Fractured Fear (The Devils of New York #1)

Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

SPENCER

R io’s focus doesn't stray from the attire that I’m regretting all over again. “Nice dress.”

My insides drop and do a little dance at the same time while I stare into my drink. My lungs don’t have air and I’m not angry about it.

Zane has done nothing but purchase lessons for his friend and walk around my gallery.

He also brought you lunch almost every day.

Shut up.

And Rio has been to the studio only a handful of times. So why am I breathless at the sight of them?

They have that effortless hot guy look. Zane with his faded jeans, plain black shirt, and classically beautiful face; Rio with his black jeans, heathered red tee, and bad boy countenance. They’re polar opposites in appearance, but they both make me feel alive and wanted.

That doesn’t mean I should feel secure around them, right? And why do they both have to have muscles like that? My lady bits cannot handle this much sex appeal in one room.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Zane says.

I can’t believe Iris invited them. This is going to be a disaster, I just know it. I’m going to do something dumb, or worse, watch them flirt their way through the bar. Not that I would blame another woman for noticing. I mean really, I’ve already clocked three women checking them out.

The green monster that reared its head a second ago needs to stay away.

“Hey, guys. Sorry if Iris made you feel like you had to come out here. You really didn’t.”

“We wanted to,” Zane says that as if it’s a given.

The fuck it is.

“Can we get you something to drink?” Rio asks.

“No, I’m good. I normally have a one drink limit. Tonight might be the exception with this extra one here, and after what happened over there I think I need this.” I knock back a large gulp and allow the burn to calm my nerves.

“You’re safe now.” Zane emphasizes his statement by rubbing his hand in calming circles on my bare upper back. Unfortunately, his touch has the opposite effect and my body heats at his touch.

“Really, it was nothing. My fault entirely. He touched me and I freaked out. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

“Where exactly did he touch you?” Rio asks through gritted teeth.

“I’m fine. He’s the one who walked away with a bloody nose.”

“Don’t make me ask again, Mama. Where did he touch you?” That authority from the first day makes a reappearance with his demand. Firm but not scary.

“Just my hips. Honestly, it’s okay.”

Zane leans back but doesn’t remove his hand and watches as Rio leans in close.

“He never should’ve touched what isn’t his.” Rio’s fingertips trail down my arm. His tone is menacing, but it’s not me he’s threatening. Instead of retreating back to his space, he continues to invade mine. His large hand fits perfectly over my thigh and moves with me as I squirm in place.

Zane leans in next and says, “Don’t make excuses for that sad specimen of a man. He doesn’t deserve your kindness. No other man should ever touch you.” He tucks my hair behind my ear and then settles back in his seat.

Did I just get a pep talk in consent? And why did he say, “other man?”

Jerry approaches and asks for the guys’ drink orders. They each order a Corona and silence settles in. I cannot handle this pregnant silence. They’re sitting here as if we hang out every Saturday doing just this, but I need words. So, of course, in classic Spencer fashion, I make it awkward.

“How is work going, Zane? Not that you have to tell me. Or we can talk about something else? This isn’t an interview. Not that I’m interviewing you to be my boyfriend or anything,” my eyes go wide and I try to backpedal as fast as possible. “Oh my God. I’m not holding boyfriend interviews. I don’t want you to be my boyfriend. Not that you wouldn’t make a great boyfriend if you wanted to be one. I’m sure you’re amazing,” heat washes over my face and I snap my attention forward, avoiding all eye contact. “Y’all can go sit somewhere else now and pretend not to know me.”

I dare myself to peek at Rio. He’s holding a perfectly tattooed hand over his mouth trying not to laugh.

“She’s cute when she’s nervous.” Zane volleys over my head to Rio.

“I’m going to die of embarrassment,” I whisper to myself and rest my head in my hands.

“I love how she blushes at everything.” Rio tosses back.

Covering my eyes, I plan my escape. I can say I’m not feeling well and call an Uber. I can claim I have work to catch up on.

Before I can get a word out, Zane answers my incredibly humiliating question. “Work is good. Same old, same old.”

If they can ignore my word vomit, I can too. I can be normal for one night.

Forcing myself to engage in small talk; I intentionally become oblivious to the fact that the two men on either side of me look like they just walked off a movie set. It doesn’t help that my insides are fluttering with each word oozing from their mouths.

They tell me how they met at NYU. Rio said Zane was grumpy and hated him, which isn’t all that hard to imagine.

