Grumpy Doctor’s Holiday Twins (Forbidden Doctors #17)

6. Ethan

6

ETHAN

I stalked toward my car in the parking garage with my collar turned up wishing I'd have worn a warmer hat. The air hurt my face with its nasty winter bite, and I was reminded how this time of year the past few years, I'd chosen to migrate to warmer climates to avoid even remembering life in Mistletoe Springs this time of year, when winter weather started weeks before the solstice and stretched well into meteorological spring.

From a distance, I used my remote start to get my car warmed up. Dad would have lectured me about a man of my stature driving myself, but I had no use for a driver to shuttle me around and try to get chatty with me. It was easier to commute from my hotel room to the hospital and back. I didn't even go home, though it was still there and cared for by a professional property manager. Just walking into the place gave me too many sour emotions, mostly because all of my happiest memories were there.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to see my brother's name on the caller ID. Luke rarely called me, but only because he didn't have international calling and I was always abroad. We weren’t really close enough for him to even care about upping his cell phone plan to include me, and if people didn't have time for me, I didn't make time for them. Another effect of being ghosted by someone I deeply cared for.

I pulled the phone out and swiped to answer at the same time I opened the door to my car and sat down. The phone automatically paired to the Bluetooth and played over my car's stereo as I settled in and buckled up.

"Hey, Luke, what's up?" I figured Mom had called him and put him up to this. He was her little pet who did whatever she told him to. He'd been a snitch since he was old enough to talk. Being the baby, he got spoiled for it too, which often made him the butt of my jokes with Rick.

"Hey, Ethan, Mom said you're in town for the holidays this year?" His statement was phrased as a question though it was clearly a statement, so I ignored the "question" part of it and waited for him to continue as I backed out of the parking spot.

After the frustrating conversation with Melody, I just wanted to put space between myself and this hospital. I was finding that even coming to work was a challenge now. Memories were everywhere, and I was having a hard time distancing myself from emotions that distracted me. It was a whirlwind of frustration and affection fighting inside me, and I had to keep focused.

"Anyway, so you remember that abnormal psychology book you had in college? The one with the picture of a human brain on the cover."

"Yeah, why?" I pulled the car out of the garage into traffic and turned toward the north side of town and the hotel. Snow had stopped falling, but the roads were lightly covered, making them slippery.

"Well, I was hoping I could borrow it. I have a friend who is majoring in brain disorders and I think it might help him. Do you still have it?" The request wasn't completely off the wall. Luke had asked for similar favors before, though I never saw any of my old textbooks again. But it wasn't like I was using them. They were in boxes in the back of my closet buried for a long time, and I hadn't set foot in my house in more than eighteen months.

"Uh, I probably have it somewhere, but I'm not going home." My tone was gruff, though I didn't mean for it to be. The less people knew about what I was thinking and feeling, the better. This town was full of busybody gossips who would spread rumors like wildfire in a drought. I'd rather not have the entire town talking about my bad moods.

"I mean, but you can, right?" he asked, sounding annoyed. "And why not stay at home? You do this every time you come home to Mistletoe, stay in a hotel. You have a perfectly good bed and it's free, yet you waste money."

The resemblance to my mother's voice and lectures was uncanny. He really was a momma's boy, and it frustrated me. One mother was enough.

"Yeah, fine." I sighed hard and slowed to turn down a side street. I had to go the opposite direction to get to my house, and it would take twice as long, but it was better than answering his nosy questions.

"Good, I'll be at Mom's for Thanksgiving, okay?" His gratitude sounded more like commands than thanks, but he was family.

"Yeah, see you then." I pressed the End Call button on my steering wheel and debated turning back around again. If he wasn't going to get the book until Thursday next week, I had time. But I was already in the car headed out, and I had nothing else to do this evening. So ten minutes later, I found myself pulling into the driveway.

Snow had piled up on the drive and the walks. The lights inside were off, but the exterior glowed softly thanks to a few lights pointed up on the house from the landscaping below. I walked through the door and stomped my feet and noticed how nothing had been touched. It looked exactly as I left it, including a very badly decorated fake tree near the fireplace.

The manager had the thermostat set to sixty, the bare minimum to keep all the pipes in the house warm enough that during colder snaps they wouldn't freeze. I dropped my car keys by the door and went straight to the stairs. I didn't want to be here any longer than I had to be. I just wanted to get the book and get out.

The last time I was in this house was the night Melody left town. We'd had an argument about telling her brother about our fling and making it a real relationship a few days before that, and we hadn't spoken. John called me that night and broke down crying, telling me how Melody had whisked their parents away to get her mother into a drug trial. He was tasked with all the loose ends of selling their house and moving Mel's things into storage.

I was left gutted and waiting for a call that never came.

