Gage (Texas Boudreau Brotherhood #16)

Chapter Twenty-One

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Three Days Later

S uzanna walked toward the paddock, seeing Otto and a couple of the horses loose inside. She loved the freedom of the ranch, being able to simply breathe. Away from the press, the paparazzi. Dodging the television reporters, the numerous calls from all the major networks wanting her to come on their morning shows to talk about her husband and Donald Blackthorn. At least here on the Boudreau ranch, she knew she could hide away from them. Douglas and Destiny had made sure nobody got onto the property without severe consequences, which meant dealing with Rafe. She’d developed a fond appreciation for the good sheriff.

Gage had called earlier, said he wanted to talk. Following what happened in Dallas, he’d been so sweet. He’d given her time to wrap her head around everything, though it seemed like a waking dream. More like a nightmare, but she was trying to look at things realistically, without embellishing them or giving them more relevance than they deserved.

Except Gage. It seemed like he was the only thing she could think about. She’d spent hours talking with Ms. Patti. The woman was a godsend, helping her understand things from a perspective other than her own. She’d opened up to the older woman, telling her about her marriage to Steven. Talked about how she’d loved him, but it had been the love for a best friend, somebody you cared about but not in a passionate sense.

Not like what she felt for Gage.

How had it happened so fast? She’d heard about instalove, read about it in the books she’d secretly hoarded, yet she’d never imagined she could fall so fast and so far. But she had. There’d been something there from the moment she’d met him, and it had grown and blossomed.

Yet she felt guilty. Steven had only been gone for six months. She was a widow, grieving her lost husband. Falling in love seemed almost a betrayal of his memory. But when she’d talked with Ms. Patti, she’d helped Suzanna understand that Steven wouldn’t have wanted her to be mired down in guilt. He’d loved her the best he could, and he’d want her to be happy. If that happiness came from falling in love with Gage, it was meant to be.

The sudden braying from Otto had her turning toward the house, and she spotted Gage heading out the kitchen door and making his way toward her. Automatically, her hands went to fussing with her clothes. She’d taken extra care when she’d dressed that morning, knowing Gage was coming.

“Hello, Suzanna.” Leaning forward, he brushed a soft kiss against her cheek. Heat rushed into her face, and she lowered her eyes, afraid he’d read all her longing in her gaze.

“Hi.”

“I just talked with Detective Jansen. Your part in the investigation into Steven’s death has been closed. You have been cleared of any suspicion. The prosecutors are having a field day with all the evidence against Blackthorn. They’ve got more than enough, between his sabotage at Dawkins, Inc., the hiring of a hit man to kill Steven, plus your witnessing him shoot his wife, the district attorney expects a plea deal to keep the death penalty off the table. Any way you look at it, Blackthorn is going away for the rest of his life.”

Shaking her head, she grabbed hold of the paddock fence, before reaching up to scratch Otto’s nose. She got a soft snuffle against her hand, with him lipping her fingers. It made her smile, thinking something so simple could bring joy.

“It’s all so senseless. I would have given him the company. I didn’t want it. I have money of my own. When my father passed, he left me a trust fund that I’ve barely touched. That money will take care of me for the rest of my life. I didn’t care about the money when I married Steven. I loved him and he loved me.”

“I’m glad you had him. Glad you found happiness with somebody you loved. Sorry that you lost him far too soon.” Gage moved to stand beside her, draping his arm over the top rail. “What are you going to do now that you’re free? You can go anywhere, do anything you want.”

“I haven’t really thought that far ahead. I might spend a little more time in Shiloh Springs. Ms. Patti offered to let me stay as long as I like. Unless you’d rather I didn’t.”

He was silent for so long, she wondered if he really did want her to leave. Shiloh Springs was his place, his town, and she’d never do anything to make him uncomfortable. The Boudreaus were his family, and they considered him their son.

“If you’ve got some time, I’d like to show you something. It’s not too far.”

“Of course.”

Her heart skipped a beat when he reached down and took her hand, holding it the whole way to his car. The rental SUV sat parked cattycorner in front of the house, and he helped her into the passenger seat before heading around to the driver’s side.

They drove for about ten minutes or so when he pulled off onto a poorly paved section of road, the SUV bouncing on the rough terrain. On either side of the pitted driveway, she could tell the grass had been cleared but had started filling in again, probably several weeks’ worth of overgrown grass and weeds as far as she could see.

After driving about half a mile, he pulled onto an area that had been cleared, with bare dirt exposed. Landscaping stakes with fluttering flags were placed everywhere, and orange-colored spray paint marked out areas on the ground.

Not waiting for him to open her door, she climbed from the SUV, and hurried over to the site, seeing it for what it was. Gage was showing her a part of himself, exposing his hopes and dreams. This was where he was building his own personal place. Close to the Boudreaus. Close to Shiloh Springs.

