Gamers’ Omega (Gimme MMMMMore #5)

Chapter 8 - 2

“Cuddle puddle!” Tony declared as we poured into the living room. He rounded the couch and pulled the ottoman into place while Beck strode over and opened Pico’s cage.

I stared at the couch for several seconds, trying to decide if it was better to cuddle them to talk, or if I should keep my distance.

“Go on,” Ian said softly as he rested a hand on my back. “It’s always easier to have big talks when you’re supported.”

I licked my lips, nodded, and crawled across to where Tony had laid. Ian and Freddie quickly followed, with Beck joining us a few minutes later after he’d settled Pico on his play area.

We took a few minutes to kiss and connect, which was reassuring in its own way. They knew I needed to talk to them, but making me comfortable took precedence.

“I still say you looked fantastic in your swimsuit,” Tony stated as he rubbed my back. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you in it again.”

I smiled. “Thank you, but that wasn’t the problem.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ian asked.

I let out a half-laugh. “Not really, but I think I need to.”

Freddie reached across Tony’s chest and squeezed my shoulder. “It’s ok. Trust me.”

I took a deep breath. “So um… remember last week when we got back after game night, and Freddie was teasing Ian about sucking him off?”

There was a beat of silence, then Tony spoke. “I think I remember that, but we joke about stuff like that all the time. Did we make you uncomfortable?”

I swallowed. “I… I don’t know why but for some reason…” I paused and gathered my courage. “I… I can’t get the thought out of my mind. I… I wanna watch.”

“You want to watch Ian give Freddie a beej?” Tony asked.

Heat crawled up my cheeks. “Mo-more than that.”

“More?” Ian teased.

“I-I…”

“Knock it off,” Beck scolded. “He’s not asking for anything we haven’t done. We watch all the time. Whether already spent, waiting a turn, or because watching a couple of men you love fuck each other senseless is hot. It’s so common we don’t even think about it.”

“O-only if you’re ok with it,” I replied, even as my dick twitched at the thought that it might happen.

“Your mouth says one thing, but your cock says something else,” Tony replied.

“I… I…” I stammered.

“Is he hard?” Ian asked.

Tony chuckled. “Not completely, but he’s rocking a semi against my leg.”

“Oh God,” I whined as I tried to hide my face. “I’m so sorry.”

The cushions dipped as people moved around, then a body pressed against my back and a hard cock nestled along my ass.

“It’s normal,” Ian murmured in my ear. “Talking about it makes you think about it, and those things have a mind of their own. We all get hard. It’s a reaction, nothing more.”

I let out a long breath. “O-one of the first guys I dated… I had to learn to hide it. He said that it was proof that I wanted it.”

“Well that’s a load of bullshit,” Tony laughed. “Ian’s right that they have a mind of their own. Mine sometimes gets hard because it’s Tuesday, or Wednesday, or because the sheets are particularly comfortable right then. It doesn’t make me any more likely to fuck somebody or be fucked. If the rest of me is in the mood, then I might act on it. But there are plenty of times I just grumble about it and move on.”

“To be fair,” Beck joked, “you get turned on at the drop of a hat. If you fucked every time you got hard, you’d spend more time fucking than not.”

“I’m not that bad!” Tony protested.

“Uh-huh,” Freddie deadpanned. “You keep telling yourself that.”

“Assholes,” Tony huffed.

Ian laughed. “See? Hard is hard, and horny is horny. Do they overlap? Of course. But they don’t have to. And even if they do, you don’t have to do anything. Could you end up with a case of blue balls? Sure. But there’s nothing wrong with that if you don’t want to have sex.”

“And even if you do want sex,” Beck continued, “that doesn’t have to mean taking a cock up the ass. It could be a BJ or a handy.”

“Frotting can be hot,” Tony interrupted.

“Or a good thigh fucking,” Freddie added.

They were all words I’d heard before from other alphas. But—for the first time—they felt genuine. Whenever somebody else had said them, it felt like a gateway to get me to spread my legs.

“Any objections to letting Eric watch?” Freddie asked.

Nobody said anything.

“Then it’s settled,” Freddie stated after several seconds. “We’ll give it a day or so. That way if anybody changes their mind, they can.” He met my gaze. “That includes you. Just because you want it now, doesn’t mean you’re locked in. When and how much you watch is up to you.”

