Fractured Memories (Badge of Honor #1)

Chapter 20

TWENTY

The next morning, Felicity eased the screen door shut behind her as she stepped onto the back porch of Imogene’s home. Dew coated the grass, and the air was heavy with the scent of pine and fresh earth. Raindrops peppered the wood, exposed to the elements beyond the shelter of the roof. The sky was moody. Clouds drifted quickly, and a breeze ruffled the edges of Felicity’s ponytail. One good thing about the rain was a drop in temperatures.

The house inside was quiet. Imogene, Amber, and Harper had all gone to church service. Felicity had also wanted to attend, but after the bank bombing last night, determined it’d be safer for everyone if she stayed on the ranch. The last thing she wanted was to put more innocent civilians at risk.

She sipped her coffee. Her dreams had been haunted by images from the last few days, intermingled with brief pieces of memories from the night Brooke was murdered. Felicity had woken and immediately written her impressions. She glanced over the page. The porch swing rocked gently when she pushed it with her foot.

“Morning.” Noah strolled across the yard. He was dressed in jeans and mud-covered cowboy boots. A soft T-shirt molded to every one of his powerful muscles, his hair was mussed, and a beard shadowed his jaw. He must’ve been caring for the horses in the barn. Milo trotted at his side.

Felicity’s heart stuttered at the sight of Noah and then took rapid flight. The man had the power to undo her with just a glance. It was heady. Intoxicating. She wanted to drown in the warmth in his eyes and forget about every ounce of trouble plaguing her. But that wasn’t possible. Not while there was a killer on the loose and a woman missing. “Any word on Melanie?”

Noah’s expression darkened. “Nothing yet.”

Disappointment pinched her. Milo plopped down on the porch with a sigh and promptly went to sleep. The Lab pup was clearly exhausted. “You tuckered him out.”

“Finally.” Noah’s boots thumped against the porch steps. “It only took all morning.”

She chuckled and then forced her gaze back down to the paper clutched in her hands. “I had dreams. About Brooke. I wrote some of my impressions, but I’m not sure how accurate they are.”

He joined her on the porch swing. “Let’s hear it.”

“Voices arguing.” Felicity set her coffee cup down on the side table. “Two, at least. Maybe more. Brooke shouted something along the lines of ‘You can’t do this.’ And then the sound of gunshots.” Panic swelled inside of her, as real as the day Brooke was murdered, but she battled it back. She was safe. Here with Noah. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. “I remember hearing a man’s voice. I don’t know whose though.”

“That fits with our current theory that Daniel killed his sister.”

Felicity nodded and folded the paper. She bit her lip. “And Jeremy?”

“I think he witnessed the crime, just like you did. The DNA came back on the shirt this morning. It was Brooke’s. I suspect Jeremy attempted to provide first aid, but you interrupted him. Maybe Jeremy heard the killer coming back?”

She nodded. “Whatever happened, he was trying to shield me.”

“Agreed. Jeremy must’ve hid too; otherwise I think the killer would’ve shot him on the spot. Chances are, he didn’t know about either of you until after the fact. Since Jeremy was paranoid, the police wouldn’t have taken him seriously if he’d come forward. There was no reason to kill him.”

“And now?”

“Now there’s you.” Noah wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “Your memories combined with Jeremy’s may have been enough to identify the killer. Daniel’s worried. He’s cleaning house, probably getting ready to leave the country once all the loose ends are tied up.”

“You’re convinced he’s the leader of Triple 6? ”

“It’s looking more and more like it. The drug dogs Grady had run through the property found traces of opioids, and the more Jax digs into Daniel’s finances, the more he discovers. Apparently, Daniel owns several shell corporations that own land adjoining the state park. A lot of drug dealers use state parks to shield their activities since there aren’t enough rangers to patrol the areas.” Noah frowned. “We’re working on searching all the known properties for Melanie. Nothing yet.”

It all fit, but something about the theory bugged her. Felicity couldn’t distinguish what though. “I’d like to go over all the evidence in the case file again from the beginning. We may be overlooking something that could help.”

“Okay.” Noah tugged her closer. “But first, we’re going to sit here and enjoy this morning. Just for a second.”

She sighed and leaned into his embrace. He smelled of horse and hay, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Strangely enough, it was comforting. “I’m sorry about Jeremy.” Responsibility and guilt twisted her insides. “I should’ve realized he was in danger.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. I missed it too.” He was quiet for several heartbeats. “His paranoia… it was a difficult disease for him to handle. I would never have wished him harm and Jeremy didn’t deserve what happened to him, but I pray he’s at peace now.”

“So do I.”

Noah brushed a kiss across the top of her head. He reached around and plucked her coffee cup from the side table, taking a sip before handing it to her. The intimacy of the action wasn’t lost on Felicity. Tenderness swept through her. She tilted her head back to see his face. The strong jaw line and straight nose. His perfectly formed lips.

As if reading the train of her thoughts, Noah’s hand lifted. His fingers brushed the sensitive skin along her cheekbone. He dipped his head and kissed her. Just a light brush of his lips against hers, but Felicity’s pulse skyrocketed.

Noah backed away and smiled. “I’d kiss you more, but Nathan and Jason are on patrol again. No need to give them a show.”

Her cheeks flushed. Felicity’s gaze shot to the yard. There was no sign of the two men, but that didn’t mean they weren’t close by. Military guys knew how to stay hidden. “I feel bad they were tramping around in the rain last night.”

“They took shifts. Aunt Imogene made sure they had plenty of coffee and food. She also set up cots in one of the spare bedrooms.” Noah pushed the swing with his foot to send them rocking. “But I’m thinking of throwing a party after this is all over. Just to show my appreciation.”

