Hating the Book Boyfriend (Book Boyfriend Builders)

21. JoJo

CHAPTER 21

JoJo

A s I sit on the bench staring at the lake where Colton and I first met, I can't help but believe I royally screwed things up beyond repair. I was confident when I left the house I'd find him here. This lake sits halfway between our front doors. Technically our properties butt up next to each other, but that's on the back half. There are at least two miles between us walking from his front door to mine, with two houses in between. "You freaking write romance books, Josephine! You should have run out the front door and groveled. Instead, you floundered, and now you're alone on a bench." As I wallow in my regrets, the wind rolls in, and the sound of a horse's neigh can be heard trailing its departure through the trees. The neighbors don't have horses. They don't have the land for them. "Colton took Beau and rode to his property." I rush off the bench with a renewed pep in my step.

I'm pulling down the driveway when I remember Archie telling me that Colton was staying with us and not at his place because he rented it out and there were guests occupying it. I think quick and pull down the gravel road that leads to the old barn and park so that it's out of sight. I'm not trying to make a scene. I just need to find Colton. He needs to hear my truth, and if he still wants to hate me, so be it. As I walk up the trail between the trees, I don't see any cars in the driveway or Beau. "Of course you would hear a neigh that didn't exist," I mumble, but as I stand in place ready to turn around and go home a distinct nicker catches my ear and I know it's Beau. My feet carry me through the woods as I make my way to the back of the house, where I find Beau tied up to one of the stone pillars on the downstairs back patio. "Hey, buddy," I say softly as I look around for Colton and come up empty. "Where did Colton go?" I pat his back as a sliver of worry starts to take root. What if he's hurt? That's when I notice the back door is cracked open.

I take the liberty of entering without an invitation, and when I do, I almost regret it. The place is dark, and I don't know my way around well enough. I hate dark houses. They give me the creeps. The only reason I allow my feet to carry me further is I know Colton is somewhere inside. I've only been inside this house a handful of times growing up, and when I had, it was only upstairs in the foyer that overlooked the great room. A dim light at the far end of the room highlights a staircase.

The second I reach the foyer, the picturesque setting before me has me slipping out of my boots so I don’t track in dirt. The entire room upstairs has been redone since I last saw this place. The deep, rich tones of the cedar beams have been whitewashed, white porcelain with golden veins has replaced the wood floors, and every piece of furniture is now stark white. The only color remaining is the gray stone fireplace in the center of the A-frame windows that look over the valley. Walking further into the space, I trail my hand over the back of the white leather sofa. It's not my style, and I'm not sure it reflects Colton's either, but I'd be remiss not to say it's striking. The sun setting triggers the dusk-to-dawn lighting on, and I startle, knocking over a crystal vase on the sofa table next to the leather couch I was admiring. My hands cover my mouth as shards of crystal cover the floor.

"Josephine," Colton says my name in surprise from somewhere behind me.

"I didn't mean to.” I start to apologize. I’m mid turn when I stop, not wanting to step on the splintered pieces of crystal all around me. "The lights came on and?—"

I'm swooped into his arms before I can finish my apology, and for a split second, all is right again as he holds me in his arms, but it's over just as fast as it happened when he sets me down on the kitchen countertop.

"What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious? You left and didn't give me a chance to explain my side. You don't get to forget me, Colton Callahan," I throw his words back at him, and he crosses his arms and quirks a brow. His dark studied gaze holds mine and erases all the words I had. Damn it. "I thought people were staying here? Wasn't that your excuse for staying at the farm?" He rolls his eyes and starts to walk away. "Colton wait, please. I'm just nervous and trying hard not to mess this up… well, at least not any more than I already have. You're important to me." Unlike earlier when he left me standing in the kitchen, he stops, but he doesn't turn back around. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but before I start, just know I was never withholding information to spite you or use you in any way." I let out a long breath of resolve, letting my lips trill on the expel. "I'm a romance author." I roll my head from side to side. "I mean... I use that title loosely. I'm not really sure hitting publish on a manuscript earns that title. If it's books sold, I'm nowhere near close, but for the past two years, I've been publishing books under the pen name J. Estes. Some days it feels like all I have to show for it is a mountain of debt from the cost of publishing a book people will want to read. That debt is why I participated in the polar plunge at the hotel. I haven't been taking a salary from the farm." His head turns in my direction, but not entirely. I'll take it though. He's listening. "Archie doesn't know but I've been taking my salary and putting it back into the farm. For the past few years I hadn't felt like I was pulling enough weight as him to warrant taking money away from the business. It's why I wanted the winnings. They helped me pay off my publishing debts from my last book. Those debts are the same reason the message you saw came across my phone."