They tell me about their other roommate, Asher, who works for the FBI and is currently traveling for work. They said I’ll meet him soon, but I don’t know if I can. If he’s anything like these two—drop dead gorgeous and charming in his own right—I won’t survive it.

As we talk, I finish my drink and decide to switch to water. I don’t need to embarrass myself further by being intoxicated in front of them. Thankfully, the scales begin to balance as they dive into embarrassing college stories of one another.

“Remember that one time you got drunk and thought the tree in Central Park was a bear and you decided you wanted to befriend it?” Rio teases Zane.

Zane turns to me. “It was my first time drinking and I accidentally got hammered”—he shoots back at Rio—“but you got nothing on me. What about the time you said the weed was safe, but it was actually laced with acid? Then during your trip, you decided it would be a great idea to get a tattoo.”

I let out an obnoxious laugh. “Which tattoo is your drunk tattoo?”

Rio winks at me and answers, “You’ll have to at least buy me a drink first if you want to see it.”

Trying to deflect the heat in his gaze I turn to Zane. “What about you? Any drunk tattoos?”

“You don’t need to buy me anything to get my shirt off, Angel.” He reaches for the hem of his shirt and I gasp at the sliver of smooth skin.

Snatching his hands with my own, I stop his stripping. “I didn’t mean you had to show me now.”

“Would you like to take me home first?”

“You’re a shameless flirt, Zane Kingston.”

“There’s no shame in flirting with a beautiful woman.”

I go to pull my hands away but he grabs my left hand and traces an invisible pattern across my skin.

“I’d like to change my answer. You don’t need to buy me a drink. I’ll take my pants off for you for free.” Rio’s humor breaks the moment, and we all laugh. I turn towards Rio and he places his hand back on my thigh, at the same time a warm arm is laid across my shoulders.

After a few minutes I realize I’m not bothered by their touch. There are no memories of pain, no panic about knowing a potential escape route, just intoxicating pleasure.

These men are different, and if I’m not careful I’ll get too comfortable. Being comfortable means letting my guard down, which means they can get close. Close enough to cause real damage. I can’t become complacent.

Excusing myself, I dart to the bathroom. I think I hide my emotions well but these two read me like an open book. As much as they scare me, I want them to stick around. I don’t want to scare them off with the constant back and forth in my mind. It’s giving me whiplash, so I’m sure they’ll grow tired of it too.

Thankfully the bathroom is clear so I’m able to do my business in peace. As I’m washing my hands, I hear the door open and close with a click. When I look up into the mirror, Rio is standing there with his arms crossed and his back resting on the door.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, little Mama?”

Keeping eye contact with his reflection I answer, “Nothing I’m fine.”

He approaches with measured steps and an energy that makes my heart pick up speed. He grabs my hips and steps up so his front is flush with my back.

“Is this how he touched you?”

Unable to speak, I frantically nod and my heart continues to race. But this time with a man’s hands on my hips, it’s not fear I’m feeling, it’s excitement. Anticipation. I allow myself to give in a little and lean back into his firm chest.

“What about like this?” Rio moves my hair to my right shoulder and leisurely runs his lips up the length of my neck. I gasp when he finds that spot right below my ear and sucks.

“Answer me, Spencer.”

“No,” I breathe out.

“Good girl.”

I’m not going to live through this. He’s going to kill me from praise alone. I never thought I’d be into that kind of thing, but apparently, I am. I guess I wouldn't know if I was into certain things, having never felt the urge to explore. That, and if I had felt an urge to explore, it would have been shut down in my previous relationship. I knew only what he liked, what he wanted to do.

“Now tell me what’s going on.”

“Huh?” Rio has single handedly emptied my brain.

His right arm bands around my middle securing me to him while his left hand measuredly travels up to cup my breast. His thumb begins to swipe back and forth over my peaked nipple. This dress didn’t have room for a bra so the only thing between his thumb and my chest is a thin piece of fabric.

“Why did you run off?”

Pushing myself to think through the jolts of electricity he’s sending straight to my clit, I answer. “I just needed to pee.” I shut my eyes thinking he won’t be able to see the lie.

“Be honest.”

I’m torn between anxiety and pleasure. I roll my lips inward to keep the truth inside. I don’t want him and Zane to know how fucked up in the head I am and bolt. No one else has ever made me feel safe. No one else has ever tried. I can’t lose that.

“You can tell me.”

