Her Knotty List (MVP: Most Valuable Pack #4)

Chapter 58

chapter

fifty-eight

My brain feels blurry, like an unfocused camera. Or maybe just a really smudged one.

Either way, the small bulbs dotting the rim of this round room give off hazy halos I can’t quite hone in on. Instead, my eyes latch onto the small, distant pinpricks glowing above.

Oh.

Stars .

They’re beautiful . A cosmic soup swirled into warmer shades of midnight, like thin clouds instead of clusters of light.

My vocal cords tingle as if I’ve just spoken for the first time in a while. Or maybe in a different voice than the one my Omega’s been using .

I reach up to touch the place in my throat where the words echo?—

And devastation sinks through me.

My fingers fumble on either side of my neck, searching, but…

It’s blank .

I eke out a whimper, but a rough hand cups my cheek, interrupting. “Look at me, baby girl. I’m right here.”

My head lolls for a moment, spinning. The command wasn’t a bark, but I still feel compelled to obey. Which makes sense as soon as my gaze finally finds the burning blue orbs staring down at me.

Alpha, my Omega tells me.

Knox , I whisper back.

I’m so relieved to remember his name, I grin over my disappointed tears. “Kn-Knox?”

His purr roars louder, even as his face falls. “What’s the matter, honey? Was that too much? Did we hurt you?”

Long, cool fingers wipe the sadness from my cheeks, another purr crowding into my side. I turn and find beautiful hazel eyes full of worry.

Micah .

“Sweet girl,” his hoarse voice whispers. “Are you having another cramp?”

The roiling ache in my belly seems quiet, actually. I may not be totally out of my haze, but the heat has broken, and I should only need a few more rounds—if any.

But, right now, I don’t want anything other than?—

Them.

Their bites. Their bonds .

My fingers tremble against the unbroken skin of my throat, my bleary eyes swimming from Knox to Micah, wondering where my other alphas are. Why they didn’t stay.

They must have changed their minds .

I probably made too much of a mess. Or got too needy with my whines and purr-seeking .

Disbelief still reverberates through my murky mind. Because… no.

No, they wouldn’t leave me. They both promised. Gunnar especially.

I’m used to that hopeful, positive voice being wrong. But a second after the thought finally forms, they both appear, crowding behind Knox and Micah.

Of course they’re here , my Omega says, self-assured. They’re ours .

The whine ringing through the air— oh, that’s me? —cuts off. My eyes roll up in a laggy blink, scanning their familiar features.

The gloriously gorgeous one with his furrowed glossy brows is my Zane. And the shredded Adonis with pain written across his expression is my hot shot, Gunnar.

He’s here, looking at me like he’d give the world to erase whatever my face is doing.

He kept his promise.

It’s not easy, but I force myself to think . They’re all still here. They all stayed, like they promised. And judging by how satisfied my Omega seems, they took very good care of me.

Relief mingles with the tightness crowding my lungs. I try to focus on that and not the empty crater at my center.

Telling myself it’s okay.

It’s fine .

It’s—

“It’s time,” Micah murmurs, feeling my forehead. His eyes drift up to one of the others, but his smile grows. “She’s ready for you, alpha.”

Ready? For what? More?

I mean, my pussy feels a bit, um, overused. But I suppose I could…

He must have meant more cuddles because the creamy nest blurs as Knox gathers me off the mattress and into his wide chest. The hair dusted there tickles my cheek, a sensation so innately familiar I know he must have spent a good bit of my heat holding me just like this. When his purr quiets into a more intimate sound, I understand why.

It’s just for me .

The second I relax, his frown dissipates. Soft blue beams trace my features before flickering back to Micah. “Are you sure? She doesn’t seem to understand what’s happening.”

Gunnar crouches at my eye level, his gray-gold gaze swirling. “Em? Can you hear us?”

With another buffering blink, I manage a nod. The lines of his face pull tauter. “You seem so sad, though, sunshine. What’s going on?”

Zane shuffles over, pressing his warm palm to my cheek while he frowns tenderly. “It won’t hurt, shona .” He leans closer, a hint of his usual spark igniting in those bottomless brown eyes. “I’ll make it feel good for you, I promise.”

