Happy Trails & Honey Pots (Firefly Island: Southern Nights #2)

38. Miles

38

MILES

“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait?” Braxton asked for the fifth time in the last thirty minutes as she slid her laptop into its bag.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

We wrapped principal photography three days ago and had been doing testimonials the past two. The crew flew back last night, and today, Braxton and I finished clearing out the production office. We had a flight leaving from Savannah in three hours.

Zoe and I hadn't seen each other since she showed up at the house after the fight with her mom. She’d been working doubles, and I’d been working the same hours. She’d agreed to meet me here to say goodbye. She was coming straight from work.

What she didn’t know was that I had no plans to say goodbye.

“I can change the flight,” Braxton offered. “If you need more time.”

“Go. I’ll be right behind you.” Or not. I didn’t really know. But either way, I didn’t want Braxton here to witness it.

“Good luck.” Braxton sighed as she lifted her hand in a wave as she headed out the door.

I hadn’t told her why I was hanging back, but I knew she knew.

My phone vibrated before the door shut behind her. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was my mom calling. I sent her to voicemail. I’d deal with whatever she wanted after I spoke to Zoe.

I’d played out this conversation in my head a hundred different times. I’d taken what Braxton had said on board. I knew that I needed to tell Zoe how I felt. I couldn’t expect her to know just because I thought it was obvious. I knew there was a very good chance she wouldn’t be ready to hear what I had to say, that she’d have the same answer for me that she had for Elias, but I had to try. I couldn’t leave without telling her how I felt.

I’d just slid my phone back into my pocket when it began to vibrate again. I pulled it out and saw it was my mom calling back. She hadn’t left a voicemail. I knew that she’d just keep calling if I didn’t pick up, and I didn’t want the distraction. This conversation was too important.

I answered and put the phone to my ear. “Mom, can I call you?—”

“Miles, where are you?”

“I’m in Georgia. Can I call you?—”

“I’m at your house, and you’re not answering the door.”

She was slurring her words. It was clear she was under the influence of something. I just didn’t know if it was alcohol or pills or what.

“I know. I told you, I’m in Georgia,” I said louder, as if the volume of my voice had anything to do with her not comprehending my words.

“But I need to get into your house, and I keep knocking, and you're not here.”

“Okay, Mom, just stay there. I’m going to send someone over to let you in. They will stay with you until I can get you help.”

I’d paid for her to go to several rehabs. Some were better than others. I always had hope that they would stick, but I knew that she was going to have to want to change. I couldn’t force her to get sober.

“Okay, can you just come to the door now, please? I’m really tired.”

“No, Mom, I’m in Georgia. I’m gonna call someone. Just stay there. Okay?” There was silence. “Mom?” I looked at the screen and saw that the call had dropped.

I sighed and dialed Braxton.

“Did you want me to turn around?” she asked when she answered.

“No. My mom just called. She’s at my house wasted. Can you call Liza or Beatrice to go over and stay with her until we get back?”

Liza and Beatrice both worked for me over the years. They’d moved on to bigger and better things, but they still had access codes to my home, knew my mother, and I trusted them. More importantly, Braxton trusted them.

“On it.”

“And can you see if we can get her into Horizons or maybe Serenity? I know she’ll fight us to do outpatient, but I think she needs inpatient care.”

“Got it.”

“Thanks.” I hung up and tried my mom again. It went straight to voicemail, which meant her phone was probably dead.

“Fuck.” I put my phone back in my pocket and ran my hands through my hair as I turned around. When I did, I saw Zoe standing in the small hallway entrance.

“Hey.” I smiled.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I knocked, but it was open, so I just came in.”

“No, it’s fine. I was just…my mom called. She was drunk or on pills or something…”

Zoe started to turn. “I can go if you need to go be with?—”

“No.” I took a step forward. “She’s at my house in California. Or at least she said that’s where she is. There’s nothing I can do for her now. I have someone going over there. It’s getting taken care of.”

Her eyes softened as she nodded. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“Just that you have to deal with that.”

I shrugged. “You don’t get to pick your parents.”

She let out a forced laugh. “Yeah.”

“She didn’t have the best childhood. Not that I’m making excuses for her, but you know, sometimes there are reasons people behave the way they do.” I’d told her about my childhood with my mom but not that much about my grandfather.

