Give & Take (Redbeard Cove #2)

41. Raphael

Chapter 41

Raphael

I t’s noon on her birthday by the time Lana comes down the stairs. Last night, we held each other for what felt like an hour. Then I carried her to my bed and we fell asleep entangled in each other’s limbs, whispering things I don’t know either of us could hear, but we both understood.

She woke up at dawn, kissed me so tenderly I asked her to do it again. Then headed back over to her place so she could see the girls first thing this morning.

“Mom!” the girls cry now, thundering toward her. They topple her backwards so she plops down on the third step, laughing, then crying as they shower her with Happy Birthday! and We love you so much!

They wave the cards they made her in her face, fighting over who gets to show her theirs first, while Lori and I watch from the kitchen and the recliner respectively. I’m the one leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen, wearing an apron and covered pretty much head to toe in frosting thanks to an unfortunate event with the mixer. Lori’s been napping in the recliner with a paperback. The Duke’s Pesky Pickle it’s called, and I know the author’s just having the time of her life at this point.

Both because of that title, and because I wrote to her via her agent a while ago, asking hypothetically if she’d ever consider coming to talk at a bookstore that focuses on spicy books and women’s sexual liberation, whatever that looks like to them. I assured her I wasn’t opening the bookstore, that actually, it would be a woman called Lana Bloor. That the bookstore wasn’t opened yet…or even technically a thing yet, so this was very, very hypothetical.

To my shock, she’d written back, and said, Hypothetically, that sounds pretty great.

Lana’s eyes are wet as she closes the second card. “This is already the best birthday ever.”

“You haven’t even seen the cake!” Aurora says. “It’s shaped like books!”

“Aurora!” Nova cries.

It was supposed to be a grand surprise. Nova’s so upset about this spoiler it takes Grandma half an hour to coax her back out of her room and another half an hour to get her to stop shooting daggers at her little sister, who’s likewise beside herself for her flub.

“It wouldn’t be a birthday without tears,” Lana says when I finally come out of the kitchen, exhausted and covered in sprinkles now too.

“I’m going to take a shower,” I say. My back is to the rest of them so I waggle my eyebrows.

She rolls her eyes, but smiles. And then she comes right up to me and gives me the softest, sweetest kiss of my life .

In front of her mother and children.

Lori knows about us, clearly, and well, the kids kind of do too by my admission. But this? This is new. This is out in the open.

This is what I’ve been waiting for.

“Ew!” Nova says. “That is so gross. Get a bathroom.”

Lana pulls away, pinching her lips together to try not to laugh.

“I think it’s just room, honey,” Lori says.

They’re still debating this when I kiss Lana again.

She loves the cake of course. How could she not? It’s a stack of books four high, each one a different color. We all got to title one of the books. Aurora called hers I LOVE MOMMY, because of course. Nova’s is THIS IS A BOOK THE BEST BOOK OF ALL THE BOOKS which was next to impossible to fit on the spine. Lori called hers simply MY GIRL, which honestly, I loved. Mine I called YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE, which Lori joked might be copyright infringement until I told her she wasn’t going to get her afternoon motorcycle ride.

After cake, the kids give Lana their presents: Aurora’s is a dress Aurora and I found at this very strange boutique in Swan River—it’s soft cotton; t-shirt material I think, and reaches the floor. But the best part about it is the teddy-bear with rainbows pattern. Some might call it tacky, but Aurora chose it, so I call it beautiful.

“Hey, I love Murder Teddy!” Nova says.

“I’m sorry, what?” Lana asks.

“Murder Teddy! It’s a YouTube show. The rainbow’s a knife, see?”

I hold the fabric out, examining it. It really is a giant scabbard; the hilt is hidden in the teddy bear’s paws. Then I set it down, grimacing. “She’s right.”

