Forever Mine

Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

DAKOTA

Jay froze, his gaze fixed on the building in front of us. There wasn’t anything special about it. It looked like every other office building in the city. Nothing ominous, but it was what was inside that was tripping him up.

I moved to stand in front of him. I couldn’t quite block his view since he was basically a head taller than me, but I still hoped my presence was enough.

“Jay, breathe, baby.”

He sucked in a harsh breath, his head snapping to me.

“Kota…I don’t know if I can do this.”

It was so tempting to give in and tell him we could go home, but he needed this, we both did.

“Yeah you can. I believe in you. And I’ll be there the whole time, remember? You and me. I won’t leave your side.”

His shoulders heaved. “Right. Right.I can do this.”

Jay took my hand with the one not holding his crutch and together we hobbled into the building.

It had been a long and chaotic month. All I wanted to do was hole up in my apartment with Jay and just be. I didn’t want to deal with anything, not even my family, as much as I loved them. It wasn’t possible though, and the past month was a whirlwind of doctor’s visits, interviews with the police, dodging the press, and family members showing up unannounced to check up on us.

Things were finally settling down, but I was still shocked when Jay brought up going to therapy last week. I guess I wasn’t hiding the nightmares as well as I thought I was, and after a long and sleepless night, Jay brought it up. I was so fucking proud of him, even if he said it mainly because of me.

“Remember,” I said right before we walked into Dr. Walsh’s office. “Dr. Walsh is not Mr. Chase. She’s the therapist for all of Luca’s crew. She’s a safe space.”

He chewed on his lip ring. “And you’ll be there?” he asked again.

“I’ll be there.” Dr. Walsh had agreed to do our therapy as a group session. I think eventually she hoped to get individual appointments with us, but she understood the situation and was willing to do this as long as Jay needed it.

I was glad for it too. I couldn’t fucking stop seeing that bullet shoot through his leg, only in my dreams, it wasn’t his leg, it was his head. I thought they’d ease over time. We were safe. Dr. Kiley was in jail. But they only kept getting worse. The first few weeks were so hectic and focused on Jay’s physical recovery, I don’t think I had the chance for it to really hit me. My nights were still restless and nightmare plagued even then, but it was easier to manage. Lately though, I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing Jay’s lifeless body on the floor. It felt like something I needed to work through with Jay, even if I was scared for him to know the extent of how much it all haunted me whenever I closed my eyes.

We walked in and a smiling receptionist greeted us. “Hi, we have an appointment. Dakota Kelly and Jaylin Parks.”

“Oh yes, welcome. Please take a seat and I’ll let you know Dr. Walsh know you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

Jay never let go of my hand. He didn’t say anything either, just let me do the talking and lead him to the chair.

“This is nicer than I thought it’d be,” he finally commented stiffly when the receptionist left the room.

I glanced at him. “What did you expect?”

He shrugged. “Plastic chairs and linoleum floors.”

I couldn’t help it, I snorted. “You expected a high school cafeteria?”

He knocked into my shoulder, but he was fighting a smile. “Shh, I don’t know. I think I built it up in my head, ya know?”

“Yeah, I get that. Thanks for doing this.”

Jay smiled softly, and kissed my head. “Of course, sweetheart. I think we both need this.” Yeah I really thought we did.

The door to the office opened and a kind looking woman in her early forties opened the door. Her brown hair was in a cute pixie cut, and instead of the severe suit even I expected, she was wearing a pair of gray flared pinstripe pants and a navy blue silk blouse with a sheer overlay with little polka dots. Bridget would love that out.

“Dakota and Jaylin? I’m Dr. Walsh, but everyone just calls me Lily. Are you ready to come inside?”

I could physically feel Jay relax at her warm and casual tone, and he climbed to his feet, me right beside him. It kind of fucking sucked that it took a crazy ass stalker and us getting kidnapped to get to this point, but this felt like a huge step, not just for Jay, but for myself, and I was so proud of both of us.

I stretched out on Jay’s lap, well, his good leg, as we relaxed on the couch after our appointment.

“I feel like I could nap for a week.”

Jay frowned at me. He was playing with my hair with one hand while ordering food on his phone with the other. “Yeah, same. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but I am worn out.”

“Same. I didn’t realize how mentally exhausting it would be. But I do feel a little better.”