A tingly rush trickles into the space between my hips. Perfume swirls into the nest while a burst of slick slips onto Knox’s lap.

The rugged alpha growls, low but gentle. He tempers it, but the sudden rush of his dominance batters me.

When I look up and see him strangling a bark, I remember how often he does that. For me.

For all of us.

Instead of demanding, he rests his forehead against mine, murmuring, “I want to bite you, omega.”

He— he does?!

Elation bursts through my body, but he’s still talking . “Make us all one bond. But only if you— oomph .”

Deep, masculine laughter fills the nest as I land on top of the pack alpha, climbing up his torso to rub my scent all over his face. Along with a few dozen kisses.

“Bonds, bites, please .”

My desperate whine drops into a whimper as he bands his thick arms around my back and chases my lips, capturing them with a groan. “Hell, baby girl,” he hums. “Did you think we’d changed our minds? ”

Now would possibly be a good time to lie.

But we all know I’m no good at that.

Instead, a shrill keen tears out of my lungs. Within a second, the alphas have me surrounded, all purring and reaching for me.

“Never, shona ,” Zane gasps out first, his beautiful eyes glossing. “Fuck, I’ll never change my mind about you.”

Micah nods his agreement, dragging his fingers over the bare expanse of my throat while he husks, “You’ll see, sweet girl. When I bite you—you’ll see how much I love you. How I could never stop, Emma.”

Gunnar pulls my attention away with a tender squeeze of his palm against mine. He bends close, whispering to me in that special way he has—the one that tells me he isn’t just talking to me, but my Omega too.

“I wanted to wait for you ,” he explains, the gold streaks in his gaze shining brighter. “Because I want you both here. I need it to be both of you.”

Tears spill down my face, and I sniffle, turning to the last alpha—the one holding me.

Knox swallows hard, his brow folded down. “It’s been killing me, wanting to bite you every time I sank into that sweet cunt,” he rasps. “I’m barely holding back right now, omega.”

And then I feel it—the way his arms tense and quiver; the wild beat beneath the wall of muscle pressed to my temple.

My eyes round with surprise and excitement. The second he sees them, that warm, adoring smile curves his lips all over again.

“God, I love you,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “Come to me, baby girl. I can’t wait another minute to make you mine. Ours .”

He rearranges me so I’m upright, the others helping to situate my legs on either side of his hips. His hardness stretches up between us, smooshed between my belly and his rippled abdomen. He ignores it, gathering me back into his purr until the sensation vibrates against my nipples.

“Alpha,” I choke out, squirming closer, bouncing on my knees. My teeth sing, wanting to clamp down on some of this magnificent muscle. He grinds his own jaw, drawing my focus to the way he flashes his canines. “Please, Alpha?”

His attention snaps to the others, issuing a series of intense looks. When he turns back to me, his alpha power is almost unbearably strong.

“You want us all together?” he checks. “Right now?”

The question alone has me rising higher on my knees, whining frantically. I nod. Knox’s lips hitch up again.

With a firm arm wrapped at my waist, he lifts me and very carefully pushes his cock into me. I moan, my hips automatically stuttering, and his purr gets louder.

“Just feel me, honey,” he murmurs. “I’m here for you to clench down on when these bites set you off.”

Another desperate sound tumbles out of me, my fingers digging into his shoulders as his girth swells against my trembling inner muscles. Micah comes around my back, stroking my sides softly while he buries his face into my hair.

“I’m excited, too, sweet girl,” he chuckles. A finger trails down between my breasts and over to the place where his hand always lands when he hugs me just like this. “I know where I want my mark.”

“Me, too,” Zane smirks, pressing his body into my left arm. His hand trails down my neck to my straining nipple, thumbing it. One thick brow curves.

“I promised to make it feel good, right, gorgeous? And it will always remind me of our first time, um, baking cookies .” He winks, and I swear my heart stumbles. The quick flash of his grin immediately softens, and he scent-marks my shoulder.

Before I can restart my brain, Gunnar nuzzles my other temple, bending my arm between our bodies to scrape his teeth over my palm. “Right here,” he whispers. “Where I can always reach for you.”