He holds up his hand. "I don't need to hear anymore. You know the scandal I went through this past summer. She used me. Just because your why is different doesn't make it better. If you cared at all, you'd never stoop that low." His fists clench at his sides before he adds. "Forgetting doesn't mean it's what we want. Sometimes it's what's required to survive." His eyes meet mine. "I thought the girl I was falling for fell back," his voice cracks, and somehow, my shattered heart splinters more. "But the girl I knew, the one I met beside the lake never would have hit that low."

I jump off the counter. "I didn't use you, Colton. If you would just hear me out, you'd see that." His chest heaves and the rage building inside of him is on the verge of spiraling out of control. "We started a book-boyfriend-building business on a whim. It was a half-cocked idea formed after one too many stiff cocktails. It was started to help men get out of their own way, land the girl, and live their happily ever after. When the girls discovered Boston's most eligible bachelor was my brother's best friend, and the same guy I was snowed in with, more hair-brained ideas emerged. But I shut it down. I told them you weren't looking for a girlfriend, and I wasn't offering to find you one. They knew you were never on the table, but Colton, they are some of my closest friends. We talk in some fashion every day. They knew things were happening between us, and they can be unhinged. We don't hold back when it comes to the jokes. The message you saw this morning was a continuation of them giving me flack. Stories like Jacob's and Avery's are great for business, but?—"

"Wait… What do you mean by stories like Jacob's? You used him too?" He rubs his jaw pissed on Jacob's behalf.

"No. Jacob signed up for my help. I helped him find the courage to ask Avery out. I didn't lie when I told you I was helping Jacob land a date…" I fidget with my nails. "I just left off the part about him paying me for it." He's quiet, and when I risk looking up at him to decipher his thoughts, his glare gives nothing away before he stomps across the kitchen. I follow after him, determined not to let him walk away from me again. "You still don't believe me? You still think I'm lying? What happened to not running when things get hard?" I demand, following hot on his heels straight into the pantry, where he turns to me with a broom and dustpan in hand.

"I'm not running. I'm cleaning up your mess," he says, not bothering to downplay the double meaning of his words.

"Right…" I step out of the way and gesture for him to go around me, which he does. "Do you believe me?"

I stand beside the Christmas tree as I watch him sweep up the crystal shards across the room.

"I need time to think, Josephine."

I wait to see if he'll say more, and when he doesn't, I ask, "Well, can we think in the same room? I don't want to leave unless it's with you. If I walk out that door, I'm scared you might not open it again."

I'm sure he hears the ache in my voice, but it doesn't stop his scornful laugh before he says, "If you recall, I never opened it to begin with. You all but helped yourself to my hotel room, one I didn't offer up willingly, and now here you are yet again, walking into my house as if it is yours."

His words sting because they are true. I'm not innocent in this mess. I knew the risks, and still, I took them. When it's all said and done, I gave him my truth, and that's all I can do. You can't make someone stay. I swallow my pain and step toward the door in acceptance that tonight I don't get the guy. Only to step on another pile of hurt. Literally. "Ouch," I say as I lift my foot to find the sharp piece that penetrated my sock.

"Posey," I hear him hiss before he's helping me to the couch.

"I'm fine. It's not serious," I argue as he pulls off my sock.

His big hands engulf my foot as he drops to one knee and examines my pad. "You're not bleeding." He says before his fingers gently skim over my skin making my toes curl.

"That tickles," I try to pull my foot away, but he holds it firm as our eyes connect.

"I was just making sure there wasn't a sliver I couldn't see."

My breath catches as I hold the eyes of the man I want to spend forever with. How could I have been so impetuous? I could kick myself for not realizing sooner that this man never would have done half the things he has since I bulldozed my way into his life had he not wanted to. I blindly followed my insecurity instead of listening to my heart; now it might be too late.

