Gift-Wrapped in a Kilt (Hot Scots #4)

Chapter Twenty

Gavin watched Jamie's eyes narrow and her lips compress. She tried to push away from him, to wriggle out of his embrace, but he held her fast. She needed to understand, and he would not let her run away this time.

"Listen," he said, tunneling a hand into her hair to grasp her nape. "Don't get upset until I've explained, okay? Listen for a minute."

Though her lips puckered, and she hissed a breath out her nostrils, she nodded once.

He gazed into her eyes, determined not to mess up this time. "I've got problems. I know that, but I don't understand why. Thought I was over my first marriage, thought I'd gotten past my parents dying, but I guess I haven't, not really. Didn't think Calli marrying Aidan and moving across an ocean bothered me, but I was wrong about that too. I don't know why that bothers me. It's not Aidan, I'm cool with him. It's… Shit. I don't know, but I have to figure it out before I can marry you. Wouldn't be fair to drag you into my mess."

Jamie's lips relaxed, but she still wore a tense expression. "I'm already in your mess. Hip deep and getting dragged down."

Her words, spoken in a soft voice, smacked him like a brick in the face. She felt dragged down? Christ, no wonder she was hanging out with her douchebag ex. A rich guy who had his shit together must've seemed like a breath of fresh air.

"I get why you feel that way," he said. "I'm sorry. I never meant to get you stuck in this quicksand my life has turned into. Everything was great in the beginning and for so long after that. I don't know why things changed, but I have to figure it out. And I can't do it alone."

Still trapped in his arms, mashed to his body, she couldn't turn away but could only avert her eyes. "You're going back to America, aren't you? To get therapy or whatever help it is you need."

"No. I'm staying put." He swept a lock of hair from her face with one finger. "I love you. I'm not giving up on us until you tell me it's over, for good and forever. Weird as it is, Emery and Iain both helped me see what I need to do. Leaving you was not the answer. Sex only is not the answer. I need help, but not from strangers."

She turned her eyes up to his, hers glistening with the start of tears.

The sight of it made his heart hurt.

He took her face in both his hands. "I need your help. I need you, Jamie, nobody else."

She squashed her trembling lips between her teeth. "What can I do?"

"Not sure. We can figure it out together, okay?" He touched a kiss to the tip of her nose. "If you still want me around. I know this is a lot to ask —"

"Of course I want you." Her smile was faint and shaky, but her voice sounded solid. "But I need something from you too."

"Anything. Just say it."

"Honesty." She sealed his lips with two fingers when he tried to speak. "You made me realize my sex-only idea was stupid, and I love you too much for anything between us to be casual. I'm officially canceling that plan. But you need to tell me the truth, all of it, about your past and your feelings, everything. I know men don't like to talk about things like that, but we can't make a future together if you won't share your life with me. All of it. Not only the good parts. I'll do the same for you."

This was it, he realized. The pivotal moment. She'd given up her goofy plan for him and asked only one thing in return. If he couldn't give her what she needed, they didn't have any future.

His gut wrenched, and his mouth went dry, but he told her the truth. "I want to do that, but I don't think it'll be easy for me."

"All I'm asking is for you to try. Give it your best shot, for us." Her eyes captivated him, so clear and bright, the tears gone. "Can you do that, Gavin?"

"Yes." And he meant it with every fiber of his being. "I might screw up again, but I'll try my damnedest not to."

"Good." She feathered her soft lips over his. "That's all I need tonight."

Though he exhaled a gusty breath, relief washing through him, a sliver of icy doubt stayed lodged in his chest. Never in his life had he opened up to anyone, not completely, not about his deepest fears and most painful experiences. It might be excruciating. It might be exhausting. It might convince Jamie she belonged with somebody else, somebody not messed up beyond repair.

Not beyond repair. He couldn't think that way. No matter how much this hurt, he would give Jamie what she'd asked for.

He would do anything for her.

"Thank you," he said, then he kissed her, tender and slow. "I don't deserve a second chance with you, but I'm damn grateful you gave me one."