“That sounds nice.”

He took the coffee from her hand and sipped it. Silence descended between them, broken only by the faint patter of raindrops and birdsong. Felicity sighed. The peacefulness of the moment stole over her. She tried to remind herself not to get too attached. To Noah or this land. But it was difficult to deny the yearning in her heart. Playing with Harper last night had driven home just how much she wanted to be a part of their lives. She wasn’t just falling in love with Noah. She’d fallen in love with his daughter too.

A part of her desperately wanted to talk about her feelings. Another part was terrified to. Felicity bit her lip, indecision warring within her. Before she could decide how to handle it, Noah cleared his throat. “I’ve been praying this morning.”

She glanced up at him again. “About the case?”

“No.” He scoffed. “Although that should’ve been at the forefront of my mind. Trouble is, I’m finding it harder and harder to concentrate on anything except you.”

She froze as her mind went blank. Noah licked his lips nervously, his fingers playing with the edge of her sleeve. The brush of his hand against her bare skin, coupled with his sudden declaration, was beyond distracting. Felicity backed away from his embrace. “I don’t understand.”

Noah swallowed. “Forget it. We agreed to postpone discussing us until after the case was over?—”

“No.” She tried to meet his gaze, but he avoided her eyes. Her stomach sank. “You and I have always been good about tackling hard issues. Letting this linger between us has been necessary, but with Chief Garcia and Grady taking over the investigation, it’s a good time to talk. So let’s do it. Finish what you were about to say.”

He was quiet for a long moment. Noah’s gaze drifted across the pasture, and he absently played with the end of his ring finger. “When Sally died, I was determined never to become involved in another romantic relationship. You remember. I was devastated.”

She remembered. Noah had loved Sally with all of his heart. It’d taken months before he even smiled again. Caring for Harper had helped him keep going, but his pain had been raw.

Was Noah about to tell her that he couldn’t move on? Felicity’s gut clenched tight, and she braced herself for him to say the words. No crying. She’d known this was a possibility right from the get-go. Felicity breathed out. “What you and Sally had was very special.”

“It was.” Noah’s voice was soft. He smiled absently. “Aunt Imogene was right. You’re the only person I can think of who would understand.” Now he met her gaze. “I didn’t think I could ever be with someone else, Fee, but I was wrong. I’m falling in love with you.”

The words stunned her. “You love me?”

He nodded. “I’ve been too scared to admit it because the idea of losing you… it’s terrifying.”

Fear gripped her then. Ice cold and fierce, it stole her breath. Everything she wanted was right there, within reach, but she didn’t know how to stretch out her hand. Instead, she rose to her feet. Took several steps across the porch to the railing. Raindrops peppered her bare skin, causing goosebumps to rise. “I can’t guarantee something won’t happen to me, Noah.”

“Of course you can’t. That’s why I’ve been praying. A lot. I have to put my faith in God and trust that He’ll guide me through whatever comes our way.” The swing creaked as Noah rose. “Fee. Look at me. ”

She turned on her heel. Her heart shot into her throat, stealing her breath. Noah stood tall and strong and capable. He was everything she’d ever wanted in a man. His kindness and caring were unmatched. He made her laugh, comforted her when things were bad, and took responsibility for his actions. And yet the distance between them was like a gulf. Was she good enough?

Trust in God.

Once again, Cassie’s advice rang in Felicity’s head. Noah was essentially saying the same thing. She should lean into her faith and grasp this happiness with both hands. But knowing what she should do and actually doing it were two different things. She breathed in once. Twice. Noah had taken a leap by sharing his fears with her. It was only right she do the same.

Felicity straightened her spine. “My career is my life. It’s guided my choices since I graduated from college. I don’t know any other way to be.” She chewed on the inside of her lip. “My dad loved me, but I spent a lot of my childhood feeling alone because his career was his priority. I want a family, Noah—” Emotion clogged her throat and she struggled to keep ahold of herself. “I’m falling in love with you too. But you may find being in a relationship with me disappointing.”

“No, Fee.” He moved closer and reached for her hand. Placed it over his heart. The steady beat thumped against her palm. “For starters, you could never be a disappointment. I know being raised by a single dad was lonely, but you guys didn’t have anyone other than each other. Harper and I have family who love and support us. We aren’t expecting you to be our everything.” His mouth quirked up at the corners. “Nor would I ever want you to give up your job. Law enforcement is your calling, same as me. I know a little something about how difficult it can be to balance home and work life.”

Some of the weight pressing down on her lifted as hope blossomed. “Do you…” She lifted her gaze to his. “You think we can do this?”

“Yes. I’m not promising it’ll be easy. We’re both going to make mistakes along the way. Forgiveness is part of the bargain.” He trailed a finger along her hairline. “Honesty too. Whatever fears we have, we share them with each other. And God. Doing that will help us know what steps to take.”

She smiled. “Trust in God.”

“Yes. And each other.” He met her gaze. “I love you, Felicity.”

“I love you too.”

Noah tilted closer to kiss her, but his cell phone rang, interrupting their special moment. He growled and yanked it from his pocket before glancing at the screen. “It’s my aunt.” He held up a finger. “One minute.”

He answered. Felicity couldn’t hear Imogene’s words, but her panicked tone filtered from the phone’s speaker. She crossed the porch to Noah’s side.

Blood leeched from his face. He met her gaze. An indescribable feeling gripped her as she registered the terror in his eyes. “What happened?”

“Harper’s missing.”