“Ok,” I replied as my dick jumped again

Tony chuckled. “That thing really does give you away.”

I groaned but kept myself from hiding my face.

“Can I feel?” Ian asked. “Above the pants.”

I swallowed. I’d never let another man touch me, even with that fabric barrier.

“Yes,” I whispered.

I couldn’t explain it, but I trusted them.

Ian slid his hand down my front, paused at my waistband for several seconds, then trailed his fingers along my bulge.

My breath caught in my throat and tingles shot up my spine. Even through my boxers and jeans, it felt good to be touched.

“You ok?” Ian asked.

I nodded. “Y-yes.”

He flattened his hand, his palm pressing against me while his fingers curled to cup my growing erection.

I couldn’t hold back a breathy moan.

“Good?” he asked, kissing my ear.

“Mm-hmm,” I replied, unable to form words.

“Good.”

He held me like that for several more seconds, squeezing gently, then released me.

My breath shuddered as the sensations stopped.

“Thank you for trusting me,” he murmured as he kissed my ear again.

I relaxed in the space between Ian and Tony, while Beck and Freddie scooted closer. But nobody else asked to touch me, and I appreciated it.

I’d reached a milestone, and there were no demands that I do it again.

It gave me hope.

∞∞∞

“Your lunch, hun,” Mandy said as she set a plate of pasta in front of me.

“Thanks,” I replied, setting aside my phone.

“Setting up a hot date with the gamers?” she teased. “You’ve been glued to your phone since you clocked out.”

I chuckled. I had a hot date already planned, but she didn’t need to know that. “No, I’ve been trying to figure out what our health insurance covers.”

“You feeling alright?”

I nodded. “It’s nothing physical. But I’ve got some shit from when I was a kid that I want to get working on again. I had a therapist a few years ago, and I want to find somebody local.” I let out a long breath. “But only if it’s covered.”

“Ah,” she replied with a nod. “I hear ya. I don’t know for sure, but I think there are some mental health options. You could ask Owen.”

“It’s probably faster than trying to figure out the documentation.”

“Or call customer service on the back of your card.”

“Please hold,” I chirped in a mock cheery tone. “We are busy assisting other customers. We will take your call in the order that it was received.”

Mandy burst into laughter. “Ain’t that the truth.”

“I’ll ask Owen and see if he knows.”

She nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

She rapped the table a couple of times with her knuckles then strode off.

I resumed scrolling the plan details on my phone with one hand while eating with the other. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out if a sex therapist was a covered specialty at all, let alone if I needed preauthorization.

I groaned and set the phone aside just as Owen took a seat across from me. “Mandy says you have a question about the health insurance?”

I ran a hand through my hair. “Just trying to figure out the mental health options.”

“Hmmm…” he started. “If I recall they’re not the greatest. Have to have preapproval and referral from your primary.”

I sighed. Did I want to go through all those hoops?

“It might have gotten better since I last checked though,” he continued. “I’m not the best about keeping up with the changes. I make sure that the prices don’t go crazy each year, and that they only add rather than remove coverages. But once I sign off I usually move on to thinking about other things. You should probably call to get the most accurate answer.”

“Ugh, forever on hold.”

“I hear ya.” He paused and scratched his beard. “There might be another option.”

“Hmm?”

“My cousin Jace works at the university. He was talking about some recent changes, and that the psychology department expanded their community mental health program. It’s a sliding scale thing, as long as you don’t mind working with supervised students.”

“I’ll keep that in mind if the insurance falls through. Thanks.”

He smiled. “Glad to help. You’ve already got one weekday off, but let me know if I need to adjust your schedule for any appointments.”

“Hopefully I’ll be able to set something up on my day off, but I’ll let you know.”

“Good. I’ll let you finish your lunch.”

“Thanks, Owen.”

He stood and meandered back toward the kitchen while I turned my attention to my food. I finished quickly, took my dishes to the bussing station, and said my goodbyes.

There were still a couple of hours before the guys were expecting me, so I decided to head to a nearby park to wait out the hold time. Soon I was seated on a bench under a tree sporting new leaves and listening to tinny music coming through my earbuds.

