Ghost (Satan’s Fury MC: Little Rock #3)

16. Whitney

Whitney

Ghost had only been gone for a night, but I’d missed him.

I’d missed him more than I cared to admit. I’d tried to keep myself busy by cleaning the house and helping Toby with his schoolwork, but I hadn’t been able to get him off my mind. I had this gnawing feeling that something was wrong. I’d tried calling him, but he didn’t answer.

And that just made me worry even more.

I made us some breakfast, then folded some clothes. When I was done, I went into the living room and tried to read some of my books. I hadn’t been sitting there long when I heard the rumble of Sutton’s bike pulling up the drive. I shot up off the sofa and rushed for the door.

I darted outside just as he’d made his way up to the porch. He looked tired, really tired, but he was here, and he was safe. Without a second thought, I rushed toward him. He let out a low grunt as my body collided with his, but his hands were already sliding around my waist, pulling me close like he’d missed me just as much.

“You’re back,” I whispered against his neck, my heart thundering in my chest.

“Yeah,” he rumbled, his voice rough, but there was a softness in it that I’d come to love. “I’m back.”

I pulled back just enough to look up at him. His eyes met mine, and something inside me melted. Without thinking, I inched up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his, kissing him. His grip on me tightened as he kissed me back, slow and deep. God, I’d missed him.

After a few seconds, Sutton eased back and asked, “Did you and Toby make it okay?”

“It wasn’t easy being away from Mr. Steel and Sex Appeal, but we survived,” I teased.

“Glad to hear.” He reached for the door as he said, “I need a shower.”

He pulled the handle, and that’s when I finally noticed his hands.

His knuckles were bruised with dried blood and raw, deep scratches that went across the back of his hand. It looked like he’d gone a few rounds in a terrible fight, or he’d been in some kind of accident. I reached out and took his left hand in mine, and I gasped when I saw just how bad they really were. “What in the world happened?”

He looked down at them like he hadn’t noticed the damage before, then shrugged, playing it off like it was nothing. “Just a little scuffle. Nothing to worry about.”

But it wasn’t nothing. Not to me. Those marks looked fresh, like whatever had happened wasn’t just "a little scuffle."

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me.”

“I’m fine, Cricket.” He waved it off and headed inside, trying to avoid the conversation. “It’s nothing.”

I followed right behind him as I argued, “It’s clearly not nothing.”

“It’s just a couple of scratches.”

“You’re really not going to tell me what happened?”

“It’s nothing. Just leave it alone.” I was beyond frustrated that he wouldn’t tell me what happened. I was even more frustrated that he was shutting me out. “I’m gonna take a shower,”

“Sutton—” I started, but he’d already disappeared into his room.

The door to his room clicked shut, and seconds later, the water kicked on. But I didn’t move. I just stood there, trying to shake the gnawing feeling that had settled in my stomach.

Sutton was strong and more than capable of handling himself, but that didn’t stop the ache in my chest when I thought about him being hurt. This was his life and the path he’d chosen to take, but it was hard to shake the uneasy feeling gnawing at me. I just had to focus on the fact that he was back home, and he was okay.

Nothing else really mattered—at least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

I kept repeating it to myself every time I caught a glimpse of his hands. It wasn’t easy, but I decided that I had a choice to make. I could let this become an issue and put a divide between us, or I could remember that Sutton was a man I trusted. He’d never given me a reason not to, so I decided to let it go.

After his shower, he’d gone out to the garage, and he’d been there for the better part of the afternoon. I gave him his space, but when it started to get late, I decided to go check on him. When I walked up, he was piddling with some old bike parts. “You hungry?”

“Yeah, I could eat.” He glanced back over his shoulder, and my chest tightened when those baby blues met mine. “Whatcha got in mind?”

“There’s some hamburger meat in the fridge. I could make some of my mini burgers or some spaghetti.”

“We could do that, or we could head over to the club. Goose and some of the guys are grilling ribs, and I’m sure Garrison’s there with Dagger.”

I had no idea that Toby was in the garage with him until I heard him shout, “That would be awesome! Can we go, Mom?”

“Sure, sounds good to me.”

“Yes!”

Sutton closed his toolbox and started toward the house. “Give me a second to get cleaned up.”