Knox rubs his nose against my neck. “I think you need me right here,” he whispers. “Don’t you, baby girl? Everyone will see it and know you’re mine.”

More tears must have started splashing from my eyes at some point, and I can’t stop them. I don’t even try. Because I don’t need to.

If anything, the fact that I’m so happy I can’t contain it just makes them all more eager. Their bodies press in; their scents swell and blend. Their purrs soften along with their hands.

They all love me , I marvel. Because I’m me . Not in spite of it .

Knox is watching my face for this exact moment. He sees the second that fact finally sinks in. And his bark is low but effective.

“ Now. ”

The pack leader bites first—a surprisingly cautious press of his teeth right into the softest part of my neck. He growls, his cock jerking in my core while his—his soul sinks into my center.

It’s solid and strong. Burrowing deep. Standing steady. Rough and tough and so very lovely in the most quiet, dignified way. As sturdy and stately as the trees his scent evokes. And every bit as towering.

He’s a landmark. I could wander a thousand miles and still turn around and see him there, right in the middle of all my mess. Waiting for me.

Because he would. I feel that. He would be waiting for me no matter how far I wanted to roam.

My body flutters around his while he comes, filling me in every way an alpha possibly could. I fall against him, ready to bite back, ready to collapse?—

But then there’s another bite.

Sinking into my palm.

I rear and whine, clenching on top of Knox as Gunnar groans . The warmth of his own release splatters my side, covering me in his scent as he grinds into my hip and holds my hand to his face.

He crashes into me like a lightning strike. Chaotic flashes of light followed by deep velvet darkness. It’s beautiful, tinged with melancholy and the fiercest depth .

Gunnar hits hard, tunneling as deep as Knox, but in a crackling, searing sense. He shifts and shines. Goes dark, lights back up. Quick and enigmatic—but the darkness holds no chill. No, he’s always warm. Always good .

And so very mine .

All that bittersweet shade slips seamlessly into the places it belongs. Underlining the brightest pieces of me. The same way that shadows underscore light.

We fit. And his soul may be a mystery he hasn’t quite solved—but I know, in this moment, that it was made just for mine.

I feel tears to match my own, wetting my fingers as he nuzzles and licks at his bite, rubbing his lips there until I start to crest into another climax. Knox grunts, and Gunnar follows, covering me in another layer of his scent.

It’s too much for Zane, who suddenly snarls, pivoting me as best he can and bending to suck my nipple into his mouth.

Dark eyes swirl up at me, blazing so bright that I almost miss the pure, heartrending entreaty underneath all his sizzle.

See me , he begs. Pick me. Love me .

And I have. I do. So very much that I sob as I grip his thick, perfect hair and shove more of myself into his mouth. He groans, low and pained, his eyes squeezing shut for only a second before they reopen, showing me the vulnerability he never lets anyone else see.

When my fingers soften and I tenderly brush his hair back, he holds my gaze and strikes, sinking into the sensitive skin just around the edges of my tingling nipple.

Zane .

I expected my fun-loving alpha to come exploding in, but he doesn’t. He comes like a sinuous swirl of silk. Color and softness and every texture of love I could imagine.

The rough and carnal. The comforting and warm. The joyful and sweet.

So many strands, woven into this incredible person who chose me . And just wants me to choose him back .

We’re so alike, but he’s worldly and wise in a way I know I’ll never be. Never have to be, now, because I have him here, deep inside.

I keep threading my fingers into his hair as he laps at the tip between his teeth. Making this feel good, the way he promised. Because underneath all that smooth color? There’s him . All his stories and humor and the deepest well of empathy I could envision one man carrying.

And I love him.

I choose him.

I see him.

He is mine .

Zane pops off to lave at his claim, shivering. Which is when I realize he’s covered my other side in a chai-spiced glaze.

Which means I’m only missing?—

Micah .

He’s the gentlest, of course. Moving carefully, crouching to the side and finding the place where my ribs meet my middle, rubbing his scent-mark there until I bear down on Knox and flood his lap with even more slick.

“There’s my girl,” Micah breathes, tight but calm. His lips brushing, then parting, then?—

Ah!