I felt better about a long-term future with the guys than I had with any other alpha I’d dated. More importantly, I was confident that they would respect whatever boundaries around sex I set.

I felt safe, and that made me want to explore my sexuality with them.

However, I knew that the path wasn’t that easy. There would be ups and downs. My last therapist had thought I was ready—whenever I found the right alpha—but had cautioned that old insecurities and fears could come back as I opened up.

I didn’t want to put that on the guys. They were already being gentle with me, and I didn’t want them to think they’d done anything wrong. So finding a new therapist was the best option. They would be a neutral party and would keep me on the right path.

The call connected only a few minutes before five. Luckily, the tired-sounding customer service rep was able to answer my questions quickly. Therapy was covered if referred by a primary care physician.

I sighed, called my doctor’s office to make an appointment, then decided to head to the guys’ house.

Beck and Tony were both home when I arrived—Tony playing a video game and Beck flitting between the kitchen and Pico’s play area.

“Hold on guys,” Tony said into his headset. “Our omega just arrived and I want to welcome him.”

Our omega…

Two little words, but created a need. Something in me craved hearing them over and over.

“Of course I still suck alpha cock,” Tony laughed into the headpiece. “I like sucking alpha cock, and taking knots. But we met an omega we all like and are dating him.”

There was a pause, during which Tony glanced over and smiled. Then he rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an ass.”

He laughed, took off the headphones, set it and the controller aside, then strode over. He pulled me into a kiss. “I’ll be done after this round.”

“Don’t stop on my account,” I replied.

He grinned. “It was time anyway. I usually stop when Ian and Freddie get home. My gaming buddies are used to it.”

“Ok.”

He released me and Beck moved in to hug me.

“It’s how Tony relaxes after work,” Beck explained.

“I get it,” I laughed. “He’s probably got it worse since his customers are under-caffeinated, but we all get a few assholes each shift. It comes with working in the restaurant industry.”

“Under-caffeinated assholes are the worst!” Tony declared from where he’d resumed his game. “Like I’ll hook you up, but it takes longer when you’re complaining that the temperature of your drink was half a degree off two weeks ago. We do our best, but you’re getting a hot latte like the twenty people behind you. My job is to get those drinks out as quickly as possible. If you want your drink treated as an exact science every time, learn to make it at home. I’m told how many shots of espresso, how many pumps of syrup, and hot or iced. That’s what I’m doing.”

I laughed. “I see your ‘you didn’t do it perfectly,’ and raise being blamed for a mistake from the kitchen that I had nothing to do with.”

Tony winced. “Best I can do ‘But the place down the street always does it for me this way!’”

“Sounds like a draw to me,” Beck stated from where he was twirling a stick to encourage Pico to turn around.

“Agreed,” I said.

Tony laughed. “Works for me.” Then, “Oh, you assholes. Who headshot me?”

Beck chuckled. “One of his gaming buddies always headshots him when he’s distracted for too long. Nobody spills who it is though. It might be just one, or whoever has the best shot at the time.”

“Sounds kind of mean,” I replied.

Beck shrugged. “They all have little pranks they play on each other. Tony likes to push them into areas where camera angles suck so they have a hard time getting back out. I forget what some of the others do. But everybody’s cool. They call each other names, laugh about it, and move on. It’s just a game, and they’re there to have fun.”

I nodded. “I guess that’s true.”

“More importantly,” Beck continued, “I honestly believe that if he ever got mad about it, they’d stop. He’s been playing with the same group for a while. They’ve never met in person, but they’re close as net friends.”

I smiled. “That’s good.”

Beck nodded.

“I kissed a bird,” Pico sang. “I kissed a bird.”

“He’s really getting it,” I noted.

“He’s still struggling a bit with the next line,” Beck said. “But it’s pretty close now.”

“What’s next on the list?”

He shrugged. “I think something from that new song by Twisting Flint. You know, the one that goes ‘Slap that thing to make me sing.’ I’d change that to ‘Flap that wing to make me sing.’ Either that or a line from ‘Shake a Tail Feather.’”

“Ooh, both good choices.”

He nodded. “He’ll learn both eventually. But I think ‘Shake a Tail Feather’ will be later, since it’s an old song.”