“When have you ever watched a YouTube show called—no, a YouTube show period?” Lana asks. “I know Raphael read the guidebook which clearly states?—”

“It wasn’t Raph!” Nova exclaims. At her mom’s raised eyebrows, Nova realizes her mistake in admitting she’s seen the show at all. “Oh. Well, I’ve just heard of the show. And maybe I’ve seen like…a few seconds. At somebody else’s house.”

“God help you when she’s old enough to get into real trouble,” Lori says, squeezing her granddaughter affectionately.

Nova’s present, which she shoves in Lana’s face to distract from her transgressions, is book sized and shaped. She didn’t want to get a gift with me, even after I asked her a few times, so this is a surprise for me too.

What Lana does pull out is a book, but it’s not just any book. It’s called THIS IS A BOOK THE BEST BOOK OF ALL THE BOOKS, by Nova Bloor.

“It’s real?” Aurora asks when we read the title.

“Of course it’s real. Aren’t yours?”

We shake our heads.

“You mean I wrote a whole book for nothing?” Nova asks.

“You didn’t do it for nothing,” I say. “You did it for your mom’s birthday.”

“I could have got her murder pants. ”

“Nova,” Lana says. “You wrote a whole book. That’s not just a gift for me. That’s a gift for you.”

“What do you mean?” Nova asks.

“I mean you showed yourself you could do a hard thing.”

“It wasn’t even hard,” Nova says.

Lana nearly chokes on her water.

“But do you mean doing hard things makes you feel good?”

“Yeah,” I say. “It does.”

“Even if that hard thing is to quit,” Lana says. I know she’s talking about her own book, which she told me yesterday she officially shelved—and felt nothing but relief for doing it.

“Or even if that hard thing is to do something completely different than you’re used to,” Lori says.

“Like what you did?” Aurora asks. “You had babies far away.”

Lori smiles like Aurora’s the cutest thing in the world. “Yes sweetheart. Close enough. Or… like your mom, who switched her job a few years ago to start this life in Redbeard Cove with you two.”

The girls catch on that this is a game now.

“Or like how I hired a nanny I knew would be the perfect fit for you two,” Lana says, “even though I had kissing feelings for him.”

“Excuse me,” I say, lowering my arm from where I’ve been holding onto Aurora. “You’re ready to admit you had kissing feelings for me from the beginning?”

“Not the very beginning,” Lana says, but her cheeks flush.

“We’ll have to dig into that later,” I say, giving Lana a pointed look and brushing my foot against hers under the table.

“There’s still more presents,” Aurora says, impatient.

“Right.” Lana pulls her Mom’s present toward her. A moment later, she’s holding a folded patchwork quilt—made from what looks like fifty different swatches of fabric and every color of the rainbow.

“Mom!” Lana says.

“I may not know my quilts,” I say, “But that is the nicest one I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah!” The girls say, pointing out patterns and characters in the fabric they recognize.

“I didn’t know you quilted?” Lana says to her mother, clearly touched.

“I don’t. This was made by me and all the women in the community I worked with over the past year. When I told them I’d be missing your birthday, everyone either contributed a scrap of fabric or helped with the stitching. Even the moms who—” She glances at the girls. “Well, the ones who really wanted to be moms—they’re there too. They’re the reason the program let me leave a week early, so I wouldn’t actually have to miss it in the end.”

Lori holds it up to reveal the pattern of multicolored scraps makes a heart shape against the dark background.

“Wow!” The girls ooh and ah.

I take the blanket from Lori and wrap it around Lana’s shoulders, feeling strangely emotional and making a note to call my own Mom tonight. And Deanie. And maybe we’ll pay a visit to Shelby, too.

Lana hugs her mother for a long time, both of them crying and saying things the rest of us don’t hear before we move on.

There’s a gift from Mike—a copy of The Joy Luck Club , which he concedes in a note may not be his cup of tea, but is about women, so ‘Lan, you should like it’.

“I guess it’s something,” Lori says.

