Guarded Rebellion (The Baranov Legacy)

8. Eva

8

EVA

I took my assigned seat in the chemistry lab, leaned my elbows on the counter, and cradled my face in my hands.

Oh. My. God.

Lab classes were my favorites. Even though I only had two—chemistry and biology—I could have a breather from Lev. A wall stood between us. He couldn’t insert himself in the room like he did everywhere else. The assigned and limited seats in the room prevented his overbearing presence from invading here.

And I needed that break.

After the intensity of his gaze and the firmness of his grip on my neck…

Oh, fuck.

Hot and bothered at just the memory of his leg pressing between mine, I relished the secrecy of keeping my face in my hands. No one could see the rabid blush on my cheeks. No one could witness the phenomenon of me appearing so bewildered. So flustered.

So… turned on.

Lev was attractive. I couldn’t and wouldn’t deny it. But I refused to act on it. Unfortunately, though, I couldn’t command my body to resist him either.

Being under his dark stare and caught between his hard body and the wall, I was reduced to a needy, horny woman. If he’d done that little act to show me the difference between a man like him and a boyish guy like Bryce, well, he’d succeeded.

That fucker.

At the buzz of my phone, I sat up, ready to march right outside and throttle the man if that vibration indicated a text from him.

I needed a break. I needed a vacation from him after that stunt.

Was it a stunt?

I cringed, looking at my phone before the lab would start.

Kelly: What in the hell were you doing in the hallway????

“Dammit.” I didn’t want to face the third degree from her.

Kelly: You insist that he’s just there as your bodyguard. You keep saying you can’t stand him.

Kelly: So color me confused when I backtracked in the hallway and saw you with Lev caging you in.

She sent a GIF of a man leaning against a doorframe.

Kelly: And you looking like this

Then came a GIF of a woman drooling.

Eva: I didn’t look like that.

Kelly: You’re right. You didn’t. You looked like this.

Another GIF came. This one was of a woman hurrying to take her clothes off and being too clumsy to manage.

“Oh, shut up,” I mumbled out loud. A smile won the fight, though, and I felt stupidly giddy thinking of how to reply to her.

“Well, I know that smile isn’t because you’re texting your boyfriend,” my lab partner said wryly.

I lowered my phone as I locked the screen, turning to face Irina Petrov. She flicked her long, straight, chestnut hair back as she gave me a cool once-over.

“Because I know you can’t have one,” she finished.

I didn’t reply, losing the mirth-like feeling that had me wanting to grin and giggle with something that seemed a lot like girl talk with Kelly.

I hadn’t encountered Irina directly on campus. I’d noticed her, as had Lev and Rurik. Petrovs were our rivals, and while the violence and fighting never reached me personally, I’d been raised with the understanding that there would never be a Petrov and Baranov alliance. Much less a friendship.

While Irina wasn’t suggesting we become buddies, I wasn’t sure how to interpret her comment. For one, she was right. I didn’t have a boyfriend, and I never would. I would only transition from a virginal nobody to a bride via an arranged marriage. Dating and getting to know men wouldn’t happen for me. And it wouldn’t for her either.

It almost could bridge us together, kindred in the sense that our fates were identical, just in different Mafia Families, but I was too guarded to warm up to her.

“What are you doing here?” I asked instead, not being outright rude but inquisitive. “I haven’t seen you in my lab before.”

“They had to mix up the labs this week. My TA is out.” She shrugged, already losing interest as she lowered her attention to her lab book, doodling on the margins of the page.

“Hmm.” I lowered my phone facedown, nowhere near prepared to look at the screen while she could see. Our not being allowed to have boyfriends was an odd thing to share in common, but it wasn’t enough to make me want to befriend her. No trust had been established by her commenting that we were equally stuck in our lives.

For anyone else watching, we were cool to each other, not inviting any more conversation. Irina didn’t push to ask what was making me smile or who I could be texting on my phone. It wasn’t her business, but I could give credit where it was due. She wasn’t nosy, but then again, she knew better than to put her nose where it didn’t belong. Our families had lines between us for a reason.

