Fractured Fear (The Devils of New York #1)

Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

SPENCER

“ T hat’s not what it looked like. It was nothing,” Asher says.

Well that was a blow to my ego. Unfortunately for Asher, I don’t forget easily. “Yeah the way you shoved your tongue down my throat really felt like nothing.”

Even though he won’t look at me, I can see how my words affect him. His jaw ticks and the muscles in his back tense. I know I’m being a brat, but he doesn’t get to kiss me like that and then say it was nothing.

I’m a tangle of arms and legs as I try to stand up from the couch. I love this couch, but comfortable cushions do not make good stepping stones.

“If you say so,” Rio says unconvinced. “Now, Mama. What’s this I hear about you running?”

Frozen in my awkward position, I reluctantly meet Rio’s gaze. He’s trying to be his normal playful self, but I can see the hurt. He thought I was leaving him when it was the opposite. Accepting what they mean to me, means I have to go.

He nods to the envelopes scattered at Asher’s feet. “What are those?”

“Nothing,” I answer quickly. At the same time Asher says, “Goodbye letters.”

I scramble over the edge of the couch and immediately go to my hands and knees to gather the envelopes before any more can be read. “They’re nothing,” I say more firmly. Before I can reach Rio’s, he swipes it off the floor.

“I believe this belongs to me. I mean it has my name on it and everything. So I would say it’s safe to assume it’s mine,” Rio says the last part to Asher.

“I would agree with that reasoning,” Asher replies.

I jump to my feet and snatch the letter from Rio. “No, it’s mine until I decide to give it to you.”

“I think that was the plan when you left it on the desk downstairs,” Asher snaps. I glare at him over my shoulder.

“I apologized for that.” It’s a shitty comeback, and we both know I’ll be apologizing for a long time.

Until you’re able to actually leave.

While I’m arguing with Asher, Rio slips up and grabs the rest of the letters from my hands.

“Hey!” I shout and dive at him, but Asher’s arms circle my waist and lift me up against his chest.

“No you don’t, Princess.”

“Stop calling me that!” I shout as I kick my feet wildly. I don’t want to hurt him, but I wouldn’t be upset if I did.

“You didn’t seem to mind it earlier.”

“Oh, now it’s not nothing , huh? Well fuck you, you asshole!” I flail about in his arms to no avail, and I’m not entirely sure I want to leave the warmth of his embrace. Even if it’s not entirely comforting at the moment.

No, bad Spencer. We do not cave to the grumpy overgrown man who has the emotional capacity of a teaspoon.

I hear a rip and my attention jerks to Rio opening all of the letters. “Oh my God! Stop!”

“What’s the big deal? It’s not like I’m reading your diary.”

“Yes, it is!”

“Eh. Not really,” he is silent while he reads. “That’s really nice of you to leave everything to Hayes, but that won’t be necessary. You’re not going anywhere, chica .” He crumples the letter and tosses it to the floor.

“Rio!” I’m tired of explaining this. Once is enough. Asher can go spill to the other two over some tea like the meddling old ladies they are.

Very hot and sexy old ladies though.

Ugh. Not now. My vagina cannot be the one in control right now.

“SPENCER!”

All our heads snap to the door which is still open. Footsteps thunder up the stairs. Why are Rio and Asher not alarmed by the angry man charging up here?

“SPENCER!”

“Somebody’s in trouble,” Rio singsongs from the kitchen.

“What?” Asher’s arms fall away from my waist and my gaze zaps around the room, looking for something I could use as a weapon. I really should buy some candlesticks. One of those would be perfect right about now.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Zane appear in the doorway, but my relief is short-lived. His hair is disheveled, his shirt is untucked and wrinkled, and his eyes are plagued. His gaze snaps to me and takes in my appearance. I know what he sees. Studio clothes, flushed cheeks, swollen lips, but then he glances down and sees the bags I packed; the rage in his voice comes back

“You thought you could leave me?” His nostrils flares and he advances on me kicking the door shut behind him. “What was your plan, Spence? Huh?”

Slow steps carry me backwards down the hall. I’m tired of these men backing me into a corner, but when approached by a predator you back away, and that’s exactly what he is right now. A predator.

The hurt I caused is there, but he’s covering it with the anger radiating from him.

Isn’t that what anger usually is? Hurt that we try to hide. We think no one will see what we deem as weakness, but it couldn’t be more obvious with a flashing neon sign.

Instinctively I bring my hands up in front of me, but my subtle sign doesn’t deter him. He’s on me before I reach my bedroom. He grasps my hands in his and brings them to his hard chest. The pounding of his heart underneath his sculpted muscle hammers against my palm.

“Why? Tell me why.” Zane pleads. His voice is wrought with emotion, but is still harsh.

“I was trying to keep you all safe. Damn you fucking stubborn men! Just let me go and you’ll all be safe!” I'm losing it. I can’t keep explaining myself like a broken record. How many times do I have to tell them until they fucking get it? They’re not safe with me around. Anthony will always follow me.

“She thought she was protecting us from Anthony,” Asher chimes in.

“You were going to leave us because of him? That pathetic waste of space?” Zane asks even more enraged, but his solid grip on my hands doesn’t turn painful. Even in his anger, he’s mindful of me.