She tilted her head to the side as if she were considering it, then she exhaled. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

I took another step forward. I couldn’t help myself when she was near. She had a magnetic pull that I was powerless to resist. “Thanks for coming.”

“I’m glad you asked.” A smile spread across her face, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I wanted to say goodbye, too.”

“That’s not actually why I asked you to come here.”

A wrinkle appeared between her brows. “It’s not?”

“No.” My lips curled in a lopsided grin. “But I knew you wouldn’t come if I told you what I really wanted to say.”

She took in a deep breath as if she were preparing herself to hear bad news. I hoped that wasn’t the case. I truly hoped what I was about to tell her did not fall into that category.

Her mossy green eyes lifted to mine. “What do you really want to say?”

“Can we sit?” I asked, pulling out one of the chairs at the conference table.

She looked down at it, and I could see that she was considering saying no. That she wanted to stand. Finally, she nodded, walked over, and lowered into the seat.

I sat across from her so I could look into her eyes.

“What did you really want to say?”

I noticed she kept her purse on her shoulder. She definitely had one foot out the door. Even if that was the case, I still had to put all my cards on the table.

“I want to say that I love you, Zoe. I think a part of me fell in love with you the second you opened the door wearing a T-shirt and sweats. When I saw you, it was like a jolt of lightning struck me. I was speechless. I couldn’t remember who I was, where I was, or what I was doing. I’ve never felt like that before. It was more than just attraction. It felt like I recognized you, or my soul did. I know that sounds crazy, but I was drawn to you in a way I’ve never been before. I can’t stop thinking about you. And the more I’ve gotten to know you, the deeper my feelings have gotten for you.

“I love what an amazing mom you are. I see the sacrifices you have made for AJ and continue to make. And I love how sweet of a granddaughter you are to Walter, the support you give him. And what a loyal friend you are. You show up for people and are a living example of the meaning of unconditional love. Everyone who knows you is better for it.

“And it’s not just you that I love. AJ is the best kid. I want to be there for him during his teenage years. I want to be there when he learns to drive a car and when he graduates from high school. I want to be the one who stays up late with you when he breaks curfew and the one who sits on the bleachers at his games. And who is visiting colleges with you if he wants to go to college.”

“He is going to college,” she stated firmly.

“Okay,” I grinned. “And Walter is an incredible man and role model. I only ever knew my mom’s dad, and he was a mean, abusive alcoholic. I could sit and listen to Walter talk for hours. I would love to go to bingo with him or go fishing with him and AJ. I want to be a part of your guys’ lives if you’ll have me.

“You always put yourself last, and I understand why you’ve done that. But I want to be the person in your life that puts you first. You deserve that. If you let me, you will always be my first. You, AJ and Walter will be my first.”

“You live in California—” She rose out of the chair, gripping the strap of her purse handle so tight her knuckles were white.

“I don’t have to.” I stood. “I can live anywhere.”

She was shaking her head and backing away toward the door, which I did not take as a good sign. “You’re saying that now, but what about when the novelty wears off? What happens when you get bored? This would never work. We’re from two different worlds.”

“I’m not going to get bored. This isn’t a whim. I love you, Zoe. And we can take this as slow as you want. I know that the only way to prove myself, for you to trust this, to trust me, is time. That’s all I’m asking for. Just give me time.”

She was still shaking her head. Even harder now. “I can’t.”

“Do you love me?” I asked as I took a step forward.

I could see tears forming in her eyes as they dropped to the ground.

“Look at me, Zoe.” I took another step forward, closing the distance between us, and her gaze lifted to mine. “Do you love me?”

“I don’t know,” she answered as her shoulders lifted in a shrug.

“Yes, you do,” I countered.

“No, I don’t.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “This whole thing is confusing. My feelings are all…this is all…it’s all wrapped up with the past and…”

“And Austin,” I said what she wouldn’t.

“Yes, and Austin.” Two more tears fell down her face as her lower lip trembled. “I think I love you. I really do, but it’s confusing, and I just don’t know. But I’m so grateful that I met you. You are the kindest, most generous, patient, incredible man, and I’m so happy that AJ met you and you came into our lives.” She lifted up on her toes and pressed a quick kiss to my mouth before lowering down on her heels, turning, and walking out the door.

And this time…it really did feel like goodbye.