Grumpy Doctor’s Holiday Twins (Forbidden Doctors #17)

11. Melody

11

MELODY

L ucas followed me out to the car, but by the time we got there, Holly was fussing. She mentioned that her belly hurt and I didn't have the heart to drag her out in public with a sore stomach. She'd been sleeping so much over the past few days, I figured it was a viral load on her body and knew the best thing for her was to sleep, so I told Lucas to meet me there and stopped by home to leave the kids with Dad who was most eager to have playtime with Noel while Holly slept.

I was thankful for his help and glad we were all together again here in Mistletoe Springs. Even though the twins had barely interacted with John, they took to him quickly, and it made me feel like the move back was the best decision I'd made for them.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I saw Lucas's little hatchback parked near the barn with the storefront sign hanging above its entrance. I found a spot close to it and parked, but before I even got my purse and got unbuckled, Lucas was there opening the door. He had a hot cocoa in hand and bright smile on his face. I loved that he loved Christmas as much as me. I was starting to feel a connection with him.

"There's the lovely lady I've been waiting for," he practically sang, and I climbed out of my car, accepting his offer of an arm for support and cocoa for warmth.

"You're pretty cheery. You seemed disappointed when I told you I had to leave the kids with my dad." I walked alongside him after my car was locked up, and he patted my gloved hand with his. The air bit down on my body, making me lean a bit closer to him.

"Well, I was disappointed. I love children, and spending time with your twins just made my heart happy. But I'm glad to have alone time with you too. It's not exactly lunch, but…" He sounded wistful and dreamy, and I realized that when I blurted out "it's a date", he must have taken that literally.

My cheeks warmed, but I used the paper cup full of hot cocoa to mask that, hoping he'd attribute the blush on my skin to the cold air. I didn't mind him thinking this was a date, though. He was very attractive and a very nice man. And while my heart was nowhere near ready to move on and jump into a relationship—learned the hard way when Ethan made it clear that under no circumstances would we be a thing again—it was at least nice to spend time with another adult without children around.

Lucas led me through the lot of pre-cut trees, pointing out a few beautiful blue spruce trees and a few white ones and showing me the difference. I never knew someone could be a connoisseur of pine trees, but this man seemed to have a special affinity for them. The white spruce variety had always been my favorite, but I never knew what they were called, only what they looked like.

When we had a few towering pines for the large open foyer picked out, we moved toward the shorter ones to select some for individual hallways. John and the board refused to allow us a tree for each room for health reasons, but I was really getting into the spirit with just the main halls and the wreaths for each door.

"This one is so beautiful." I stopped next to a particularly sturdy-looking spruce with even branches and perfectly symmetrical placement. I almost wanted to ditch the fake tree in my living room and take this one home. "I remember my mom used to always pick this kind and it smelled so good."

Lucas stopped next to me and his hand gravitated to the small of my back, which I didn't mind. I was shivering, and any added warmth helped. He sighed happily and stared at the tree with a nostalgic expression.

"Grandma Sudman always had white spruce like this too, grew them in her back yard, one for every year. We'd go out and chop one down, and she would have us plant one in spring to replace it. Five years' worth…" His happy memory lit his face up again and warmed my heart. It was so comforting to be around someone who wasn't complaining about the cold or the overly zealous carolers who frequented the hospital.

The past week had been one frustrating interaction with Ethan after another, and while my heart was still hung up on him, I realized how different we were now. Even years ago, Ethan never loved Christmas as much as me. He had always had plans to leave our small hometown in favor of somewhere that "celebrated all four seasons, not just Christmas." Lucas's personality and zest for the holidays made me feel like we were connected at the core.

"So, you aren't from around here?" I asked as he tied one of our color-coded ribbons onto the tree to indicate to staff which ones would be delivered to the hospital tomorrow morning. He had been a busy little elf while I was dropping the kids with Dad.

"Oh," he breathed, then continued, "I grew up not too far from here. Milwaukee—or the outskirts, actually." Continuing to walk through the rows of trees, I let him keep his hand on my back. "Grandma Sudman had a big farm where she hosted the whole family, just up the road in Door County. We always made a trip into Mistletoe Springs for shopping, and I fell in love with the place. So when the job opened up here, I took a pay cut and basically a demotion in order to come here.

"I love this little town and the people. I love how much they all love Christmas and how everyone in town seems to come alive with joy and the spirit of giving this time of year, but more so how they continue it well into spring." He chuckled and added, "Sometimes, I'm surprised there isn't a 'Christmas in July' festival here."

