Harmonizing Hearts (Darkest Symphony #1)

15. Chapter 15 Jax

D riving back home I have a bad feeling. I read in her eyes a pain I’ve never seen before. I tried to reach her out, but she disappeared without letting me talk.

I park next to Luke running toward the elevator. If his car is here means she’s home.

Carlos, one of my friends, chose the worst moment to send me the report, but I couldn’t help myself and I read it. I was ready to move on, erase the memories that marked me the most, especially Blake fucking Grayson, but it seems destroying my childhood in the foster house wasn’t enough.

“Babe?” I call her out once I get home. She doesn't answer but I know she's here. Her keys are on the table. “Em?” She's nowhere. Luke wouldn’t have let her go away alone, which means she said nothing to him. Scrolling through my contacts, I hit the call button. Her bestie has all the answers.

The ring in the background seems endless until Angel picks up. “Hi Jax.”

“Please tell me you know where Emma is.” The plea in my voice seems so weird.

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, as if Angel is choosing her words carefully. “You know I’m a fan of you two Jax, but she needs time.”

Time? Time for what? “I did nothing, Angel. Nothing at all.” I snap, regretting it right away.

“I thought you two had argued or something. She sounded exhausted and asked for a week off,” Angel confesses. “She… she went to her auntie’s,” Angel finally reveals, her voice filled with a mix of sympathy and hesitation.

My heart skips a beat, relief washing over me like a soothing balm. “Her auntie’s?”

“It’s in Meadows Street 99, the only house that faces the lake. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you, Angel. Thank you for letting me know.”

I hang up and lean my forehead on the steering wheel, contemplating my next move. With a renewed sense of purpose, I start the engine and drive toward the familiar path that leads to Lake Meadow. It’s where our love bloomed amidst the tranquil beauty of nature.

The drive feels endless, each passing mile heightening my anticipation and trepidation. As I near the lake, memories flood my mind—moments of laughter, stolen kisses, and whispered promises. I’m determined to find Emma, to face the truth head-on, and perhaps, to find a way back to each other.

Trust.

Where the fuck is it, Em?

Do you really think I’m that piece of shit?

I rub my face in frustration. Fuck me!

Finally, I arrive at my destination and I stand at the doorstep of Emma’s childhood home, my heart pounding in my chest. Trish opens the door, her eyes widening in surprise. “Jax? What are you doing here?” Her concern can’t be missed.

“I need to see Emma,” my voice betrays the fear that clenches at my core. “Is she here?”

Trish hesitates for a moment before nodding slowly. “Yes, she’s here,” she says softly. “But she’s not in a good state. I’m not sure if she wants to see you.”

My heart sinks at her words, but I refuse to believe them fully. I need to see Emma, to look into her eyes, and explain everything to her. I push past Trish and step into the house, my determination overriding any doubts or hesitations.

“Jax, wait.” Trish follows me while I search each room, calling out Emma’s name, but there’s no response.

Panic wells up within me as I realize she might be hiding from me, that she might want nothing to do with me anymore. My mind races, and I start to question everything that led us to this point. “You said she’s here. Where, Trish?”

She seems uncomfortable and steps back, “She’s not here at the moment.”

“Please. Trish.” I’m on a verge of tears and I don’t fucking care, I need to know where Emma is. She says nothing. “Fine.” I walk past her. I’m fuming. I can’t believe she’s hiding from me. It’s not fair! I don’t deserve it, I love her with all I am. I’d die for her. How can she erase everything we’ve been?

As the night stretches on, I wait outside, hoping to catch a glimpse of Emma when she comes back. I sit in the car, my eyes fixed on the front door, my heart heavy with longing and uncertainty.

Hours pass, the night growing colder and darker. I shiver, but I refuse to give in. My determination to see Emma outweighs any discomfort or fatigue. I clasp my hands together, praying that she will appear, that we can mend the shattered pieces of our love.

Finally, as the first light of dawn breaks through the horizon, the front door opens and hope shows again before crashing at my feet.

