Heart of Stone (Rock Star Fairy Tales #1)

Chapter 43

C h apte r 43

A Look in the Mirror

Afternoon, Sunday, Febr uary 22 nd at Haberson’s Body Shop in S ivas, Genc

N ik waited until they were waiting for the repairs to ambush her. “Go,” he began, his casual tone letting her know the conversation was anything but, “you going to tell me what happened?”

Margot glared at him across the picnic table. The three of them had settled in a park nestled next to the repair shop, claiming an old table by an ancient swing set—the shop’s attempt to entertain clients and their children while they worked. Tobin had wandered over to the swing, slowly drifting back and forth, long legs dragging dirt devils in the air, leaving her alone with her cousin to have a much-needed di scussion.

“You know what happened,” she told him.

“Do I?” he asked. “Because to me, it seems like you’re being a comple te bitch.”

Margot raised a hand to her chest. “Me? Are you ki dding me?”

“Tell me how I’m wrong,” Nik said, cocking his head at her. “You finally hook up with dream boy, and the second he turns his back, you disappear with New Guy.”

Margot gasped, the sound coming out of her without thought. She felt her face grow hot. “Nik,” she managed, “the second we got to Akkoy, Ash went right back to being Ash. What was I suppos ed to do?”

“He sang ‘Heart of Stone’ for you!” Nik defended.

“After he spent the afternoon with a redhead hanging all over him!” Margot exploded, her voice loud. Tobin looked over at them from his swing, but he didn’t get up, returning to his slow back and forth movement without comment. The wind picked up, a slight chill in the air.

“Go,” Nik began, “tha t’s just—”

“Don’t you dare tell me that’s rock star stuff, Niklaus Hodges,” she warned him. “If Ash was serious about me, he wouldn’t have let her do that. He wouldn’t have treated me t hat way.”

“They were only there looking for passes to the afterparty,” Nik said after a moment. “They didn’t … stay.”

“Uh huh,” Margot said, looking up at the pale blue sky. She tucked her arms close as the breeze blew, chilly despite her layers—a tank top and leggings, long-sleeved shirt, and heavy hoodie. She had given up on the skirt at the gas station, changing clothes as Nik grabbed coffee, much to Tobin’s dismay, though he had promised to undress her the first chance they we re alone.

“Nik, you know that if I meant anything to him, anything at all, they wouldn’t have been there in the fir st place.”

“The girls are always there,” Nik defended. “You k now that.”

“She wouldn’t have been there—not like that. He wouldn’t have kissed her like that.” When Nik only looked away, she narrowed her eyes at him. “You mean to tell me that if you met someone you truly cared about, someone you loved, you would be in the green room before a show with another woman calling you babe and rubbing on you?”

“It’s just how it is,” Nik said with a shrug. He stretched, long arms above his head, and zipped his hoodie, shivering a little. “But I guess you’re right,” he finally admitted. “It wasn’t cool to do tha t to you.”

“It wasn’t, and the song just made it worse.” She looked down at her hands on the table, tears suddenly blurring her vision as the old pain sliced across her chest. “He gives me whiplash, Nik. One moment he swears he loves me. The next he’s talking to me like a stranger and letting other women kiss him. I don’ t get it.”

Nik reached out to touch her hand, his skin only slightly warmer than her chilled fingers. The temperature had dropped dramatically in the last few moments. She looked up at the sky, wondering if a storm was rolling in. Dark clouds loomed overhead. “I didn’t realize how it looked. Ash is … complicated,” Nik said.

“Excuses, excuses.” She grinned, letting the ache go again. “Besides, if anything is complicated, it’s my life the last few days. The only one I can rely on has been Tobin. At least I know where h e stands.”

“You were with him?” Nik prodded, eyebrows raising. “La st night?”

“That’s none of your business,” she said primly, reclaiming her hand. The breeze had warmed, the chill abating slightly.

Nik chuckled, glancing over at Tobin and back at her. “Look at you, Baby Go,” he mused and shook his head. “Good for you, actually.”

“Why?”

“You’re finally doing something for yourself,” he said. “It looks goo d on you.”