"You do deserve it." She laid a hand on his cheek. "And I know you won't let me down again."

Gavin flipped onto his back, scrutinizing the ceiling. "Would you rather I leave and come back tomorrow?"

"What? No." She gave his chest a light slap. "Don't be a bleeding bampot."

He'd spent enough time around the MacTaggarts to know she was calling him bat-shit crazy. And he supposed he had been acting that way. "Should we start talking yet?"

The last word mutated into a big yawn.

Jamie snuggled up to him, her head on his chest. "Tomorrow. I'm sure Aidan had you working hard all day breaking rocks."

"That was Iain's idea." Gavin pulled the covers up over them. "Aidan would've let us use the backhoe, but Iain decided backbreaking work would do me good."

"Seems like it did." She pressed her lips to his chest. "Good night, Gavin."

"Good night, Jamie." He kissed the top of her head.

He felt her body slacken against him and heard her breathing grow shallower. He stayed awake long after she drifted off, content to have her with him but dreading the trials to come. He'd wanted this, to hash it all out with his best friend and best girl, but the reality of it knotted his gut.

Confess everything to Jamie. That would be hard enough.

Get in good with Lachlan and Rory… That would be his epic journey to redemption.

If the two Macs didn't slay him.

*****

The sunrise glowed behind Jamie's eyes as she lay snuggled against Gavin in bed, half awake. Lying here with him while he slept felt so nice she didn't want to move or open her eyes. She rubbed her cheek on his firm, warm chest, loving the scent of his skin and the softness of it compared to the hardness of his muscles. They were back together. Warmth bloomed in her chest at the realization. She hadn't wanted to break up with him in the first place, but his stunt with the credit card had hurt her more than she'd been able to admit even to herself. His statements about her brothers, though, that had devastated her. How could she be with someone who despised her family?

Her sex-only plan had been spurred by her fears Gavin might turn out to be like Trevor. He was nothing like Trevor, and at last she'd accepted that fact. Maybe Rory had done her a favor by inviting Trevor to the Halloween party. Confronting her ex had, oddly, pushed her to confront fears she'd sublimated for too long.

Now, if she could give Gavin a similar cleansing experience…

When had everything turned so wrong?

Gavin got along well with Catriona and Fiona. It was only her brothers who brought out something in him she still didn't understand. Of course, it didn't help that Rory glared at Gavin constantly or that Lachlan treated him like an invader in the MacTaggart clan's kingdom.

If she was completely honest about it, she had to admit her two oldest brothers hadn't been welcoming to Gavin. Lachlan had once told Gavin, "You're in our country now, laddie, best show a little respect." Jamie knew — or maybe hoped — Lachlan had been joking. As the oldest and most overbearing sibling, he often made jokes with a serious expression on his face, especially if he wanted to intimidate the other person. Rory did the same thing, but he'd learned it from Lachlan.

She peeled her lids apart to gaze up at Gavin's sleeping face. His lips had curved up in a slight smile as if he dreamed of sweet things. She propped her chin on his chest. Their relationship had started out so well. Perfect, actually, in spite of Aidan getting a wee bit peevish about the speed at which things had progressed. Like Aidan had any right to be peevish about that. He'd moved into Calli's guest bedroom after a few days and seduced her not long after. When Jamie had arrived for a visit, Aidan had moved into Calli's bedroom to give Jamie the guest room.

Her thoughts rewound to eighteen months ago when she'd first seen Gavin Douglas. Aidan and Calli had just brought her home from the airport to Calli's house in the woods of Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Calli's puppies, Misty and Mandy, had glommed onto Jamie the instant she walked into the house. Since she'd always loved animals, Jamie had knelt to let them lick and climb on her the way puppies did.

Then the sliding glass doors had opened, and Gavin strode into the house.

Her pulse quickened at the sight of him, six foot one and muscular, standing straight and proud, those pale-gold eyes surveying the situation. When he spotted the puppies assaulting Jamie with their love, his brows had furrowed and his mouth fell open a crack.

