’s time. Do you want anyone here?”

“Just Mia and Lex. Do you want to invite your parents or anyone?”

“Just Brayden and Tim. My parents won’t come,” he says flatly.

“Do we have someone to officiate?”

“Sure do. Say the word, and they’ll be here in an hour,” Dad chimes in.

“Are we really doing this?” I lift my eyes to Tomas’. He nods, his eyes full of adoration and steely determination.

“Hey, Mom. We decided we’re getting married today,” I call in.

Mia and Lex arrive within two hours, equipped with dresses and an arsenal of hair products. Brayden and Tim follow with clothes and champagne. We have been planning this since the engagement. I wanted it to be feasible at a moment’s notice.

“You’re stunning,” Mom says through ragged breaths. I bend and sit in front of the couch, letting her pin my hair.

“I’m so happy we’re doing this.” I choke back a sob.

“Me, too. The greatest work I’ve ever done is raising you, Olivia. I am so proud of you for choosing who and what makes you happy.” She wraps me in a hug. Her labored breaths break my heart over and over again. I understand why she wants to get hospice involved. She must be in a debilitating amount of pain.

“Mom, I know I keep telling you that I want you forever. I do. But please, if you’re ready, don’t stay on my account or Dad’s or anyone’s. Do what’s best for you.”

Mia, Lex, and Mom squeeze me tightly. It’s reminiscent of the night Tomas initially proposed. Lex peeks her head into the hallway.

“Judge Adams is here,” Lex calls.

“It's time,” Mom says. Mia’s eyes are brimming with tears, but they don’t look happy.

“Mia?” I ask, rushing to her side.

“It’s nothing. Seriously,” she says, wiping her eyes.

“It’s not nothing. Talk to me, babe.” Lex watches us with concern.

“It can wait. I’m not about to ruin your wedding day with my bullshit,” she cries.

“Sweetie, we’re in our house and on our time. Let Olivia help you instead of being the one to fix everyone else all the time,” Mom says.

Mia looks at her, shell-shocked. “Damn, she’s good,” she admits. Mom and I tag team her with a glare, silently demanding answers.

“Okay, okay. I’m in love with Matthew,” she yells.

I look at her, wondering how she’s just figuring this out. “We know,” I say slowly,

“Let’s start working on some commitment and we’ll get there, yeah?”

“I know. We should have just dropped it.”

“If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn't for you, Mia.” I pull her into a hug. Lex watches us with a weird look on her face. Her eyes flit to mine, and I recognize it: guilt.

“ Let’s go get your groom, bestie,” Lex shouts excitedly. What the fuck did you do? I mouth to her silently. She pretends she doesn’t see me and walks out first. Mia follows her. Mom walks slowly ahead of me. I control my breathing, hoping to get my nerves under control. All of it goes out the window when we lock eyes.

Olivia DeLuca has a nice ring to it.