Forever My Soldier (The Ryder Brothers #3)

Chapter Eight

Deacon

If Jenna thought for one second that I was going to leave this alone and not fight for her, then she was sorely mistaken, which was why I had a nice evening planned for the two of us and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

When Jenna opened the door, I could tell she was fighting the urge to smile at the sight of me, so I’d smile for the both of us. “Aren’t you going to let me in?”

Her cheeks flushed with heat at my question, but her expression remained unchanged. “It’s late, Deke.”

I leaned in, our mouths nearly brushing each other, but instead brought my mouth to her ear and whispered, “Come on, it could be fun.”

She sighed and backed up. “That’s what you said this morning when you took me to the beach.”

“I haven’t lied to you yet, have I, princess?” I narrowed my eyes, trying to read her expression, but could only see the tortured look of someone trying so hard to fight the desire she was feeling inside. I wished she’d give in to how she was feeling, but knew that wasn’t going to happen easily. Jenna was as stubborn as they came, but I could be a patient man.

She walked away from the door and headed toward her kitchen. I followed, closing the door behind us.

“I wish I could have fun,” she began, “but I have obligations. I have to be a grown up, Deke.” She sunk her hands in a sink full of dishes, pots, and pans soaking in soapy water.

How long had she not been a grown up for, I wondered. “Does being a grown up mean you can’t use a dishwasher?”

“It’s not working,” she confessed. Clearly thankful for the excuse to avoid being with me, she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “Looks like whatever you had planned for us is going to have to wait.”

She bent over the counter to grab her glass of red wine and I cornered her there as she took a sip from it. I left her just enough room to turn around in my arms, my hands on either side of her on the counter, closing her in. She gasped as I pressed my body against hers, pinning her to the counter.

Jenna was still holding her glass off to the side, but nearly dropped it as she closed her eyes and pushed her hips into me.

I abruptly turned back like a grade-A asshole and left her standing there, wanting more. Hell, I wanted more, but I wasn’t going to give into it, not now. It would’ve been too easy to take her to bed. It would’ve been like last time, commitment-less. Next time I wanted commitment. I wanted to know this was going somewhere.

She wet her lips before walking around the counter and stumbling onto a nearby stool. I raised a brow, enjoying how I was torturing her in this moment. I liked seeing her this way. She was rattled and that was because she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. Not much had changed since I’d left.

She blinked and waved her glass around, clearly frustrated, searching for something to say, but coming up short.

I chuckled and decided to put her out of her misery. “Take a load off,” I commanded, turning around and opening the faucet. The clock readout suggested we had plenty of time, but I wasn’t about to waste it arguing over some dirty dishes. “I’ll do these, but when I’m done, you’re going to owe me.”

“Depends on what you have in mind,” she said, smirking.

“Princess, you may not want to know.” I looked over my shoulder and watched as she sipped her drink. “Don’t get too comfortable. I’m going to be done with this crap before you can finish that thing off.”

I heard her chuckle. “If you say so, big boy.”

She had no idea, I mused. My body was still on alert from our earlier interaction. But there was no way I was going to let tonight’s lunar eclipse go without her seeing it, even if that meant forgetting my new desire to take her to her bedroom instead to please her ten ways from Sunday. I was playing the long-game here and had to remember that.

”How did the rest of your day go? Did you make your meeting?” I asked, changing the subject.

She nodded, but also groaned, which had me turning around. “I hate the phone,” she explained.

“What?”

“The meeting was fine, but after that I was stuck on the phone forever. I don’t like the phone, being on it I mean. I hate it. Despise it, really.”

“Are your clients really that bad?” A couple of utensils and a dish left. Not so bad. I was making good time.

She answered, “It’s not my clients that’s the problem. It was opposing counsel, witnesses, everyone else. If they’re not cocky, arrogant, sons of a bitches, then they are not the least bit interested in anything I have to say. Sometimes I wish I could just stick my hand through the phone, you know?”

I nodded, but really had no idea.