She rose, smoothing her skirt, and turned to Gavin. "You must be Calli's brother. I'm Jamie, Aidan's sister."

Gavin's furrowed brow ironed out, and he smiled the goofiest smile she'd ever seen. He hustled over to her, nearly tripping over the puppies in his determination to clasp her hand in his bigger one for a lingering handshake.

And oh yes, Aidan watched from a few meters away with his mouth crimping and his eyes narrowing.

"Hey," Gavin said, a touch breathless, his hand still around hers. "Nice to, uh, meet you. I'm Gavin. Douglas. Calli's brother, Gavin Douglas.

Jamie grinned, delighted by his nervousness. Big, strong men rarely let their nerves show. Calli had told her Gavin was a former Marine, so she would've expected him to be stoic. Instead, he grinned right back at her, a bit lopsided, and maintained dominion over her hand.

She loved the feel of his callused, powerful hand enveloping hers.

Aidan rushed forward to seize her wrist and wrest her hand free of Gavin's. Through gritted teeth, he said, "Let me show you to your room."

She let Aidan haul her away but half turned to flash a smile at Gavin, who flashed her that lopsided grin again. As her bossy brother dragged her down the hallway, she heard Calli tell Gavin, "Gee, Gav, looks to me like you're going gushy over Aidan's sister."

And Jamie had giggled, so softly only Aidan heard it.

Her brother, of course, scowled about it.

She'd later learned Gavin was staying in a hunting shack in the woods not far from the house.

For the next few days, she'd seen Gavin only when Calli and Aidan were around, the three of them spending the days together. Every night, Aidan and Calli would retreat into the bedroom they shared, and Jamie would hole up in the guest room and dream about Gavin Douglas's muscles and his smile and his sexy voice.

One day, she and Gavin had taken the puppies for a walk without Aidan or Calli. That's when it had happened. Their first kiss.

Jamie had been holding onto Mandy's leash, the smaller puppy easier for her to handle. Bigger Misty had been pulling on her leash, half dragging Gavin down the trail through the woods. They'd stopped for a rest in a small clearing. The puppies flopped down in the grass, panting but smiling in the way only dogs could. A patch of the bluest-blue sky she'd ever seen was visible above their heads, and a breeze stirred the leaves of the trees so they sizzled like a skillet of bacon.

"I'm starved," Jamie announced, her stomach grumbling from her thoughts of frying meat. "Should we go back to the house?"

Gavin aimed his golden eyes at her, raking his gaze up and down her body. His tongue flicked out to moisten his lips. "In a minute. Something I gotta do first. Can't wait one more minute for it."

"For what?"

He strode up to her, the dog leash firmly in his left hand, and slung his right arm around her waist to pull her snug against his body. "For this."

At the instant his mouth covered hers, she stopped breathing. Her pulse raced. His lips explored hers tenderly at first, then pressed hard against her lips, stealing her breath and sending her pulse into overdrive. Her eyes drifted shut, her body softened against him. When he lapped at the seam of her mouth, she opened up to him without hesitation, relishing the sensation of his tongue rasping over hers.

She moaned, grasping his upper arms.

He plunged deeper, claiming her mouth as if he'd never relinquish the contact, swirling his tongue around hers, teasing the roof of her mouth. His hand wandered to her behind, cupping her in a possessive way that had her wriggling her hips against him.

The dog leash tumbled from her grasp.

Jamie pushed away from Gavin, lunging down to snag the leash. "Oh! I almost let Calli's baby get away from me."

"Nah," Gavin said. "Mandy wouldn't run off without Misty."

Her cheeks felt hot. Her whole body, in fact, felt hot — and achy in the most wonderful way.

Gavin's mouth slid into a sensual smile. "Why don't we try that again?"

"Um…" She struggled to catch her breath, but he lingered centimeters away from her, destroying any hope she might've had of regaining her composure. "We should get back to the house. Calli will be wondering if we've kidnapped her puppies."

They had returned to the house then, though Gavin held her hand all the while.