He bites me hard . Claiming with a finality that somehow has me on the edge of another high. Because he may be patient, but he’s clearly been dying to have this.

Me .

Hot seed hits the small of my back and dribbles down my ass at the same moment his essence unfurls through the tether he’s offered me.

And it’s… utter devotion . Loyalty so fierce , I didn’t know it could exist. Commitment—sure and deep and true .

And it isn’t only for me.

He will bend and break and rebuild—for all of us.

He’s the glue. The tape. Tough, but somehow flexing to fit around us all, holding things together, offering to pull himself apart just to lend the rest of us any piece we may need.

There’s a beautiful selflessness to him. And actual contentment at the bottom of it.

He doesn’t give to receive. He gives to build . Bridges, tunnels, trampolines. It doesn’t matter. He’ll make it—to make all of us into a unit .

For me.

He does it because he loves me. And wants me to have the family he thinks I deserve.

Now I do. Because of him, helping to hold all of this together while we figured things out, there are four loose strands curled into my center, waiting for me to complete them.

Micah feels me shift and hums quietly, releasing his claim with a reluctant huff that nearly makes me smile.

He may act like he has the patience of a saint, but now I know better. And as he flashes me a soft smirk, I can tell he senses my amusement at his expense.

It only makes me more impatient to finish the circuits they’ve started. So I can hear them. All of them, all at once.

I blink up at Knox’s waiting face. His fingers shake as they press into my thighs, slipping over my sweaty, slick-covered skin.

Without a word, he swallows and offers me his throat. A gesture I know, somehow, he’s never performed for a single other person.

I hide my answering tears there, smearing them into his bristled skin before I find my spot, up high, near the muscle in his jaw that ticks when we’re taking years off his life.

I’m surprised by how aware I feel, almost as if all the blurriness I’ve spent days buried in has evaporated. I even smile a little as I lick at his skin, inhaling his cedar and pine while I think about all the ways the four of us will turn his hair gray for years to come.

The only downside to being so aware is the way my inhibitions come creeping back. Do I know how to do this?

My Omega is deeply unconcerned and basically in a cum-and-claim coma. You bite them. Duh.

Knox is kinder. When he feels me hesitate, his purr deepens. “You can do it, omega. That’s the perfect spot. Here.”

He shifts his hips and tucks mine, working his knot into me slowly, so that I feel every blessed inch. When it finally locks into place, I lose all rational thought, my instincts lurching forward, teeth snapping right into him.

Oh. Oh .

We both roll into another orgasm, his brutal-sounding as he roars and bucks up into my core. I clamp and flutter, overwhelmed by so many sensations. They swarm in and around, then suddenly settle, leaving me to squint through the haze of euphoria to see?—

Oh! Oh! Oh!

It’s him!

Knox chuckles breathlessly when he hears my excitement. An answering wash of warmth froths over our bond. Yes, baby girl , he thinks. I’m here. Daddy’s here .

He spends a long moment just gazing at me, letting me experience the deep-seated swell of affection and adoration that rolls through him as his eyes trace my face. So satisfied and proud .

When he senses how surprised I am, the pride solidifies into blazing determination. Claim your other alphas, little miss. I want you to feel how proud all of us are to be yours. Right now.

The strength of his will is enough to spur me on. Whirling toward Zane.

Because he has to go next. I’m not sure how I know that, but I do.

Turning to him, I instantly sense that I’m right. I can barely see the beatific smile on his face—because his dark eyes burn . Begging.

I know the feeling so well; an empathetic scrape of longing flares in my gullet. It hurts, waiting to be chosen. Worrying you won’t be enough .

Never again.

I think the words for both of us, feeling Knox’s bone-deep approval as I lunge forward with a small sob, sinking my teeth into the smooth, flawless skin stretched over his pectoral.

Zane grunts, his hands flying out to catch my weight and stroke my hair back as our bond stretches taut and sizzles to life.

Zing .

He bolts into me like a shot—a tumble of color and joy. Awe. And such buzzing, brilliant happiness.

I expected the fireworks from him, but not the silky whisper underneath. Shona , he murmurs, look how perfect you are .