Trish steps out, her gaze meeting mine. There’s a weariness in her eyes, and I can sense her own pain and worry. “Jax,” her voice filled with a mixture of sympathy and caution. “You’ve been waiting here all night?”

I nod, my throat too tight to form words. The anticipation and uncertainty have taken their toll on me, but I push forward, desperate for any news about Emma.

Trish sighs, her shoulders slumping with a heavy burden. “Emma is scared, Jax,” she confesses, her voice barely above a whisper. “She’s hurt, and she doesn’t know how to face you.”

My heart skips a beat, a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. “Scared? Hurt? Why?” I manage to utter, concern and confusion washes over me. It can’t be because of what I did. She must know by now how much I love her and I’d never do anything to hurt her. I wanted to finally let her parents rest in peace and find the motherfucker who has ruined a family.

Trish hesitates before speaking, her words delicate and heavy with emotion. “Emma found out she’s pregnant,” her voice shakes, “and knowing you were the one who caused her parents’ accident was too much to handle.”

“Oh my fucking God!” I throw my hands in the air in frustration, "It wasn't me, Trish. It was all Blake's fault. I had no idea and had nothing to do with it." Tears spill over as I choke the words out. The world around me seems to come to a standstill. The revelation hangs in the air, and I struggle to process the weight of those words.

Pregnant.

Emma is carrying our child, our future.

The magnitude of the news washes over me, filling me with a whirlwind of emotions—fear, joy, and a renewed sense of responsibility. “I need to see her,” I state firmly, determination surging through my veins. “I need to be there for her, for them.”

Trish nods, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and hope. “Emma needs you now more than ever, before?—”

“Before what?” I snap my head at her. “Where is Emma?”

“She didn’t want to listen to me and went to Meads Hospital.”

“Why? Is she hurt? Is the baby all right?”

Tears roll over her cheek, as her eyes look like a void. “She said she didn’t want to bind you to her with a baby.”

“No, no, no, no, she can’t do it.” I sprint to the car, stumbling on my own feet. I roll on the ground but get up immediately. The engine roars while speeding like a madman as I leave Emma’s auntie’s house with a renewed sense of purpose, my mind racing with thoughts of her, of our unborn child, and the weight of the situation we find ourselves in. Fear grips my heart as I realize the magnitude of the choices before us. I grab my phone and dial Emma’s number, praying that she will answer, that I can reach her before she does something she’ll regret.

The phone rings and rings, but there's no answer. Panic sets in, and I can feel the seconds slipping away. I can’t lose her. Not now, not when we have so much to face together.

Leaving the car in the middle of the parking lot, I rush through the hospital corridors, my heart pounds in my chest, each step bringing me closer to the truth.

“Hey you, the car!” security complains.

“Here.” I throw the keys to him while I reach the reception desk, breathless and filled with a mixture of anxiety and determination. “Excuse me,” I call to the nurse behind the desk. “I need to know if Emma Wilkinson is here. Please, it’s urgent.”

The nurse looks at me with a mix of sympathy and concern, her eyes scanning the computer screen in front of her. After what feels like an eternity, she nods and points me in the direction of Emma’s room. “Room 302.”

I nod my thanks and take off running, my heart racing faster than my feet can carry me. Each step brings me closer to Emma, to the answers I desperately seek. I burst into the room, my breath catching in my throat at the sight before me. There she is, sitting on the hospital bed, her face pale and weary. She looks up at me, her eyes filled with a mix of pain and tears. My heart aches at the sight of her, and I drop on my knees in front of her, taking her hand in mine.

She tries to pull back but I grip at her hand. “Baby?”

“Don't.” She shakes her head, tears running down her face. “I need to leave.”

“You can't leave.” My voice is almost a whisper. I feel a pain in my chest like someone is trying to rip it off.

“Please don't make it harder.” Her low voice shakes me. Is she giving up on me? What the hell Blake told her?

