Haven Bound

39. Chelsea

39

Chelsea

After a surprisingly fun game of laser tag, we decided to pick up a few pizzas to take down to the beach. I think Austin planned for this, considering the blankets and cooler full of drinks that he’d had in the trunk.

Standing with my toes buried in the warm sand, the sun beginning to set on the horizon casts the sky in an array of vibrant pink and orange hues, I feel at peace. Like all of the darkness that’s clouded my world for so long will soon roll away with the ocean tide, leaving behind a clean slate to start anew.

Hailey and Quinn’s laughter hits me as they come to stand on either side of me. “I didn’t realize that watching three guys try to start a bonfire could be so entertaining,” Quinn says, her voice far lighter than it usually is.

“You’d think with all of the talents in their arsenal, they’d be able to build a simple fire,” Hailey quips.

“Maybe we should go put them out of their misery,” I say, fighting back a laugh as the three of us make our way over to where Ethan and Zack are attempting to get a bonfire started while Austin watches.

The breeze coming in off the ocean only adds to their frustrations as Ethan works to tear one of the empty pizza boxes into strips to feed the fire. We watch in amusement when Zack grabs the bottle of kerosene and douses the pile of wood and cardboard, causing Ethan to jump back as a whoosh sound fills the space. Suddenly, the pieces of wood stacked into an A shape are beginning to burn.

With the fire casting a soft glow and illuminating the otherwise dim area of beach that we’ve claimed as ours for the night, I sink down onto the sand beside Austin. His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me closer to his side as I rest my head against his shoulder.

“Thank you for today,” I murmur, my gaze locked on the dancing fire as it sparks and causes embers to float up into the sky.

“No need to thank me, baby. I think we all needed a day like today,” he says. His eyes travel around our group of friends who are all settling around the bonfire.

I glance over to see that Zack has Quinn’s wrist in his hand, his thumb brushing over the small tattoo that decorates her skin. His focus is completely on the mark while she speaks to him, her voice hushed and almost impossible to hear over the sound of the crackling fire and waves crashing against the sand.

Hailey is sitting cross-legged next to Ethan and seems to be showing him something on her phone, her thumb swiping across the screen as she flips through images. Hailey, Ethan, and I have all been friends for such a long time, sometimes I forget that she sees him as so much more. Austin and Ethan were practically inseparable when we were younger, and with them not being much older than us, we spent a lot of time hanging out together as a group.

When Austin left years ago, I was honestly surprised with how Ethan stepped up. While we’d always been friends, part of me felt like it was just simply because we shared a mutual connection with the Anders siblings, but over the years, he’s become like a true brother to me. He’s confided in me more than once about his feelings for someone he thinks he can never have, and on some level, I know that he means Hailey. But it’s not my place to get involved.

Austin presses a kiss to my temple, pulling my thoughts away from our friends and back to him.

“So, laser tag, huh? That was a super random thing to go do,” I tease, tilting my head back to look up at him.

His lips spread into a smile, his eyes appearing almost navy in the light of the fire as he rubs the palm of his hand across my lower back. “It wasn’t random.” A pink hue rises to his cheeks as he turns to face the fire.

“Then where did the idea come from?” I ask, keeping my gaze on him.

“The list.” His jaw twitches, his eyes watching the dancing sparks for a minute before he turns his head back to look at me.

The list . The one we created together the day before he disappeared, the day before he left me behind. It’s something I haven’t thought about in years. If I’m being honest, I don’t remember too much about what’s even on it.

“How do you even remember that laser tag was on it?” I do my best to keep my voice low in an attempt to hide the disbelief coating my words.

“Because I still have it.” His eyes search mine as we sit in silence.

His words play on repeat in my mind for a minute before I reach up to place a hand at the nape of his neck, the same way he’s done to me so many times, making sure that I have his attention.

“You’re incredible,” I murmur, watching as his eyes sink closed with my words, his chest rising and falling with shuddering breaths. When he opens them again, their vibrancy and the emotion shining back at me takes my breath away.

“Take a walk with me?” His hand slips over mine, pulling it away from the nape of his neck as he helps me to stand.

The cool temperature of the water is a welcome contrast to the feeling of the warm sand beneath our feet as we walk along the shoreline. We’re far enough away to have a private conversation but not so far away that we can’t still see our friends sitting around the bonfire.

Despite everything that’s passed between us, the walls we’ve torn down, and the things we’ve opened up to each other about, I still can’t help the feeling of unease that’s been swirling in my stomach since Austin walked into my bakery weeks ago. This feeling has me wondering if at any moment the tide will shift and I’ll be left here alone and stranded yet again. I’m doing my best to hold on to everything that I’ve learned from Dr. Harper and trust that Austin means the things he’s said to me. Even without his words, he’s shown me in numerous ways since his return that things between us will be different this time.

I’m the first to break the silence, our fingers intertwined as the water laps at our feet. “Austin…” My pace slows as I bite the inside of my cheek, attempting to collect my chaotic thoughts into something more cohesive. Forcing my attention to remain on my footsteps and the water that covers my feet as the waves break against the sand, I heave a sigh and gather the strength that I need to get the words out into the open.

“I’m trying really hard to trust and believe that whatever is between us… that it will stay this way. I want to believe that these last few weeks aren’t just some passing phase and that there’s hope for us to have a future together. I’m terrified that you’re going to leave again, and I don’t know if—”

My rambling is cut short when Austin pulls my body against his, my chest to his as he reaches up with his free hand to tuck a fly-away strand of hair behind my ear. His thumb strokes across my cheek and then his hand slides lower, a finger hooking beneath my chin and tilting my face up to his. Pain, remorse, and something more are storming within his deep blue eyes as he gazes down at me.