“Makes sense.”

There was a ding. “Oops, I’ll be right back,” Beck said.

“Something I can help with?” I asked, following him into the kitchen.

“Naw, I’m good. That was my signal to take the chicken out of the marinade and move it into the oven.”

“It seemed like you were pretty busy a few minutes ago.”

He laughed. “I was blanching the green beans. But that’s done. I’ll sauté them while the chicken is resting.”

“Oh.”

He smiled and tugged me against his chest before kissing my forehead. “There will be plenty of time to help with cooking in the future, but tonight we want you to relax and enjoy yourself.”

I swallowed and nodded. “Ok.”

A mix of nerves and desire coursed through me. I’d be spending the night with the guys in their bed for the first time, after watching them pleasure each other.

Beck released me and strode to the fridge, where he pulled out a covered bowl.

“You sure you don’t need help?” I asked.

“I’m sure,” he replied as he grabbed a baking dish. “But thank you.”

“Uh-huh,” I replied, then wandered back into the living room, where Tony seemed to be saying goodbye to the people he was playing with.

“Pico Pico,” the bird declared from his play area.

“Hey Pico,” I replied, walking over and taking a seat next to him. “How are you today?”

He chirped and trilled in response, floofing his head and showing off the dots and colored lines on his cheeks.

Tony walked up and draped himself over my shoulders. “How was your day?”

Once again I was struck with a sense of longing. What would it be like to live with them, to be asked those four words every day?

I smiled. “It was ok. A bit slow, but there are days like that.”

He laughed. “Yeah. But bosses always figure out ways to fill that time.”

“Owen had us cleaning. Nothing’s ever gross. He has a crew that comes to deep clean the dining room regularly. But there are always things that could use a touch-up.”

“That explains why you smell slightly of bleach.”

I groaned. “I should have gone home to shower.”

He kissed just below my ear. “You’re fine. It’s a clean smell. And you’re welcome to shower here if it bothers you. But you didn’t go home?”

“I… ummm…” I took a deep breath. “I spent some time on hold with my health insurance, trying to figure out if they’ll cover visits to a sex therapist.”

“You’re not pushing yourself, are you?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. But I wanted to get established with one here.”

“You’re doing this for you, right?”

I nodded.

“Good.” He stood. “Did you want to shower before the others get home? They should be here in a few minutes.”

I thought about the question. “Yeah, I should scrub off the cleaning products.”

“Ok,” he replied, kissing my hair. “See you in a few.”

I chuckled and made my way to the hall bathroom. It was as I stepped into the bathtub and pulled the shower curtain closed that I started to wonder how many more times I would use it. Would I enjoy sharing a bed with the guys? If I did, I’d probably start using their en suite.

My thoughts swirled as I ran shampoo through my hair and scrubbed my skin.

I started trembling. Was I moving too fast?

I crouched, holding my head and letting the water cascade over me. Soap bubbles swirled around my feet before disappearing down the drain.

I wanted this. I was excited. Nervous, but excited. But was I pushing myself?

I jumped at a knock on the door. “I-I’ll be right out.”

“You ok?” Ian asked. “You’ve been in there a while.”

“Y-yeah.”

“Ok.” There was a pause, then, “Mind if I come in?”

“I… um… ok.”

The door opened; a soft click as it latched again. Then sound of Ian closing the toilet lid and sitting on it.

“You’re not pushing yourself, are you?”

I barked a laugh. “I was just wondering the same thing.”

“You don’t have to do this. We can put on a movie and have a cuddle pile instead.”

I sighed and shifted from my crouch to sit in the tub. I pulled my knees to my chest. “I want this. I’m scared, but I’m excited too.”

“Is it the right time though? There’s a difference between wanting it and being ready.”

“I don’t know if there’s ever a right time. Until I do it, there will always be that fear.”

“It’s not only the pain you’re scared of though, is it? There’s nothing to cause it when you’re watching.”