“Toby needs to do the same.”

“But...”

“Come on, buddy. It’ll only take a minute.”

Toby groaned, but he did as he was told and rushed inside to get cleaned up. Once they’d both changed, we headed out to the truck, and Sutton drove us over to the clubhouse. As soon as we were parked, Toby took off to find Garrison and the other kids while Sutton and I made our way around back.

When we walked up, Dagger and several of the other brothers were standing around the grill, drinking a beer. Memphis was at the grill. His face was serious with concentration as he turned the ribs. Rusty hovered nearby, pretending to give his brother pointers, even though Memphis was ignoring every word.

Goose was sitting in a chair next to Seven. His feet were propped up on the cooler, and there was a plate of half-eaten ribs already in his lap. He gave us all a warm smile as he said, “I was wondering if you guys were gonna show.”

“Looks like we got here just in time.”

“Yeah, you better grab a plate before the food gets gone.”

“Hold your damn horses,” Memphis complained. “These lack a good ten minutes. Maybe more.”

“They’re fine.” Goose held up his plate. “These were just right... falling off the bone and seasoned to perfection.”

“Ten more minutes, and they would’ve changed your life.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

As usual, the atmosphere was light and full of easy laughter and good-natured teasing. It was just what we needed. Sutton grabbed me a drink, and it wasn’t long before he got caught up in a conversation with Memphis and Rusty.

I had no interest in listening to them talk about Rusty’s faulty carburetor, so I was relieved when I spotted Kay waving at me. She was sitting at one of the picnic tables with Jenna and Antonia. It had been weeks since I’d last seen them, and I couldn’t wait to go over and say hello. I leaned over to Sutton and whispered, “I’ll be right back.”

I walked over to their table. Like me, Jenna and Antonia were wearing jeans and sweatshirts, and Kay was wearing something similar. But with her hair done, perfect makeup, and matching jewelry, she looked like she was ready to hit the town. She smiled as she scooted over and said, “Long time no see.”

“I know. It’s been too long.” I took my place next to her, then turned to Jenna and Antonia. “How have you guys been?”

“Good. Just busy,” Jenna answered. “Luna’s started a gymnastics class, and it seems like we are constantly on the run.”

“Oh, gymnastics sounds fun!”

“She’s certainly enjoying it. Grim, on the other hand, isn’t all that thrilled about her doing somersaults all through the house.”

“Oh, I can imagine.”

“It’s been pretty quiet around our place.” There was a sadness in Antonia’s eyes, and I had no idea why it was there. I hoped she would give some kind of clue, but all she said was, “And I don’t see that changing any time soon... Well, not for another four to five months.”

“Four to five months?” Jenna’s mouth dropped. “Wait! Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“We’re pregnant.” Antonia smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “It sounds so corny when people say that. I’m the one who’s pregnant... I guess it’s better to say we’re expecting.”

“That’s amazing news!”

“You both must be so excited.”

“We are.”

“I am beyond thrilled!” Kay exclaimed. “I’m going to be a grandmother!”

“That’s so great.”

“It is. It really is.” Antonia’s voice cracked as she added, “The timing isn’t the best, but we’re happy. Really, really happy.”

“I know it’s hard, but we’re here for you.” Kay reached over and placed her hand on Antonia’s.

Jenna was quick to say, “And there’s always a chance he’ll be back before the baby’s born.”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

I had no idea who they were talking about, but it was clear that Antonia was upset that they were gone. They continued to talk for a minute, and I used the opportunity to glance over at Sutton. He was standing next to Dagger, and he was laughing at something one of the guys had said. He was completely at ease, and the tension he so often carried was nowhere to be found. The sight of him made me smile.

Jenna must’ve noticed me looking because she leaned in with a smirk. “I know that look.”

“What look?”

“That one.” She giggled. “It’s the same one I had when I fell for Grim, and Antonia had it when she fell for Memphis. Seems the love bug is catching.”

“The love bug?” I shook my head and laughed. “I don’t know about all that.”

“I do, and I’m telling ya. I’ve been there.” Jenna gave me a wink. “And once you fall for one of these boys, there’s no going back.”

