Heart & Hope (Rosewood Ranch #2)

Chapter 6

Chapter Six

REED

I ’d sell my soul for her name to be Ruby Jane Rawlins. But fake husband... I’ll take it. Figures—no one has ever taken me seriously, why should she? Never before have I been so helpless when it comes to a girl.

A woman.

But fuck me if she doesn’t have me dancing on the strings she pulls. And worst of all, I fuckin’ love it. Without her around, I would come undone like a puppet with his strings cut.

And if she needs my help, I’ll be damned if I’m not there. In any capacity she wants me to be.

Right now, I can’t think of Ruby. I have to greet guests and entertain Ma so the boys can sort out the finishing touches. Mack’s orders.

Mack, who I have rarely seen since he got back from tour. And I’m not okay with that. I know you’re not supposed to have favorites. But he’s my favorite brother. There isn’t a childhood memory I have without him in it.

Dressed up and ready to go. Best Wranglers, check. Best dress shirt with my sleeves rolled up, check. Shiny goin’ out boots, check. The belt and buckle Ma gave me when I turned twenty-five, check. Hair washed, face shaved, and aftershave donned, check, check, check!

I give the complete look a once-over in the mirror before heading to the living room to intercept Ma. She is fawning over a small gift the ladies from her book club have given her. Well occupied, I leave her alone and pad outside to find Ruby at the gate with Addy.

A large box sits in Addy’s grasp. The cake.

I jog over and drape myself over Ruby like a rag doll from behind, letting my chin rest on her head, arms hanging over hers. She smells like strawberries. Her soft, silky blonde hair is curled and down, her slim figure wrapped up in some designer dress that makes her look like a million dollars.

So when Addy gives me a curious glance, I drop my mouth to Ruby’s ear.

“Do we tell her now or later that we’re fake married?” I whisper.

She slaps the side of my head like you would a sibling. I wince, chuckling, and rub my head, glancing sideways at her with narrowed eyes before extricating myself from her soft body to open the gate for Addy.

“Keep your comments to yourself, Reedsy.” Ruby scoffs.

Addy chuckles at us, and I take the cake as we head inside.

“Reed!” Hudson calls me over, standing by the stereo and speakers. Right, that’s my job tonight. DJ. Oh, yay.

I deliver the cake inside, securing it in the space Rubes made in the fridge earlier. Hudson is at my back a heartbeat later. After a minute or so of him relaying the instructions he and Pa have been reiterating all day, I sigh. “Yep, got it. Music, then dinner.”

“Right. Make sure you’re on top of this, Reed; it has to run perfect, okay?”

“Yup, got it. Drink your beer, man; loosen up. You’re getting all weird.”

He swigs his own beer as Lawson appears through the door and onto the patio.

“Where’s Addy, Huddo? Haven’t met her yet.” Lawson glances around.

Like Hudson oughta talk. Has been hiding out here since Addy showed up. Wish those two would get a room already. Like a fucking matchmaking service, I hunt Addy down in the kitchen, only to find Ruby neck-deep in the wine fridge, her friend right behind her.

“You need another beer, Reedsy?” Ruby says without looking back.

“Nope. Addy, Lawson wants to meet you.”

“Oh, sure. I was getting there, I promise, but I wanted to talk to your ma first.” Addy is as pent up over this as Hudson.

I glance to where a gathering has now blossomed around Ma. She is holding up a bracelet. I guess she likes it.

“I’ll be out in a sec,” Addy says.

She is all dolled up in a dress that’s gonna break my big brother’s heart. And I can’t help but let my attention wander to Ruby. Bent over, I’m getting a perfect view of her ass and those long, slender legs. And then I see them. Those ridiculous red heels.

The ones that made me salivate over her the first time I saw her. I lean on the bench and force my focus to somewhere less volatile for my mind. The woman is working, Reed. Jesus fucking Christ, mind out of the gutter, man.

An hour later, and three more prompts from Pa and my brothers, I stand behind the table, working the music. With a break for dinner, I schedule a string of slow country songs to play. A small hand slips into my own as I make my way to the long tables. Ruby bumps my shoulder and leads me to my place setting, right next to hers.

Now, in the fading light, with the miles of fairy lights we hung earlier, I take in her vision. Each of the tables is adorned with Ma’s favorite flowers, silverware, cream linens, and porcelain plates. Candles are dotted between the centerpieces. I hold her chair out for her and tuck her in before dropping into my own beside her.

It’s magnificent.

Ruby has outdone herself.

The way Ma’s face lights up when Pa brings her out for the meal and she sees every single guest seated and waiting sends a stone to my throat. I squeeze Ruby’s hand.

When I dip my gaze down at her, tears line her eyes.

Damn, beautiful, don’t go lookin’ like that or I’m goin’ to have to pull you onto my lap and make it all better.

“I think she likes it, Rubes,” I whisper into her ear.

