Haven Bound

14. Chelsea

14

Chelsea

Everything hits me at once.

I barely make it through our front door before I slam it closed and sink to the floor. My head falls into my hands, sobs tearing through my chest.

The interaction with Jason at the club followed by him sending the bouquet of roses, and the threatening card to remind me that he’s watching. Then he showed up at Buttersweet just to demonstrate the hold he still maintains over me.

It’s too much.

Everything feels so out of control. Like my body and mind no longer belong to me. I don’t know why I ever thought I could escape him unscathed. There were so many signs I shouldn’t have ignored, but after Austin left, I felt so alone and unseen. All I had wanted was for someone to notice me, to care enough to stay .

And for a while, Jason had been that person.

Back then I thought that I loved him and that he loved me, too. So much so that I gave him a piece of myself that I can never get back. A piece that I had wanted to give to Austin.

A piece that should have been Austin’s.

I’m not sure how long I remain sitting on the floor with my knees to my chest and my head in my hands. Hailey’s gentle touch against my arm has me lifting my head to meet her gaze. “Chelsea, what happened?” she asks, her concerned gaze running over my body as if searching for an injury that she can address.

Her words threaten to bring the tears back to the surface and I find myself shaking my head as if to tell her that I can’t talk about it yet. “Why don’t you go take a hot shower and tell me about it after,” she suggests as she takes my hand and pulls me up to stand with her. “Whatever it is, Chels, we’ll face it together.”

Forever by my side without question. I’m not sure what I’ve done to have someone as kind as her in my life.

Taking a hot shower does soothe my soul, if only a little. By the time I’m sitting on the sectional couch in comfortable pajamas, wrapped up in a with a mug of hot chocolate in my hand, I feel ready to tell Hailey about everything that’s happened lately.

Growing up, anytime one of us had something that we needed to get off our chest, we always did so over mugs of steaming hot chocolate. As children, it always felt like such a simple luxury. Now, it’s become a comfort staple. I’m sitting with my legs crossed underneath me with the hot drink in my hand as I gather my thoughts and prepare to spill everything.

I fill Hailey in about seeing Jason at the club, which sent me into a panic, and how her brother was there for me. I tell her about the threatening notes from Jason, the card that was tucked in among the roses today, and the fact that this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this. I tell her about Jason showing up at the bakery at closing time and the way he stared at me before he completely invaded my space. I haven’t felt that scared in a long time. I forgot about the way that kind of fear lingers throughout my body long after the immediate threat is removed.

“I didn’t realize things had gotten so bad,” she says, her own eyes brimming with unshed tears from listening to everything I’ve been dealing with lately. “You should’ve told me, Chels. You know that I would do anything within my power to help you.”

I reach down and set the now empty mug on the floor before once again meeting her gaze. “I know, Hails. But what could you possibly do that would help?” Her lips press tightly together. Just as she goes to speak, there’s a knock at the door that pulls our attention.

When Hailey opens the door, she moves her body, blocking my view of whoever is standing there. But I don’t need to see him to know his voice or for my body to recognize his presence. Austin and Hailey are both keeping their voices low, and it sets my nerves even more on edge, making me feel as though it’s me that they’re talking about.

I’ve felt that way for as long as I can remember. Whenever I’m in a room of people speaking in hushed tones, I always assume they're talking about me. Maybe because there was a time in my life when that was usually the case.

Doing my best to ignore the feeling, I pick up the empty mug and stand to take it into the kitchen. Austin blocks my path before I can make it across the room, gently taking it from my hands as he says, “I’ve got this. Go sit back down.” After the stream of today’s events, I don’t have it in me to insist that I can do it myself. Instead, I do as he says and go back to the couch where I find Hailey already sitting and waiting for me .

“Why do I feel like this is turning into some kind of intervention?” I ask as I sink back down onto the couch and cross my legs beneath me, pulling a soft throw blanket across my lap. Austin sits beside me, and I find myself unable to meet my best friend’s gaze, instead focusing on my hands in my lap and picking at my nails.

“Chelsea...” Hailey says, pausing as though she’s waiting for me to look at her. She continues when I do, “How long has all of this with Jason been going on?” Part of me wants to lie and say that his recent actions are a rare occurrence and not his true character. I also know that out of all of the people in my life, Hailey is the last person that I should be lying to. She’s had my back since the day we met, and she’s never given me a reason not to trust her. Never made me feel like I can’t confide in her.