And just like that, Jenna told me all about how Grim had taken her and Luna in and saved them from living on the streets and how he’d rescued Luna from some crazy guy that was connected to her brother.

And then, Antonia told me all about her and Memphis and explained how they’d met when Kay and Carmine got married. They’d fought their feelings for over a year, but things took a turn when Memphis was in a horrible accident.

I’d already heard Kay and Preacher’s story, so I teased, “You know, there’s this thing called dating. I know it’s old fashioned and all, but I’ve heard that some people have had a lot of luck with it.”

“Says the girl who fell for the guy who was put in charge of protecting her.”

“Touché’.”

We all laughed and carried on a little while longer, and then Jenna turned and looked over at the guys. They were hovering over the table of food, and it looked like they were clearing it out. “We should probably go grab a bite to eat before the guys devour it all.”

“You’re probably right. I’ll go over and make us a couple of plates.”

“I’ll give you a hand.”

Antonia followed Jenna over to the guys, leaving me alone with Kay. She used the opportunity to lean over to me and whisper, “I talked to Preacher.”

“You did?” She didn’t seem all that thrilled about the idea when I suggested it, so I didn’t expect her to actually follow through with it. “When?”

“It was a couple of nights ago. We’d had another one of our stupid arguments, and I decided it was time for us to hash it out once and for all.”

“And how did it go?”

“Not the way I thought it would,” she admitted. “We talked about how things were back when we first got together, and it was nice going down memory lane with him. We had some good times together.”

“You know, you’re gonna have to be a little more specific,” I pushed. “I’m gonna need to hear about these good times you guys had.”

“Oh, there’re so many.” A light blush crept across her face. “There was this one time when we’d gone out riding, and it started to rain...”

Before she could go any further, Jenna and Antonia returned with several plates balanced in their hands—each of them filled with potato salad, baked beans, and ribs. Jenna giggled as she told us, “I would’ve brought more, but I would’ve had to wrestle the guys for it.”

“This is plenty.”

We ate and talked for another hour or so, and then, everyone started to disperse. Sutton came over to the table, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that the long day had taken a toll on him. “You ready to go?”

“Whenever you are.”

“You think we can wrangle up Toby?”

“Go on out to the truck. I’ll get him.”

He nodded, then headed out to the parking lot. I said my goodbyes to the girls, then went to track down Toby. As I expected, he was in the back playing football with Garrison. It took some coercing, but I managed to get him out to the truck, and we headed home. As soon as we got to the house, we started our nightly routines, and once Toby was asleep, I slipped down to Sutton’s room.

When I walked in, Sutton was already in bed and sound asleep. I didn’t want to wake him, so I headed back to my room and went to sleep. I have no idea how long I’d been out when I felt my covers being pulled back. I opened my eyes to find Sutton hovering over me.

"Sutton! What are you doing?"

Without saying a word, he slipped his arms under me and lifted me into his arms, cradling me against his chest. I didn’t fight him. Instead, I melted against him, resting my head on his broad shoulder. He carried me into his room, kicking the door shut before carrying me over to the bed. When he laid me down, I looked up and asked, “What is this about?”

“You didn’t come.”

I opened my mouth to explain why I’d stayed in my own room, but he cut me off. “I want you in my bed, Cricket. Not just tonight, but every night.”

I stared up at him with my heart hammering in my chest. His words settled over me, heavy and unshakable, and they hit me hard.

All I could do was whisper, “Okay.”

We were beyond the point of just seeing how things were going and taking it slow. This was a turning point in our relationship, and I had never felt more ready to move forward.

The next day, life went back to normal.

Sutton settled in to watch the game while Toby played in his room. I’d already finished my book, so I decided to do a little work around the house. I’d already done my usual cleaning, but I had a couple of loads of laundry to do. I went to Sutton’s bathroom to grab his hamper when I spotted his duffle bag on the floor. I remembered him taking it on his trip and figured his clothes were still inside. I didn’t think much of it. I just grabbed it, unzipped it, and started pulling things out—jeans, socks, and his t-shirt.

At first, I didn’t notice anything unusual. I just tossed everything into the hamper and went on my way. I carried it to the laundry and started tossing everything into the washer. I was about to pour in the detergent when something on his t-shirt caught my attention.

