Haven Bound

3. Chelsea

3

Chelsea

Austin Anders is not only standing in the bakery entryway, but he’s also staring directly at me.

I’m suddenly very aware of the flour-covered apron that I’m still wearing and my long golden-copper hair that’s pulled up into a messy ponytail from when I was testing out some recipes earlier. Words completely fail me as my eyes lock onto his ocean blues as I find myself standing like a damn statue as he smirks at me.

He breaks the silence first and slips his hands into the front pockets of his dark jeans, his eyes glued to mine. "Hey! I uh..." There's a slight tick to his jaw before he visibly takes a deep breath and continues, "My mom tried calling earlier to put in an order but was told the owner was out. I figured I'd save her the trouble and come down here myself."

What the hell is he doing here? Of course, he’s even more devastatingly handsome than the last time I saw him.

He’s dressed casually in dark jeans and a black long-sleeved Henley with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His dark brown hair is cut shorter on the sides with the perfect amount of length on top that has me itching to run my fingers through it. His jawline and upper lip are covered in just enough dark stubble that it looks intentional rather than because he simply forgot to shave.

If he were to walk past me on the street wearing sunglasses, I probably wouldn't recognize him if it weren't for the way he smells. The citrus and sandalwood scent of his cologne hits me, and my mind is immediately flooded with memories of him. I'd recognize Austin from that smell alone.

His gaze drifts away from mine to take in the design aspects of the bakery. Pictures of some of the treats that I offer hang on the walls along with a large bulletin board that’s loaded with thank-you cards and pictures from customers.

I know he’s waiting for a response from me, but I’m not sure what to say. I’m not going to turn down his family’s dessert table order because business is business and Hailey is more like a sister to me than a friend, but I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.

Now he’s here.

He’s here, standing right in front of me, and my mind is completely blank.

What even are words?

“Um—" I fight to clear my throat as the words catch, heat rising to my cheeks. "Sorry about that. I was out earlier for… an appointment. I planned on returning her call tomorrow."

I’m not entirely sure if I actually spoke those words out loud or merely thought them but I get my answer when Austin responds with, “Well, no need to return her call. I’m here now.” He removes his hands from his pockets and walks towards me where I’m still standing at the small round table. I find myself sinking back into the chair I had previously occupied as he approaches, my legs suddenly resembling Jell-O more than actual limbs. Sitting down seems to be the safest course of action .

I take in a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves before turning my focus to Austin as he sinks into the seat across from me. “So…” I mumble, trying to bring some of the strength back into my voice and gathering my thoughts. “My shop assistant, Quinn, said that your mom mentioned wanting a dessert table. Do you have any idea what kind of things she’d like?” Thankfully my voice no longer sounds weak and unsure though I doubt that he would pick up on the difference considering it’s been a few years since we’ve seen one another.

Austin’s gaze travels from my eyes down to the notepad that’s sitting on the table in front of me and back up. “It’s really good to see you, Chels.” A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. I give him a tight-lipped smile as warmth and a nervous flutter fill my belly at his use of the nickname. I know I’m probably overthinking this entire thing, but other than Hailey, Austin is the only other person I’ve ever imagined being a constant presence in my life.

For a few months, we had been so much more than friends but then one day he was just… gone. I thought that he had cared enough about me that he would’ve given me some kind of warning before he disappeared from the world.

Okay maybe not the world, but my world.

One day, we were sitting on his bedroom floor making a list of all of the things we wanted to do that summer, and the next day I showed up at his house only to find out he’d left. Without even bothering to say goodbye, let alone that he was leaving in the first place.

“It’s good to see you, too,” I mutter, glancing down at the notepad where I’d absent-mindedly scribbled Anders at the top. I quickly add the words dessert table before repeating my previous question to him. Thankfully, this time he answers.

“Right, dessert table. She said she wanted to keep it fairly simple, nothing too fancy.” He smiles nervously as he rubs the back of his neck, messing up his effortlessly styled hair. “Honestly, it’s to celebrate my return to town but it’s not a big party or anything. Just family….”

The way he says that last part makes me feel like such an outsider.

Just family .

Which he apparently thinks doesn’t include me, despite having been attached at the hip with his sister for the past twelve years.

It only makes me long for those days, especially with the road my love life has taken. There was a time when I’d envisioned Austin being part of my life forever. As my best friend’s older brother, he was always around. It didn’t take long for me to develop a crush on him. into something more. Something that started with stolen glances and secret kisses when nobody else was around. Even if things had remained purely friendly between us, I’d like to think that, if he hadn’t left, he would still be a major part of my life.

He would’ve been around at the time in my life when I first met Jason, and I probably would’ve never even considered Jason. Or if I had, if Austin and I had just stayed friends and I was open to the possibility of loving someone else, he would’ve been there as I built a relationship with Jason. Austin would have seen how nice Jason was and how he made me feel like the most important person in the room.

