Gage (Texas Boudreau Brotherhood #16)

Chapter Thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“G irls night!”

Suzanna had barely arrived back at the Boudreau ranch before Nica barreled into her bedroom, proclaiming they were all getting together without any of the men present. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and though she wanted to say no, she knew Nica wouldn’t be taking no for an answer.

“What do you mean girls night?”

“A bunch of us Boudreau women are heading over to Juanita’s tonight. Good Tex-Mex food, great music, unlimited margaritas and best of all—no men allowed. It’ll be a whole gossip-fest and a chance to get away from the husbands, fiancés, and big brothers for a few hours. Relaxation is the name of the game, girl, and you could definitely use a night out. Gage is terrific and all, but he can be intense. ”

“That’s really sweet, but it sounds like more of a family thing—”

“You’re coming. No excuses. It’s a great chance to get to know everybody, plus from everything I’ve heard, you could use a little fun.” She sank onto the end of the bed, and looked up at Suzanna. “I know your husband died six months ago, and if going out with us would make you uncomfortable, I understand, but I really think a night out would do you a world of good. I know I can use it. Now that I’ve finally graduated, and all that stress is off my shoulders, I want to kick off my shoes and relax. Have a bit of fun with the gals. Haven’t you ever just wanted to let your hair down and let loose? Howl at the moon? I’d toss in run around naked in the moonlight, but then big brother Rafe would probably arrest us, and I don’t know that my psyche could stand that trauma.”

Nica’s laughter was infectious, her grin mischievous, and Suzanna found herself agreeing to go to Juanita’s with her and apparently several of the other Boudreau women. Nica even agreed to loan her clothing, since when she’d traveled to New Orleans to meet up with Gage, she hadn’t anticipated going out, and didn’t have anything appropriate to wear. Apparently, the ladies liked to dress up for their Girls Night Out.

Brand new dark wash jeans with the price tag still attached hit the mattress along with a sapphire blue sparkly top with elbow-length sleeves. A pair of gold ballet flats joined them. Luckily she and Nica appeared to be pretty close in size. It felt strange and a little exhilarating to share clothes with somebody else. While most girls did things like this when they were in high school, Suzanna hadn’t had many close friends, and had never done a lot of the high school rituals other girls went through.

Donning the clothes, she was running a brush through her hair, trying to decide whether to wear it up or leave it down around her shoulders when she heard a noise and looked toward the doorway.

“Y’all be careful tonight. I don’t want to get another call like we got last time you had Girls Night Out. Poor Dusty still hasn’t recovered, says his eyes will ever be the same.” Ms. Patti stood in the doorway, a small baby boy in her arms. “Tessa and Beth are downstairs waiting for you.”

“Shoot, Dusty needs to get over himself. We were in our underwear, nobody was naked. Skinny dipping with clothing on. Well, most of us had clothing on. Camilla might have made Dusty nearly go blind, but I swear that woman has no inhibitions.” Nica crossed over to her mother’s side. “Hello, Patrick. How are you my sweet little man?” Nica took the child in her arms, raining kisses against his forehead and cheeks. “I’m tempted to stay home, just so I can spend some time with my nephew.” With a final kiss against his forehead, she handed Patrick back to Ms. Patti. “Where’s Jamie?”

“Where else? She’s out at the barn playing with Otto. I swear the child is obsessed with that donkey.” Right as Ms. Patti said the words, the loud braying of a donkey sounded from outside, and they all laughed. “Are you sure you want to go out tonight? You can always do Girls Night Out later on.

Nica shook her head. “Suzanna and I both deserve to have a night out without any men around. It’s been testosterone city the last few days. Girls Night Out is exactly what we need to decompress and have a little fun. What about Jill and Harper? Are they meeting us here?”

“They are going to meet you at the restaurant. If you’re going, you need to hit the road before the guys change their mind and decide to go with you.”

“Oh, no, this is ladies only.” She looked toward Suzanna and smiled. “You look fabulous. Let’s go.”

