From the Shadows (Hunters #1)

Chapter 4

“Why don’t you like Shay?” Jeremy asked, as he popped a slice of apple into his mouth.

“What?” Diego knew this question was coming. He’d been avoiding Shay for nearly a month now. “I don’t even know him.”

“Right, but he’s been here a while, and you haven’t come down to dinner once. He’s an awesome cook. Last night he made these meatballs out of beans, and covered them in some kind of gravy, then put them on these huge buns—he called them hoagies—and served them with mushrooms, onions, and peppers.”

Diego scowled. “You never eat beans. You said you hated them.”

When Jeremy’s cheeks pinked, Diego had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing. “Shay knows how to make things that taste really good, but he didn’t try to hide they were beans. He asked me to taste them before I decided I didn’t like them.”

“And you did?”

“No. I refused. He said he’d make me something else, but… well, I think I hurt his feelings, and I really like Shay, so I took a bite.”

“And what did you think about them?”

Jerm’s eyes went huge. “Dude, I loved them. You missed a good dinner.” He glanced down at the game controller sitting on the couch beside him. “Shay thinks you hate him.”

Goddamn it. Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut? “I don’t hate him, Jerm. I just… I don’t get along with humans.”

Pleading eyes turned toward Diego. “But why ?” he asked. “How many do you know? I mean, Shay’s doing everything he can to make this place—” He mumbled something.

“Make it what?”

“A home” came the snarled reply, Jerm’s anger a thing to behold. “He’s always here, never has to run off for days or weeks on end. He plays games with me, he’s teaching me cursive writing, and he’s way more patient than any of you.”

And that went straight to Diego’s heart. They’d all tried so hard to give Jeremy a home, to make him feel like he was part of this weird and dysfunctional family, and now this human waltzes in and suddenly Jeremy says what they’ve been hoping to hear for years.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Jeremy’s breath hitched and his eyes went wide. “That’s not how I meant it, D.”

But it probably was. Jerm needed the stability Shay provided, and Diego couldn’t be jealous of it. He’d asked Empatia to find someone to fill that slot, but did Shay have to be so damn good at it? Everyone said that Shay was a fucking godsend. That he’d taken the place and turned it into his own.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

“No, really. He’s just…. He’s a good guy, D. If you’d stop hiding in your room and give him a chance, you’d?—”

That was enough. All Diego had heard was how amazing Shay was, how great he was, how wonderful. Incredible. He was sick to death of hearing about Shay Nowak. It was never going to get better. The longer he stayed here, the more attached Jerm would get, and the more Diego would lose him.

Empatia?

Yes?

Please tell Mr. Biggs I appreciate the faith he’s shown in me over the years, but I can’t do this anymore. I’ll have my stuff out of the house by tonight .

Diego, we can discuss ? —

By tonight, E. You’ve been a pain in my ass, but you’re a great therapist. I wish you the best.

He stood, ignoring Empatia’s voice in his head. “Jerm, you’re going to have to leave. I have things I need to do.”

“Diego—”

He sucked in a breath. Why did he feel like his heart was being ripped out? He reached for Jeremy, who launched himself into Diego’s arms.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I love you.”

Diego let Jeremy go, then put a hand on his lower back and guided him toward the door. He didn’t—couldn’t—return the sentiment. He hadn’t loved anyone but his parents in the last three hundred years, and that was before—no, he wasn’t going to think about that now.

“Diego, no. Don’t do this.”

He gently pushed Jerm out in the hall, then closed the door behind him with a soft, yet deafening, click of finality. He turned away from the sound of Jeremy beating his hand against the door and the plaintive begging. Eventually he’d understand, and then he’d give up and go to Shay, who’d probably make him some fucking cookies and sit at the counter with him while Jerm drank a big glass of ice cold milk and cried about what a dick Diego was, only to turn and throw himself into Shay’s arms and receive the comfort.