Yet there are still so many things that I’ve never opened up to her about. She has no idea how bad things were for me before my mom moved us to Haven Beach. Or that the reason I always insisted we hang out at her house was because I never knew what kind of mental state my mom would be in. It was easier sometimes to just keep a distance.

Over the years, she’s the only person I’ve ever discussed my mom’s mental health with, aside from my therapist, but even that was not entirely by choice. It’s hard to make up a story at fourteen when you suddenly find yourself needing to temporarily live with your best friend because your mother was unstable and needed to be checked into a mental health hospital to stabilize her medication.

Still, for some reason, I find myself not wanting to be completely forthright about Jason’s behavior. “It’s been bad lately,” I mumble, dropping my gaze to the ground and tugging my bottom lip between my teeth. It’s not a lie, but I’m omitting that things haven’t just been bad lately; they’ve been bad for a while.

“Last night at Obsidian…” Austin’s voice is low and full of anger that I’m not quite sure what to do with. I hate that he’s seeing me as anything other than the vibrant girl I so often pretend to be.

I shrug my shoulders, and through shaking breaths, I respond, “I saw him when we were dancing, and I panicked. Before you found me outside, he was upset that I was with you and was demanding that I leave with him.” He reaches over and places his hand on my thigh. The warmth from his hand heats through to my skin, sending a wave of electricity between my legs.

This is so not the time to get lost in his touch.

“I’m sorry that you saw me like that.” I can’t help feeling the need to apologize. I know how much weight someone else’s struggles and emotions can put on your shoulders. I never want to be a burden to those around me. All of my life, I’ve had to battle my mother’s emotions as well as my own. I’ve always had to be the voice of reason, the one who makes sure she is cared for while simultaneously caring for myself.

His hand squeezes my thigh, pulling my mind away from the dark thoughts and toward him, to the here and now. “Don’t ever apologize for something like that.” I can’t focus on him, on the deep rumble of his voice, or on the way his hand feels on my thigh with Hailey sitting in the same room. I turn my focus back to her.

“He had a bouquet of roses delivered to the bakery today along with a card telling me...” Tears threaten to make another appearance as I slowly take a deep breath in and then release it. I do my best to keep my voice steady as I continue, “Telling me to remember who I belong to. And then he showed up right as I was getting ready to close up.”

I can feel Austin tense beside me, but I keep my focus on Hailey. “He purchased everything that was left in the case, and when I went to give him the box…” Tears form in my eyes, and I fight to blink them back as I continue, “He was standing right behind me. I didn’t even notice he had moved. He…” I swallow hard, wiping at the few tears that roll down my cheeks.

I’ve come this far. I need to get the rest out.

“He leaned in so close to me that I could feel his breath on my skin. I know that I should have pushed him away or done… something. But I was so scared that I couldn’t move. He slid cash into my back pocket, and then he left.”

Austin’s grip remains tight on my thigh, his thumb moving slowly back and forth. I glance his way to take in the expression on his face, which would seem fairly neutral if it weren’t for his clenched jaw. His eyes are focused on his sister like he’s waiting for her to say something. Whether that something is about his grip on my leg or the things I just confessed, I’m not sure.

“Oh my god, Chelsea.” Hailey gets up from her spot on the couch and moves to sit beside me, pulling me into her embrace. A heavy sigh of relief expels from my chest as I let the fear that was building wash away.

Here in this moment, I’m safe.

“You need a security system in place,” Austin says, removing his hand from my leg as he pulls out his phone and begins typing something .

“Like cameras? I have them, but that doesn’t really help when I’m the one who watches them,” I say, unsure of what other type of security he thinks I should have in place.

“What time do you typically arrive at the bakery in the mornings?”

What does that have to do with security cameras?

“Um… I’m usually there by seven-thirty and open at eight-thirty, but I don’t know what—”

Austin cuts me off while he slips his phone back into his pocket and says, “I’ll meet you there at seven-thirty to have your new system installed.” As much as I appreciate his concern and know that in his world, the cost of an entirely new security system wouldn’t even be a consideration, the idea of a gift this size leaves me feeling uncomfortable.

I’ve never been great at accepting help from others, no matter how badly I may need it. With so much finally being brought out into the open, I can admit that help in dealing with my crazy ex-boyfriend would be nice. It still doesn’t make accepting the help any easier.