He shows me how our connection has filled every single corner of his body with pure, true elation. And something solid, settling in his center. Something new, for him.

Purpose .

You , he corrects, nuzzling his face into my curls. I wandered around for years, never knowing what I was looking for. Images fly through his thoughts, dozens of places and people and adventures, all of them tinged with a wistful sort of hollowness.

And then, a frosted window. A girl in a white dress.

And a spark . A click —his universe snapping itself together in a way that finally made sense. Everything he had been waiting for.

It’s you, baby, he tells me. You are my purpose.

I believe him. I suppose I always did. But feeling it, seeing it, reaching into him to touch it. Joy squeezes fresh tears from my eyes. Zane kisses them away, smiling against my cheeks.

A zap pings across our bond, right into Knox’s. Zane cuts him a misty, genuine grin. Hey. Thanks.

Knox nods, brusque, but we can both feel how much that one word touches him. Of course. I’m glad you’re here.

Zane’s throat gets thick. He shares the sensation with both of us, reaching over to squeeze our pack leader’s shoulder. Me, too .

Gruff embarrassment fills Knox’s side of our tether. Zane’s answering pang of amusement has the elder alpha huffing under his breath. With infinite care, he shifts me off his knot while bending to nip at his claim.

“Who’s next, gorgeous?” Zane hums, helping our alpha turn me to Micah and?—

Gunnar .

Zane thinks his name the same second I do, gazing over at our built, gray-eyed hockey boy. A thread of searing want glows along our bond, woven into the braided strand that now connects us.

The second he realizes that I’ve sensed it, a tilting gasp of guilt follows his beat of longing. He thinks I’ll be jealous or feel like he wants me less because of the way our clumsy hot shot makes his stomach flip. Instead, it only illuminates my own yearning.

My tiny purr starts up automatically. I feel my lips curve at Zane as I glance over my shoulder at his fathomless eyes.

Come here , I think, repeating the words he often tosses to me and Gunnar. Always so casual, as if they aren’t the exact lifeline we both need. I want you with me.

A hard exhale quivers out of my beautiful alpha, but he doesn’t argue. Tender appreciation laps at my insides. His hands find my hips, heedless of the mess they’ve all left smeared over my skin.

Gunnar’s throat works as he slowly kneels up toward me. The gold flecks in eyes glimmer while his gaze swims, locking onto mine.

“Em,” he husks, his features pulling. Fear flashes over his face, and he pants, pressing his palm to his chest. “Baby… it’s dark in here sometimes. And I can’t—I can’t always find my way through it. Are you sure you want to?—”

He breaks off as I stretch to put my arms around his neck, purring into his pecs while Zane snuggles into my back, reaching one arm around us both.

Yes, I’m sure , I think, parting my lips over the exact spot I chose for Zane, making sure they’ll match. I carefully break his pale skin before repeating the words, funneling them down our tunnel as it snaps into place between us. We both are, Gunnar .

It is dark here, but I’m not alone. Zane stands behind me, physically and metaphorically. Peering into all of Gunnar’s pain with me. Hurting for him, too.

Gunnar’s chest expands against my mouth, his breathing ragged. I’m sorry , he starts, shame and sadness thick in his thoughts. I can close the curtain for you, sunshine. You don’t need to worry about all of this. I’ll figure it out .

Internally, Zane and I turn to each other for a blink. His certainty clashes with mine, filling us both until it overflows into Gunnar.

Sharp relief rears back at us, his strong hands clutching at our bodies as Zane’s hand finds his nape and drags him into a tighter embrace. I purr for them both. Wetness kisses my crown when Gunner rests his face there.

Come here , I say, to Gunnar this time. Pulling him out of his shadows and into the center of our pack bond. It’s glowing with joy—Knox’s, Zane’s, my own.

We all enfold Gunnar into that happiness, covering him completely. The piece of him clinging to the dark trembles… and then recoils, springing away from his pain and letting him sink into the rest of us.

Amazement glitters through his veins. Emma , he murmurs, just to me. It’s so much brighter in here than I even thought it could be. It’s so—God, baby, how are you even more beautiful inside ?