She followed Nica down the stairs, to find Gage standing at the bottom. Suddenly she felt self-conscious, wondering if she looked okay. Her palms began to sweat, her heartbeat racing in her chest.

“You look beautiful.” His deep voice slid over her like a caress of silk, and a lick of desire shot through her. Where had that come from, she wondered? Not for the first time, she noticed how tall he was, how broad his shoulders, filling out the T-shirt, drawing her eyes to his muscles. The harsh planes of his face smoothed into a smile, and she took what felt like the first breath since she’d started down the staircase.

“Thank you.” She hated that she sounded so breathy, her voice pitched high. A slight shadow of dark stubble decorated his cheeks and chin, and she wondered what it would feel like against hers when he kissed her.

Stop it right now. He’s not interested in kissing you. You need to remember, he’s helping you as a favor to Brandon, not because he wants you, so get your libido in check, chickie, before you say or do something you’ll regret.

“You don’t have to go with Nica if you don’t want to you know. I don’t like the thought of you going out without me or Ranger or Bas being there, not after what happened earlier.”

“It’ll be fine, Gage. I’ll be with a group of people in a crowded restaurant. I promise I won’t be alone at any point. I’ll even make one of the ladies go with me to the restroom, okay? I want to do this. It sounds like fun.”

“You deserve to have some fun after everything that’s happened.” His hand raised and for a moment she thought he was going to cup her cheek, but he froze and then slowly lowered it. Dang, she really wished he’d followed through. She wasn’t sure what was going on with her, but suddenly she found herself craving his touch. Wondering what it would feel like to have his lips against hers.

Man, I am in so much trouble.

“Come on, ladies, it’s show time. Let’s hit the road.” Nica threw her hands up in the arm and did a little shimmy. “Time to get Girls Night Out started.”

Douglas walked to the front door, and held it open. “You know I’m only a phone call away if you need anything. Otherwise, Rafe and Brody are both going to be in town if there’s any problem.”

“Everything’s going to be find, Dad. Camilla’s in New York this week, so things won’t get too crazy.” Nica leaned in and kissed her dad’s cheek. “Although, I’m not sure about Suzanna, she looks like she might be a wild card.” With a grin, she reached and grabbed Suzanna’s hand. “Let’s go before they come up with a reason to make us stay.”

Tessa and Beth followed them out the door and they all piled into Nica’s bright red pickup, the one she’d gotten for her graduation present. She’d told Suzanna all about it earlier, and Suzanna could see why she was rightly proud of it. It was luxurious, with every bell and whistle imaginable.

It took just over an hour to drive from the Boudreau ranch to Juanita’s restaurant. The parking lot was packed with cars and pickups, some brand new with the paper tags still attached, while others were older and work worn, the kind of truck you’d find on the farm. Climbing from the truck, she inhaled the heavenly scent of pork and beef, the fragrant smell of chorizo perfuming the air. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that it had been hours since she’d eaten at the breakfast place slash diner with Bas and Gage.

With a lot of shuffling around and squeezing into a corner booth, the ladies were laughing and joking with each other, smiling at the waitress who took their drink orders. Suzanna ordered a frozen margarita, figuring that would last her a long while. She wasn’t much of a drinker, never had been, although Steven had introduced her to several wines from one of the vineyards he owned in Napa. He’d loved a good glass of wine with dinner, though she’d preferred drinking water or the occasional soda.

“Camilla’s going to be mad she missed Girls Night Out. She swears hanging around with us opens all her creative juices, helping her write all those steamy scenes for her books.” Tessa raised her glass after saying that, taking a large swallow of her margarita.

“Somehow I don’t think we’re there ones providing her inspiration. I’ve got the feeling Heath has a lot to do with revving Camilla’s motor.”

“Beth!” Jill blushed and picked up her drink.

“What? Don’t get me wrong, I love Brody with all my heart, but ladies, I’m not blind. Heath is fine.” Beth drawled out the last word, her implication clear.

“True. He’s got all those muscles. Dude works out all the time. Then again, all the Boudreau men are prime examples of va va voom.”