Margot marveled at how quickly Nik’s alliance had shifted from his bandmate back to her. “Please,” she told him. “A few minutes ago I was a cold-heart ed bitch.”

“You didn’t see him last night, Go. He was a wreck.” He took a deep breath. “Honestly, he was off all day. Getting up like he was going to leave but sitting back down. I think he was going to—maybe talk to you—but then the doc arrived, and he had to stay in the RV until right before we heade d inside.”

“I’m sure he was fine,” she snapped, not liking this new image of Ash—one who had agonized over her all day. She changed the subject. “You had fun at the afterparty? No issues with Das Lep rechauns?”

Nik gave her a stern look. “He didn’t go to the party, Go. He spent the night looking for you.”

“Why would he do that?” she asked, hating the simultaneous jolt of excitement and pain that shot through her. “He knew I was with Tobin. He knew I was safe.” She paused, then added, “And why does this feel like you’re trying to make me fee l guilty?”

“That’s not it, Go,” he insisted. “I’m jus t saying—”

“Saying what?” she demanded, angry. “Spit it out, Nik.”

He took a long breath, clearly gathering his thoughts. “You aren’t exactly the most welcoming person, Go,” he sai d finally.

“What?” she asked, feelings hurt. “What the hell does t hat mean?”

“It’s true!” he insisted. “You may judge Ash for his hot and cold thing—which you’re right, it’s fucked up—but look at yourself for a mom ent, huh?”

“What about me?” she asked. “I think I’ve been doing pretty well considering my life turned into a fairy tale a week ago!”

“I’m not talking about this week,” he admitted. “You’ve adapted very well.” His face lit up, and he held up a finger. “We are totally talking about your new abilities after this—don’t let m e forget.”

“I won’t,” she promised. She gave him a little shooing motion with her hands. “C ontinue.”

“Whe re was I?”

“Telling me how unwelcom ing I am.”

“Exactly. I mean, I can tell you’re longing for Ash, but you keep yourself pretty closed off in general—even from us.”

“Closed off?” sh e echoed.

“Think about your bus,” he suggested. “You have a twin bed, Margot. A bunk bed. You’re 23. Clearly, you’re not interested in ente rtaining.”

“I’m closed off because I live on a bus?” she c ountered.

“No, you’re closed off because you designed a bus that has literally one spot to sit in that’s comfortable: your seat. Anyone else is an intruder—sitting on the floor, perched on the passenger seat. There’s no room in your life for any one else.”

“Are you really lecturing me about my bus layout? I wanted a full shower, and it made more sense for the water to be at the back with the kitchen. I gave up my back doors to make it fit!” She remembered designing the bus layout with Ash so many years ago, both of them arguing the pros and cons. In the end, she kept the windows but abandoned the back doors as an exit point. They still opened, but only to access the water tank, though she supposed she could climb out over the counter in extremity.

“I’m asking you to look in the mirror, Go. You have plenty to say about Ash and his habits, but you’re not the most open person in the room.” He sighed. “Hell, did you actually tell Ash how you felt?”

“Of course I did!” she snapped. “And it didn’t matter. None of it matters because…” Her voice fell away as she recalled the many obstacles between her and Ash. “It wouldn’t have mattered—groupies or no groupies,” she admitted. “He was neve r for me.”

“Or you were never for him,” Nik observed.

“What does t hat mean?”

Nik cut his eyes to Tobin, then back at her. “You let him in, Margot. Way more than I’ve seen anyone else in your life—and I’m going back to the Benja min days.”

“Shut up!” she hissed. “I have no idea how you even know about Benjamin.” She shook her head. “I can’t explain it,” she said finally. “But I just … tru st Tobin.”

Nik nodded, giving the fae another glance. “I hope he deserves it,” he said finally. They sat in silence for a long moment, Margot digesting his words. The air warmed again, the biting cold finally fading away as the sun came out from behind the clouds. Nik looked around, nodded, and leaned in close. “Do you want to know s omething?”

“K now what?”

“How I knew about you and Benjamin.”

Margot leaned in close, excited despite herself. “Tell me.”

“I could smell him on you—and yo u on him.”