“Why?” I cup her face, forcing her eyes to mine. Her eyes are empty, and tears are rolling over her cheeks, making me die on the inside.

It can't be true.

It can't be happening for real.

“Let me go.” She backs off.

“Let me explain, please.” I beg her.

“Explain what, Jax? That you lied to me?” She throws her hands in the air in frustration. “I told you I wanted to leave the past in the past and remember my family as they were, but you wanted to go ahead.”

“I know and I'm…”

“Don't even dare to say it. You're not sorry, you chose to hide it from me instead. I was just a game for you, wasn’t I?” I look at her, puzzled. My brain refuses to work. What the hell is she implying? She gets up and walks away from my reach.

“Emma!” I don't want to shout, but she stops. I know she's crying. I can feel it even though she has her back turned to me. “Let me tell you the truth and then if you still want to leave,” I take a deep breath, “I won't stop you.”

She shakes her head. It's like being stabbed. My heart aches as my vision blurs with tears.

“Please babe, don't leave me.” The words left my mouth begging her. I hug her from behind even though she tries to free herself. I keep her close to me. Facing my biggest fear that tears my heart apart.

“You lied to me!” Em cries, stopping fighting me.

“I never lied to you to hurt you, baby. I wanted to make them rest in peace and take off a burden from your heart,” I confess, tightening my hug. “I never meant to hurt you, Em. You're the only one that is worth living for.” I turn her in my arms. The redness of her eyes is killing me. “Carlos is a friend of mine and he has dug a lot for information. I asked him to find out anything he could find. It took him more than a month, but he found out who caused the accident, and why it was achieved so fast.”

“He said you feel guilty.” She swallows before glancing into my eyes. “It was you?”

“What?” I step back, shocked. “No babe, what the hell are you talking about?” I can see her breathe again. “Blake was driving drunk when the accident happened. He was the bully in the foster care, and I was one of his targets. That's why he teased you.”

“Oh my God.” She gasps, trembling in my hands.

"Apparently, the mayor adopted him and paid a fortune to cover everything up." She bursts into tears, and I pull her close. "Shhh, it'll be okay, baby."

I knew it'll break her. That's why I didn't want her to find out this way. “I'm here, babygirl. I'll be here as long as you need me.” I kiss the top of her head, rocking her. Picking her up, I take her back on the bed, holding her close, letting her cry.

Hearing my phone buzzing, I open my eyes. I didn't even realize we fell asleep. Emma cried a lot, and I felt useless. I wanted to erase her pain instead I did worse. I look down at her, finding her lovely eyes staring at me.

“Hey, baby, do you want to get up?” I caress her cheek.

“No,” she snuggles in my arms.

“Babe,” I whisper, my voice shakes while a potent mix of relief and worry sinks into my bones. “Please look at me.”

Tears glisten in her eyes as she squeezes my hand. “I… I couldn’t do it, Jax,” she stammers, her voice barely above a whisper. “I was scared, overwhelmed by everything, but… I couldn’t go through with it.”

Understanding dawns on me, and I gently brush a strand of hair away from her face. “We’re in this together,” I assure her, “We’ll face whatever comes our way, hand in hand. Together, baby.”

She sniffles, a mixture of emotions crossing her face. “I didn’t know if you’d want this,” she admits, her vulnerability piercing through the tension. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of losing the baby, of losing a part of you.”

A surge of love and tenderness washes over me as I lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I want you, this baby and the next hundred, more than anything in this world, baby girl.” My heart swells with love, “You’ll be the best mom ever and I’m so proud and mad at you for not telling me right away. I’d have flown in immediately. Fuck the concert and everything else, Em. I’m living because of you, baby.”

Emma’s eyes meet mine, and in that moment, I see a glimmer of hope, a flicker of trust reigniting between us. She caresses my cheek, “You look tired.”

Kissing the palms of both of her hands, my eyes linger at her womb, “Rest can wait, the important thing is that you and the baby are okay.”

“They are,” she nods.

“And you?” I shake my head before understanding her words, “They?”