I laughed with him because it was so fitting. He was right about how much people in this town obsessed over the one day of the year where magic seemed to happen for everyone, and they had managed to stretch it out to months and months of celebrations and traditions.

"I missed being here when I was in Chicago." I found myself leaning on him more and more, relaxing into the moment. I felt comfortable opening up a little, but he didn't ask why I was out of town or what brought me back. I knew he knew something, which I myself had told him, but he was content to let me reveal them on my own, another bonus quality.

"I think we have enough picked out now. Maybe we can warm up with more cocoa and get this order placed?" Lucas tipped his head toward the barn, and I nodded. We had more than enough, and I figured we'd end up donating a few wreaths or trees to other departments in the end.

We headed into the barn and approached the counter, ready to place our order. The warmth was an immediate comfort, and I again found myself thinking of the stark contrast between warmth and cold, Ethan and Lucas. He was about as cold as ice, especially when he told me he'd pay me to do all this work myself. I should have demanded his credit card, not the hospital's, but it wasn't his expense to bear, and after being shut down last night, I didn't really want to interact with him.

Still, I fully expected a call or text from him lecturing me for not speaking with him first. He was the interim department head and he'd let that authority go to his head.

"Dr. Hart," the woman at the counter said, "do you have all your items tagged for delivery?" she asked, and I reached for my wallet.

"We do, and a few more than we thought." He took off his gloves and tucked them under his arm before pointing at the cocoa machine. "We'd like two more cups too. Those will be on me, not the hospital."

I sorted through my purse and got John's card out and laid it on the counter. They’d take the number for record, and when they processed how many trees and wreaths we tagged, the hospital would be charged.

I watched her as she got two paper cups and filled them with cocoa and marshmallows before putting lids on them and sliding them across the counter toward us. "That's $8.98 for the drinks, and I'll take your card number down for the invoice." Her bright smile turned upward and she winked. "And you can enjoy the tradition of a holiday kiss while I run this for you." She took Lucas's card too, and I felt the blood drain from my face.

My eyes rose to see the sprig of mistletoe hanging over our heads. Only last week had this same thing happened between me and Ethan at the nurses’ station, and he had allowed me to at least follow tradition so that the town gossips wouldn't banish us from all Christmas festivities.

Lucas grinned and his eyes sparkled with mischief. He might have been a newcomer to town, but judging by his expression, he understood the significance of the plant and the moment. I wasn’t getting out of this kiss any more than the one with Ethan at the hospital, and I thought my knees were going to buckle. This was one holiday moment I could've done without. Lucas was an amazing man, but my heart was so hung up on Ethan, I felt sad kissing another man.

"Shall I do the honors?" he asked, and both of his hands went to my elbows, cupping them gently.

"I, uh…" I licked my lips, not really sure what to do. Did I want him to kiss me? Was that where this was going? He was so nice, so handsome. He loved my kids, and we had so much in common… And my phone buzzed.

Just as Lucas leaned forward, I looked down to my right hip where the screen lit up the inside of my purse dangling from my shoulder. Lucas's lips planted on my cheek instead of my lips, and I cringed at the same moment. My phone was ringing, and I was standing here letting another man try to kiss me under the mistletoe while I was hoping it was Ethan. Tears almost welled up in my eyes as I realized it was Ethan I wanted to kiss me.

"One sec," I told him, pulling my phone out. I backed away to see the name on the screen was Dad's, not Ethan's, and I answered it as I turned my back to Lucas, who now looked a little discouraged. "What’s up, Dad?" I asked, walking away from the mistletoe so I was sure that didn't happen again.

"Oh, just called to check in. Noel is out for the count too so I have two napping toddlers and lots of free time. How is tree shopping going?" I had never been more relieved to hear his voice. He saved me from a kiss that would have definitely led Lucas on.

"Good to hear. The trees are ordered and I'm going to stop by John's office before I come home. Need anything?" I asked, hoping Lucas heard me talking to him and realized it was family. I hated that I not only broke tradition, but I was probably hurting a good man's heart.

"Nothing but your smile. I have dinner in the Crockpot ready and waiting."

"Thanks, Dad. See you soon." I said those last words a little louder on purpose, then turned to take the hot cocoa and the hospital card back from Lucas.

Before he could even speak, the cashier chided us. "Tradition breakers get coal in their stocking!" Her sing-songy voice embarrassed me, and I turned away from her and started toward the exit.

"Hey, wait up…" Lucas came after me, but I was flustered. He finally caught me at my car and I had to face him. I was embarrassed and sad.

"I'm sorry, Lucas. I didn't mean to?—"

"Nonsense, you told me last week you're not ready for a relationship right now and you're pretty busy, so I'm being patient. Why don't you get home to your kids? I'll see you tomorrow." He stepped back while I used the fob to unlock my door, then he opened it for me.