The place was dark, but I had lived here for almost a decade. I navigated the hall without light, but when it came to the bedroom and my search for the old textbook, I needed the lights. I flicked them on and shed my coat, draping it at the foot of the bed. A few of my dresser drawers hung empty, evidence of my rushed exit from Mistletoe Springs when I got the call that DWB wanted me. I stuffed as much into two suitcases as I could and left.

The closet was dusty and almost bare except for the things I stored. My clothing had been shipped to me later on by the property manager I hired via online methods. Dad vetted them for me, and I never felt the need to come back except for once a year, and then I only just made sure the place was still standing.

I reached for a box on the shelf and lifted it down. The top was coated in a thick layer of dust which I blew away. I had scrawled Records on it, so I knew it didn't contain any books. I set it to the side and reached for another one. This one, a smaller blue shoebox, had nothing written on it, and when I went to open the lid, it slipped from my hand, spilling on the ground at my feet.

"Christ's sake," I grumbled, stooping to pick things up, and I noticed a picture lying among the mess. It was something that should never have been printed, an image of Melody wearing a sexy negligee for me, draped across her bed with a rose pinched between her teeth.

She'd done a boudoir set to be naughty for me in October that year for my birthday. I had just turned thirty and I mentioned to her that I wasn't happy with how old I was. She wanted to make sure I felt special, like I "still had it". And she hired a photographer to capture almost-nude images of herself in suggestive poses to get me worked up and show me that a woman as hot and youthful as her could still want me. Shallow, perhaps, but it had lit my heart on fire and that was the turning point for me.

We had been messing around for six months with the strict understanding that it was only sex and John could never know. In September, she started to confess her feelings, that she was in love with me and wanted more. It tugged at my heart because I felt it too, but there was just no way it would ever work. I wanted a strong family unit, and that meant her family had to accept me fully. John would never accept that I was pegging his younger sister.

I stared at the photo, crouched over the pile of love letters she wrote me, cards she sent, and even a pair of her panties which she left in my car the first night we had sex. This box of memories used to be my shrine to how amazing she was, but I hadn't opened it since she left and even now, it caused a cataclysm in my heart.

The perfect curves of her body, the way her smile was only for me. The way her nipples poked through the thin fabric of the negligee and announced their presence. I found myself getting hard looking at the picture, which gave me conflicting emotions. When I got aroused like this, I often turned to a quick porn clip to manage the physical need I had, but never had my emotions engaged with those things. It was simply a mechanical response like blowing my nose or relieving my bladder.

But this, the look in Melody's eyes as she stared into the camera, did something in my heart. My cock was rock hard and I couldn't stop myself. My hand brushed against the outside of my slacks and made my dick twitch. She was bewitching, even years later after breaking my heart, and I was a fool for still caring about her, for still wanting her. But I couldn't deny the hunger I felt looking at the image or the way I wanted her to stay in my office today and fight it out. We could have screamed at each other for an hour and hashed out all the old feelings, and the air would be clear and maybe I would be with her in this bedroom instead of alone with a picture.

I stood and carried the image, plus a few more from the same photo shoot, and I sat on the edge of my bed and unzipped my pants. My dick bulged through my boxers, which I pulled down and tucked under my balls so I could stroke. With Melody's picture on the mattress beside me, I started touching and playing.

I pictured her here with me, the look of lust in her eyes as she watched me pleasure myself. I imagined her words, how she'd have been a dirty girl for me, encouraging me to come on her tits and she'd let me rub it in. I moaned as my hand moved faster, images of our nights together flooding my mind's eye. I saw her naked, legs spread on the bed, fingers deep inside herself, begging me to take her and never stop.

"Oh, Mel," I groaned as I sped up my movements. The wet sound of my cock sliding against my hand was the only sound in the room as I neared release. My mind’s eye went to her fingers, how she used to play with her clit while I took her from behind, how her body would clench around my shaft, sending me over the edge every time. I squeezed harder and imagined it was her thick, wet muscles gripping me.

The sensations and memories collided in my mind and body, and I felt my balls drawing up. I forced my eyes open to look at one of the images, a picture of her nude, on her back, with a thin sheet draped across her tits and her legs crossed to hide her soft lips from view. "Melody," I gasped as I came, the palm of my hand covering the end of my throbbing dick. A stream of hot white cum shot into my hand, and I bit my bottom lip as the wave passed, then sat there, panting for a moment, before I closed my eyes and fought back the wave of self-loathing.

Getting off to a picture of her wasn’t the best move, but here I was, covered in my seed. "Damn you, Melody," I muttered, leaving the pictures on the bed and heading to the bathroom to clean up. I had barely washed my hands and put my dick away when I heard the bell ring. It was confusing to me because my parents believed I was staying at a hotel, and the only other people who knew I was in town were John and Melody.

I crept down the stairs in the dark, praying it wasn't her here to finally confront me, and noticed a large SUV in the driveway through the picture window.

