Game of Revenge

Chapter 12

Kiernan

Three months later

Time has passed so slowly, but still I'm stuck in Jefferson, Texas, in my mind. I can't get away from that place.

The way Brian smiled at me before he left to use the bathroom. That's my last memory of him and I hate it.

I should have reached out for him. Kissed him goodbye. No matter how silly it was. I should have followed him.

I should have been the one to go look for him instead of his traitorous brother. I can't believe Mike did that to him.

Brian loved his brother even when they fought. He was a kind person and never would have wished his twin was dead.

I don't know how Mike fooled us all. He harbored so much jealousy and evil inside of him. What Blakely did was the right thing.

Mike was a bad egg… So why do I miss him so much?

“Hey, Kier, we're going to head out. Are you sure you don't want to come with us?” Tray asks me as he puts his coat on, then turns and helps Francis into hers.

Shaking my head, I rub my stomach and groan. I've been faking a stomachache for the last few hours.

Childish? Maybe, but I didn't want to go to a new restaurant opening. Francis' father wants her to attend to assess how it is.

I guess he's a silent investor.

“I really don't want to leave you when you're sick. Do you want me to stay here?” Tray asks, moving closer to me.

“No, seriously, I'll be okay. I'm going to rest my eyes and hope the nausea stops.”

Sighing, he leans down and presses a kiss onto my forehead. My eyes sting and I need him to leave before I start to cry.

“Okay, but call me if anything changes. I love you Kiernan.”

“I love you too. Have fun.” I look at Francis.

“Take care of our guy, okay?” I give her a half-hearted smile and she nods, before grabbing his hand and pulling him into a kiss.

He laughs, spins her toward the door, then swats her ass.

She makes him really happy and I'm glad that he will have her when I'm gone.

I've always known that Tray was bisexual. I never faulted him for it and when him and Francis started to become closer after we left Jefferson, I encouraged it.

I will always see Francis as a sister, but Tray loves her, and I'm okay with that.

When the door slams, I toss my blanket off of me and stand. My heart is racing so fast, and I can't catch my breath.

I know I'm having a panic attack, but that doesn't matter. I have made up my mind. It's time.

I need to get away from here. I can’t be around these people anymore. They are moving on, but I’m stuck in the past.

I feel lost and betrayed. I don’t even know if I can trust anyone again beside Tray of course. He's been amazing, and I know what I'm about to do will hurt him.

But he will be okay. Francis will keep him going.

They will get married, have a horde of kids like Carrie and think of me with fondness in time.

Hell, maybe they will name a child after me.

I'm not meant to stay here.

Everything that I thought was truth were just sugar-coated lies. I can't keep living here in a state of limbo, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Grabbing my sneakers, I slip them on and pull on a hoodie from in the closet. It was Brian's and if I close my eyes really hard I can almost smell him again.

Wearing his clothes makes it feel like he's here giving me a tight hug once again.

Closing my eyes, I take in a deep breath. “I'll see you really soon, baby.”

Walking into the kitchen, I pull out the envelopes from a junk drawer and set them on the coffee table in the living room.

I've been thinking about this for a long time. My letters have been written. My Will has been changed, and I've come to terms with my decision.

Taking another look at the home we built that now feels like a jail cell, I open the door, pull my hood up onto my head and start walking.

It's almost cathartic that I am headed to the same place where my best friend once died. Moving in with Francis was supposed to be a good decision.

Get away from the haunting ghosts and memories. Start fresh. Plus Carrie being nearby was a huge bonus.

Walking along the snow-covered road, I keep to the shadows. I don't think Tray will turn around and come home, but you never know.

I need to be gone before he finds my letters. I can’t risk him trying to stop me. The chill in the air has me stopping and admiring the night sky for one last time.

Is this how Carrie felt when she chose the same path?

A peaceful numbness.

Blowing out a breath, I watch as it swirls through the air and up to the Heavens, as if I was sending Brian a kiss.

God, I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts to exist.

But not for much longer.

Picking up my pace, I soon see the bridge. I have no doubts about this, but I do want to say goodbye.

Pulling out my phone, I dial the one man who will talk to me and not try to change my mind.

“Hey, Kier, how are you feeling?” Chuck answers, and I laugh.

If that isn't a loaded fucking question.

“Are you alone? Can we chat for a few minutes? I won't take up too much time.”

I just need him to explain to Carrie and the others why I needed to leave.