Even if she was trying to strike up a conversation and befriend me, I wouldn’t know how to manage it. I didn’t make friends easily—other than Kelly. She and I had hit it off effortlessly, and it was another reason I loathed that Lev had prevented me from rooming with her in the dorms.

I felt close to Kelly, almost as though she were the sister I’d always wished to have. Sonya wasn’t a sibling anymore. Wherever she was, if she was alive, was too far of a separation for me to reconcile with.

I sighed as the teaching assistant, or TA, came into the room. Lab began, but from reading the material ahead of time, I was prepared for this one to be a boring one. A slow lab. As such, my mind wandered and I thought back again and again to what Kelly had texted me. No phones were allowed during labs, but with today being a computer modulated exercise, not something with actual chemicals and materials, several students broke that rule and got their phones out. I did too, seeing that Lev and Kelly had texted again.

Lev: Irina Petrov entered your lab.

I rolled my eyes. Duh. And so what? I was here to study, not pay attention to what my peer from a rival family did. She happened to be my assigned lab partner, but we’d done our exercises on our own laptops, not even collaborating.

Kelly’s text was far more interesting.

Kelly: Ok, ok. I’ll stop teasing. Don’t be mad and shoot the messenger delivering the news that you’ve got it bad for Lev.

Eva: I’m not mad.

I’d never typed a reply so fast. I didn’t want her to think I was mad at her. Here I was embracing our friendship, and she was worried about being ghosted.

Eva: Sorry I couldn’t text back. Chem lab.

Kelly’s opinions mattered. She was a friend, and she was observing how Lev and I didn’t get along. Letting her see me clearly turned on was a flaw I couldn’t control, but I wondered how helpful she might be in offering advice on how to handle this dilemma.

Rebelling against Lev had become a habit. The thrill at getting a rise out of the grumpy jerk was too irresistible to stop. I bit my lip, stalling in leaving the lab even though my work was done.

I couldn’t face Lev yet.

Not when I was coming to the full realization of how much I enjoyed rebelling and fighting with him. Guards had never inspired me to bicker or talk back before. But something about getting that heated glare from Lev just… made me wild for more. It was wrong. I knew it was forbidden to lust for a man who worked for the family, especially since my uncle had yet to determine who my groom would be.

Irina sighed, moving her finger over her mousepad as she sat up straighter to unkink her back and neck. Her movement caught my eye, though, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever faced this problem. If she’d ever desired one of the Petrov soldiers. She had them with her here on campus somewhere, but I didn’t get the impression they were in her face and tailing her shadow everywhere like Lev had been with me.

Eventually, I had to leave. Lab was over, so I walked out to Lev. He didn’t speak to me, though, too busy on his phone.

Grunts and sounds of affirmation were all he spoke or shared with whoever was on the other line, and I grew curious. Business matters of the family weren’t anything I had to worry about, but he looked so severely serious that I was intrigued.

If something could bother him , the formidable and impassive brute of a man who showed little emotion, it had to be something significant.

That wasn’t the only time he was on his phone, either. All night, he took calls. Then the rest of the week, too. Each time he was preoccupied with whoever was calling him, I was spared his direct judgment, taunting, or orders not to stray. He was with me, always near and diligent in securing my safety, but he wasn’t speaking to me.

Which is a good thing, right? The first day, I told him not to talk. I hadn’t assumed I could order him mute, but now that he wasn’t talking to me and held up with his phone, I had to suffer the irony of wanting his attention back on me.

What if he’s going to be pulled off my security detail? What if Uncle Oleg is going to have him deal with something else? Or with someone else?

I wasn’t privy to business matters. I didn’t want to know the details. But it wasn’t hard to imagine a strong, serious man like Lev being more useful in another way.

Starting my “grand escape” from the mansion, I'd wished for any other soldier than Lev to be with me nonstop.

After coming to experience a sliver of the excitement he caused me to feel with his hands on me, his body so close and trapping mine in place, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him in this proximity.

I wanted Lev. No one else.

Who am I kidding?

It wasn’t as though I could ever act on this desire. All I could do was dream for something different from what I would be permitted to have—a husband I wouldn’t want and a life without passion.