“It’s beautiful here.”

“You’re the first person to see it.”

“I’m honored.” Walking closer to the landscaper’s stakes, she turned back toward the road, and smiled. “You’re going to be able to see the sunrise every morning from here.”

“That’s why I planned the house in this spot. When I talked with the architect, he positioned the house so I’ll get sunrise and sunset views.

“How much land do you own?” Looking around, she didn’t see any other houses close by, though there were strands of trees, so there might be close neighbors she hadn’t spotted.

“Right at ten acres. I’m not looking to run a full ranch here. I wanted some place where I could spread out; maybe have a garden outside the kitchen. A barn and a couple horses. The simple life.”

“Sounds perfect.” It sounded like the Boudreau ranch, if you didn’t add in the working portion of it. But she didn’t say that, not out loud. She knew he was trying to recreate something important to him, and it touched her heart.

“I don’t need a place as large as the Big House, just a place to hang my hat when I’m not out working cases. Though I’m thinking about officially retiring from the CIA.”

“You are? What happens then?”

“That kind of depends on you.”

“Me?”

“I’m not the kind to beat around the bush or draw things out, Suzanna, so I’m going to come right out and say it. I love you.” He slapped his cowboy hat against his thigh, like he didn’t know what he should do with his hands. “Maybe it’s too soon. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been in love before. Not saying I haven’t been in relationships, I have. Not that there have been that many, too busy working for the government to really get involved seriously with anybody. You probably don’t need to hear about my past girlfriends, right? But meeting you, it changed everything. I know it’s fast. I know I should wait and not say anything yet, but I need you to know I love you.”

“Gage, I—”

“You need time to grieve. I get it. You loved Steven, you’d planned to spend your life with him. Maybe you aren’t ready to hear me say I love you. Maybe you don’t think you’ll ever feel the same way about me that I feel about you. If you don’t want to see me again, I’ll understand. Heck, I know I’m screwing this up, so I’ll shut up now.”

Suzanna bit her lip to keep from smiling. He looked so adorable, holding his hat in his hands in front of him, almost like a shield against rejection. Her heart felt like it would explode she was so happy. Scared, exhilarated, ready to take on the world. Hearing him say the words, feeling the same thing in her heart, she knew they were meant to be. Call it Fate. Call it Cupid shooting them with arrows. Put any label on it, but it was the forever kind of love.

“Can I talk now?”

She watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and he nodded. “Good. You silly, lovable man, I love you too. I think I fell head-over-heels for you the minute you rushed into my hotel room in New Orleans, intent on saving me. My white knight, ready to slay the dragon. How could I not fall in love? You know I cared for Steven, and he’ll always have a special place in my heart, but I love you. Deeply, madly, annoyingly over-the-top crazy about you.”

His eyes widened in shock. “You love me?”

“How could I not? You’re perfect for me. Now stop thinking so hard and kiss me.”

Suzanna couldn’t believe Gage was holding her, kissing her. Pulling back, he stared into her eyes, his lips curving up in a wicked grin. She pulled his head down for another mind-numbing kiss, lost in the sensations roiling through her body. It had been far too long since she’d been held, and nobody came close to making her feel the way Gage did—nobody.

Suzanna kissed him back as if her life depended on it. Maybe it did. Maybe this was a mirage that would fade at any moment, leaving her bereft and yearning for something always out of reach. Yet when she opened her eyes, Gage stood there looking down at her, and she could read the love in his gaze.

Gage must have felt something in the urgency of her kisses, because he clasped her face between his two hands, his touch gentle but firm.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. I promise.”

“It’s just, I lost Steven and I’m so afraid I’ll lose you too. I know what you do for the government is important, and I’m grateful and thankful that you’ve protected our country, but I lose you…I don’t think my heart could take the pain.”

“Weren’t you listening? I’m going to resign from the CIA. I won’t be going out on any more dangerous assignments, at least none like I did in the past.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

He shook his head. “You didn’t ask. I’d already decided before I met you that I needed a change. You get burned out when you do the kind of work I did. Some of it was ugly, and I’m ready for a new chapter, a new beginning. With you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I know what I want. I also know that you need to take the time to grieve for Steven. He deserves to know that he was loved and will be remembered. We’ve got all the time in the world to build our lives together. In fact, you can help me with this house. Nothing is set in stone yet, so you can change anything you like. We can make this the perfect house for us both.”

She looked out over the land again, noting the creek in the distance, the gentle slopes to the ground, where lush green grass would one day flourish. A two-story farmhouse with a big porch, and a swing sounded like heaven.

“Just one question. Did Ms. Patti help you pick out the land?”

A panicked look crossed his face before he shook his head. “No.”

“Promise me I can be there when you tell her.”

Gentle laughter filled the air and Suzanna knew everything was going to be just fine, because she’d finally found the one thing she’d been looking for her whole life.

Home.