Forever With You (With You #2)

Vanessa

“ Y ou’re doing all this for the bar?”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I mentally chastise myself for the desperation lacing my tone. I blame what just happened for making me feel this vulnerable and overwhelmed.

I feel like anything can set me off right now and all I want to do is get off this ride I’ve been forced on. Today has been a mindfuck. From the lecture I had to endure from Grandfather this morning to the godawful date to the attack to now Stephen offering me all of this.

My hand goes to my chest and I will myself to calm down. My chest feels tight and frankly I’m feeling a little lightheaded and nauseous. The only time I ate today was during the date and I barely touched my food for fear of an IBS flare up. Now the wine is threatening to make a reappearance and in a not so pleasant way.

I wish everything would just stop for a moment. I want nothing more than to dive under the covers and not come out for atleast a week. Now that the adrenaline has worn off, I feel the aftereffects of what just happened. My body hurts from trying to fight off Jay.

Just my luck that my attacker happened to be the guy I went out on a date with previously this week. The one who was pissed I wouldn’t sleep with him. After what Stephen just divulged about my grandfather, I would not put it past him to have had something to do with what happened tonight.

Maybe not directly. Certainly not intentionally.

Grandfather is cruel and at times a vindictive man but even he wouldn’t stoop as low as to send a mad man like that after me. Atleast I didn’t think so.

If anything, I think grandfather had let it slip prior to our date that this is where I’ve been staying, thinking nothing of it.

How would he have known that the guy was crazy enough to go after what he felt like he was owed?

Because yes. That is exactly what he said to me.

That I owed him for my time. That I should have been thanking him on my knees for his sheer consideration of someone like me.

That was all he said before he lunged for me. Thankfully the self defense class Ryder made me go to taught me a few things that allowed me to fight him off as long as I could. Unfortunately the man was nothing if not determined. He managed to grab hold of my hair and that’s when I hit him with the desk lamp right before he shoved me on the ground.

“?”

It’s said so softly that I almost miss it but when I look up and I meet his eyes, I gasp realizing he’s right there. I got so lost in my thoughts and anxiety that I missed the part where he moved closer to me. His hands squeeze mine and that’s another thing I missed.

Stephen’s strong arms engulf me in a hug and for a minute there, I let myself indulge in it. The smell of his aftershave comforts me as much as the warmth he provides with the simplest of touches.

But after what just happened, it doesn’t last long. My body stiffens involuntarily and Stephen as attuned as he is to me, understands immediately and lets go.

I feel a pinch in my chest and I wonder not for the first time what would have happened if I had just allowed myself a chance with him.

That night in La Jolla all those years ago ended with Stephen asking me out, regrettably I turned him down. He was gracious about it, we exchanged numbers and things were friendly between us for a while. We would text all time, even facetime at night sometimes. He was kind, patient and funny. All the qualities I always wished Dean was capable of.

Admittedly, I was even more of a mess back then and the only thing that held me up was my friendship with the Torres siblings. At the time, I didn’t even know they were related. I knew Ava had siblings but because she was still hiding who she was back then, I knew almost nothing about them. And my talks with Stephen always revolved around harmless flirting and witty banter. We would spend hours at night talking about everything and nothing at the same time. It was a breath of fresh air at a time when I felt like I was drowning all the time.

Until the night of the attack.

Until we both found out who the other were.

From that point on, everything changed. Stephen had felt betrayed.

At first, his mistrust of anyone outside of his circle led him to the conclusion that I had played him and was using his sister. He also strongly thought believe I had lied to him when I said I was single eventhough Dean and I were broken up the initial night.

Though time changed his views on that, the animosity between us continued to fester.

For the first years, we could barely be in the same room without one of us dropping a snide remark about the other.

All of this left me feeling guilty and angry with him at the same time. I cared a lot about him and for him to have quickly jumped to those conclusions hurt.

Which was why I held on to it all these years. It was a safe feeling. Much better than the lust or attraction that fueled our connection.

Because quite frankly, I don’t deserve Stephen.

A fact that still remains true.

But what other option do I have? It’s a year of being married to Stephen, away from my grandfather’s rule because one, Stephen would never allow it and two, my grandfather would not dare go toe to toe with a Torres.

As callous as he is, he’s well aware of their stature and influence. If there was one thing Grandfather valued more than anything, it was his image. He would do everything to protect it.

Given his need to control every aspect of my life, I doubt this would go over well but my history with the Torres family is not something he can contest or attempt to argue.

It would not be far-fetched that Stephen and I get married and difficult to disprove.

As much as I hate to admit it, this was a perfect plan.