“Chelsea, I’m so fucking sorry for the way I left you. I… There’s no excuse. I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m not going anywhere. I can’t guarantee that I’ll never have to leave Haven Beach again, but I can promise you that if I do, I’ll come back. I will always come back to you, baby. You’re everything to me. You always have been. Knowing that all these years, you’ve felt the same way… I’ll never give this up. I’ll never give you up. I love you, Chelsea.”

The tightness in my chest relaxes as my eyes burn with the tears of relief that are threatening to break the surface.

“You’re not leaving?” My voice trembles with the question.

“I’m not leaving.” His thumb traces over my bottom lip.

Knowing that he’s not leaving gives me the strength and confidence that I need to say, “I love you, too.” And then his lips are crashing against mine like the waves crashing against the sand.

His tongue pushes into my mouth, and we both groan at the contact, his hands grasping my hips and pulling me tight against him. I wrap my arms around his neck, closing any remnants of the distance between us as I nip at his lower lip. A deep growl emanates from his chest as I flick my tongue over the bite .

I gasp and pull away from the kiss as my phone vibrates in my back pocket. “Ignore it,” Austin rasps, his voice laced with love and lust and frustration from being interrupted. I lean in to press my lips to his when the vibration stops. His tongue swipes across my lip before pushing into my mouth and tangling with mine as his fingers dig into my hips beneath the fabric of my top.

The vibration starts back up again, and I reach into my back pocket, pulling the phone out before I break our kiss. Austin’s forehead rests against mine as we both try to catch our breath. I glance down at my phone, and my heart stutters. This is the call I’ve been waiting for.

“It’s my mom…” I murmur, staring at the illuminated phone screen for a moment before swiping my finger across it to answer.

“Hey, Mom.”

“H-He’s gone. He’s gone!” The words fly from her mouth on a sob, her breaths coming in quick pants as she attempts to talk through her tears.

“What do you mean? Who’s gone?” I knew we would be having this conversation soon but it still doesn’t stop me from feeling like there’s a vice gripping my chest, squeezing painfully tight as my heart beats erratically. I know exactly who she’s talking about, but she doesn’t know that. After all, why would I know that he’s dead?

“Dan!” she shouts. “He’s… gone. He died. I-I don’t know what happened! There was a fire. A house fire. He… He was in there. He… He’s gone, Chelsea!” Her words tumble out in between hysterical sobs and heaving breaths .

Austin’s eyes search mine, concern spreading across his face as he reaches for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. I pull the phone away from my ear and put the call on speaker.

I can feel the pressure building in my chest as my mind conjures up a dozen horrible images of this all falling back on Austin, of him getting caught. As much as I want to hold space for empathy toward my mom and the emotions she’s feeling from Dan’s death, I just can’t. I hate the idea of her being in pain and experiencing heartbreak.

But I’m not sorry that Daniel Witters is dead.

A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders with his death. It was like I’d been walking through a dark and terrifying forest for so long, only to finally emerge through the trees and be greeted by a stunningly bright meadow filled with blooming wildflowers.

Like being trapped in a never-ending nightmare and then suddenly waking up and realizing it was all a dream. Only, in my case, it wasn’t a dream. Everything that I went through, all of the pain and abuse at the hands of Dan, and my mom by association; it all really happened. But his death has granted me a sense of peace and the ability to move forward with my life.

“Okay…” I won’t say that I’m sorry because I’m not. The world is a much better place without him.

“Okay?” My mom’s voice rises, her tone dripping with disbelief and anger at my dismissal. “That’s all you have to say? He was part of our lives, Chelsea, and now he’s gone,” she spews, her sobs having turned to ire.

“Yeah, and he was a piece of shit human being.” I squeeze Austin’s hand and lean into the steady warmth of his body, seeking comfort. His deep blue eyes never leave mine as he wraps a hand around my waist and secures my body against his.

“He wasn’t always that way. I have a lot of really nice memories with him.” I don’t know if she’s trying to convince me or herself, but her voice lacks any kind of conviction.

“I’m glad you have nice memories with him, Mom. But the only memories I have involving him are filled with pain and abuse. I’m sorry that you’re upset, but I’m not sorry that he’s gone.” Having Austin’s arm wrapped around my waist while his other hand is still clasped with mine gives me the calm confidence to say the words I need to.

“Yeah, well I plan on going to his funeral and I think you should go too and pay your respects.”

Pay my respects? How can she possibly think that I harbor any respect for that man? I didn’t respect him when he was alive, I certainly don’t respect him now that he’s dead.

“No, Mom. I won’t be going to his funeral. I don’t want anything to do with it. He can rot for all I care,” I manage. Austin leans in and presses a gentle kiss to my temple, squeezing my hip and lending me any strength that he can.

There’s a faint click sound and then the line goes silent.

She hung up on me.

Austin takes the phone from my hand and reaches around me to slip it into the back pocket of my jeans. Tears threaten to fall, and I press my hands over my eyes, trying to hold them back as Austin gathers me into his arms and pulls me into his chest .

I know that it’s not my fault that she’s upset. I didn’t make her feel that way, and I’m not responsible for her emotions. I just can’t help feeling like this phone call isn’t the end. Something else is coming.