Forever Mine

Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

JAY

Just be yourself. Yeah, that’s easy for Kota to say. His regular self was fuckin’ perfect. I’m sure all his exes’ parents loved him on sight. Why wouldn’t they?

Despite what Dakota kept telling me, there was no way his parents would be okay with their son dating the fucked-up street kid with a rap sheet as long as my arm. I knew I would lose my fucking mind if my kid brought someone like me home.

I still walked into the restaurant, holding Dakota’s hand like it was my lifeline. This was important to Dakota. They were important to him. I had to make this work. They’d probably never accept me, but hopefully they’d at least be decent.

We walked inside and started to go up to the hostess, but Dakota stopped me. “There they are.”

He nodded to an older couple that was sitting at a table against the wall and toward the back of the space.

“Okay.” My mouth was fucking dry. I swallowed, trying to get a little saliva, and forced my feet to move and follow Dakota to his parents.

His dad stood up as we got closer, and I almost did a double-take. Kota was his fucking twin. I had the perfect glimpse of what he would like in thirty years, and fuck, I wouldn’t be complaining. He was a good-looking man for a guy in his sixties. His mom twisted in her seat before standing up.

“So good to see you, honey!” she exclaimed excitedly and threw her arms around Dakota.

He huffed out a laugh as he returned the hug. “Ma, I saw you a few days ago.”

“Still too long.” Dakota rolled his eyes at his mom over her head. I took a step back, unsure what to do.

“Jay, it’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Patrick.” Dakota’s dad introduced himself as his mom still suffocated Kota with her hug. He held out his hand to me.

I took his, wishing like fuck I’d worn gloves. My hand tats never bothered me, but I’d also never met my boyfriend’s parents before. Patrick didn’t look down, though. He smiled warmly at me, his green eyes, which were one of the only differences I noticed between him and Kota, met mine.

“Thank you, sir,” I replied stiffly. I had no fucking idea how to interact with these people.

That was when Dakota’s mom, Shauna, seemed to remember I was there. She pushed her son away and turned in my direction. I went to shake her hand when thin arms wrapped around my waist.

“Oh, it’s so good to finally meet you, honey. Wow, you really are tall.”

I froze, arms out to my sides as I shot a helpless look at Kota. I—couldn’t remember the last time I was hugged like this…by a mom? Was I ever? We lived with my grandpa for abit when I was real little, but he died when I was four and I never knew my grandma. My ma sure as fuck never gave me this type of affection. Did I return it? Fuck…

“Shauna, let the poor boy go. You’re overwhelming him.”

My cheeks flushed, but they weren’t as red as Shauna’s as she pulled away. “Oh, I’m sorry. My kids keep telling me that I need to ask before hugging people, but sometimes I get carried away.”

“It’s okay…” I rocked back on my heels and pulled on the sleeves of my shirt.

Dakota took my hand, stopping me before I ruined this shirt. Which was a good thing. It was fuckin’ forty dollars. I had to return it.

“C’mon, let’s sit,” he said quietly and led me to my chair. I smiled when he automatically made sure I was sitting where no one was to my back. My man really did know me.

Shauna smiled at me with kind eyes as she sat next to her husband. Looking at them, they really were an odd pair. She was very tiny, probably only 5’1” or 5’2”, with reddish brown hair that had more gray than the other color. Dakota didn’t look much like her but it looked like he got his hair and eye color from her.

I put my hands in my lap and sucked on my lip ring while I waited for someone to start talking. The three of them seemed to pick up their menus immediately, but for some reason, I couldn’t move.

Dakota squeezed my thigh. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re doing great.” Yeah, I was having a fucking crisis over a hug. I was doing totally fine. “Do you wanna look at the menu?” I shrugged. Dakota didn’t get annoyed though. All he said was, “They have a really good chicken parm.” He knew how much I liked chicken parm.

“Y-yeah. That sounds good.”

“How’s Nora doing?” Kota asked his mom. I’d never met his siblings but he talked about them all the time and I knew enough about all of them to know she was the pregnant one.

“Did she have another appointment?”

“Yeah. The baby is a little big for how far along she is. They think he might be early. But other than that, they’re both doing good.” Shauna said just before the waiter came up. We gave our drink orders—I just got water—and since we all knew what we wanted, we ordered our food too. It went way too quickly, and then it was back to being just the four of us again.

“So, Jay, Dakota said you work at the factory in the city?” The factory had a name, but since like half of the people in the area worked there, everyone just called it the factory.

I shifted in my seat, but somehow managed to answer. “Yeah. Um, yes. Beck, my best friend, got me a spot there a few months ago. It ain’t bad,” I flinched, “I mean, it’s not bad. Money’s decent. Overnights though.” Fuck, I was rambling. Why was I rambling?