I reached in and pulled it out and gasped when I saw there was blood on it. And not just a little, either. There were splatters and smears like someone had really been hurt—but who?

My breath caught in my throat, and for a second, I just stood there staring at it, and then, I remembered his hands. I said I was going to let it go, but this was too much. I had to at least ask him about it, so I took the shirt and carried it into the living room.

Sutton was sitting in his recliner, watching the game—completely unaware that I was on the brink of losing it. I cleared my throat, holding the shirt up so he could see it. “What’s this?”

He looked up, and his eyes narrowed when they landed on the bloodstained fabric. His expression didn’t change, but I saw the way his jaw tightened. He didn’t say anything at first. He just sat there, staring at the shirt like he was weighing how much to tell me—so I gave him a push. “I know I’m supposed to be hunky-dory with all this and let it go, but this is a lot, Sutton.”

Finally, he let out a long breath and sighed, “It’s not my blood, Cricket.”

“Okay. Then, whose is it?”

My voice shook, and I hated that it did. But after everything Toby and I had been through, the last thing I needed was more violence in my life.

“I can’t answer that. All I can tell you is... I handle things when they need handling .” His movements were calm and deliberate as he stood and started over to me. “That’s all you need to know.”

I had no idea how to respond, so I didn’t.

I just stood there staring at him, and eventually, he said, “The time has come, Cricket. You’ve gotta decide, once and for all ... Do you trust me or not ?”

He was right.

And deep down, I knew the truth.

I wasn’t afraid because I didn’t think he was the right man.

I was afraid because I knew he was.

There were just things that made it hard to give into him completely when there were so many things he kept from me. I knew there were things about the club he’d never be able to share, but there were some things I simply had to know. It was the only way we could move forward, so I said, “I want to trust you, Sutton. I really do, but you don’t make it easy. You have all these things you can’t talk about, and you’ve yet to tell me about your past and what happened to you.”

He didn’t respond.

He just stood there staring at me with a blank expression, so I pushed, “You know about my nightmares, but I still know nothing about yours.”

“You’re right. I should’ve told you.”

“Then, tell me.” I crossed my arms and stood my ground. “You want me to trust you, but you’ve yet to trust me.”

“I do trust you. That’s not it.” Anguish filled his eyes as he said, “Honestly, I don’t know why I haven’t told you. I guess I figured talking about it would open old wounds, but they’ve never really healed. Not sure they ever will.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sutton. What wounds?”

“I was married.”

His words hit me like a truck.

He’d never mentioned anything about an ex, much less a wife.

It was a shock to hear, but he wasn’t done yet. In fact, he was just getting started. “Her name was Tracy, and we had a son named Grady.”

A knot formed in my throat, and it grew and grew as Sutton told me the story of how he’d learned about his son’s death and the funeral that followed. It was gut-wrenching to hear, and I could only imagine how hard it was to live through it.

I could still remember when Toby was that age and how little and vulnerable he was. My heart ached at the thought of losing him. “Oh, Sutton. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“I still have nightmares... It’s one of the reasons I came and got you last night. They don’t come when you’re with me, at least, not the really bad ones.”

“What are the really bad ones?”

“The ones where Grady is calling for me. His arms are up, and he’s begging for me, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t get to him. And just when I start getting close, he disappears.”

“Oh Sutton, that breaks my heart,” I replied, as I reached for him.

“It breaks mine, too.” He looked up at me, his eyes glistening with emotion. “So, now you know.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“There’s something I need you to take away from this... Losing Grady nearly broke me. I put the blame on Tracy, and I lost her, too. I put my focus on the club, and for a long time, I thought that was all I needed.” He lowered his hands to my waist and pulled me close. “And then, I met you. And for the first time in a very fucking long time, I feel something real.”

His blue eyes pierced through me as he continued, “I’m not perfect, Cricket. Far from it. I’m gonna make mistakes, but I want to try to be the man you and Toby need me to be.”

Overcome with emotion, I wound my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “You already are.”

He didn’t respond.

Instead, he just held me against his chest. There were so many things I loved about him, but the feeling I had when I was in his arms got to me the most. I thought back to everything we’d been through, and even though it had been hard, something good had come from it. We’d found each other, and together, we could face anything.