“Hey, he got her a gift,” I say. “That is something.”

“He called me, too,” Lana says. “I’ve got a voicemail I haven’t returned that says he has some things he wants to talk about.”

Lori frowns, looking suspicious. “Like what?”

“He didn’t say,” Lana says. She looks at me, an eyebrow quirked. “I don’t know how to explain it, but it didn’t sound like he had an angle.”

I feel a tiny burst of pride. Way to fuckin’ go, Mike.

Lana’s looking at me curiously. I give her a smile but say nothing. I will later tonight. Maybe. Or maybe I’ll just let Mike step up ahead of our meeting. I feel like he just might.

“Okay now yours, Raph!” Aurora says, jumping up and down.

Lana’s still looking at me in a half squint. But Aurora tugs on my sleeve. “Come on , Raph!”

Aurora knows what my gift is. Nova does too. They’re part of it.

“Right now?” I ask the girls. “Are you ready?”

Nova jumps up, clapping her hands. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

I nod to Lori, who tells Lana to close her eyes as she follows us into the living room. While they get situated on the couch, I push the coffee table aside and Aurora dims the lights.

Nova turns on the TV and flips to the YouTube tab. She punches in “ Dirty Dancing” and clips from the movie pop up.

“Hey!” Lana says, alarmed, from the doorway.

“We’re not watching the movie!” Nova says. “Sheesh. And my friend showed me.”

“I’m the friend. And I didn’t really show you, you just picked it up like a computer hacker. We only use it for dance clips!” I promise Lana. “I know nothing about Murder Teddy.”

“I can’t watch that here with the ‘strictions anyway,” Nova says with audible disdain.

“Here?” Lana says.

“Mom, shh!” Aurora calls from by the stairs.

“Sorry.”

Nova hits play, then dims the brightness on the TV. The three of us stand in a row and hold our flashlights. Soon, the opening line of Time of my Life comes through the speakers.

And we’re off.

The dance is a mess of limbs and lights, and we all manage to bonk into each other several times. At one point, Aurora trips and her flashlight goes sprawling. I ask if she wants to pause and she pants, “No!” and jumps off the arm of the couch back into the middle of the fray without missing a beat.

By the time the moment comes, I have to call both their names several times to get their attention. “Now!” I cry. Aurora’s already running ahead of her mark. She barrels into me head first, not injuring me since her head hits my stomach, but I’m winded enough that I can only wheeze “try again!”

This time, the music has nearly finished but she still runs and jumps and I manage to get her over my head.

Lana and her mom cheer uproariously.

“We’re not done!” Nova and I say together.

At this point, the song is over, and the video has switched over to what I’m pretty sure is a monster truck rally ad.

“Smash smash, smaaaaash!” The announcer yells as Nova runs for me.

This time, we may be out of sync with the music, but not with each other. I get Nova up in the air perfectly, just in time for the announcer to shout, “We’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edddddddddge!”

Even Nova whoops from above this time, and when I let her down, she gives me a giant high-ten. “I think she liked it,” she tells me.

“I think so,” I say, glancing over at her mom, who’s laughing so hard she’s crying as Aurora jumps up and belly flops across hers and her mom’s laps.

Nova taps me on the shoulder then. I bend down so I can hear her over the ruckus. “I think she loves you.”

I pull back, grinning. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” she says. “And Ror and me love you too.”

Then she’s gone, dancing like a strange interpretive dancing mime, while I stand there stunned, my heart squeezing so fucking hard it hurts.

Later that night, after a public reading by Nova of her book, which is actually hilarious and quite possibly the BEST BOOK OF ALL THE BOOKS, Lori tells us to go out and have some alone time. She and the girls settle down to watch a movie, winking at me.

We walk downtown, holding hands, talking about logistical things like they’re nothing. About how Cal’s getting a new truck and has offered to sell me his for a song. And how I also saw an apartment for rent in town I’m going to call tomorrow.