That was okay. At least he’d understand that Diego never loved him. Wasn’t capable of loving him. He went to the bedroom and grabbed his duffel bag. He’d only take a few things. It wasn’t as though a vampire needed a lot of stuff, right? He didn’t need the pictures that Jerm drew and Diego had used to decorate his room. He didn’t need the clay sculpture that sat on the mantel of the fireplace. What the hell had Jeremy said it was? Oh, a cow. With four different lengths of legs, a head that had to be glued on because it was too big and too cumbersome, and eyes that Jeremy had made of some rock chips he’d found at the lake and fell in love with because of their shine .

Nope, all Diego was going to need were the clothes he stuffed into the bag, his personal cell phone, and…. He peered up at the mantel once more. There was a picture there that Diego had taken. One of his team and Jerm standing and laughing as they made bunny ears over each other’s heads. He remembered that day. How Jerm had squawked when he found out he had six pairs of rabbit ears.

He wasn’t going to need any of these things, but…. He slid the picture into his bag. Better to take it with him than to have them break it when they threw the rest of his stuff out, right? He cocked his head, straining to hear any sound. Nothing. Jeremy was no longer at his door. That would make getting out easier. He’d head for the garage and take his personal vehicle, a beat-to-shit 1999 Toyota Camry that Sparks had initially refused to have in his space.

Then Diego’d head out into a city he’d never given more than a glance at as they drove to the airport for a mission. He’d be able to lose himself in the throng of people, if it wasn’t for the fact that it was probably all humans.

Fucking humans. Everything they touched turned to trash.

But… that wasn’t totally fair. It wasn’t a human who’d made Diego into… this, but it had been human foibles. His own. He pushed the thoughts out of his head. He’d spent hundreds of years regretting that night, and to think about it now would be his undoing. He needed to get out while he could.

He needed to protect them all, especially Jeremy. That’s all there was to it. He glanced around his place one more time, remembering the day he’d been asked to become one of the team. How he’d thought maybe he’d finally found a place someone like him belonged. How he’d dared get his hopes up.

Only to have them dashed once more.

He pulled open his door, and there stood a tiny chicken of a man, his birdlike chest puffed out in a failed display of arrogance and domination.

“What the fuck did you do to Jeremy?” Shay demanded .

Shay knew Jeremy shouldn’t have confronted Diego. He was only seven, and it wasn’t fair he was caught between Shay and Diego, but he’d been the one to make that choice, even after Shay had told him not to.

“But he should like you. We all do!”

“And I appreciate that, but not everyone is going to want to be friends with everyone else. We’re adults, and we’ll handle our situation that way.”

Only, it hadn’t worked out like that. Every time Shay wanted to talk to Diego, the bastard disappeared or wouldn’t answer his door. No matter how hot he was, no man was worth chasing. Shay’d gotten to the point where he told himself it no longer mattered if Diego liked him or not. He had a job to do, and he had Jeremy to look after. And the kid was the most important thing.

Then when he showed up at Shay’s door, those deep chocolate brown eyes swimming in tears, an insane anger swept through Shay. He listened as Jeremy told the story, which came in fits and bursts. How he’d asked Diego why he didn’t like Shay, and how Diego had pushed him out the door and then locked it! He never locked his door or ignored Jeremy. Then he admitted he wanted to shapeshift and slip under the door, but he was too upset to focus and kept messing up.

For several long minutes, he sobbed into Shay’s shoulder, whimpering about how he couldn’t lose Diego, and he was afraid Diego was going to leave and he’d never see him again. Finally, Jeremy cried himself out and fell asleep on Shay’s sofa. A bitter anger swept through Shay as he stared down at Jeremy. He went to the closet and pulled out a nice, fluffy red blanket he used to cover Jeremy, then ruffled his hair gently, before he stormed out of his place and headed for the person who started the whole mess.

When Diego answered the door, Shay hesitated. He looked like crap. His eyes were bloodshot, his hand shook, and he stooped when he walked, unlike the other times Shay had seen him and his cocky swagger. It didn’t matter how bad Shay felt, though. He had a burning question that needed to be answered.