Jay tugged my hair lightly. “Yeah, and hopefully those techniques will help you to sleep better.”

Not surprisingly, Jay was aware of my nightmares when I brought them up to Dr. Walsh, and had an idea on how bad they were getting. Didn’t stop both of us from bursting out in tears when I talked about them. I was hoping to avoid sleeping pills if I could, so Dr. Walsh started to teach me a few techniques that might help, and ways Jay could help too.

I closed my eyes and kicked my legs over the side of the couch. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. I think we both need to decompress, with burgers and cheese fries, and all the cheesy movies on Netflix we can handle.”

“Sounds good, sweetheart. I’m adding bacon to the fries, though.”

“Obviously.”

Jay and I stayed just like that for a long time, except for when I had to get up to grab the food from the delivery driver. I had no idea what was playing on the TV, because I couldn’t stop watching Jay. It had been a month, and I still felt like if I looked away he would disappear. Neither of us had been back to work yet, but it would have to happen soon. I was terrified of it. Not to start working, or even being at the hospital where it all started. I wasn’t afraid of that. But being away from Jay, not being able to check within a few minutes to make sure he was okay, I was petrified it would break me. It wasn’t realistic, and eventually we’d have to deal with it, but until then I planned not to let Jay leave my side.

Jay’s fingers trailed across my cheek. “Darlin’ I’m right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

I swallowed down the emotion. How did he know exactly what I was thinking?

“Logically, I know you’re right, but it doesn’t mean I can get my brain to see that.”

Jay grimaced. “Trust me, I get it. I don’t wanna leave you either. Fuck, Kota, when that trunk opened, and I saw you standin’ there with a gun to your head? That was the scariest fuckin’ moment of my life.”

I tilted my head so I could kiss his fingers. “Me too. When he shot you…” I choked on my words, unable to finish, but Jay understood.

“But, we made it out, sweetheart. The fucker is in jail and hopefully will be for a long ass time. And we’re here. We’re here, and I love you, and I don’t plan on ever livin’ another day without you.”

Tears in my eyes, I pushed up so I could kiss him. Jay’s hand cupped the back of my neck as he leaned into the kiss. For just that moment it was easy to forget about everything else. There was no Dr. Kiley. No police, doctor’s visits, therapists or nightmares. There was just Jay and I. For that moment, there was nothing more important than the feel of Jay’s lips on mine, than his body holding me close. Maybe if he never let go, I could hold onto this forever.

Jay’s hand slid up my shirt, his calloused fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

“Fuck, Kota, I want you.” He deepened the kiss.

“Y-your leg,” I managed to squeak out breathless into his lips. I wanted him too. We hadn’t had sex since before the kidnapping. At first it wasn’t even a thought in my mind. I was too worried about Jay, still caught up in the trauma, and it seemed Jay felt the same way. We needed to be close, usually touching each other, but it never went further than cuddling and occasional kisses. It had been a month now, and if I wasn’t worried about hurting Jay further, I’d have had him inside me by now.

“It’s fine sweetheart. Ride me, I trust you.” He moaned, his hands cupping my ass.

I rocked up in his touch, which made it easy to see how turned on he was. Hell, so was I. I had doubts, but I had to trust Jay to know his own body. He was cleared for light activity as long as it didn’t put too much pressure on his leg.

I looked Jay in the eye. “You’ll tell me if it becomes too much,” I told him seriously.

He looked like he wanted to roll his eyes at me, but resisted. “I will, I promise.”

Satisfied, I rolled off him and the couch. “Bedroom. I want you to be more comfortable.”

This time Jay did roll his eyes, but the small flinch as he pushed himself off the couch was enough to make me confident it was the right call. I handed him his crutch.

“Thanks, darlin’.”

I kissed him on the cheek and then hurried ahead of him. By the time he hobbled into the bedroom, I was naked on all fours with two fingers inside me. Jay froze at the door with a low curse. I threw a saucy grin over my shoulder and adjusted my angle so he could get a better show.

“Dakota,” he said quietly, almost reverently.

“C’mere, baby.”

Groaning, Jay tossed his crutch to the side, letting it fall to the floor with a clang, and hopped/limped the small distance to the bed. I continued to prepare myself as Jay got naked and got himself comfortable on the bed. Before laying down, he cupped the back of my head and kissed me.

Once he was settled, I straddled him carefully.