"Thank you for being so amazing…" I didn't know what else to say to him. I felt like a huge disappointment and I was grieving at the same time. Why, after all this time and the way Ethan had treated me lately, did I even still care about him? Why couldn’t I just move on?

"Go on. Warm up." Lucas shut my door and backed up, allowing me space to start my car and pull out, but he watched me the whole time with that same steady smile.

I almost started bawling as I drove down the highway toward town and the hospital. I wasn't supposed to hate this so much. I was supposed to have the joy of the holidays now. Nothing would ever work with Ethan again. I knew that. So, why was I still not over him?

Back at the hospital, I found John seated behind his desk, working. His secretary let me walk right in, and he never even looked up when I entered. She must have warned him that I was coming back. His furrowed brow and dark expression concerned me, though. I knew there were a few staffing issues at the hospital and I hoped nothing too difficult or challenging was happening.

I laid the card on his desk and slid it at him with a finger. "Here you go, Boss. Trees all ordered."

He didn't look up at me but he did ask, "How'd it go? You and Dr. Hart get good trees?"

I could tell something was weighing on him, but I kept it light so as not to add to his stress. "Things were great. We may have bought too many, but they'll be beautiful with the ornaments Lucas picked out."

"Lucas?" John asked, finally looking up at me.

"Dr. Hart," I clarified. He looked downright mad.

"And Dr. Sinclair? How's he doing with this? He's supposed to be helping you, right?" I remembered John's request, that I engage Ethan and make sure he got a good dose of Christmas spirit, but that was challenging when the man refused anything to do with me or the holiday festivities.

"He, uh… He offered to pay for things, but he's just not in the mood for it." I bit my lip and felt bad again for frustrating John more. It seemed like I was doing a lot of that today. I saw when Ethan looked irritated with me for letting Lucas come after asking him. And then Lucas's expression when I didn’t kiss him. And now this.

"He just used to be so happy, Mel." John pressed his fingertips together and rested his chin on his thumbs so that his pointer fingers were touching his lips. "He was so passionate about his job and enthusiastic about life, and now he seems sullen and withdrawn and all he talks about is leaving town to go to Africa or somewhere. Just earlier, he told me he got that promotion…"

My heart twisted in my chest. John's words were a knife slicing through me. It was my fault Ethan had changed. I could see that now. I was the one who hurt him so badly that he wanted to leave and never come back. I was the one who ruined the holidays for him, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell my brother that.

"I'm sure he just misses his other job." My chest physically ached and the tears threatened to well up again.

"Yeah, well, whatever," John said, dismissing the comment with a wave of the hand. Then he changed the subject so quickly I almost got whiplash. "You know, Mel, you never told me anything about the man who fathered your kids. You said it was a one-night stand?"

My body froze as John's watchful eyes inspected my facial expression. I had never told him because it was none of his business and I had to keep it that way. Ethan could never find out, not now after all of this. He deserved that promotion and he didn't want me anyway, so I collected myself calmly and responded.

"Yes, that's what I told you." Lucas had blurted out that Holly resembled Ethan, which I always thought too, but he did so right in front of John. However, if John had any suspicions I'd have seen them on his face, and all I saw was concern there. But it unnerved me all the same. "Why are you asking?"

"Well, I just see the horrible relationship Ethan has with his parents, particularly his father, and I just don’t want that for my nephew and niece. I mean, even if the guy was a total jerk or there was animosity between me and him for the way he left you hanging, I'd still want them to know him and have a good relationship with him."

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes filled with tears I couldn’t let out. They burned so badly as I forced a smile and said, "Yes, well… that would be nice, but it's impossible now. Maybe I’ll meet an amazing man like Dr. Hart who will be a good father to them someday." I tapped the card and said, "I gotta run. Dad has lunch…" Then I turned and walked out, and before I was even at the door the tears were on my face, hot and fast.

John didn't try to call after me or stop me, but I felt his eyes on me until the door was shut behind me and I was hustling down the outer office hallway to get away from here before someone asked what was wrong. I fell apart in the front seat of my car, crying until I coughed, coughing until I was dry heaving.

If John knew, he was sending me a very loud message—Ethan had upset him, but he would look past that if only it gave the twins their father. If he didn’t know, the Christmas fates had a cruel way of torturing me and making me wonder whether I should even have come home.

I was fully in love with Ethan Sinclair and I couldn’t have him, and neither could Holly or Noel, even though John was saying he would bless it now. I couldn't do anything but sob.