Thirty-Three
The late-afternoon sunlight glinted off my phone screen, making it almost impossible to read off of. But I had my list almost memorized by now.
Regrets and other stuff to figure out if I live:
Wth is going on with Devroe and me?
Figure out how I feel about Mom.
Apologize to Kyung-soon.
Get to know Noelia better.
Make up for almost killing Taiyō—glasses good enough apology?
Figure out how Mom manages to be two people at once.
Who do I want to be?
Huh. I’d made more progress on this list than I thought.
The wheels of the cable car must have hit a snag. Our carriage jostled. Across from me, Noelia plastered her hand against the window while Mylo laughed in delight. Of course being in a compact car creeping up a mountain wasn’t good enough for him. It was the possibility of plummeting into the water below that made it really exhilarating.
“Stop laughing, you maniac,” Noelia insisted.
“I’ve never ridden a cable car before,” he defended himself. He had practically pressed his face against the glass windows encircling the car, watching as we ascended higher and higher toward the station at the top of the mountain while the station and city below shrunk beneath us. The water sparkled between the two. “Sick view. We’ve gotta be halfway up the mountain now. Hey, do you think we’d die if we jumped from this high?”
“Why don’t you find out? I’ll be sure to let everyone at your funeral know just how eager you were to off yourself,” Noelia bit back.
“Can we maybe not joke about funerals right now?” I said quietly.
Noelia and Mylo shut up. They looked worriedly at each other before turning back to me. Noelia put a hand on my knee. “You’re not going to die.”
“Didn’t know you could see the future.”
“It’s ’cause she only does it on Fridays and Saturdays in front of a crowd.” Mylo shrugged. Noelia rolled her eyes, and I gave a sad smile.
This dynamic between friends, it was refreshing. I was going to miss it.
“I wish I had more moments like this before. People moments. I still hate that I didn’t get to have this kind of thing before.” I swatted a tear away, eyeing my list. “I feel like I just figured out who I am and all the things I want to do. It’s not fair that Diane gets to…snap it away if she wins.”
It wasn’t fair what Mom did to her either, but I was thinking about me right now. Me and Mom and all the family I didn’t even know that well.
One more thing I’d added to the list:
Get to know the rest of the family.
“Hey.” Noelia snapped right in front of my eyes. I startled. “Chin up. I said you’re not dying, so you aren’t. Personally, I’m offended that you have so little faith in not just your own ability but Mylo’s and mine as well. We’re taking the win, and there will be no questions asked about that.”
Noelia recrossed her legs, a master of the so-sayeth-I form of encouragement. And you know, it actually helped a little.
“Damn straight,” Mylo added. He gave me a lopsided grin. “But even if we do die, we’re totally robbing the hell out of heaven.”
I laughed.