“Remember, tell me if you hurt, and I’ll stop immediately.”

He tugged on his already very hard cock a couple times. “I know, Kota. Please, we need this.”

We did. And me stressing over it wasn’t going to help either of us. I grabbed the lube and covered his cock, never breaking eye contact. So much emotion passed through Jay’s eyes, that I knew was mirrored in my own. Fuck, how was it that we did this a million times, but it felt like so much more now. His grip on my hips was much lighter than usual, but his fingers flexed possessively. I liked that he was letting me control this, though. The control had been taken away from me when Dr. Kiley took us. Thankfully, things never got that far, but they easily could have. I still felt violated and off kilter. I got to choose who I was with, who I was vulnerable with. Who I loved. In a way, this felt like me taking back the power and giving the asshole a big fuck you for thinking he ever had control over me and my life.

Jay moved one hand to his cock, holding it steady, while I lined up, spreading my cheeks with my hands. I started to sink down, slowly. It was fucking torture, taking inch after inch, but its was torturing Jay as much as me, and watching him come undone one second at a time was enough to keep my impatience in check.

My lips parted and small breathy gasps escaped me as I continued to stretch around him. It felt like more than usual this time, and I didn’t know if it was because of how slow I was moving, or because it had been a while since I had him inside me.

“Kota…darlin’ …fuck.” Every word sounded strangled, like it was taking every last bit of his energy to get it out. I knew how he felt.

“Just feel baby. Let me take care of you.”

Jay let out another low curse. “Kota…”

He didn’t manage any other words, but he didn’t need to. I finally sank all the way down so I was fully seated. Jay’s hands were on my ass again and his fingers kept flexing. I know he so badly wanted to move, to set the pace and take back some of the control. He somehow resisted.

“I love you,” I told him, before finally moving, and saving both of us from the hell I was putting us through.

I took my time, still. I wanted to feel every inch of him. I wanted to watch as Jay slowly lost control and just gave in to his feelings. As much as I wanted to go faster, to give in to the neediness building inside me, I didn't. Not until all the tension seeped out of Jay and he was just a puddle underneath me. Not until his grunts turned into pleas and admissions of I love you. Not until he could no longer stay still, and as much as he tried to, his hips moved of their own accord, bucking up and meeting my movement.

Then and only then, I leaned down and our mouths crashed together, the change of angle sending a zap of pleasure through me.

“Kota, fuck…I love you so fuckin’ much, darlin’.”

“I love you too. Touch me, Jay. Make me come on your cock.”

Jay’s hand was on my dick in less than a second. Using the pre-cum that had been leaking freely from my tip, he lubed me up enough to avoid too much friction, and immediately started to jerk me off with a frenzied pace that didn’t match the much calmer thrusts I was trying so hard to maintain.

“Fuck it.” I needed to come. Jay needed to come. I wanted this to last longer. It felt significant to take our time, to make this into something more. But now, my needs and desires were just too strong.

I bounced up and down, no longer calm and controlled. Jay cursed quietly and used his good leg to thrust up and meet me each time. In the back of my mind I knew I should be more worried about his leg, but there was no pain in his expression, so I wasn’t going to worry about it now.

“Kota, fuck. I’m gonna…I’m gonna…”

His grip on my cock faltered as his hips shook. My hole clenched around his dick as the first burst of his come filled me. His dick pulsing inside me combined with the feel of his hand around my length was enough for me too, and I shot all over his hand and belly. It seemed to go on forever. My vision was blurred and I was dizzy from the intensity. I swayed, and Jay had to steady me and help me fall onto the bed.

“Fuck.” It was the only word that was coming to me right now.

Jay snorted and let out a small laugh. “Yeah...fuck. Dakota, that was—” He trailed off. Clearly neither of us were capable of major declarations right now.

That was fine. I buried my face into Jay’s chest. “We should probably clean you up, sweetheart. My cum is leakin’ outta your hole.”

I grinned. “Should’ve grabbed a plug. Don’t wanna lose it.”

Jay huffed, but I could tell he was smiling. And he could tell I wasn’t moving any time soon. I let out a sharp gasp when two of his fingers slid inside me, keeping me plugged and full.

I smiled sleepily. It was exactly what I needed.

“Sleep, sweetheart. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

For the first time since we were taken, I actually fell asleep confident that those words were the truth.