Later that day, a trip to a gift shop had left Aidan mildly annoyed because, according to him, she and Gavin had "flirted like teenagers and almost had a poke right there on the floor." He was exaggerating. Maybe she and Gavin had flirted, but that was all. Grinning and touching each other's hands did not equate to having sex on the floor of a tourist shop.

Besides, Aidan actually was having a poke at Gavin's sister on a nightly basis. He had no call to criticize Jamie's flirtations with Calli's brother.

That's when the unfortunate incident happened.

Calli and Aidan had taken off for a night at a motel to have "private" time. Though Jamie and Gavin could've done anything they wanted that night, they'd done nothing sexier than holding hands. Since their first kiss, they'd had little time alone to try that again. Jamie had wanted to try. Badly. She'd begun to wonder if Gavin didn't.

Until the morning after their night alone in Calli's house. He'd slept in the hunting shack, despite Jamie suggesting he could sleep in Calli's room. He'd made a strange face at the suggestion and said, "She and Aidan are — well, you know. In that room."

Having sex, he'd meant. It made him uncomfortable to think of his baby sister enjoying carnal relations with anyone, but especially with Aidan.

After breakfast, Jamie and Gavin sat down on the sofa to talk. The chatting lasted about two minutes. He'd leaned in close, his breaths ghosting over her lips, and said, "I think it's damn well time we tried that again."

She knew what he meant. Her skin tightened at the suggestion, and a tingling in her scalp spread down to her breasts.

"Aye," she said. "We should."

He scooted closer, stretching one arm across the sofa's back behind her. She angled sideways to face him, her knees bent and her belly quivering with excitement. Their one kiss had left her burning for more.

Gavin clasped her upper arm gently, urging her to lean in as he slanted toward her.

Their lips touched.

A spark — she swore to God it felt like a real spark — crackled on her mouth, shooting straight down her body through her breasts and down to her sex. A breath rushed out of her, and her lips opened. He parted his own lips to inhale as if drawing her breath into him, and he ghosted his mouth over hers, back and forth, his breaths a whisper on her skin. Her eyes drifted closed, anticipation a heady current arcing through her. His fingers tightened ever so slightly on her arm. She sagged toward him, and her hands contacted his chest, firm and warm beneath his shirt. Her fingers curled into his flesh when he flicked his tongue out to tease her top lip.

He sealed his mouth over hers.

She sighed against his lips, sliding one hand up to his neck, and higher, to his nape. He slipped his tongue between her lips to torment her with slow, gentle glides that had her moaning and mashing her breasts to his chest, thrusting her hand up into his hair to cradle the back of his head, even as his exploration of her mouth grew more heated, more passionate. She opened wider for him, and he ravished her with an abandon that stole her breath, her thoughts, her inhibitions.

The hand on her arm found her breast. He scraped his thumb over her nipple.

She gasped into his mouth, shocked by a jolt of raw pleasure.

The front door burst inward.

Jamie and Gavin jumped at the same time, their lips torn from each other. Jamie flung a hand up to her mouth, partly to hide her swollen lips, partly in shock at the thunderous expression on Aidan's face.

Never in her life had she seen easygoing Aidan so upset.

Gavin's look of phony innocence did not ease Aidan's anger.

Here in her bedroom in Rory's castle, Jamie touched her lips. They tingled from the memory of that day. Yes, Aidan had been angry, but he'd mostly been embarrassed to have caught his baby sister "sucking face" with Calli's brother. That's what Calli had called it when Aidan stormed into the house and she tried to calm him down. Jamie stifled a laugh when she remembered the events after Aidan and Calli walked in on her and Gavin. Aidan's not-so-righteous indignation had crumbled when Calli accidentally referred to her house as Aidan's home too.

Calli's flub had changed the tack of the conversation, steering it away from Jamie and Gavin and their make-out session on the sofa.

The interplay between Aidan and Calli had been entertaining, but also enlightening. Jamie learned a lot about man-woman relationships by watching her brothers interact with, and bollocks it up with, various women. Now that her brothers had found their fairy-tale loves with Calli, Erica, and Emery, Jamie tried to learn from how they interacted with their wives compared with how they'd treated them before they admitted they'd fallen head over heels for the Americans.