“The problem is that most time people find out they’re talking to me, a female, and especially not my father, then they treat me less-than. They push me to play dirty, threatening lawsuits, just to hear me out. The whole point in trying to settle something is to talk it out, but I’m never given an ounce of respect at that stage.”

“And threatening lawsuits works?”

“It did today.”

I rinsed off my hands from the soap, shut the faucet, and dried my hands on a towel close by. “All done,” I declared.

Jenna peered into her glass that still had wine in it and then looked up at me. “Well, I’ll be damned.” She chuckled. “You know, I hate doing dishes almost as much as I hate phone calls.”

I rolled my eyes. “Figures.” Then I walked over to her and took the glass, dumping out the contents in the sink and placing it down. “This one glass will have to wait until we get back.”

“Why are you in such a hurry?” she questioned, staring at the clock. As did I and noticed that we had to get the hell out of here and to the park or we’d miss it.

I shook my head and grabbed her wrist. “Come on. I have something I want to show you.”

“All right, all right.” She walked with me and grabbed her purse off the couch. “You seriously have my interest peaked with all this urgency.” She locked up quickly, but stopped just outside her door. “You know I like it fast,” she said, teasing me, her hand rubbing against the front of my pants. “And hard.” She eyed me, brow raised, and licked her lips.

I channeled the most restraint I’d ever had in my entire life. “Princess, I thought you weren’t interested,” I said through gritted-teeth.

“Oh, I’m always interested in that,” she said pointedly, removing her hand. “But you’re right, we can’t get back together, it’d be a bad idea.”

I groaned and counted to ten slowly.

Jenna laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Now I’m thinking this is going to be the most fun I’ve had in a while, but you should probably should deal with that first,” she said, biting down on her finger, looking at my obvious reaction to her and walked away.

“That’s a lot of pressure, you know? I just hope you can deliver.”

“I always deliver,” I said, half wondering if we were still talking about our little adventure. The truth was, I had a feeling that making a dream Jenna had since we were in high school a reality was going to make her top ten favorite moments, so I wasn’t too concerned on that front. And if we were talking about the other thing , then well I wasn’t concerned about that either. Pleasuring Jenna was never something I had a problem with.

* * *

“Look, it’s a full moon,” Jenna noted.

“I know, that’s why we’re here.”

She sucked in a breath of air, as if she knew what I was about to say.

“There’s supposed to be a lunar eclipse starting in a few minutes,” I explained, grabbing the blankets I’d put in my tail pack. The temperature was always rather warm in Miami, even this time of year, but at nighttime the temperature dropped just enough to be considered chilly. I shoved them under my arm and grabbed the thermos I brought, too, and handed that to her before closing the pack and joining her.

Still holding her breath, her eyes went wide. “We’re watching the lunar eclipse?”

I nodded as she linked her arm with mine and we walked on the grass arm in arm.

Jenna looked down. “And all of this?”

“That’s coffee,” I said, pointing to the thermos. Then I patted the blankets. “These are for later. I figured we’d want to stay for a while, really enjoy it.”

She looked down at her shoes. “Maybe I should’ve changed my shoes.”

I bent down. “I have a better idea,” I said and helped her slip them off.

She wiggled her toes in the grass and giggled.

“Now you can feel the grass beneath your feet.” I carried them in my other hand until we got where I wanted us to go.

“I can’t believe you remembered how much I always wanted to see one. Never did, not even after I grew up and got out of my parent’s house and away from their rules and curfews. Never had the time when they were happening. Then somewhere along the way I just stopped trying to catch one.”

“It’s important to make time for the things that matter,” I reminded her.

She smiled. “Have I told you already how glad I am that you’re back?”

“I believe you have,” I said, “but I’m good with hearing it again.”

When we made our way over to the spot I had in mind, I told her, “It should be happening soon.”

She wrapped her hands around the thermos as I placed the blankets on the ground for us. “You’re cold,” I said as I observed her rubbing one hand up and down her arm.

“No, I’m fine, really.”

I grumbled, “You’ve always been a horrible liar.” I slid my leather jacket off and placed it over her shoulders.