“I don’t want you to feel any pressure,” I tell Lana when she insists I can stay in the suite.

“You can’t move out!” Lana says.

This leads me to confessing that Lori also talked to me after our motorcycle ride this afternoon, where I returned Cal’s bike to his place. “She’s thinking of moving up here, Lana.”

“She’s been talking about that for years,” she says.

“It sounds like she really means it. She had a meeting with her realtor about selling her condo in Vancouver.”

Lana raises her eyebrows. “Really? Also, are you two best friends now?”

“Pretty much.”

Lana smiles. “Then we’ll figure something out.”

I sigh. “You’re going to be sick of me anyway, since we’ll be partners when you start up the bookshop.”

“Not boss? I thought you wanted to be the Operations Manager.”

“I’m easy,” I say. She knows I mean it. I have no designs on her business. I just want to support her however I need. “Actually, I like your idea. Then I’ll be fucking the boss again.”

Lana laughs.

I know all of this will require several more conversations. But that’s fine. We have all the time in the world.

But just then, Lana goes stiff beside me.

“You okay?”

I follow her gaze down the block, at the couple coming out of the Bean Scene.

Even this far away I recognize the man as Daniel.

I also recognize the woman who rubs his head affectionately—almost like a daughter might to her father.

It’s Jenna.

“Oh, shit,” I say, realization dawning. Daniel is Jenna’s father. Lana and I— “Fuck, Lana, come on. We can cross the street before they see us.”

I’m fully expecting Lana to panic. She’s outed our relationship to her mom and daughters, sure, and we’ve been walking down Main Street holding hands. But this? A pair that painfully reminds her just how far apart we are in age?

But Lana shakes her head, lifting her chin. She smiles at me. “No. It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. We’re all adults, right?”

I smile. “Yes, Sunshine. That we are.”

The conversation isn’t too awkward. Okay, it’s a little awkward. But mostly for them. As we make our introductions, Jenna quickly learns who that other person was I talked about on our non-date. And Daniel and I pretend I didn’t nearly scare him into tumbling down the stairs that time.

When Lana turns to Daniel, I hold my breath.

“How’s the clinic?” she asks.

“Oh, God, Dad,” Jenna says.

Daniel turns a little pink. “Jenna says I talk about it too much.”

“You do,” Lana says. It’s not biting. She says it with a smile. And it makes Jenna laugh. “But it’s good to be really into something,” Lana says, looking up at me then, and I swear she almost gives me a wink.

This Lana—she’s new, and she might be my favorite one yet. She’s confident. Sure of herself. Teasing Daniel to put him in his place without being mean. Even though I think he still deserves some meanness.

“Well, it was nice seeing you,” Lana says, smiling broadly. I can tell it’s not fake—not the words, and not the smile.

There’s a pause for a moment, then Jenna says, “You guys look really happy.” And it sounds like she means it. She gives us both a genuine smile before we part ways.

“You choose really nice girlfriends,” Lana says once they’re gone.

“You call yourself nice?” I say. “That’s cute.”

She shoves me as we go into the shop together.

Dolly looks delighted to see us. She squeals when she sees us holding hands, demanding to know if this means I’m sticking around. “We miss you around here tapping away at that computer.”

“This was kind of my second home for a few weeks there,” I say .

I tell her I’m staying. “There’s a sessional English instructor job they just posted on an urgent basis at the college in Swan River.”

Lana’s the one who found that posting. It felt like kismet.

“Well then, we need to celebrate,” Dolly says.

“Actually, it’s also Lana’s birthday,” I whisper.

Lana shoots me a glare. She thought she was getting out of public recognition. But she smiles at Dolly. “It’s not a monumental year or anything.”

“Nonsense. Every birthday is monumental.” Dolly peers around the shop. There are only a few people playing board games in the back. “Here,” she says, pulling a small bottle of whiskey out from underneath the counter. “We’ll make these coffees fancy.”