He sets my foot down as he stands, and I grab his hand. "Colton, I'm sorry. I should have told you. It's like you said about our past, you can't change what was growing up, just like I can't rewind and tell you about the other me, but I promise I never thought it would hurt you." My hopeful eyes search his looking for some tell that he believes me, some shred of evidence that forgiving me isn't off the table. Those eyes, the ones I've spent hours staring into, say nothing, but the tick in his jaw tells me he's biting his tongue. So I give him something he can't ignore. "Maybe sorry isn't enough, but how about I love you? I love you so damn much," I drop my head at the thought of how that admission might be too little too late. "I messed up. I'm not too prideful to admit when I'm wrong, but I promise I can be better. I can change?—"

His fingers tilt my chin up so that my eyes are pinned on his. "Never change, Posey, not for me, not for anyone. The only girl I've ever loved is perfect just the way she is." His hand moves to the side of my face as his thumb brushes my cheek. "But there is one thing…" he draws off.

My hand covers his. "Name it."

"I want to change your last name."

I'm off the couch, standing in front of him before he can take back the words. "Are you asking?" I say as my hands knot in his shirt.

"No," he says matter-of-factly his hands now cradling my face. "I just found out my girl writes romance books. That means I need to nail an epic proposal so I get a book."

"You're already a book."

He shakes his head. "Not possible."

"You're an expert now?” My forehead pinches. “Who are you to tell me what we have isn't already storybook?"

His arm drops around my waist, and he pulls me close. "Easy. We haven't had makeup sex yet."

I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back my smile. "Then I guess you better shut up and kiss me—" His lips are on mine in a claiming kiss that brands me more than taking his last name ever could. I feel him everywhere. He may have started out as my brother's best friend, off-limits, forbidden, my enemy, but everyone knows the only thing capable of transforming an enemy into a lover is love itself. Any insecurity and uncertainty fall away when I'm in his arms, but I'm not done repenting. I push him back, and his wild eyes connect with mine in question. "I'm not done asking for forgiveness," I say as my hands drop to his belt. He doesn't say a word as I kiss his jaw before freeing him from his boxers and stroking him from root to tip. I fall to my knees and kiss his tip before sucking his head into my mouth.

"Fuck, Posey…" He hisses as I circle my tongue around his crown, making him flinch in my mouth before I suck him down to his base. His hand falls to the back of my head and twists in my hair as he uses my head to lead. I revel in him taking what he wants. He shoves his length down my throat in three long strokes before saying, "Get up, baby. As much as I love seeing you on your knees with your hot little mouth wrapped around my cock. You wanted make-up sex, and I wouldn't mind punishing you for driving me crazy since the day I met you." He helps me up. "Take your pants off," he commands before nodding toward the tree. "Then go over there and put that ass up for me. I want my Christmas present early this year."

I do as he says, knowing I want whatever he's offering. I lay my head on the plush white wool rug beside the Christmas tree and bring my knees under me, vulnerably exposing myself to him. However, I get slightly nervous when I hear rustling at my back. “What are you doing?"

The tree shakes as he pulls a strand of white ribbon from the branches. "Making sure you can't run."

"Run?" I question, distressed, until suddenly his hot tongue is licking me straight up my center. "Mmm," I moan as his tongue dips inside of me, the sensation gone all too soon as he pulls out before trailing all the way up my rear, making me blush.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I answer without hesitation.

"Good girl," he praises before saying, "Close your legs." I hesitate, and he slaps my ass. "Now!” He barks, before his tone drops a few lust filled delicious octaves, and he adds, “I can't give you what you want until you do." I do as instructed, and his hands grab my ankles before I feel the satin material of the ribbon he ripped off the tree seconds ago wrap around them.

"You're tying me up?"

"Yeah," he tightens the ribbon, and it bites into my skin. "No more running, Posey. You're mine." I feel his legs straddle mine. "Hands," he commands, and as I bring my hands behind my back, I feel his hard length press against my cheeks as he binds my wrists, and I whimper in anticipation. "So greedy," he taunts before tightening the ribbon. His gruff hands skim over my hips, making my body hum before his fingers bite into my sides, and his length slowly runs through my wet folds. "Always ready. Always perfect. Always mine," his voice is husky and shrouded in lust as he showers me in praise right before he thrusts in hard.

"Fuck," I hiss at the sting of the intrusion.

"I'm not sorry, baby. I'm not going to take it easy on you. You fucking broke me." He pulls back and slams in hard again.