John was here, and I didn't know why. I hadn’t told him I wasn't staying here, so he probably assumed I was. Naturally, he would, of course. Luke was right. What sort of idiot pays for a hotel when they own a home they could sleep in?

I couldn't ignore him, though. My car was in the drive and the engine was still warm. He would know I'd just gotten home not too long ago, so I made my way to the door and flipped on the lights. When I opened, he held up a six-pack of beer and grinned at me.

"Thought you might want some company." The old tradition of him showing up on a Friday night with brews and cigars hadn't been carried out since I left. A lot had changed, and this was something I didn't mind that had gone away. Not because I didn't want to talk to John, but more because seeing his face reminded me of his sister.

"Yeah, sure, come in," I told him, though my conscience was screaming. I just beat off to a picture of his sister. How many times had I felt that way when Melody lay in my bed upstairs post-sex waiting as I had a beer with him down here unaware?

John stomped his feet at the door and joined me in the cold living room. It had to have been obvious I wasn't here much, but he didn’t say anything at all. He parked on the sofa and cracked open a bottle, and I sat across the table in my recliner and had one of my own.

"I thought you'd be happy to hear I've got two very promising candidates." His beer tipped up, and he smiled at me. I'd been at this a few weeks now, but this was the first promising update he'd shared.

"Yeah? Think you'll make a decision soon?" I relaxed a little, thankful his topic of choice was something that might help my mind be more at ease.

"I hope so. The board has to do their interviews, so at least a week, maybe two. But soon." John set his beer down and sighed. "Thanks again for covering me. I owe you big time."

There was nothing to be said. We were best friends and he needed me. I just didn't think it would come at such a cost to my mental health. I never knew Mel was returning to town at the same time as me.

"No problem," I told him, but instead of pacing myself, I downed the beer and wished it would drown my racing heart.

"How's work going, anyway? How is it working with Melody? Is she doing a good job?" His question bristled me, and I shrugged to mask the way my heart jumped.

"She's a good nurse." I couldn't really even speak on this topic. I let my staff do what they did best and stayed out of it, especially where she was concerned. My heart was too messed up to do the job correctly.

"I hope you two can jive on the Christmas activities they put on you. Not my decision, by the way." He said that with both hands up in surrender and a chuckle. "But if anyone can do it, it's Mel. Christmas is her favorite time of year, or it was. I mean with the twins, I think that part will come back too…"

"Twins?" I asked, reaching for another beer. I hadn't asked John for an update about her in years. Not since their mom died and I realized Mel was never coming back to me.

"Yeah, they mean so much to her, the way we meant so much to Mom. I really think getting busy with the parade and the float will help Mel adjust to life back here, though she’s not home much for them."

I gathered that Melody had gotten herself pregnant with twins, but if I just asked for the full story, John would want to know why I was so nosy. It was none of my business. She was a distant acquaintance now, not my fling or my girlfriend. The sister of my best friend and my coworker, nothing more.

I wasn't surprised, though. Melody had always wanted to be a mom, so I knew even if we had an oopsie moment and she got pregnant, she'd never abort. She'd keep them because more than anything, she believed motherhood was the highest calling she could have. I valued that about her.

"She has twins?" I asked nonchalantly, and John nodded.

"Yeah, they're like two and a half or something. I forget. She's been away so long, and I only got out to see them a couple times a year. Her little boy, Noel, doesn't even recognize me. He freaks out when I come over. I was so strapped to this desk, I hardly know them." John chuckled and sighed. "I just want them all to be happy and for everyone to stop hurting. Thanks so much for helping her with the decorations and stuff. I know it will help her get into the Christmas spirit more.”

So she went out and had a one-night stand or something and her life changed entirely. It made me sad for a moment, that her life change hadn't come with me, that her twins weren't our twins and she hadn’t come running home to declare her love. I gave her no reason to believe it was a possibility and I ran off around the world, anyway, but the dream was still there.

I wondered if she knew the father or if she had dated him at all. Had she run out on him too? Was this a pattern of behavior or…?

"What are you thinking?" John's question interrupted my thoughts, and I shook my head.

"That must be hard for her, that's all. She's got to be so busy." I sipped a second beer and decided maybe life for her was harder than I knew and I never gave her the benefit of the doubt. I felt like a fool for being so upset.

But I still hated the holidays, and the pain of the past was still there, haunting me. I couldn't really get Melody into any Christmas spirit without some of my own, but that bank account was empty. It ran dry and I didn’t think it was ever going to fill up again. I was stupid for agreeing to help John cheer her up, but I told him I would. I had to now. I just knew there was going to be an explosion of emotions between us, though, and when that happened, I hope we were alone so no one else heard all the dirty laundry that got aired out.

Then I could leave this town once and for all and never look back.