“What the fuck did you do to Jeremy? ”

Diego drew in a breath, and Shay braced himself for the man’s venom. Instead, he seemed to get even smaller.

“Go home, Shay. I’ll be out of your hair soon, and you can go ahead and have my family.”

The words were almost whispered, so unlike anything Shay had heard from Diego to this point. “Wait. What? I don’t want your?—”

“You’ve already got Jeremy all messed up.”

“Me?” Shay snorted. “I wasn’t the one he was crying over a few minutes ago, dude. You can’t lay this at my feet.”

“No, you’re right. Let him blame me. It’s better for everyone if he forgets me.”

This wasn’t Diego. At least not the one who’d once helped slay a literal dragon.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“Leaving. This place isn’t for me anymore.” He shook his head. “No, it was never for me. I shouldn’t have played at being normal.”

All the righteous anger Shay had built up slid out of him. “You know you can talk to me, right? I’d like to help.”

“Help?” Diego’s eyes gleamed. “You’re the fucking problem! I was fine until you showed up.”

“So what’s wrong with me?” Shay demanded, his fury bubbling up once again. “I’ve done everything I can to make the house nice. I have a crew come in to clean, and I work right alongside them. I don’t ask anyone to do something I’m not willing to do myself! Everyone seems okay with me, except you. What did I do that pissed you off so bad?”

Before he could even register the movement, Diego surged forward, wrapped a hand around his throat, and slammed Shay against the wall. His eyes were dark, and when his lip curled, Shay caught sight of the fangs. Diego was hungry, and now Shay was on the menu.

“Diego,” he croaked out. “Don’t do this. Think of Jeremy.”

It didn’t seem as though it mattered. Diego leaned in close, his mouth perilously close to Shay’s throat. The tip of one of his incisors nicked Shay’s skin, and the warmth of a drop of blood trickled down his neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the bite, but then Diego pushed Shay aside and backed away, his eyes wide.

“I’m sorry!” he rushed out. “Fuck, get out of here.”

Something was tearing him up inside, of this Shay was certain.

“Diego, I?—”

He turned, his face twisted, his fangs ready. “I said, get the fuck out of here! It’s all I can do to not take you now. I hear your blood singing, taunting me.”

Some self-preservation instinct told Shay to run, to hide, but he’d stopped being afraid a long time ago. “Diego, talk to me. What’s going on?”

He shook his head harshly. “I’m starving, okay? I want to drain you so fucking bad, and I don’t know if I can control it anymore! That’s why I can’t be around humans, all right? The blood…. I can hear it rushing through your veins, and I fucking hunger.”

He said can’t, not that he didn’t want to. “You don’t hate humans.”

He peered up at Shay, and the truth revealed itself. Diego was hurting, probably lonely.

“No, I don’t. That’s why I have to stay away. You don’t know how hard it is, starving and seeing a smorgasbord that you can’t touch.”

“You’ve been refusing to eat for hundreds of years? How is that possible?”

So much pain was etched on Diego’s face. “For a while, I drank animal blood, but that never quelled the hunger, and dead animals showing up tended to make people frightened.

“It was in the 1700s. There was a war, but that doesn’t narrow it down. I mean, when isn’t there a war somewhere? I was a foot soldier who knew he preferred the company of men. That wasn’t easy to deal with on the battlefield, so I buried those feelings deep.” He sighed. “You might call it Narnia deep nowadays. Anyway, we stopped in this town for supplies and to have a bit of rest, and I saw this man. I watched as he bent and lifted, carried and stacked. He was lithe and tone, limber beyond belief. He turned and smiled at me, and I knew I’d been caught looking at him. I feared the worst, because male venery—being caught having sex with another man—was punishable by death. He approached me, a smirk on his face, and when he reached me, he leaned in and whispered that his name was Cristobal and that I should meet him in the gardens of his home at the edge of town. He handed me a key and asked me to show up when the moon hung high in the sky. I was shaking with excitement. It had been nearly two years since I’d been touched by anyone other than my own hand, and now I was going to….” He sighed and averted his gaze. “It doesn’t matter what I’d hoped, because that wasn’t the same plan he had. I slipped into the gardens at the time he asked for and sat on a bench to wait for him. It wasn’t long. He smiled, and his teeth gleamed in the light. I knew then what he was. Before I could scream, he was on me, plunging his teeth into my neck. I remembered thinking how could such a small man hold me down while he killed me. I tried to fight back, to at least punch him, but it was useless. I was no match for his strength. When he finished, his mouth was streaked with my blood. He dropped me in the gardens, and then fled into the night. I could feel what little life was left in me draining out of the holes in my throat.”