But Austin also would’ve been around to see when Jason changed and was no longer the kind and loving man that I thought he was. He started treating me like I didn’t matter once he got what he wanted from me, and the anger in his eyes had terrified me. He was no longer soft-spoken. Instead, he was loud and cruel. Yelling at me and threatening me had become more common than not, but the fear his behavior caused was what had kept me in his possession for so long.

Thinking about it now only makes me realize exactly how much things have changed between us and how angry I am that he left me here alone. As much as there’s a part of me that would love nothing more than to sit here and reminisce with him about all of the memories we share, I would also love to be able to close up and head home.

Thankfully, I’m still close with his family because of Hailey. I’ve shared many desserts with them over the years, so I repress a sigh and smile. “How about we do an assortment of brownies with and without walnuts, my signature chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal butterscotch cookies, snickerdoodles, and maybe some marble mini bundt cakes.”

I wait for him to respond as I finish writing out the list of items. When he doesn’t, I raise my head and find him already looking at me, his head tilted to the side. “You look really good, Chels.” He’s leaning forward ever so slightly with his fingers intertwined and his forearms resting on the tabletop, watching me. It takes a strength that I wasn’t aware I had to ignore the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

“Does that all sound good to you?” I ask, heat flooding my cheeks as I try to ignore what he said even though "you look really good" is now playing on repeat in my mind.

He smiles and leans back in his chair, his hands falling into his lap. “Yup, sounds great. I think she also said something about a carrot bundt cake?” He seems so relaxed and… happy.

Why does he get to be so damn happy while my life feels like it’s in shambles? Like I could break at any minute while he’s sitting there looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

It’s not fair.

It’s not fair that our time together clearly meant nothing to him and he’s entirely unaffected by seeing me again. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here with my heart preparing to pound its way out of my chest while I do everything within my power to keep my breaths steady.

“Of course, that’s one of her favorites.” I want him to know that I’m still close with his parents. I want him to know that I’ve been fine without him. Even if that last part isn’t true. “Will someone be picking up the order or will you need everything delivered and set up?” I’m not sure that I want to hear whatever his answer will be.

If the order is going to be picked up, hopefully, it’ll be by him because then at least I know I’ll have the chance to see him again. If I have to deliver and set up everything, then I’ll get to see him for even longer. But I can’t help thinking about how awkward it would be to set up the dessert table and leave when I’ve been included in nearly every Anders family function over the years. Delivery isn’t something that I typically offer, I don’t have the time or employees to close up shop and deliver an order, but I would happily make the exception for his family.

I’m forcing myself to keep a calm expression on my face and not let him see just how much him showing up here has thrown my world off its axis. A hint of fear begins to make its way through me, a weight suddenly forming in the pit of my stomach as I think about the repercussions of him being here. Here in Haven Beach, here in my bakery.

If Jason finds out …

My life has been so seemingly quiet since the day I left Jason, yet his threat still lingers.

I’m his. He’s always watching, always there in the shadows, making sure that I remain… his.

He doesn’t want me anymore, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either. I haven’t even entertained the idea of dating since I got away because of the fear he instilled deep inside of me.

“Actually, if you wouldn’t mind delivering and setting up, that would be great.” Austin smiles and stands up from the table, looking like he’s ready to leave but not sure whether or not he should say goodbye first.

I finish writing down the list of items we settled on as well as delivery details before standing. “You got it. Thank you so much for ordering with me. Things have been a little slow lately, so I appreciate it.”

Ugh, why did I just tell him that?

He doesn’t need to know about the bakery business, Chelsea.

He just got back into the city. I haven’t seen him in forever, and yet he’s standing here talking to me like no time has passed and nothing has changed between us. But… hasn’t everything changed?

He left. He left me.

He used to be the one who always looked out for me, and then one day it was like he didn’t care anymore. He was just gone. I want answers, but it’s been so long that I’m not sure if I have the right to ask for them.

He seems to ignore my comment about business being slow and instead says, “It was great to see you again, Chelsea. We’ll talk soon?” His gaze is settled on me, and it makes me feel as if he can see right through the armor that I’ve been working so hard to build. He can’t possibly sense how nervous he still makes me or the butterflies that seem to have taken up a permanent residence in my stomach. He steps forward and wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug that I wasn’t expecting.

There’s no doubt that bits of flour will now be covering the front of his shirt. “It was nice seeing you too, Austin,” I murmur, my cheek pressed against his chest. It takes all of my remaining strength to hold back a groan as the citrus and sandalwood notes of his cologne hit me, causing a flood of heat to fill my core and memories to come rushing back to the surface.

He releases me way too soon. I drop my arms from where they were wrapped around his back, giving him a gentle smile as he turns away and walks out of the bakery. A sigh escapes me as I stare after him.

What the hell just happened?