Haven Bound

32. Chelsea

32

Chelsea

Austin and I spent the rest of the forty minutes talking about all of the things that we’ve missed in each other’s lives over the years. He told me about all of the places he’s been able to visit thanks to his assignments, and for some reason, it shocked me to hear that some of them have taken him out of the country. I’ve never been outside of California. I’ll admit I’m a little envious of all of the unique experiences he’s had.

He spent most of our time apart only interacting with fellow Legion members, which makes sense. I can only imagine how hard it would be to build any semblance of a relationship with somebody when you have to hide part of who you are.

I couldn’t ask him to open up to me without doing the same. As hard as it was, I told him everything. I told him about my mom and how I’ve struggled to maintain a relationship with her after everything I’ve been through because of the choices she’s made throughout my life. I told him about my history with Jason, how we met, and how things fell apart.

Watching Austin’s jaw clench over some of the details was mildly amusing. I was worried he was going to crack a molar with how tense he seemed. He remained quiet and let me get everything out into the open.

I even told him about Ethan stepping up and giving me a way to channel my heartbreak and anger into something that made me feel powerful and confident. He was shocked to find out that I’d learned to fire a gun and pleasantly surprised when I told him how much I enjoy the rush of adrenaline that it brings. I think he was even more surprised that it was something Ethan never told him. I knew that Ethan and Austin had remained in touch, but I never asked Ethan for details.

In my mind, Austin had left me and didn’t deserve to know anything about my life. As much as I’d wanted to ask about him, to know where he was or even just that he was alright, I was afraid of finding out that he’d started a new life and had completely moved on from whatever it was that we shared.

Austin confessed that in the beginning there wasn’t a week that passed by where he didn’t reach out to his sister or to Ethan to try and find out how I was doing. It broke his heart to know that I was struggling to even climb out of bed most mornings after he left. It took me a long time to get back on my feet. After a long process of healing and coming to terms with being left behind, I met Jason. Once Austin learned that I was seeing someone, he shared that he stopped asking about me as often.

He figured I was finally happy and moving on with my life and that he no longer needed to look out for me, even if it was just from a distance. Occasionally, my name would come up in his conversations with Ethan or Hailey, but he didn’t ask for more information than what they gave him.

There’s something about knowing that he wanted to make sure I was okay that warms my heart and chips away at what’s left of the wall around it. Maybe it’s because I now realize just how much he truly never wanted to leave me. He only left the way he did because he thought it would be easier on both of us, never expecting it to cause us the amount of pain and heartbreak that it did.

In Austin’s eyes, he was just my first love. He assumed that I would get over him and eventually move on to build a happy life with someone else at my side, even though the thought destroyed him. He didn’t realize then, and likely still doesn’t realize now, that he’s not just the first boy I ever fell in love with. He’s the man I want by my side for the rest of my life. I fully plan on showing him that I can handle every aspect of the life he’s meant to live.

We managed to get almost everything baked or prepped for the party this weekend, a barbecue meant for the Legion members and not his family as he had originally told me. A barbecue I’m now attending as not just the dessert caterer but also as Austin’s… date? Girlfriend? That’s something we’ve yet to talk about.

Now, as we stand in the elevator taking us up to the top floor where our penthouse suite is located, I’m anxious to spend the rest of the evening with him without any lingering distractions. His hand moves from the small of my back to slip around my waist, pulling my body against his, allowing me to rest my head on his shoulder.

“Are you tired?” he asks, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine. I don’t want to get ahead of myself and assume he means for anything other than to spend time together. Yet I can’t help thinking about where things were headed earlier at Buttersweet.

I hum softly to myself as if in contemplation. “I guess that depends on what you have planned,” I tease. Truthfully, I don’t know if I have much energy to do anything besides relax. I’m desperate to change into comfortable pajamas and lounge in bed after being on my feet all day long. I also don’t want to disappoint him if he’d planned for us to go out.

It’s almost eight o’clock. All I want to do is crawl into bed, but I’m not ready to say goodnight to him. Especially knowing what he did today.

“Well, I thought we’d start with a massage.” He takes my hand in his when the elevator dings, the doors sliding open to reveal the elegant entryway of the suite.

“That sounds incredible. I swear every muscle in my body is sore right now. I just need to shower first. I feel like there’s a permanent layer of sweat and flour coating my skin with the amount of baking and cleaning that I did today.” I start to pull my hand out of his as we step out of the elevator, but his grip tightens around mine. His jaw is clenched when I turn my head to look at him, his gaze locked on the floor.

“Aus—”

“Can I join you?” His whispered question catches me off guard, causing my heart to stutter in my chest.

“Join me?” I ask, pretending I don’t understand what he’s asking when really I just need a moment to gather my thoughts. I’ve never showered with someone else before. Austin hasn’t even seen me without a shirt on. My gaze travels slowly over his body. The fire that was between us earlier reignites as I imagine the hot water from the shower cascading down his naked chest.

“In the shower,” he rasps, stepping forward to press the keycard against the door until the light flashes green and a click signals the door unlocking. His eyes lift to meet mine, nostrils flaring when he notices the way my gaze is trailing over his body. I nod and move past him to step into the dimly lit living room, soft moonlight filtering in through the multiple floor-to-ceiling windows. The panoramic view of the bay is beautiful during the day, but it’s the view at night that takes my breath away.

He grabs my wrist and tugs gently, causing me to look back at him over my shoulder. “Chelsea, I need you to tell me right now if you don’t want anything to happen between us tonight. If I follow you into the bedroom, into the shower, I’m not going to be able to keep my hands to myself.”

I make a show out of trailing my gaze over his body, grazing my teeth over my bottom lip before meeting his eyes and smirking. “I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself.”