Hate & Chaos : The Complete Duet

11. Scarlet

11

SCARLET

M y heart’s in my throat as I walk to Dad’s office. He wants to see me. I don’t know why, but I’m going to bet it has to do with the prisoner still locked away downstairs. I hate thinking of Ren down there, all alone. He’s already been alone for so long, locked in his mind. Tortured. The last thing he needs now is to be a prisoner. Physically, as well as mentally. But I know better than to fight, especially when Dad and Q still act like Ren should be grateful he’s alive. Like not murdering him makes them heroes or something.

I have to push all of that out of my head before I tap on the door. The only sound that comes from inside is Dad’s voice ringing out in response. “Come in.” I roll back my shoulders and lift my chin before striding into the room like there’s no problem.

“Good morning.” Like the good little daughter I am, I walk around his desk and lean down to kiss his cheek. “How are you feeling today?” I ask. He looks tired as hell. Maybe his conscience is bothering him. I can’t imagine how it wouldn’t. I know he thinks he’s doing what’s right for the family, but Ren thought he was doing the right thing, too.

“The kid who tried to murder your brother and your pregnant sister-in-law is still locked in one of the cells downstairs.” He gives me a sour look before snickering and rolling his eyes while I try not to react to the mention of pregnancy. “I’m feeling wonderful, in other words.”

There’s an easy way to fix that. Just let him go. Nope, that wouldn’t get me anywhere. I have to bite my tongue hard enough to hurt, but at least I manage to keep my thoughts silent.

“Did you want to see me? Mom said I should visit you this morning.” Rather than sit in one of the chairs arranged close to the desk, I plop my ass on the corner and fold my hands in my lap.

“Yes, I thought we should talk. There are a few things I would like to clear up between us.” He sits up a little straighter in his chair, all business.

My heart is hammering, but I play it off, shrugging. “Okay. What’s on your mind?”

He narrows his gaze, looking me up and down. “What is this?” He waves a hand in my general direction, cocking his head to the side. “What’s the angle?”

“Who says I have an angle?” All that gets me is a smirk, which makes me groan in frustration. I have to bite my tongue again and calm myself down before adding, “I’m trying to be a grown-up. I’m trying to, you know, meet you halfway. That’s all.”

“I’m impressed you’ve turned over this new leaf.” His smirk doesn’t go away, though. If anything, it widens. In other words, he doesn’t believe me. “I’ve come to a decision. A way for us to both get what we want.”

“Let’s hear it.” It’s not easy to hide my voracious curiosity, but something tells me I need to. I want to show him I can handle whatever is about to happen without freaking out or losing my temper. I can’t afford to make any mistakes if I want to see Ren.

“You are free to visit with Ren whenever you want.”

I didn’t expect that, and I sure didn’t expect it to come out that way. “Really?” I ask once I find my voice. He always has the upper hand. I should know that by now. He’ll always find a way to surprise me.

Holding up a finger, he adds, “On one condition.”

I knew better than to think there were no strings attached. “What is it?”

“I want to have another tracker implanted in you.”

There might as well be a big, glaring spotlight shining on me. Or maybe it’s the headlights of an oncoming truck. Either way, I’m a little off-balance, but do my best to recover. “Oh, is that all?” I ask with a shaky laugh.

“I know how you feel about it.”

“But you still want me to get it?”

Shrugging, he says, “Those are my terms. You’re free to go down and see him. You can spend all of your time with him, if you want. That’s up to you. But not unless I know where you are at all times. How many more dangerous situations do you need to get yourself in before you know I’m right about this? I want to be able to trust you, but it isn’t only you we’re talking about now. And I can’t trust him. Not yet. Maybe not ever, after what he’s done.”

It hurts to hear it, but I can’t pretend like I don’t relate. “He needs help,” I remind Dad.

“And he’s getting it. But he isn’t cured yet. There’s no telling how long it will be before that happens.” He presses his lips together in a firm line while his jaw ticks. I know what he’s thinking. He just doesn’t want to say it out loud. If it ever happens. There’s no guarantee the treatment is going to work, or that he won’t struggle with this for the rest of his life. There’s no magic pill or potion that will heal him, just like there’s no magic spell that will erase the past and instantly rebuild the broken trust.

There’s one thing I know for sure, way down deep in my heart. “I can help him. I know how that sounds, but I believe it.”

“I can’t say you’re wrong because I don’t know that you are,” he admits before scrubbing both hands over his face. This has taken a toll on him. “If you’re going to help him, that means spending time with him. Which means you have the tracker implanted.”

He’s not going to let this go. I guess if I were in his place, I wouldn’t let it go, either. Besides, I did tell myself I would always listen to him from now on if I made it out of that compound, and here I am. You don’t forget an experience like that. Knowing they were going to hurt me, knowing nobody had the first idea where I was. If it hadn’t been for Ren showing up, I would still be there. Whether or not I’d be alive is another story.

Dad is still looking at me expectantly. “Well?” he prompts, snapping me back to the present. “Do I have your consent? Will you allow the tracker to be implanted?”

That’s the thing. That’s all I’m looking for. The opportunity to consent. He might be backing me into a corner here—I don’t exactly have a choice. But I could say no and face the consequences. Right now, I don’t care about the consequences. I just want to see Ren.

“Yes. Let’s do it.” Because it’s already been too long since I’ve had a few moments with him, and it’s breaking my heart to imagine him all alone.