Shauna smiled again. She had a very nice smile. Very mom-like. “Oh well, that worked out since Dakota works nights too.”

“True.”

Patrick huffed a laugh, “You already lasted longer than me. I got fired from that place after a week for showing up drunk.”

I flinched. That was the biggest no-no for the place. No one wanted to deal with the lawsuit if you got fucked up from the machinery because your dumb ass wasn’t alert.

Shauna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, my Patrick was a wild one back then.” She patted his arm. “Tamed him right up.”

Patrick flashed his teeth at her. “Not that tame, woman.”

That shocked a laugh outta me while Dakota groaned. “Eww, Dad, can you not say that, please? Ugh, I apologize for them.” Dakota told me with another squeeze. But really, I didn’t mind. I’d never seen anything like how they all interacted with each other before. It was fascinating. Everyone was so relaxed, so comfortable together. Shauna and Patrick were still so in love, even my cynical ass could see it. And they loved their son. It was so fucking apparent it took my breath away.

Somehow Dakota’s awkwardness and Patrick’s confession relaxed me some. Kota had told me plenty of times that his dad had a past, but hearing him freely talk about it, at least some of the more innocent parts, made me feel like less of a shithead. Maybe Dakota was right about how his parents would react.

The food came soon and all the awkwardness was erased. For the most part, they didn’t ask me questions, which I was grateful for. They talked about Dakota as a kid, about his siblings, and their grandkids. Dakota’s niece was apparently a killer dancer and was invited to join a travel team where typically no one under twelve was allowed. They were all very proud of her.

It left a real bittersweet feeling in me. It made me happy that families like this actually existed. I loved that Kota got to grow up in a caring family with lots of siblings and lots of love. That they got all these opportunities I never even dreamed of having. I’d never in a million fucking years want Dakota or anyone to go through the shit I had, and I wished I could shield him better from the affects it still had on me.

Still, I couldn’t act like I wasn’t a little jealous. Not that I would’ve ever wanted to be in dance class, but I did remember a kid in my second-grade class was in soccer. I even got to go to his soccer practice once. It was so cool, and I was real excited to go back home and ask my ma if I could join soccer. My ma just laughed in my face and shuffled to the fridge for her boxed wine. My mom’s boyfriend at the time, Nick…no Noah? Ned? Something with an N, heard me asking, slapped me over the side of the head, and told me to stop being such a dumbass, ungrateful piece of shit. I couldn’t remember his name. But I did remember that. Then he spit in my face and threw his half-empty beer at me. I never asked about soccer, or anything else again.

The table got quiet, and I realized everyone was staring at me. I cleared my throat. “Um…sorry. Did I miss somethin’?”

Kota smiled softly at me. He seemed to give me a full assessment with his gaze. I guess he decided that I was just distracted and not in the middle of dissociating or some shit because instead of dragging me away, which he looked seconds away from doing, he just said, “Dad just asked if you had any siblings.”

I turned toward Patrick. “Sorry,” but he waved away my apology. “Um, not that I know of.” I was sure I had some out there I didn’t know existed. I’d never met my dad. I just knew he was twenty-six and my ma was sixteen, and he ghosted her and the entire town when he found out she was pregnant. Probably so my grandpa didn’t murder him. Wouldn’t be a surprise if he’d done that to other girls. “Though I guess Beck and Riley are like my brothers. Ri sure as hell—heck acts like my annoying kid-brother.”

Shauna snorted. “You can curse, sweetie. You won’t offend our sensibilities.”

I scrubbed the side of my face, embarrassed. “Yeah, I—don’t really know how to act.”

“You don’t have to act any way. Just be yourself. I promise you, there’s nothing you can do or say that’ll shock us,” Shauna told me, and I stopped myself from rolling my eyes just in time.

“All that matters to us is that Dakota is happy and you treat him well. Everything else, well that’s just societal norms, and I never gave much of a fuck about them,” Patrick said, taking a sip of his beer.

“I—” I cleared my throat, “I care about him, a lot. I wish I was better at showin’ him sometimes.” Fuck, why was I telling Dakota’s parents this?

Long, callused fingers touched the side of my chin, and Dakota turned my head so I was looking at him. “You do show me, Jay. All the time.” I could see that he was telling the truth, even if I didn’t get it. I wasn’t romantic. I didn’t bring him gifts or take him out on fancy dates. I couldn’t even tell him that I loved him.

“You wanna do this right here, in front of my parents? Because you know I will. You know I’ll list every fucking thing out if that’s what you need.”