I leaned back and stared at the shower head. “I’ve never trusted alphas to stop before. I don’t mean as in they’d keep going once I said stop, I mean that any little movement from me would be seen as a door they could force open. A man can only hear he’ll ‘like it once he tries it’ so many times before it feels like alphas are only interested in one thing. If I let one give me a blow job or a handy, how long would it be before they insisted that since I liked that, I’d like being fucked? Instead, I built a wall. Nothing at all would happen until I felt safe—until I knew that…”

I blew out a long breath.

“Until you knew that your boundaries would be respected?” Ian asked.

“Yeah…”

“Do you feel safe with us?”

“I do, but…”

There was a beat of silence, then, “But it’s hard to tear down those walls, isn’t it.”

I nodded, then remembered that he wouldn’t be able to see me through the shower curtain. “I’ve been walled off so long that I don’t know how to live without them.”

“That makes sense.” The toilet lid creaked as he shifted. “Long term, what do you want? For yourself. Be selfish. Do you imagine yourself enjoying sex? Us or somebody else doesn’t matter. I’m wondering how you see your future. Do you want kids? If so, do you want to carry your babies, or do you want to adopt? How do you get there?”

The water was starting to cool. It was still warm enough, but I could tell the water heater was running low.

“I don’t know about enjoying sex,” I finally admitted. “I don’t know if I’ll have an answer until I try it.”

“That’s fair.”

“I want to be a papa though,” I whispered.

“I think you’d make a good papa.”

I smiled. “What do I do?”

“That’s up to you. We’re not going to push.”

“What do you want?” I asked, a shiver tainting my voice as the water turned cold. I reached over and turned off the faucet.

“I want you comfortable, no matter what that looks like.”

I huffed. “You know what I mean.”

He chuckled. “Ok…” A deep breath. “There’s something special about that level of intimacy. You’re vulnerable with your partner, and them with you. That high when you come is amazing, and sharing that moment… there’s nothing like it. And there are so many ways to get there. I’ve enjoyed myself just as much when jerking myself while whoever I’m with is jerking himself, as I have when knotting or being knotted.”

He paused. “Do I want to share this with you tonight? Yes. I think we all do. I know you’re scared, but I think that seeing us will help. We’re not some anonymous people in a porno who’ve been paid to show pleasure. You know us. You’re used to our expressions and our tones of voice. There’s no editing. You’ll know that it’s real. And I promise, we’ll keep our hands off you.”

I licked my lips. “Wh-what if I want to be touched?”

“ Do you want to be touched?”

“Yes… Maybe… I don’t know.” I paused. “It felt so good when you touched me the other day, even though it was over my pants.”

“Then that’s a discussion for everyone,” he replied. “We all need to be on the same page with what’s ok and what’s not.”

I barked another laugh. “It’s things like that that make me trust you. Any other alpha would have jumped at the suggestion.”

He chuckled. “I’d expect there are more good alphas out there than you think. But bad experiences have a way of making things seem worse than they are.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

Shifting, then Ian stood. The sound of fabric as he pulled a towel from the bar. “Come on, Sweetheart. Rinse off and join us. Dinner’s almost done. Relax and let the night go as it will.”

I managed to get to my feet, wishing there was a more graceful way to do that from sitting in a tub, and pulled the shower curtain aside so I could poke my head out. “The soap all washed off while we talked.”

He smiled and held the towel open. “Want me to close my eyes?”

I swallowed. If everything went well, I’d be naked in the same room with all of them in a matter of hours. Did it matter if Ian saw my dick then or later?

I pushed the curtain the rest of the way aside and stepped out of the tub, feeling Ian’s gaze the whole time until I stepped into the open towel.

Ian wrapped the fluffy fabric around me and closed the distance. He kissed my wet hair. “You’re gorgeous.”

I laughed against his chest. “You’ve seen everything before, except my dick.”

“And you have a nice one. I’m glad you let me see it.”

“You do know that I was pretty cold in there, right?”

He laughed. “So you’re telling me that’s what you look like with shrinkage?”

My face heated. “Yeah…”

“Lucky us. Hopefully one day you’ll let us get our mouths all over that. Or, hell, I would like you to fuck me.”

“Th-that’s an option?”

He laughed. “I don’t see why not. That is, if you’d like to.”

“I’ve never thought about it. Omegas aren’t supposed to fuck alphas.”

“Well, that’s bullshit. And whatever alphas think that are missing out.”