A look of relief takes a few years off his face. “I thought you would be reasonable. You’ll be glad to know I’ve already prepared.” He pulls out his phone and types a quick message while continuing, “We’ll have this taken care of in a few minutes.”

“Right now?”

“I didn’t think you would want to wait,” he says before glancing up from his device. “And I know I’ll sleep much better once it’s in there, and we know it’s working.” The disapproval in his voice makes me cringe, but there’s no time to explain myself before the door opens and a stranger walks in, escorted by one of the guards.

The next thing I know, I’m led to a chair and asked to pull the top of my shirt down so the doctor—at least, that’s what I assume he is—can access my shoulder. “I’m going to give you a little something to numb the area,” he explains after swabbing me with alcohol. Dad turns away, staring out the window with his hands clasped behind his back. Funny how a man like him who has shed more blood than I even want to know about can’t stand watching something like this.

I suck in a breath when there’s pressure. Not pain, but it feels weird just the same. No wonder they wanted me unconscious when they did this the first time. How else could they have implanted it without me knowing?

“All done.” The entire process took less than a minute. Now there is gauze taped over the small wound, and he explains how to keep everything clean and dry until it heals. “It shouldn’t take more than a day or two, but be sure to let somebody know if you feel heat or pain at the site.”

“Thank you.” Even with whatever he injected into my muscle, there is definite soreness that wasn’t there when I first came into the room.

It doesn’t matter. It’s ironic, feeling freer than I have in a long time, even with a tracking device implanted in my body. Dad tests it on his phone, and I watch relief wash over his face when it works. I really had him worried.

“Can I go downstairs now?” I’m practically jumping out of my skin. I’m so eager to see Ren.

“Those were the terms. Whenever you please.” He doesn’t have to like it, though, and he clearly doesn’t. But I held up my end of the bargain.

Not wanting to leave without a thank you, I walk back around the desk and give my father a quick hug. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes gently.

Once he releases me, I can’t move fast enough, almost running from the room and jogging down the hall. I’m coming. I didn’t abandon you.

“Scarlet?” Mom is on her way down the stairs when I cross through the entry hall. “Did you see your father? Is everything all right?”

How did it take me so long to put it all together? “Thank you.” Once she reaches the bottom of the stairs, I throw my arms around her.

She laughs in confusion before asking, “What did I do? What’s this for?”

“I know you must’ve talked to him. He would never have agreed to let me see Ren if you didn’t push him for a decision.”

She pulls back and tucks hair behind my ears before taking my chin in her hand. “Sometimes, our men need a little prodding,” she whispers. “Now go. Don’t let me stop you.”

I would swear my feet have wings, helping me fly to the door leading down to the underground cells. It doesn’t hit me until halfway down the steps that maybe I should’ve brought him something—a snack, a book. Maybe it’s better that I didn’t since I don’t know if I’m allowed to do that yet. I just earned a little bit of freedom, and I don’t want to lose it by breaking rules I didn’t know existed.

It will have to be enough to reach Ren’s cell and be close to him again. And it is. It’s enough to make my heart swell until I’m pretty sure it’s going to explode from my chest. The way his eyes light up when he sees me, the way he wastes no time getting up from the cot and hurrying to the bars to cover my hands with his.

This is Ren. My Ren. He’s back… but for how long?

Stop thinking about that . At least my smile is genuine, because I’m relieved, so happy to finally have a little time alone with him.

“Where are your bodyguards?” he asks with a snicker, craning his neck to look down the hall.

“I don’t have any. I can come down here whenever I want now. I made a deal with Dad,” I whisper. I don’t care about any of that right now. Not when he’s touching my hands. It feels so right. I’ve missed it so much.

His eyes darken. “What did you have to promise him?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I insist. “Another tracker. I don’t care,” I add when his face turns to stone. No, the last thing I need is to bring River back right now. Or ever again, for that matter. “Really. Besides, I could’ve used it when they took me to that awful place. If it hadn’t been for you showing up when you did…” I can’t go on. I don’t need to, either.

His shoulders sink as he sighs. “I did this to you. It’s my fault.”

“It was my decision,” I remind him in a firm voice. When he looks at the floor, I squeeze his hands. “Look at me. I make my own choices—you should know that better than anybody. I could’ve said no. I didn’t. Because you’re more important. I have to be with you.”

“Oh, Angel…” He touches his forehead to the cool iron and closes his eyes. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Deserve doesn’t have anything to do with it. You’re stuck with me.” It’s good to smile a little bit. “And you’re not going to be able to get rid of me anytime soon. I’m going to come down here every day to see you. How are you feeling?”

“Surprisingly good.” His eyes are clear and bright again when he opens them. “The doctor came in earlier. She said I had a good session.”

“That’s great!”

“Don’t get your hopes up too far just yet.” When I frown, he explains, “It could take a long time. I mean, whatever is wrong with me was there for a long time. It was there before I even knew it was. You can’t just, you know, snap your fingers and make something like this go away.”

“I’m not an idiot. I know this isn’t going to go away overnight. But I’m not going to stop loving you overnight, either.” And I’m not going to stop loving our baby, even if I know it’s not the right time to break the news. When will that time come? I have no idea. I only know it’s not yet.

“Don’t give up on me, Angel,” Ren whispers, and I have never wished so much in my whole life that I could touch somebody. Hold them. Let them hold me.

I have to settle for looking into his eyes and squeezing his hands tight as I whisper back. “Never. I never will.”