He starts a punishing pace, stretching me before I can fully acclimate to his size, and I revel in its bite. He's marking me, claiming me, losing himself to me. But this isn't punishment. This is years of burying his heart. This is his love. His tip hits hard and deep right where I like it, as the ache falls away and morphs into pure bliss. I'm so turned on not only by the scene but the man at my back. Our walls have come down, our hearts have been revealed, and all that's left is our measureless love.

"You're so fucking wet for me," he pants. The sounds of his labored breathing and the way he pulls on my bound wrists with every thrust holding deep have me clenching hard. I'm not going to last, I love this man and he loves me back. I'm on the edge of letting go when the sound of a car door slamming outside has him pausing.

"Are the renters here?" I screech. Unable to move, I say, "You have to untie me before they see me."

"No one's going to see my wife. I only get to see this. I'll untie you after you come on my cock."

The way he calls me wife, so sure of the future he sees for us, has me losing myself once more as he pumps into me, determined to finish what we started. He drives in deep and hits my spot. He feels good. We feel good. The fear of getting caught morphs into a thrill, and I push back against him. "That's my girl. Take what's yours... Come for me," he grinds out, and I come hard at the same time I feel him shoot ropes of cum deep inside of me. I'm gone, I can't move as I try to come down from the high. I hear his belt, and the next thing I know, I'm in his arms. "Baby," his lips kiss my forehead, and I shut my eyes as he flips a light on. I feel my ass hit a cold countertop before my wrists are untied. "Hey," he coos as he pushes a strand of hair behind my ear, and I finally open my eyes. "God, I love you so much." His lips peck mine. "Get dressed while I handle this." I nod, and he kisses me one more time before exiting the bathroom.

A s I leave the bathroom, I hear a man say, "Yeah, my wife is clumsy too. I'm glad you found your horse."

"At least it wasn't a family heirloom. My property manager had overhauled this place to make it more appealing to renters. It was just decoration." Colton catches sight of me entering the main living space. "There's my beautiful wife now." My heart summersaults as my cheeks heat. "Again, sorry for the incident," he says as he dumps the crystal shards into the trash. "Like I said I'll comp your last two weeks for the inconvenience." I join him at his side and he laces his fingers through mine. "We'll get out of your hair now. I hope you and your family enjoy the holiday here."

"Oh, we love it here. We already tried to book it again next year, but your property manager informed us it wasn't clear if you'd be listing it again."

He pulls me with him as we start making our way toward the front door. "Yes, my wife and I will be moving back into this home after the holidays. You will be the last tenants to rent the property before it becomes our full-time residence."

"Well, that's unfortunate. Obviously, not for you, but for me. The property is gorgeous, the views are stunning and the house is cozy. If you change your mind, you have my contact information."

Colton grabs the knob on the front door, and I pull my hand away. His brow briefly furrows before he sees that I need to put my boots on. "Beau's out back," I remind him once I have them slipped on.

"That's right. We'll go out the back door, and yes, I'll keep you in mind should something change."

The man nods, and we make our way to the back door. Closing it, I ask, "What reason did you give him for us being inside the house?"

"I told him the horse ran off, and by the time we found him here, you needed to run inside to use the restroom. We thought we'd be in and out before they noticed, but then you knocked over the vase in your haste."

I narrow my eyes as I loosen the rope, tying Beau to the post. "I don't know that I like how easily you can tell a lie."

"The only lies I've ever told revolve around one truth. You. It’s said that lies always catch up with you. Deep down, I've always craved the day mine finally would because then I'd have you." He kisses my forehead and mounts Beau.

"You're lucky I kind of like you," I say with a smile.

He holds out his hand. "You more than like me. You love me. Come on, let's get out of here."

"I didn't walk here from the farm. I drove Archie's truck. It's parked on the gravel road that leads to the shed."

"We'll get it tomorrow. Now that I have you, I'm never letting you go. You have five seconds to throw your leg over and mount this horse before I jump down and throw you up here myself."

"So demanding," I snap, taking his hand and putting my foot through the stirrup.

"Wait," he scoots back in the saddle. "I want you in front of me."

I grab the horn of the saddle before pulling myself up. He grabs my leg and helps me on before pulling me tight against his front, positioning me right where he wants me as his arms wrap around my stomach and he whispers against my ear. "I love you."

"I love you more."

He nips my lobe. "Not possible."

"Take me home, cowboy," I say, as he motions Beau to walk.

His head dips into the crook of my neck, his lips lightly brushing the sensitive flesh. "You are my home."