She adjusted it so it was on her comfortably over her soft pink sweater. Just then, the time had come and Jenna pointed upward. “Look! It’s starting.”

I stood next to her and looked up at the full moon sitting in a sky full of stars. As beautiful as it was, though, the thing that really captivated me was how it captivated Jenna, how she was so enthralled by the astronomical event.

Turning to look at me for a split second, I could see her eyes were filled with hope for the first time since I’d returned. “Deke, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”

I placed my hand on her back and glided it up and down. “Told you tonight would be worth it.”

She chuckled, not turning her face away from the sky, though. “You’re two for two.”

After a few minutes, she peeled her eyes away and sat down on the blankets. “This is so much better than the plans I had for tonight.”

Very aware of the casual criss-cross position she sat in, I got down beside her, leaning into her. “Which was?” I asked.

She waved her hand in the air and pulled at the jacket to cover her more. “Work. There’s always paperwork to be done with my job.”

“Don’t you have an assistant or a paralegal?”

“Both, actually, but some things I just have to do myself,” she said, and I knew we were now entering an area of her life where Jenna’s control freak dominated. She took a sip of the coffee and licked her lips. “This is good. Thank you, Deke.” Her eyes were back on the moon as it was slowly being covered in a cloak of darkness.

The last thing I wanted to do was ruin this moment, but she needed to know what I already knew. I placed my hand gently over hers that were now sitting in her lap. “This could be our lives,” I pointed out.

Her head snapped to the side and her eyes darted back and forth between mine. “You’re serious,” she observed.

“As a heart attack.”

Jenna removed my hand from hers and stood up immediately. “Are you out of your mind?” She pulled at her hair and then rubbed her hand across her mouth. “I can’t believe this.” She looked down at the grass and then me. “I knew it,” she said. “I just knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“That this was a mistake. It always is.” She bit her lip, frustrated. “I should’ve never let this go this far. I mean, I shouldn’t have even started this.” She began walking away and then turned around. “Let me ask you something,” she spat out.

I repositioned myself on the blanket to look at her, my hands now behind me, propping me up. I felt like I was bracing myself for the firing squad, but went ahead with it anyway. “Shoot.”

“If I didn’t go to see you when you came back, would you still be this determined to ‘fight for me’?”

Never mind, this required me to be standing. I took a deep breath and tried to get her to stand still, but it was useless what with all her pacing. I finally confessed, “Princess, I never expected you to show up when you did, but if you didn’t, I can assure you, I was coming to see you eventually.”

I could see tears welling in her eyes and it felt like I was punched in the gut.

“Why?” she asked.

“Don’t you see? I love you.”

“We haven’t been together in a long time, Deke,” she insisted. Soon I knew I was going to hear some crap about me just being back, but that didn’t matter to me. For me, all that mattered was that I was back now, period.

“So what? It’s always been you, princess.”

“How can you say that?” she all but shrieked. Not the reaction I was going for.

“There hasn’t been anyone else. There never will be. It’s you. Always has been. Always will be,” I repeated, hoping this time she got it.

She exhaled. “If you don’t understand why we can’t get back together by now, then I don’t know how to help you.”

“Explain it to me then because I don’t understand it. I think we belong together. In fact, I know it.”

She mumbled something under her breath. “Stop! Just stop! When you left, life went on. I moved on,” she said. “I’m not going down this road again. I will not let myself, do you understand me?” She was raising her voice now and this wasn’t how I wanted this evening to go, so I backed off.

When neither of us spoke, Jenna took my jacket off and handed it to me. I took it and slipped it back on. “Can you take me home? Please,” she ordered.

I nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

“That’s what I want.”

On the ride back, her arms may have been wrapped around me, but there was no warmth in her embrace. She seemed a million miles away after our exchange. I knew she was hiding something from me and closing herself off because of it, but there was nothing I could do about it. I hoped in time she felt comfortable telling me what was going on, but until then I wasn’t giving up on her, us, even if that was what she thought she wanted.