She nods, and her face crumples a little as she leans into me more. I can tell this makes her happy, the way the emotion takes over her beautiful face, filling those brown eyes. This work lights her up. Seeing her happy makes me want to kiss that beautiful mouth like nothing else.

But she’s not mine. And I’m not hers. And the best it’s going to get for us is a fake deal that only lasts a week or so.

I am a thousand percent not okay with that.

Right then and there, beside the most amazing, talented, sweet, beautiful girl in the world, I make a promise to myself. I will give this, whatever it is between us, every fucking thing I got. And more.

When the meal is done, people stay sitting to chat and drink their fill of the alcohol that Pa brought in. Hudson and Addy disappear as I’m stuck talking to one of the neighbors. Ruby whips around, checking on things, ushering people outside. And when I drain the last of the suds from my beer bottle, a loud whistle followed by a crack explodes over the sky.

Gasps and oohs come from the crowd gathered in the yard. A dazed smile cracks slow over my face. Warmth presses into my side. I tilt my head down to find her brown eyes staring up at me. Elated.

“This part is kind of for you,” she whispers, pushing up onto her tiptoes.

Fireworks.

She took that and ran with it. The little boy in me right now is overwhelmed, in the best way possible. When she lifts her gaze back up to the sky, now popping with every color of the rainbow, I wrap an arm around her and pull her into my arms. “Thank you, baby.”

“Anything for my fake husband, Reedsy.”

She pats my chest and untangles herself from my hold. The second she’s left arms, my gut plummets. All I can do is stare at her back as the girl of my dreams walks away from me.

Indifferent.

Mack is silent beside me. It’s been two months since Ma’s party. Addy and Hudson have kissed and made up after a whole debacle over him not wanting to tie her down. Her not wanting to break his heart. Good Lord, those two are hard work. But it turned out okay in the end.

Thanks to Ruby’s help.

We have had constant contact via text since she left. Work is riding her ass about coming back for prep at the inn over in Great Falls. And if I’m honest, it has been a long fucking few months.

Right now, I stare at the dotted line on the bunch of papers in front of me. My own ranch. All I gotta do is sign my life away. And that is exactly what it feels like I’m doing. It’s stupid not knowing what you want at my age. But I don’t. At least I know what I don’t want. And that is to end up like my old man. Tied to the land and the animals it supports. That’s Huddo’s dream, not mine.

“You need me to read it to you, little bro?” Mack quips.

“Shut up.”

“This is only the beginning, my boy; it’s not the only thing in life, but it’s a start for you. A foundation to build from,” Ma says. I glance at her. A kind smile lights her face. Pa sits, arms crossed, staring me down, as if that’s going to make me sign faster.

Ruby’s determination and focus when she’s working slides into my mind. I want that, too. Something I can sink my teeth into. I pluck the pen from the table and scratch out my signature.

Done.

My stomach roils.

Mack takes the pen from my hand, signing his life away to a ranch similar to the one I have just landed, ten miles down the road from mine. At least he will be close by. When all the paperwork is finalized, we head over to the new ranch. I hop into my truck, and Mack piles in after I fire her up. Nickelback screams at me the second the music comes on.

For a moment, I think maybe I can do this.

I mean, I should be grateful. I’m being handed the best start a country man could ever ask for. I know Harry has a plan; he always does. But I’m not supposed to feel like a pawn, a piece of the puzzle that is my old man’s larger vision. He’s a fantastic businessman and reads people like nothin’ else. Wish I wasn’t part of it sometimes.

I turn the truck onto the dirt road and head north, hands gripping the steering wheel.

Mack turns the music down. “What’s eatin’ you, bro?”

“Nothin’,” I say, a little too fast.

“Yeah, right. Spit it out, gunny.”

I meet his gaze. His military-short hair is dark, his blue eyes like Huddo’s are scanning me now. Don’t look too hard, Mack, you’ll discover all the shit I never let anyone else find. Like the fact that most days not knowing who I am and what I want gives me anxiety so bad, I have to force myself from my room. That I use alcohol and loose women to soothe my deep and utter self-loathing.

The infamous Great Reed Rawlins.

Cowboy hack.

Loser.

And my parents handed over millions of dollars’ worth of real estate to this sham of a son.

“Reed!”

I slam on the brakes, shaking my head, trying to focus on what is flying up at us fast. Mack grips the dash. No, we are the ones going too fast. We slide to a stop, inches from Pa’s tailgate. His silver truck idles at the gravel road crossroads.

Holy fuck.

“Man, get out and let me drive. You’re not okay.”

Mack doesn’t wait. He slides over the seat, and I hop out and walk around the back of the truck, hands crawling through my hair, tugging as my nerves play havoc with my insides and my mind all at once.

“You wanna talk about it?” Mack says, shifting the truck back into drive as he looks both ways and follows Pa’s truck.

“Nope.”

“This about Ruby?”

I wish.

“Nope.”

“Geez, Reed. Give me something to work with here.”

“Drop it, Mack.”

