Grissom (In the Company of Snipers #26)

Chapter Thirty-Four

Three Days Later…

Grissom sat watching the woman he adored love on his boys. There sat Tuesday on his couch, Tanner in one arm and Luke tucked protectively under her other. She’d recovered quickly from her escapade with Moreno. After surgery to repair the graze burn just above her hip, she’d spent a day and night at George Washington University Hospital. The next afternoon, Alex had his medical team: Nurse Judy Mortimer, Dr. Libby Houston and Dr. McKenna Fitzgerald-Villanueva, aka Doc Fitz, travel west with Tuesday on his private helicopter to Grissom’s place.

And now, it was time for Grissom to face the truth. Not once before or during these past hectic days had Tuesday said she loved him. As hard as it was to swallow, he knew she might never love him as much as he loved her. Why should she? Tuesday was as shattered as he’d been. Him, by the parents he still had; her, by the parents she’d loved and lost. That kind of pain went deep. It didn’t just fade away. They were matching bookends with a million unfinished chapters stuffed between them. They were the perpetual yin and yang of life. Too much baggage kept them apart. They might not have enough reasons to meet in the middle.

As brave as she was, Tuesday didn’t seem to want to stay, to give him a chance. To wrap her toes over the edge of her own cliff of despair and take the leap he wanted to take with her. Grissom wasn’t sure marriage was the best answer for them anymore. He loved Tuesday with every beat of his heart, that much he knew with certainty. But sometimes, most of the time in his case, a guy didn’t get what he wanted. Didn’t mean Grissom would give up. Just because Tuesday didn’t love him today, didn’t mean she wouldn’t someday.

She’d certainly jumped straight into the fires of motherhood when she’d literally fought Pam and her now-dead accomplice to save Grissom’s sons. Without question or hesitation, with a butt load of passion and—love.

It was hard not being included within the circle of her love. He was the problem, the idiot who’d unintentionally pushed her away the day he’d run to save his sons from their mother. In doing so, he’d saved them, absolutely. But he’d unintentionally left Tuesday out. The story of her entire adult life. Awkward and forgotten. Alone. Overlooked. Never able to heal from losing her parents. That loss compounded when Maeve Astor killed her benefactor, Freddie.

Grissom’s reaction on Christmas Day had been instinctive and spontaneous, shaped by a father’s fear for his children. He hadn’t meant to hurt Tuesday by choosing his boys over her. Had never intended her to feel unwanted. But mean it or not, Grissom had left Tuesday out of his family circle and it had crushed her. That was why she’d taken off. She’d been saving herself.

It was natural Tanner would run to his dad, not to her. Tanner’d been running to Grissom all his life. What kid wouldn’t run to his old man for safety and security, especially after the ugly encounter with Tanner’s witch of a mother?

But that simple gut reaction had reinforced the lie Tuesday still believed today. That she was unwanted. An interloper. An outsider. The woman no one saw because she didn’t matter enough to anyone. Because no one cared. Somewhere deep in her psyche, she’d decided she was the reason her parents and Frederick Lamb had died; that it was their love for her that caused their deaths. That she’d killed them…

Grissom wished he could go back in time and redo that day. He wished he’d circled her in his arms along with Luke and Tanner. That he’d cried with her while together they held what Grissom considered to be their boys. Tuesday surely cared for them, as if she’d always been their mother. But time didn’t work that way, and a man had to face facts. Tuesday was going to leave.

Not. Happening. Today Grissom planned to rescue her for a change.

Tanner and Luke had decided to sleep in front of the fireplace tonight. Which meant, at least in Luke’s world, that Tanner was supposed to wait on his little brother because Luke kept insisting, “I’m still sick.” Which he wasn’t. The little guy had rebounded quick enough after having his stomach pumped. But Tanner was the empathetic nurturer, the perpetual big brother, and he seemed to enjoy running errands for his baby brother.

Grissom suspected Tanner noticed how Luke clung to him since he’d come home. He might be a three-year-old tyrant, but Luke had changed into a benevolent tyrant. Maybe because he knew how much his big brother loved him. And how big a liar his mother was.

“Why’d you leave me Christmas Day?” Grissom asked quietly, so the boys wouldn’t hear.

She’d suffered a minor case of hypothermia the day everything went to hell. The scorching burn left by the round Pam fired had carved a three-inch trail on Tuesday’s left side above her hip. As if her being ‘only grazed’ calmed Grissom’s need to kill the witch he never should’ve married.