Lachlan had broken Erica's heart, but she forgave him because he finally shared his secrets with her, secrets he had never told anyone else. Even Jamie didn't know what drove Lachlan to fear love. She did know, because everyone had heard the story a dozen times or more, that Lachlan literally fell to his knees and begged Erica to take him back.

Aidan had told Calli he would win her heart, and he had, but Calli then broke his heart, terrified to trust anyone after being stuck in a marriage of convenience for so long. Aidan forgave her because she finally opened up to him and shared her fears.

Rory had seduced Emery into a marriage of convenience but refused to love her, then let her walk out on him rather than express his true feelings. Emery forgave him because he finally opened up to her about his past marriages, telling her things no one else had ever known or would ever know. He'd nearly stripped naked in the town square of Loch Fairbairn to show Emery he loved her enough to risk any sort of humiliation to win her back.

Jamie was starting to see a pattern here. Her brothers and their wives got together, for real and for good, by opening up about their pasts and their fears. She needed Gavin to do the same for her, and she needed to do the same for him. The idea of talking about her time with Trevor, of ripping open those old wounds, shot a spike of cold straight into her chest.

She couldn't ask Gavin to expose his deepest fears and secrets if she wouldn't do the same.

"Why are you frowning?"

Gavin's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she started. "What?"

Eyes half open and sleepy, he dragged his fingertip over her bottom lip. "You're frowning. Why?"

"Thinking about the road ahead."

He yawned noisily, blinked several times, and then pulled her up and onto his body, their faces aligned. One large hand settled on her buttock while the other fanned over her back. "It'll be a bumpy one, but we can get through it. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you."

She squirmed when his hand on her bottom kneaded her flesh. Flashing him a saucy grin, she said, "Would you strip naked in the town square in Loch Fairbairn?"

His mouth crimped with a half-repressed smirk. "The way I heard it, Rory didn't actually get down to the buff."

"Not the point."

"I know." He swirled his palm on her back. "I'd strip naked and streak through Inverness if that's what it takes. Hell, I'd even hug Rory and smack a wet one on his cheek."

Jamie laughed. "Rory would blow his top."

"Totally worth it, even if he skelps me."

"Skelp? I didn't teach you that word."

He pinched her behind, making her squeak. "I learned that one from Iain."

"Should I worry about you making friends with Iain? He's a notorious rogue."

"You called him a gentleman that night when you showed up to blow me."

Though her cheeks warmed at the memory of that night, she wasn't embarrassed. Remembering it made her want to try that again. Instead, she answered the question implicit in his statement. "Iain is a gentleman, mostly, but he has a checkered past."

"Seducing every woman in Loch Fairbairn? I've heard that rumor."

"Might be more than a rumor." She poked his side. "Don't get any ideas of following in his footsteps either."

"No way," Gavin said, hugging her to him, his hands on her shoulder blades, "I've got all the woman I can handle. And I've got an important question for you. What should we do today?"

Jamie tried to shrug but couldn't, what with her body crushed to his. "Donnae know."

"We're spending time together, for the next few weeks. Lots of time." He swept a hand up to her nape, easing her mouth closer to his. "We can do anything you want."

"Anything?" she breathed against his lips.

"Yes. Anything."

She pretended to consider the options, tapping her tongue on the bottoms of her top teeth. "Bicycling."

He pulled a face. "Biking? That gives men cancer of the balls, you know."

"No one knows that for sure. Besides, you can get a special seat to reduce the possible risk." She slid a hand down to his hip, inching it toward his groin, though her body blocked her from reaching the part of him she longed to fondle. "Do you think I'd let you endanger my favorite part of your anatomy?"

He grunted when she ground her body against his erection. "Ah… You win. Biking it is."

"Thank you, Gavin."

"Can't deny you anything when you're on top of me."

She pushed up so she sat astride him, hands on his chest. "Ahm needing to have mah way with ye."

"I did say we'd do anything you want today."

And they did — starting in bed.