“Why does it feel like y’all know him?” I ask skeptically.

“We looked him up last night after we left,” Rio says like it’s no big deal as he keeps reading my letters.

“You had no right! What if he finds out? If he wasn’t already here, he definitely is now. I really have to go. I can’t stay here.” My mind begins to spiral.

Before, I could at least lie to myself saying that he had the flowers delivered meaning I still had time to get away, but now there’s no fooling myself. He had a private jet that he used so he could travel at the last minute if needed.

“Not fucking happening, Angel.” With Zane’s declaration he bends down and throws me over his shoulder. One moment I’m upright and the next I’m staring at his in-shape ass.

“Zane! What the hell? Put me down!” He ignores me and continues his march while I carry on with my futile attempts. Then, for the second time today, I land with a bounce on the couch as Zane plops me down.

When I try to sit up, he’s on me. He has my arms pinned above my head and my legs wrapped up in his before I can even blink. So much for all those boxing and self defense lessons. Why can’t my traitorous body be on my side for once when it comes to these men?

“Zane, get off of me.” I buck my hips, but he doesn’t budge.

“No. Not until you promise.”

“Seriously?” My question comes out as a screech. This is ridiculous. Pin me down until I agree? We’ll be here for a while then. They want to be headstrong cavemen? Well, two can play at that game. Or four. Whatever.

“Promise you won’t try to leave.”

Oh my God. They’ve lost their minds. Is no one else seeing the huge bubble of danger surrounding me? It’s like they want a ticket for this crazy ride that leads straight to their deaths.

“She’s never going to agree to that,” Asher says with a sigh as if I’m the one being difficult. Well fuck him. They’re the difficult ones.

“Promise me. Please.” It’s not Zane’s words that have the guilt eating at me. It’s the pain in his tone. My soft, quiet Zane is begging me not to break what we have built, what I have actively tried to avoid building with him. It’s hard to resist when the other party is so pushy, but have I really tried resisting? They make me smile. The warmth and security I feel when in their arms is on a level I’ve never felt before. Why should I have to give that up?

So they live to see tomorrow.

“I can’t,” I choke out with tears gathering in my eyes.

For a moment I think he’s going to let me go, save himself and his family. Part of my heart breaks at the thought. I want them to choose me. Fight for me. But that’s Selfish Spencer talking. I can’t be selfish here. They come first.

Zane lets out a breath rebuilding his resolve. He’s not letting me go. I’m half relieved, half scared. Relieved because he really does want me. He’s willing to fight for me. I’ve never had that before. Even Abuela was only able to do so much. I’d beg and plead to be able to stay with her when the summers would end, but she’d always send me back to Mom.

The other half is scared because these men may as well have signed their own death certificates. Anthony will do whatever it takes to get to me. It’s a miracle he’s left Mom alone all these years, but I know it’s her lack of knowledge that has saved her.

“I can do tonight. Asher, you still good for the rest of the day?” Zane asks.

“Yeah, I have a few more days until I have to be back at the office.”

“Rio?” Zane asks.

“I’ll come with you tonight. It’ll be nice to finally sleep without my legs being crammed against my chest in your car. I’m afraid that one day I won’t be able to stand up straight anymore,” Rio jests.

“What are y’all talking about?” I interject, but they ignore me and keep discussing amongst themselves.

“When I go back to work, Rio, can you be here?” Asher takes over the directions.

“ No hay lugar donde prefiera estar ,” Rio answers with a smile.

“Z, you got the weekend?”

“I’m all over it,” Zane gives my wrists a squeeze. “I can have some patrols drive by during the day as well,” he adds.

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here!”

They all look at me. Their attention is almost too much. Having the attention of these three powerful men is intoxicating. I don’t know if I ever felt anything else quite like it. It’s like they’re moments away from pouncing, but at the same time I’m the one in charge here. My next sentence comes out breathy even though I’m going for assertive. “No one is staying the night, and I don’t need a bodyguard.”

“Could have fooled me,” Asher scoffs.

“You really think we’re going to leave you alone after this stunt today? Estás más loca de lo que pensé. ”

“Ugh! You infuriating, dumb, alpha men!”

“I take that as a compliment,” Asher comments.

“Angel, look at me,” Zane’s plea tugs at my heart and I can’t stop myself from complying. “Don’t deny me this. I need to protect you. We need to protect you. We’re going to do it whether you like it or not. It’s up to you if this goes smoothly or we handcuff you to one of us twenty-four-seven.”

I narrow my eyes at him and challenge, “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me. You think it was fun getting Asher’s text that he couldn’t find you? I broke every traffic law in this fucking state to get here. You won’t be without one of us until you can promise you won’t run. Even then, one of us will still be here, but without the threat of handcuffs.”

He better fucking not. Fuck no. “Try it Zane Kingston, and see what fucking happens.” I hope my threat actually comes across as threatening.

It doesn’t.

A wide smile spreads across Zane’s mouth, lighting up his face. “Does my Angel have claws?”

“I’m not joking here.”

“Neither am I.” He shifts my wrists into one hand and reaches back behind him with his free hand. When that hand comes back into view, the clink of metal rings in my ears. Dangling from his index finger is a set of handcuffs.

“Fine,” I spew through gritted teeth.