Before we can argue, she pours a tipple into each of the drinks she just made us.

Just in time for Miles to come out from the back and bear witness. “Dolly!” he snaps. “What the hell!”

“Oh hush,” she says, planting a hand on her hip and tossing a sip of whiskey down her throat, defying him to argue.

“We could lose our license!”

“Which one? The stick-up-our-asses license? I lost that years ago, honey. I think a court of law is about the only thing that could get you to lose yours, anyway.”

Miles looks like he’s going to lose it. Even so, he turns to Lana. “Happy birthday.” Then he returns his glare to Dolly. “I’m serious, Dolly. It’s this kind of thing?—”

I pick up our drinks and point my head out to the patio. “One day those two are going to have to get in a wrestling match to duke out whatever that is,” Lana says as we settle into the cool iron seats.

“Or hear me out—maybe a bed?” I say.

Lana gapes. “No way. They legitimately hate each other. I’ve seen tears!”

“I believe you. I just have a feeling.”

“Just like you had a feeling about me when you ogled my ass?”

“Yep.” I sip my coffee, my eyes going swirly at how big a pull she put in there. “Damn.”

Lana shakes her head, but she’s smiling. “Unbelievable.”

“In fact,” I say, “could you put that coffee down a minute?”

She frowns. “Why?”

“I just want to try something.”

She sets the coffee down.

I pick her up, spinning her sideways and sitting her on my lap with a plop. Then I let out a long sigh. “Yep.”

“Yep what?” she says, looking around nervously like someone might be watching. Then, seeming not to care.

“This is what I wanted to do that day at the bar. When you hired me for the summer.” I lean in so I’m whispering in her ear. “All I could think about was what that beautiful ass would feel like pressed up against me.”

“Oh God,” she says as I tilt my hips just a little.

“And whether you were going to fire me,” I admit.

She laughs under her breath and leans back against me. Then she sits up abruptly, shifting on my lap. “What’s that in your pocket?”

“Good one,” I say, waggling my brows .

She laughs.

But she looks down, squinting at the outline in my pants. It’s square, with a right angled corner.

Her eyes dart to mine. I reach into my pants, pulling out a small velvet box.

Lana’s eyes go wide. “You’re not just happy to see me,” she croaks.

Now it’s my turn to laugh.

“I am, but this is a jewelry box.”

“With my name on it.”

There is, in fact, a piece of tape with her name on it on the top. “Yes.”

“Raph—”

“Just open it, okay? Don’t worry, it’s just a birthday present.”

“You already did a dance for me. And bought me that box set of special edition duke books.”

“And gave you my resignation letter.”

“That too.”

She hesitates, then opens the box. Inside is a necklace—it’s a gold Hawthorn leaf necklace. Smaller and more delicate than mine. But matching just the same.

“Raphael LaForest,” she whispers as she pulls it out.

I put it on her neck, fumbling a little with the clasp. I’m nervous, but she doesn’t need to know it. “It’s so you don’t forget to keep your heart open,” I whisper. “Not just for me. But for life.”

She nods, and I feel a hot tear splash on my hand as I straighten the necklace out in front.

Lana kisses me, then moves to her own chair again. Then she kisses me again. “Thank you, Raph. I love it. ”

“And I love you.”

She sets the box on the table, but I put the lid on and hand it back to her. “You should keep this,” I say.

“Why? There’s no way I’m taking this off.”

“Just hang onto it. Put it somewhere safe.”

Lana tilts her head. Then she shakes the box. There’s a little rattle, slightly muffled. Her eyes go wide.

“Don’t open it yet,” I say. “Hold onto it for however long you like. Just know I’m ready the moment you are.”

“For what?” she asks through glassy eyes.

“You know what, Sunshine.”

“Tell me anyway.”

I lean forward, hand on her jaw. “I’m ready whenever you are, to be together for the rest of our lives.”