They all laughed, and secretly Suzanna had to agree. She hadn’t met all the Boudreau men, but those she had were indeed handsome. And all alpha males. Seemed like a trait that was ingrained in them from their patriarch, who was most definitely the biggest alpha of the family. And she meant that in the best way.

Amidst small talk and more teasing about their men, the whole pitcher of margaritas disappeared, and another was ordered along with food. Suzanna’s stomach growled again, and she dug into her plate or carne asada, the tangy lime and spices perfect with the rice and refried beans accompanying it. The food was amazing, and she found herself wishing she could try all the dishes on the menu if the carne asada was any indication of the quality.

She’d protested when her glass was refilled, but Tessa had insisted, though she noticed Nica only had a diet soda, no joining in when the rest of the ladies drank their margaritas. Leaning toward Suzanna, she whispered, “Designated driver.”

“Understand and thank you for your sacrifice.” Nica grinned at Suzanna’s joke before drawing in a shocked breath. It wasn’t hard to see that Nica stared at somebody across the restaurant. Following her gaze, she noted a dark-haired man seated at a table with another man and two women, both beautiful. Nica glared at the other man, and if looks could kill, Suzanna thought he’d be lying on the floor in a pool of blood.

He looked up and caught her staring, before his eyes moved to Nica. Suzanna watched the way his gaze seemed to eat her up, the hunger definitely not associated with the delicious food. Wow, whoever this guy was, he had a big case of wanting Nica, and from her expression the feelings were mutual.

“Who’s Mr. Tall, Dark, and Dangerous?” She kept her voice low, not wanting the other women to notice. She had the feeling it would embarrass Nica to be caught staring at the stranger across the restaurant.

“That’s Doctor Gabriel Shaw.” The coolness in her tone belied the heat in her eyes. Suzanna counted herself a pretty good judge of people, and there was definitely more than anger seething beneath the surface of Miss Nica. A whirlpool of emotions swirled beneath the surface of the young woman, and Suzanna had the feeling when her and Dr. Shaw got together, there would be explosions.

“A doctor? Nice.”

“Nope. He’s my dad’s physician and he’s a friend of Tina, my future sister-in-law. Plus, he’s a ratfink, no-good lying weasel who I’m not talking to…Oh, crud. Can you forget I said any of that?” All the color drained from Nica’s face before she reached for Suzanna’s margarita glass, downing the entire thing. A tiny smile tickled at the corners of Suzanna’s lips. So much for their designated driver.

“I have a very selective memory. Looks like I’ll be around the Big House for a while, if you feel like talking. Not sure I can give you a lot of advice, but I’m a good listener.”

“Thanks. It’s…complicated.”

“Love always is.”

Nica gave an inelegant snort. “What’s love got to do with it? I might have a lot of conflicted feelings about Gabe, but love isn’t one of them.”

“If you say so,” Suzanna muttered beneath her breath.

“I don’t want to talk about the louse anymore. Let’s talk about you and Gage.” Nica grinned as she grabbed the pitcher and refilled Suzanna’s margarita glass. “What’s going on with you two?”

“Me and Gage? Nothing’s going on. He’s helping me find out who really killed my husband. The Dallas police think I did it, and haven’t been looking too hard to find another suspect. Gage believes me, that I didn’t kill Steven.”

Nica reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard it is to lose somebody you love, and then be accused of being the one who killed them.”

“I did love Steven. He was the most amazing man. Smart, funny, always ready to lend a helping hand to people who needed it. He was my best friend. I…I miss him.”

“It sounds like he was a wonderful man. It also sounds like you cared about him, but—never mind, it’s not any of my business.”

“Go ahead, you can ask me anything. I might choose not to answer, but ask away.”

Nica took a deep breath, studying Suzanna’s face, her scrutiny seeming to look straight into her soul. Funny, she hadn’t known Nica long, but they’d already connected on a level Suzanna hadn’t found with many people. Almost like they were sisters in another lifetime.

“You said that you loved Steven, but were you in love with him?