Shay drew in a sharp breath and held in a few beats. “What happened?”

“They found me the next morning and rushed me to the hospital. They told my commanding officer that I wouldn’t survive the night, but they were wrong. For several days, I lay there on the verge of death, and on the third night as the sun dipped below the horizon, strength suffused me. The problem was, so did a hunger like I’d never known. That night, for the first time in days, I opened my eyes. I was ravenous. A nurse came in, and I fell upon her immediately, tearing out her throat and drinking down the blood. It wasn’t enough. I went to every room and killed anyone I came across. No one could stop me. Anyone foolish enough to try, I killed and drained them dry.”

Diego put his face in his hands and sobbed.

“So many young men who’d been forced to serve the politicians who wanted war. Some of them weren’t even old enough to shave, and I tore them apart. Unlike me, they didn’t survive. By the time I was done, the place was a charnel house. I escaped before the police arrived, hid away in a darkened alley, then disappeared into the dense fog.

“You have to understand how horrified I was. This wasn’t war. I wasn’t defending my people. Instead, I’d committed murder. Worse still, I drained them of their lives. I vowed that day to never drink human blood again, and I haven’t.”

He wasn’t certain, but Shay thought he knew what was going on. “You’re starving yourself. That’s why you won’t be around humans.”

Diego nodded. “Right now, all I can think about is taking you and plunging my fangs into your throat. To have that warm, sweet liquid filling my mouth. To watch as the light goes out in your eyes, and my hunger is finally sated once more.”

“It won’t be, you know. You can drain me until I die, and that might make you less hungry for a while, but it would come roaring back and twice as strong. So you’ve done this all through sheer willpower?”

A pained look ghosted over Diego’s face as he clutched his stomach. “You have to leave, Shay. Please. I don’t want to hurt you.”

When he’d accepted the job, Ms. Donnelly had given him reading material so he’d know what kind of people he’d be working with. He didn’t know who was what at the time, but he didn’t come into the house unprepared.

“Vampires are not, by nature, evil. They’re like anyone else in that they’ve got good and bad people among them, just like any group. If you were good when you were turned, you’re good now.”

“Goddamn it! Aren’t you listening to me? I killed ninety-seven people!”

“Yes, you did, and you’ve been doing penance for it every day of your incredibly long life. Do you wanna know what was supposed to happen? What I read says a decent vampire doesn’t turn you without permission. He explains what’s going to happen. He helps you to find willing donors, who will provide you with the blood you need to take care of that initial hunger as your body is drawing on the nearly nonexistent stores it lost when you died. A good vampire doesn’t walk away from anyone he’s sired.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Huh? I keep hearing about how smart you are, so why don’t you tell me?”

“We find you volunteers, or we get you hooked up with a blood bank. After the initial hunger, a pint a day is usually enough to keep most vampires going strong.” Shay thought a moment. “If you’ve been doing without for this long, you’ll probably need more. Now I admit, a blood bank donation won’t taste as hot or fresh, but?—”

“It’s blood!” Diego growled. He stalked toward Shay, his eyes gleaming. “I fucking need your blood, Shay.”

With only a moment to think about it, Shay decided to take a gamble. He pulled his shirt neck down and tilted his head. “Okay, take it.”