He couldn’t even call Pamela his ex-wife. They were still legally married. Not that he wouldn’t marry her evil ass all over again. Their union had brought Tanner and Luke into his life. Too bad that marriage decree hung over Grissom like the blade of the guillotine now. A death sentence, that was Pam. Her dying in that plane alongside Estes would’ve been the best solution to the problems facing Grissom now.

How was it possible for a murderer to get legal custody of his sons? Seriously? Grissom wasn’t sure, but the lawyer representing Pam had already served him with divorce papers that declared she wanted full custody. Damn, damn, damn her. He dreaded the day he’d be ordered to hand his boys over, couldn’t conceive of ever—ever—leaving them with her.

Was there a judge in the state dumb enough to allow it? Couldn’t the state understand that Pam would kill Tanner the first chance she got? Even sitting with Tuesday like he was, Grissom planned how and when to leave the country before that day arrived. To hell with divorce court and its tangled web of convoluted laws. Tanner and Luke mattered more than any damned law.

Tuesday cleared her throat, bringing Grissom back to his family room.

“I’m not sure why I left,” she murmured, her gaze on her clasped hands in her lap. “In the heat of everything that happened that day, it seemed like… I don’t know” —she shrugged— “I was the problem. I was in your way. You were focused on getting to Luke, and if you’d lost him, if she’d killed him because of me, I’d never forgive myself. You adore your sons and, honestly” —she was studying her fingernails, as if she’d never seen them before— “I’m cursed, Grissom. I’m a jinx. Everyone I’ve ever loved ended up dead, and I—”

“No.” His hand came up fast, a spring-loaded STOP sign in her face. “You’re not cursed, love, and you’re not a jinx. If anything, you’re my lucky star, just like the star on that locket Tanner gave you. None of what happened is your fault. You’d never hurt my boys, and you didn’t poison Luke. That’s on Pam, and you know it. As far as your parents and Mr. Lamb” —Grissom couldn’t bring himself to call that old man her husband — “bad things happen, and sometimes lightning strikes the same person twice. You know I love you, and the boys adore you. How can you not see that?”

She licked her bottom lip, and Grissom’s eyes automatically tracked the pink tip of her tongue. Wondering how she still didn’t understand what that tiny, insignificant act did to him. Until he remembered. Until he saw past the mask Tuesday had learned to show the world. Until he saw the worried little girl who’d been fighting that vicious world for far too long, behind the polished lie of what everyone else saw: a well-educated, sophisticated, beautiful woman. For all of her adult life, Tuesday had pretended to be something she wasn’t: Loved.

The silly woman. If she still had no idea how much Grissom loved her, then he hadn’t shown her yet, not in the way she needed to believe. In so many ways he had. He’d certainly said the right words. He’d told her. But Tuesday was still so much an inexperienced teenager, not yet a woman. Old enough, yes, but so much had happened in their short time together, they hadn’t had time to truly get to know each other. Not as man and wife. Not even as best friends. His brain had just revealed the true Tuesday Smart to him. Grissom needed her brain to take that same leap of faith and see the real him, to fall in love with him.

Without another word in his defense, Grissom slipped a hand around her waist and pulled her onto his lap, within the circle of his thick, man-sized arms, along with her blanket and heating pad. Once Tuesday settled against him, he buried his face in her neck and asked, “May I date you, Miss Tuesday? Would you go out with me, maybe catch a movie, when you’re up for it? Asking questions about each other won’t ease your mind, but being with me and the boys” —he cleared his throat— “I mean, our boys , for more than a couple hectic hours or days, will.”

Her head tipped softly against his shoulder. “ Our boys?” she asked without looking up at him.

“Yes, love. Our boys . Do Luke and Tanner look the least bit worried that their egg-donor isn’t here? Do you know who they prayed for while you were in the hospital? I mean after we prayed for Luke’s trucks, which, by the way, all have names. Sure wasn’t What’s-Her-Name.”

That brought a tiny uplift to the corners of Tuesday’s mouth. “Did you know he named the fire engine Kelsey gave him Spot?”

Grissom tipped his face to the ceiling and laughed. “I didn’t, but Spot sounds like a name he’d come up with.”

“You think we should explain it’d be a better name for a Dalmatian that rides with his imaginary firemen?”