The other women at the table were still chatting and laughing, talking about things their men or kids were up to, and not paying Nica and her much attention. Suzanna wanted badly to have somebody to confide in, somebody she could trust with her secrets. As close as she was with Ally, she’d never been able to really talk with her, because she’d also been a friend of Stevens, and it would have felt like a betrayal.

“I did love Steve. I met him through my stepmother, at one of her many charity events that I was required to attend. I’d just graduated from SMU and she wanted to tout her stepdaughter, the scholar who’d graduated summa cum laude. With the highest distinction, indeed. You’d think she earned the degree instead of me, she touted it so much to her circle of peers. Somehow it gave her more clout with her cadre, her posse. I’m not an extrovert, so college wasn’t exactly my favorite place. Put me in the library with a stack of books and a giant coffee and I was happy. Ask me to go to a frat party and I’d break out in hives. Probably the opposite of you. And I mean that in the best way. You are so outgoing and bubbly, everybody knows you and likes you. Me, I was pretty much a ghost on the campus, except when people learned that my stepmother was Janelle Covington.”

“Covington? You dad was Howard Covington, the man who owned Covington Entertainment?”

“Yes. Imagine that, the family who created and runs one of the biggest entertaining conglomerates in Hollywood having a nerd for a daughter. One who shunned the spotlight for academia? I wasn’t interested in attending industry parties or meeting celebrities. Most of them are nice, but they are only interested in knowing me so they could get closer to my father. It didn’t take long to figure out anybody who showed any interest in me always had an agenda, an ulterior motive.”

“Except Steven.” Nica nodded and Suzanna knew she understood.”

“Yes, except Steven. He was older than me, sixteen years to be precise. I can’t tell you how many times I heard he was old enough to be my father. He was kind to me. I always felt like the poor little girl playing dress-up, in the fancy clothes and jewelry I had to wear to the gala events. And there were lots of them. My father, as an executive and head of the studio, made it my responsibility to attend. My stepmother made sure I looked and sounded the part. I was always ‘on’ at those things, except with Steven.”

Suzanna stopped talking as the musicians strolled by, playing lively Mexican music, and the ladies clapped, encouraging them to stop by their table, performing with their guitars and maracas. The tune was upbeat and recognizable, and everyone laughed and joined in, clapping enthusiastically when they finished, and moved on, spreading cheer throughout the restaurant.

“I’m sure you know my husband is…was…rich. Dawkins, Inc. is a multibillion-dollar company, and Steven was hands on with every aspect. Put trusted people in positions of authority, because he couldn’t be everywhere all the time. When I met him, he was riding the razor’s edge of exhaustion and depression. He was at the top of his field and he was…lonely. I understood the feeling better than most. Kindred spirits you might say. We bonded over feeling like the outsider looking in. Over the weeks we discovered we had a lot in common.”

“And you loved him.”

“I loved him,” Suzanna met Nica’s gaze. “He was the best friend I ever had. And he felt the same. Being in love? I never felt that, as much as I wanted to. When Steven asked me to marry him, initially I said no. How could I? He deserved to be with somebody who could give him their everything, heart and soul. Somebody who would feel physical desire for him. I…didn’t.”

“Oh, Suzanna, that’s so sad. I don’t know you well, but I can tell you wouldn’t have gone into a marriage with him, not without telling him the truth. It must have been agonizing admitting you didn’t want him.”

Suzanna toyed with the napkin in her lap, debating how much she should say. She’d talked with Ally about this, only a little, because it felt like betraying Steven to talk about the intimate details of their marriage with somebody else. Talking with Nica felt different. Maybe it was because Steven was gone, or maybe Nica was simply easy to talk with, but she needed to tell somebody.

“Steven held me while I cried. I hated hurting him, telling him I couldn’t marry him. Then he told me about the woman he loved.”

Nica’s gasp had all the other women turning toward them. “Anything wrong?” Tessa’s voice was laced with concern.

“No, no, everything’s fine. Just swallowed my drink wrong. I’m okay.”