“Yeah, let me just put Margo in her bed.” I hear him grunt and a tired little voice say, “Goodnight. I love you, Daddy.”

Tears fill my eyes, and it becomes harder to breathe.

I will never have that. I loved being an uncle, and I was blessed to raise Tiffany for those short years, but to have a little one of my own…

“Kiernan, are you still there? Hello!” I must have zoned out.

“Yeah, I'm here. The water looks so still tonight. Peaceful almost. As if it's never had to deal with death and murder. It's innocent. Cleansing,” I ramble, and Chuck sucks in a quick breath.

“Fuck. Please don't tell me you're where I think you are! Why does this shit happen to me? Kiernan, listen to me. You are so loved, and Carrie wouldn't survive it if you left her. Blakely would come back forever.”

“Carrie loves her children too much to stay away for long. You got lucky to have her. I was blessed to be her friend for as long as I was. She's my soulmate.”

“Kiernan, where are you? Are you at the bridge? Just keep walking and come to the house. No, better yet, I'll come to you.”

I hear him grabbing his keys and opening a garage door.

“It'll be too late, Chuck, I'm sorry, but just know that this is the only way. Keep my family safe. Protect them with your last breath and know I'll always be watching over you.”

I end the call and toss my phone over the barrier. Since Carrie attempted her life here, it's more difficult to climb onto the other side, but I manage.

Taking a few deep breaths, I wipe my cheeks and close my eyes. Brian's face is there smiling. He looks so happy. I just want to be happy.

Carrie

My phone won't stop ringing and because I took Bates’ car I don't have it hooked up to the stupid Bluetooth.

“It will have to wait. Not going to risk digging my phone out of my pocket while driving,” I mutter as I stop at a red light.

The guys are being ridiculous. I have another month of pregnancy left and all I'm doing is driving fifteen minutes from home to Frankie's house.

My bestie is sick and needs some cuddles. He's been looking thin the past few weeks and needs some ice cream therapy.

The light turns green, and I slow roll across the intersection before pulling into a small grocery store.

It's late, but they are open for another ten minutes. Grabbing my bag, I dig out my phone from my pocket, then unbuckle and turn the car off.

After opening my door, I have to finagle my stomach away from the steering wheel to climb out.

That stupid ringtone starts to play again, and I roll my eyes.

Fine. I'll answer their damn call and let them know that I'm still fucking alive.

“What!” I snap.

“Carrie, where are you? Kiernan is on the bridge. He won't answer his phone,” Chuck rushes out, and my body goes cold.

“No, no, no, no,” I chant before getting back in the car and peeling out of the parking lot. Fuck the ice cream.

“Carrie!” Chuck screams, so I put him on speaker.

“I'm five minutes away now. I can't lose him, Chuck. He's my lifeline,” I sob. My eyes blur from how fast the tears are falling.

Kiernan is more than my best friend. He's the one who has picked me up and held together my broken pieces more times than I can count.

How could I have missed that he was so far gone? Fuck, I'm so selfish. Taking away all he had to give to me and not returning it.

“Deep breaths. I called an ambulance and I'm about ten minutes away. Don't do anything stupid, baby. I love you.”

He ends the call as I pull up onto the bridge. I don't see Kiernan. Parking, I leave the car running and open my door.

I never even buckled my seatbelt.

“Kiernan!” I scream into the night, but all I can hear is the water rushing below my feet.

“Please. Please,” I shout, my voice cracking. Waddling over to the barrier, I look into the water, but it's so dark.

“Fuck! Fuck!” I scream, gripping my hair and pulling it tight.

I wish I could resurrect Michael just to kill him again. I swear if I lose my best friend tonight I will find a way to bring him back.

I need him. I can't keep living this life without him. He's my light to my darkness. He keeps me whole.

I know that's fucked up. My men and children should be that kind of tether for me, but they aren't.

It's always been Kiernan. From the day I met him at school. I knew he was always meant to be my ride or die.

“Please Kier, answer me. I need you!” I shout. My stomach aches from how hard my body is shaking as I'm wracked with sobs.

Walking along the path to the bank below, I try not to remember the night I did something so stupid.

Did I cause this? If I never died, if Blakely was never born, then Kiernan wouldn't have come to this bridge.

Shuffling along the path, I try not to fall, but the ground is so slippery.