“Does that mean we’re getting a Dalmatian?” At this point, Grissom would buy anything for his boys if it made Tuesday happy.

Still not looking at him, she asked, “We’ll take them with us? Our boys. On our date?”

“Well, yeah.” Grissom hadn’t considered not taking Tanner and Luke. Leave them with a sitter? Oh, hell, no.

“Then yes, I’ll go on a date with you. Tell me when.”

“As soon as you and Luke are both able, and we’ll go anywhere you’d like. Think about it.”

“Cakes and Honey. I’d like to go back to Cakes and Honey.”

Which was oddly the same place Grissom was thinking. Cakes and Honey was where they’d first sat across from each other, like a mother and father with two sons. Like they’d all belonged together. “Good choice. The boys love eating there.”

“So do I.” He could feel Tuesday’s body relax and melt farther into his body. She was happy. But was she happy enough to stay?

She cleared her throat. “Was Tanner there that day? In the parking garage? In the ambulance?”

“No, love, but I heard you talking to him.”

“He told me he and Luke were going to take especially good care of me, and then you were there, yelling at someone. Eric, I think.”

Grissom placed a warm kiss behind her ear. “You told him to take care of me and Luke, that you’d miss us, but you couldn’t stay. Why not?”

She breathed, “Hmmm.” Just, “Hmmm.” No denial. No change of plans. She was still leaving.

Grissom buried his face in her hair. “Don’t go, Tuesday. Give me a chance. Give us a chance, you and me.”

Her hands curled over his protective arms. Still no commitment. Still no “I love you.”

As hard as it was, Grissom accepted her answer, but he also knew better. Tuesday hadn’t declared her love for him because she didn’t know how to let go of her past and fall into love. She’d only lived with her parents and Frederick Lamb, which were essentially caretakers. Tuesday was wary of getting hurt again, of causing more death. Who could blame her? He, of all people, knew what a misstep relationships could be. Which was why he was taking it slow and only dating Tuesday, not proposing marriage.

“What was in the hand-delivered letter that came earlier? Must’ve been important. Was the guy who delivered it Pam’s lawyer?”

“Yes-s-s-s,” Grissom hissed. “She’s suing me for divorce, and she wants full custody.”

“She can’t do that.”

“Legally, she’s still their mother.” Grissom kept his voice low.

“But…” Tuesday sucked in a long, slow breath. “I might be able to help you fight her. I mean… Umm, there’s something you need to know, Grissom. Please don’t be mad.”

He pressed his lips to her cheek and breathed, “There’s nothing you could ever do to make me angry.”

“I’m… Grissom, I’m” —she coughed into her fist— “I’ve got… I mean, I’m… I’m rich. I’ve got money. Lots of it. I could get you the best lawyers in New York City. You wouldn’t have to worry. She’d never get Tanner or Luke. She’s unfit and she’s evil. No judge in his right mind would grant her anything, but just in case—”

He was stuck on, “You’re rich?”

Tuesday finally looked up and straight into his eyes. “Actually, I’m insanely wealthy,” she whispered. “Stocks, bonds, time-shares, off-shore accounts, real estate, you name it, I’ve got it. Freddie left everything to me, including an accountant and a very smart financial manager. I divested some of his property after he died, and I gave his businesses to his sons. But yeah.” Her shoulders lifted. “I’m one of those rich bitches you see on TV, the ones who never work unless they’re making headlines. I could—”

“But you do work for a living. You’re one of the world’s best nature photographers,” he interrupted, like the dolt his mother’d always said he was. Damned if she wasn’t right after all. Not once in the past few days had Grissom connected the dots between Tuesday and the billionaire she’d married. He’d known Lamb was a rich son of a bitch before he’d died, but Tuesday?

Of course she was rich. She was Lamb’s widow, and Grissom was poorer than shit, and… Damned if a nasty spike of hairy male ego didn’t stand up and shake a gnarly finger at him, urging him to dump her. To push off and slink away like the cur he was. Tuesday Smart was a pedigreed AKC winner, a champion with pure bloodlines. He was a stray, “Lady and the Tramp” different from her . He was uncollared and unleashed; mangy and uncouth. She was rich damned royalty, could probably hire a hitman if she wanted to, and then pay off a ton of lawyers to make sure she was never accused.

Hmmm. There was an idea worth entertaining. Not.