“I’m waiting for you and Zane to realize how much of a mess I am and give up on me. But I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

“You won’t lose us, Spencer. Neither of us are going anywhere.” Zane’s voice snaps my eyes open. I didn’t even hear him come in, but he’s right here next to us. His firm body crowds Rio and me from the side.

Tears gather and I will them to stay put. I don’t want to ruin my makeup and have everyone know I was in here crying when I leave, but one slips free and runs down to my neck. Rio licks up my tear without thought then begins placing open mouth kisses up and down my neck.

Zane’s mouth descends on the other side and traces my neck with his tongue. His hand squeezes my other breast and I get lost in the sensation of their hands on me for a moment. My panties are soaking. My body melting under their touch.

Oh my God. What am I doing?

I jump away and start backing up to my exit. Now instead of just one predator tracking my movements, there’s two.

“Seems the party moved in here and no one invited me. Figured I’d join in on the fun.” Zane grins at us.

Why is he smiling right now?

“It’s not what it looked like. I—and Rio?—”

“It’s exactly what it looked like,” Rio interjects.

“This isn’t happening,” I say to myself as I turn my attention to the graffitied wall. Then a set of calloused hands pull my attention back to them.

“Don’t hide your eyes from me, Angel. I can’t take it.”

Why does he have to say such sweet things?

“You must think I’m a slut.”

“Why would I think that?” His head tilts in a way that I have come to know is uniquely Zane.

“Because!”

He quirks a brow in response.

“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

Still nothing. Damn him.

“Because we…you know…earlier today. And then me and Rio just now and you,” I throw my hands at my sides. “God! I’m one woman. You’re friends. I don’t want to get in between that, and there’s no way I can choose. You both make me feel comfortable and I just…I can’t?—”

I feel heat at my back and a set of arms wrap around me offering comfort.

“We would never make you choose, Spencer.” Rio’s statement doesn’t soothe me as he intended. Instead, my confusion reaches a new height.

“You’re kidding, right? This is some practical joke. No man would be okay with something like that.”

“Who hurt you, Mama?”

“What?”

“Someone must have messed with your beautiful brain real good to give you such a narrow-minded view.”

Rio’s question jars me. What am I doing? If he ever found me he would be furious. Doesn’t matter that I made it clear we were over. He would hurt them just to teach me a lesson.

That’s the type of man I know. The type of man who would never be okay sharing.

Just another reminder that his level of possessiveness was toxic and destructive. I can’t bring that kind of destruction here to rain down on Rio and Zane, that’s not fair to them. I need to redraw the lines in the sand so they understand. We’re friends. No almost-kisses, no nipple rubs, no delicious lips running up and down my neck…Nope. None of that.

I sidestep both of them again and continue my path to the door. “No one, don’t worry about it. I should get going anyways. I have paperwork to catch up on tomorrow, suppliers to pay, payroll to do, and all that, so I’m just going to catch a cab and head home. This was fun, but we shouldn’t. We’re all just friends, right? Friends don’t kiss and…” I hesitate to find the appropriate words for what I’ve done with them. “Stuff. So let’s pretend it never happened, okay? Start over.” I finally bump into the door and grasp the handle like a lifeline.

They stalk towards me as if they know I’m about to run.

Rio responds first. “I’m not forgetting shit, Spencer.”

“Me either.” Zane adds.

“This isn’t over. We’ll give you space if you need it, but be prepared because we’re talking all of this out. We’re not quitting. We know you’re scared, but you’re safe with us.”

They’re getting too close. If they touch me again, I’ll cave and give in to whatever wild fantasy my mind can conjure and it’s conjured quite a bit in the last ten seconds.

“Awesome. Talk later. Bye!” Before I know it I’m sprinting out of the bathroom and through the bar. I spot Iris and signal that I’m heading home. She gives me a pout seeing that I’m leaving alone but then smiles. Suspiciously so. I peer over my shoulder and see two men pursuing me. The same two men I left in the bathroom, or thought I left.

No way am I letting them follow me home.

I dart out of the bar and thank the man upstairs that there’s someone getting out of a cab at that same moment. I dive right in and spout off my address.

As the car drives away, I peek behind me through the window and see them standing there in the street. Rio with his arms folded and Zane with his hand in his pockets; both have a determined look on their faces.

I have a feeling that determination isn’t targeted at trailing me home. It’s directed at me in general, and I’m not so sure Safe Spencer will survive their plans.