When I stare out the window, ignoring the eyeballing he’s giving me, he returns his attention to the dirt road, and we make it to the ranch in short time. At least they are close together.

Ma hops out of the truck before Pa does. She is spinning around, arms out, delight on her face. The ranch is a smaller scale compared to ours, but it stills lays claim to two big barns, a homestead, and another small cottage-type building. A stream runs behind the house, about a hundred yards away. A set of cattle yards sit halfway up the nearest hill to the south, and stables are tucked in behind the closest barn to the house.

Yeah, this is definitely real now.

Bile rises in my throat. But before I can retch my insides onto the grass, Ma folds her arm around my shoulders. “What do you think?”

“Yup, it’s epic, Ma.”

My words are strained. I force a smile, and she rests her head on my shoulder for a moment.

“Your mother can show you inside while I help Hudson and Addy,” Pa says.

Huddo’s truck pulls into the driveway with the gooseneck towing behind. Addy sits in the front with him, beaming a smile my way as she waves. I wave back as Ma pulls me toward the house. The porch wraps around the front and one side of the house. A white swing seat hangs by the front door to the left.

“Right, so it’s a bit of a fixer-upper at the moment. But despite the outdated kitchen, the rest is still good. Could use a woman’s touch.” Ma opens the door, and we wander inside. Mack jogs over and walks in behind me.

The front room is something like a mudroom-slash-short hallway before opening into a living room with a fireplace. Sweet. The kitchen is pale wood with a navy counter. The small dining table sits between the front window and the kitchen bench. It’s homey.

“Where’s the bedroom and stuff?” I ask.

Ma almost skips down the hallway, waving to steps that lead to the upstairs. The house didn’t even appear big enough for an upstairs from the outside. We walk up the creaking stairs. When we reach the top step, three doors end the small landing.

“Your guest bedroom is here,” Ma says, opening the first door. A white room with a wrought iron bed sitting on hardwood floors. When she opens the center door, a full bath, white also. Neat and clean, not bad. At the final door, she hesitates.

“What?”

“This is your master.” She pushes the door open and steps aside, letting me go in first. I step through, and the giant rustic wooden bed sits on the wall to the left, a fireplace on the right. A huge bay window looks over the southern fields. I pad to the window, running a hand behind my neck. Below, Hudson is leading Magnet to the barn. Addy follows with Charlie in tow.

“Do you like it, hon?” Ma asks.

I turn back to find her hands clasped in front of her chest. Eyes filled with hope and love.

I close the distance and hug her tight. That’s all the mettle I need.

“I love it, Ma. Thank you.”

“Oh, your brother brought your horses over. And Pa has a surprise in the barn.”

I chuckle and lead her down the stairs. Mack is stocking the fireplace full of wood, with extra in the iron cradle beside it. “Now you’re all set, bro.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Sure, I’ll take a beer as payment later.”

“Boys, come outside.” Ma is waving at us from the front porch.

We wander into the small front yard flanked by trees, and Addy stands by Hudson, Charlie between them.

“Hey, Adds.”

She pecks a kiss to my cheek.

Hudson nods to the barn by the stables. “Magnet’s in the barn with two other horses. Tack’s put away. All that’s left to do is find Pa, he wants to show you some of the pastures. Oh, and the thing in the barn.”

We make our way over, and when everyone hangs back, I step inside with a knot in my gut. I find Pa standing by a tractor. A brand-new, shiny red tractor.

“Holy shit, Harry!”

“Language, son. But you’re welcome. You’re gonna need it. Lot of improvements to make around this old place.”

A huge Case IH tractor, an 8.7L Power Drive Magnum. I run a hand over the red hood of the engine as he opens the door and climbs in. He starts her up, and she rumbles to life. Lower and with more heart than my truck. The sound reverberates through my entire body. Pretty sure it lights up my soul.

Pa jumps down from the tractor and claps a hand on my shoulder. “Take her for a spin.”

“Geez, it’s too much, Harry.”

When his gaze levels mine, my old man simply nods and says, “It’s just the right amount. Now hop in, I’ll ride rumble, you can drive, we’ll talk numbers and plans.”

And like that, my elation fizzles to nothing.

Expectations are nothing new with my old man. We head to the western fields first, and Harry runs down the list of improvements he wants done in the first twelve months.

Should have known. Still a lackey in his eyes.

“We want the first round up to bring in enough to cover the first lot of installments before we start stacking it against the assets and turning a profit, so every day counts from here on in.”

With every word that comes from his mouth, my gut sinks further and further. Not even the hum of the tractor that turns on a dime with the slightest motion of my hand drowns out the sinking feeling that is growing, suffocating, slowly asphyxiating me. The weight of needing to be something I’m not crushes the air from my lungs.

I can’t do this.

Knuckles turned white on the wheel, I swing the tractor round and head for the barn. When Harry talks away minutes later, his words are only just audible over the roaring in my ears. My head is fuzzy. My gut a sea ravaged by the darkest storm.

I cannot do this.

I cannot let everyone down.

Not Ma.