Grissom’s belly expanded as much with awareness as with disbelief. The problem Tuesday thought she’d just unloaded on him was obvious. She wasn’t happy and being wealthy hadn’t ensured power or influence because those things had never been important to her. What did any of Lamb’s wealth mean? Nothing, in Grissom’s estimation. He’d never been nor would be rich. But he did know what true happiness was: Tuesday and his boys. End of story. Even if he lost the seemingly perfect house he still owed a mortgage from hell on, he’d still have Tanner and Luke, and they’d make do. The three of them would get by, and Tuesday would make four if she stayed. Grissom had started from scratch before; he could do it again. The bottom line was they’d be okay because they’d be together.

So what if she was one of the top one-percenters in the country? The dollars in all those bank accounts she’d mentioned hadn’t made her happy, had they? All a smart man had to do was look at her to see she had low self-esteem. Determination, sure. She had that in spades, but the only time he’d seen her genuinely happy was when she’d been with his boys. Or when he kissed her. He was certain he’d made her happy then.

She wasn’t snobbish or unkind. Tuesday had more class in her pinkie than all the rich bitches in Hollywood lumped together. What did her being wealthy and him being a poor dumb jock matter?

Grissom put a finger under her chin and tilted her head so he could look into her soul. And there she was— my girl . The woman strong enough to put Maeve Astor in the ground. Fierce enough to stand up to Estes. Brave enough to knock the ever-loving shit out of Pam, despite damned near bleeding to death afterward. Just as brave when she’d nailed Moreno full in his smart assed face with the back of her skull. Yet still so fragile, Grissom wanted to wrap her in bubble wrap and update his damned security system.

“Do you think I’m a snob?” he asked, still keeping his voice low and this conversation private.

Since Tuesday’d come home, his brain had settled down. Panic didn’t rule him, and it hadn’t snuck up on him once. His boys were happier with her in his house. So was he. For the first time in his life, Grissom had a woman whose touch soothed his soul instead of damned it. He wasn’t letting her go just because some billionaire had saddled her with cash and maybe debt, too.

Hmmm… He’d have to look into that. Later. Not. Now.

“No, but…” There went her shoulders again. “Money complicates everything.” An ocean of weariness painted her words.

“If we let it.”

“Do you think…?” Her pink tongue darted over that succulent bottom lip again. She looked over his shoulder at his sons. “I just wanted you to see me for the real person I am, not because I was rich or because I had Freddie’s money. I wanted you to fall in love with me, Grissom. Just me.”

“I did. And I do see you. You’re my girl, and I love you,” Grissom acknowledged quickly. “You’re the first and only woman I’ve ever said that to.” His chest heaved with the burning question he couldn’t and shouldn’t spring on her today. Maybe after a few dates. He’d already declared his love. Blame that on his lack of impulse control, but jumping the gun and asking her to marry him like Dr. Pratt had advised? Would that break the fragile trust between them, or would she jump at the chance? Was he what she needed?

“I could pay for lawyers to fight Pam,” Tuesday offered again. “Once you’re finally divorced, we could, umm…”

Grissom’s heart caught in his throat. Was she going to propose? He hoped.

Instead, the doorbell rang and, of course, Luke jumped up from his ‘deathbed’ and raced Tanner to the door. Damned if that little guy didn’t key in the security code, jerk the front door wide open, and yell, “Come in, guys! Daddy! It’s Uncle Alex and Aunt Kelsey, and they bringed Lexie and Baby Bradley!”

“I suspected he let Pam in that day,” Tuesday breathed.

“Luke!” Grissom said sternly. “What’s the rule?”

Luke turned to his dad, his blue eyes wide and his face ashen. “Ahh. Err. I forgot. And my tummy aches, Daddy.”

The little fibber. While Alex and his family walked into the front room, Grissom shifted Tuesday off his lap and pointed to the empty spot on the couch beside him. “Come here, son.”

Luke walked to his father, his bottom lip stuck out far enough seagulls could’ve perched on it. “My tummy really hurts, Daddy. Ouch. Owie. Honest. I’m dying here.”

Kelsey chuckled at that very adult remark from Grissom’s three-year-old con artist. It was funny, but Luke needed to follow rules. With a big breath, he told the Stewarts, “Excuse us, for a minute or two. My son and I need to talk.” With that settled, he took Luke by the hand and together they headed down the hall for a father and son reunion.

I knew I should’ve changed that code .