Adoration twirls between us. I love you , he whispers. I should have told you the second I touched you. That night, when you looked into my eyes and turned me inside out… I should have ? —

But, no.

Because, if he had, we wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t have this pack.

I feel that realization hit him. Holding me closer, he turns his head. Peering at Zane.

My beautiful alpha stares right back. And there, in the middle of the bond I’ve made, I feel their souls brush for the first time.

Hi , Zane says, with a flicker of warm bemusement .

Hey . Gunnar gives the sense that he would be chuckling, repeating Zane’s own words back to him, the same way I did. Fancy meeting you here, Pretty Boy .

A flare of heat burns from Zane to Gunnar, razing a path right through me. Cinnamon perfume explodes, filling the nest and drawing Knox and Micah into our tangle.

My hazel-eyed alpha growls low, brushing his hand between my thighs to gather my slick in a possessive gesture that undoes me. The guys feel my attention shift completely, and each of them sends me bursts of affectionate approval.

Good girl , my pack alpha gruffs as I leap at Micah, knocking him onto his back. He rolls into the momentum, toppling me and pausing to hover there, his face full of guileless joy.

“You ready for me, sweet girl?”

I whine, staring into his perfect gold-green eyes. He immediately sinks his cock into my slick center, pumping deep and steady.

“ Please , love,” he grits, panting the plea. “Anywhere you want. I’m yours .”

The absolute truth of that—and the fact that I can already feel it, despite his loose bond curled into the others—makes me frantic. My instincts guide me, turning my face to the arm braced beside my head. I clamp my teeth around the straining tendons there, marking him right where he always holds me—tucking my body into his with his forearm banded across my torso.

His bond flickers to life, the string tangled through my middle and over to Zane, Gunnar, and Knox’s, too. They all exhale as the force of it hits us—showing them what I learned just minutes ago:

Micah is strong .

So much more than he ever let on. He could have challenged Knox or started a bid for his own pack with the others. He could have barked to get his way any of the dozens of times he compromised.

Instead, he took that strength and bent it into support .

Gratitude floods our tether from both sides—his and mine. Memories fly from my half, showing him all the times he’s steadied me and brought the others closer. Thanking him for everything he’s worked so hard to build with me.

It takes a moment for me to realize I’m not the only one. Zane and Gunner and even Knox—they soak his soul with their own waves of gratitude.

He takes it, shaking as my teeth press deeper, and he comes, filling me the way he loves so much. I feel that, too; the profound satisfaction spreading through his center every time he claims me in this primal way.

Micah roars, flipping us to situate me on top of his thick cock, using gravity and my squirt of slick to pop himself into place. His knot expands when he feels my body react to his pleasure, trembling around him in my own shivery climax.

My other alphas groan in unison, their senses flooded by ours. All four of their scents swarm the air, entwining with mine. Hot splatters of release hit my back, my thighs, the curve of my ass. Micah hauls me into a hug, turning his face into my neck.

The bonds tied into my middle light up, pulsing as the guys send each other internal messages. I close my eyes and hold Micah closer while he gives one last twitch inside my pussy and kisses my forehead.

I’m in you now, sweet girl , he whispers just to me. In every way. You’re mine .

The others let us soak one another in for a long moment before Knox mutters, I assume you mean ours .

Yeah , Gunnar echoes, nudging me internally. Our omega .

Zane’s bond beams pure elation, followed by a flirtatious tingle as he eyes the mess on my back. Our glazed little cinnamon roll .

“Oh holy night,” I laugh out loud. “ That’s the first thing you say in our pack bond?”

They all laugh as Micah lowers us, lying back to let the others press in at his sides. Zane reaches over Gunnar to tuck my hair behind my ear. “No regrets, gorgeous. ”

Not a one , Gunnar agrees, quieter.

Never , Micah agrees.

Knox simply flexes his steady reassurance. He turns his face to the skylight, noticing how the moon has passed over the center of the sky. It’s after midnight…

Happiness sings through the center of our bond, all of them pouring their love and relief into me.

But it’s Gunnar who presses his face into my shoulder, kissing me. “Merry Christmas, Em.”