Nica covered well enough the ladies turned back to their conversations, and she whispered, “Sorry. You said Steven was in love with somebody else.”

Suzanna nodded. “He was. Her name was Mary. They met when they were in college together, their freshman year. Both young and impetuous, and crazy in love with each other. Planning to build a life together, they spent their days going to classes and working on starting their business. At night they’d make passionate love until the sun came up, and they had to go to class. Steven planned to propose to Mary, had even bought a diamond ring, though he’d had to scrimp and save for weeks to get enough for the down payment.”

“That’s romantic and actually kind of sweet. But I’m guessing things didn’t work out?”

“No. They had a big, ugly fight about Mary’s ex. He’d shown up, transferred in from a different school, and wanted to get back together with her. But Steven was jealous and he said some horrible things to Mary. Long story short, she ran off with her ex-boyfriend, eloped and married him.”

“Oh, no!”

Suzanna nodded. “Steven was heartbroken. Mary came back and apologized to Steven but, of course, at this point it was too late. She was married and he was bitter and heartbroken. He swore he’d never forgive her. And he didn’t, until she was on her deathbed. Cancer. It was only two years after she left him, and it affected him profoundly that he’d allowed a stupid fight ruin his life. When Mary died, he swore he’d never fall in love again.”

“Oh, that’s awful.”

“He wanted me to go into our marriage with my eyes wide open, knowing that he could never love me. Not the way he felt I should be loved. But he offered me a way out. Out from under my father’s thumb, where I was only good for standing around looking pretty for his business friends. Away from my stepmother, the woman who made my life a living nightmare. I won’t go into details, but think about the opposite of your family, of how you are loved by not only your parents but your brothers. That was my life. Empty. Hollow. Even my degree was useless because once people realized who my father was, they were happy to hire me, as long as it gave them inroads to him. Or they were social climbers, loving having a connection to Janelle.”

“So you agreed to marry him?”

She pulled in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Yes. I went into my marriage with my eyes wide open. And I was happy. Steven was happy. We were a true partnership in our home. While we weren’t in love—”

“Who wants to stop by the lake?” Harper grinned, nudging Beth with her shoulder. “You had just had Patrick the last time.”

“No, no, I promised Ms. Patti no shenanigans tonight.” Tessa raised her right hand with her fingers crossed.

“Who said anything about shenanigans? I simply thought we might take a walk on the lakeshore, maybe dip or toes in the water.”

“Only our toes? The last time a whole lot more got wet than just our tootsies.” Everyone laughed at Jill’s joke.

“Camilla’s not here, so we should be safe. Besides, Dusty is not on duty tonight, I checked with Rafe. So he couldn’t possibly get his poor sensibilities offended.”

“Not to be a party pooper or anything, but I probably should get back to the ranch. Gage is probably having fits because I came tonight without my bodyguards. It wouldn’t be fair to give him extra headaches because I wasn’t careful. I hope you understand. Though I had a great time. I’m so glad you invited me.”

“You’re right, it is getting late. We should probably head home.”

Suzanna was pretty sure Nica was safe to climb behind the wheel, since she’d really only had about half a margarita when she’d drained Suzanna’s glass, and that had been over an hour ago. This reminded her to look across the restaurant, noting that Dr. Gabriel Shaw was gone. She reminded herself to talk with Nica about the good doctor, give her a shoulder to cry on if need be, or somebody to vent with if that would help.

After a round of hugs and promises to call when they got home, everybody piled into their respective vehicles and headed home. Climbing into the front seat and putting on her seatbelt, Suzanna relaxed, leaning her head against the headrest and realized this was the first time that she’d relaxed and allowed herself to simply have fun since before Steven died.

And she didn’t feel guilty. Talking with Nica earlier reminded her of all Steven’s good qualities. His compassion, his friendship, and his brotherly love. He’d have been happy to see her finding new friends, meeting people like the Boudreaus. And she had a sneaking suspicion he would have liked Gage.

She held onto that thought all the way back to the Big House.