A light above, shines onto the bank where Kiernan saved my life. A shadowed figure is sitting there with his head in his hands, sobbing.

“Kiernan,” I scream, and he looks up at me right as my feet slip out from under me and I land hard on my ass.

“Fuck,” I roar.

“Carrie,” Kier yells, climbing to his feet and rushing to me. I try to get up, but a gush of liquid fills my jeans and an indescribable cramping hits my stomach.

“Oh shit,” I whimper, placing my hands on my stomach.

Kiernan reaches me, and I ignore the pain, pulling him into my arms and holding him as tight as I can.

“Fuck, I thought I lost you,” I groan as he continues to cry.

“I couldn't do it. I wanted to so fucking badly, but I couldn't,” he chokes out, and I rub his back the best I can.

Another contraction hits and I know I'm fucked.

“We are not done with this conversation, but right now I think I'm in active labor,” I gasp, and he releases me.

His gray eyes are bloodshot, and they gleam in the moonlight.

He looks so pretty.

Fuck, did I hit my head too? I feel dazed and the cramps are getting worse.

“Carrie, no don't close your eyes. Where is your phone?”

I laugh, then cry. “In the car.”

“Shit, mine is in the bottom of the river,” he mutters, then shouts, “Fuck!” Into the night sky.

“It hurts. Holy hell. Fuck,” I whimper, then begin to laugh.

“This is not funny, Carrie. I can't drag you up a hill,” he barks at me with annoyance, and I wipe my eyes.

“The guys will never let me live this down. I'm going to live in a roll of bubble wrap after this…”

My eyes start to close, and my body shakes as I feel the need to push.

“You have to do it. Save him. Save Brian,” I whisper as my eyelids get even heavier.

Kiernan

“Brian? Carrie fuck! Don’t do this to me. I’ve saved you once on this bank, don’t make me do it again.”

She’s blacked out, and I don’t know what the hell to do.

“Shit. Fuck. Okay.”

Laying her down on the bank, I reach for the button of her pants, not finding any. Huh, maternity jeans are weird.

No, focus, Kiernan. This is all your fault!

Pulling down her pants and underwear, I try not to think about the fact that I am touching my best friend’s vagina.

I can feel something, but I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Pulling my hand away, I instantly smell the metallic scent of her blood.

“No. No. Shit, Carebear wake up.” Reaching up, I gently shake her.

How am I going to deliver her baby when she's asleep?

“Please, Carrie, you need to wake up!” I shout.

Her leg twitches, and she yelps in pain. Bending her knees, I move closer to her.

I can feel something. Oh God. Is it his head?

“Carrie wake the fuck up or I am going to leave Portland and never come back,” I threaten, and she mumbles something.

Her eyes open, and she screams. “Ow, oh fuck. It hurts. Kiernan make it stop,” she whimpers, and I reach for her hand.

“Carrie, you need to push, okay?”

“No. It's too soon. Where are the guys and my comfy robe and my candles. This is not what we planned!”

“Ugh, you're such a spoiled brat. If you do this I will make sure the guys throw you an after baby party. Okay?”

“I want my Frankie,” she wails, and I close my eyes. Carrie is a badass bitch, but when it comes to pain, she's a total baby.

Pulling back, I remove my soft hoodie. It's so cold out here, and I instantly shiver.

“Carrie, we can do this. I'm sorry I tried to leave you. I'm so sorry, but you need to push.”

“I am going to castrate those men. You hear me. You're going to help me tie them down and cut off their cocks,” she hisses before doing some labor breathing technique.

“No. I don't mean that. I love their dicks,” she wails, then screams as she starts to push.

It takes five agonizing minutes, and all I can wonder is where the fuck Chuck is. I thought he was racing to save me.

“I can feel him,” I mutter in amazement. Carrie screams one last time as the baby is born.

Wrapping him in the hoodie, I hold him tight to my body.

“He's not crying. Carrie…”

She's blacked out again. Fuck, please. I can't lose another Brian or her.

I bounce the baby as best I can and stick my fingers in his mouth, making sure nothing is stuck. He's still attached to the umbilical cord and Carrie, but I don't have anything to cut it.

“Please. Please. If you live I will get help. I will talk to someone. I will fight to live. Please,” I beg, and begin to sob as the sharpest most powerful wail leaves his tiny body.

“Carrie!” someone screams from the bridge, and I sigh. Chuck is here. Everything is going to be okay now.