Fuck. I shivered under the intensity of Dakota’s gaze. “No. I believe you.”

He smirked and settled back into his seat.

Thankfully after that, the subject changed and things got less awkward. The chicken parm was delicious, and I really wished I didn’t eat all of it, but I couldn’t stop myself, that’s how good the damn thing was.

Dakota’s parents paid the bill. We both offered, but they insisted. When we got outside, both his parents gave him a hug goodbye and told him that they loved him. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. Had my mom ever said she loved me when she wasn’t in the middle of a drug-induced hallucination? I wasn’t sure.

Shauna turned to me. “I promised Dakota I wouldn’t do it without your permission this time, but I’d really like to hug you goodbye.”

I felt the panic start to rise, and for some reason, my instinct was to fuckin’ bolt. Which was…ridiculous. Was I really scared of this sweet, tiny woman and her hugs? But yeah, kinda. Still, it felt wrong to say no. I gave her a small nod. Those short arms wrapped around me again. Once again, I had no idea what to do with my arms. I awkwardly patted her back.

“I’m so glad I finally got to meet you, Jay. I can see why my Dakota said you’re the one.”

With that fucking bomb, she let go of her hold. I was still standing there in shock when Patrick said goodbye to me, and I really hoped I’d responded because I didn’t want to be rude, but all I could think about was what she just said. Did Kota really tell them I was the one for him? What did that even mean?

Something touched my face. I blinked and looked down at Dakota, who was staring at me with concern. “Are you okay, baby?”

“Uh, yeah.”

He frowned. “You could have told my mom no. She wouldn’t have been offended.”

I shook my head. It wasn’t that. “No, she was fine. I like your parents. They’re both really nice.”

Dakota beamed, distracting me from my internal crisis. “They liked you too.”

It seemed like that was true, which was really wild, but I was trying to let myself believe it was possible.

“C’mon, let’s head back home.” The word home made me stutter a step. A few months ago, when I’d said I wasn’t ready to live with Kota permanently, that was the truth. But since it took so damn long to find this apartment, and I’d spent most of the time living with him, my thoughts were starting to change. His place really did kind of feel like home.

Still, I knew it was the right decision to move into the new place. Even if I didn’t ever spend much time there, I needed a space to call my own—my own name on the lease, even if Beck and Riley’s names were on there too. It was important to me, even if it scared the ever-fucking-shit out of me at the same time.

We walked hand-in-hand back to the car. Before Dakota went to the driver’s side, I stopped him. Holding him in place, I gave him a kiss that probably wasn’t appropriate for public, especially with his folks on the other side of the lot. I still did it though.

When I pulled back, Dakota was looking a little hazy and had a dopey smile on his face. “What was that for?”

I shrugged. I had no idea. “Just wanted to.” That was good enough for Dakota, who pecked my lips one last time before going to the other side of the car.

We were quiet for the ride. I was way too lost in my head, but Kota seemed to understand that and didn’t try to chat.

By the time we walked the flights up to his apartment, things started to feel clearer in my mind. All those feelings I’d been having for Dakota, the way it hurt to be away from him, the way I needed him like I needed the air in my lungs, they weren’t going away. And I was okay with that.

I had to find a way to tell him. I wanted him to understand how I felt, that it wasn’t one- sided. How much he consumed me. Could I say it though? I doubted it. But I’d find a way.

I was shaken out of my deep thoughts when my phone vibrated after we got into Kota’s apartment. It was the group text with Kota, Riley, Beck and me. I saw Dakota looking at his phone with a small smile.

Riley: Have you’s ever been to a cookout?

Kota: Yes…

Like one of those backyard parties where some Dad grills and everyone else drinks too many wine coolers?

Kota snorted as he wrapped his arm around me and rested his head against my arm.

“That’s oddly specific.”

I shrugged. That’s what it always looked like on TV, anyway.

Riley responded. Riley: Yeah! I guess like that.

Me: No

Dakota gasped? “Wait for real? Never?”

I swallowed feeling a little embarrassed. He seemed to realize that and kissed my arm in a silent apology. I squeezed him close.

Beck: Yeah, us either. Luca was not amused.

Riley: So all of us are invited to one next month. He wanted to do it, like today, but Wes said we should get settled in first.

Me: Wait, like at Luca’s place? Count me the fuck in.

I was dying to know what Luca’s house looked like. It was probably a fuckin’ bat cave or some shit. Dakota laughed at me, but not in a teasing way. He was curious too.

I put my phone away then and turned my attention to Dakota. I may not be ready to word vomit all my feelings about Kota, but I did have other ways of letting him know I cared.