Here’s the Thing (Seddledowne #4)

Chapter 22 – Ashton

twenty-two

ASHTON

Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

— EMILY brONT?

I fought against the sunlight, exhausted. But my eyes fluttered open against my will. A gleam of gold was the first thing I saw. My fingers curled and uncurled. Why was I wearing a gold band?

Then with a jerk, I was awake, the memories of the night before flooding through my head. An involuntary grin stole over my face. Last night was… everything I ever dreamed it could be.

I patted the blanket to find Tally but my hand came up empty. I rolled over to see the bed vacant next to me. As I sat up, the sheet fell from my chest, the air conditioning beating against me like a glacial blast.

“Tally?” I called. “Mrs. Dupree?” I smiled.

No answer.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and hopped up. Then I grabbed the doorknob to the bathroom, thought better of it, and knocked first. Still nothing. I popped the door open and peeked my head in. There was a message on the mirror in the same pink lipstick she’d worn for the wedding.

Dear husband,

Tis better to have loved and lost…

T—

My stomach dropped at the Tennyson quote. The quote in full was,

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

Tennyson had written it after losing a dear friend, when he experienced grief so heavy he thought he’d never recover. It was not the kind of quote you leave your husband the morning after your wedding.

The words looked like they’d been written in haste, but it was her initial that gave me the most pause. The top of the T was messy, like her hand was torn away before she could finish. The sick feeling that had taken up residence in my gut over the past few days was back, in full force. Tally wouldn’t leave a quote like that unless…

Had her rapist shown up in the middle of the night? No, she wouldn’t have had time to write anything if that were the case. And I would’ve heard something. Wouldn’t I?

A pile of mascara-stained tissues lay on the counter. I would’ve thought they were from removing her makeup, but there were two inky wet splotches next to the sink like she’d been crying. Fear ripped through me. I shoved it down. I wasn’t a panicking kind of guy. I was the one who talked panicking people down. And it was way too soon to panic.

I hurried to my suitcase where I pulled on a shirt and a pair of board shorts. Then I strode into the living room to grab my phone so I could see her location on Find My Friends. When I reached down, a stab of foreboding hit me in the chest. Because her phone was right next to mine, right where it had been last night.

Tally never went anywhere without her phone. Ever.

We didn’t have our phones. We’d left them behind so they couldn’t track us.

The words she’d used to tell me of her family’s escape from Oregon pounded in my mind. I picked up her phone and tapped on the screen. Our engagement photo stared back at me. I typed in her passcode, scrolling like mad, searching for any clue. Everything looked the same as always.

I picked mine up, the same picture greeting me, hoping for a text. Instead, there were hundreds of “new follower” notifications from Incognito. And a couple of emails from literary agents. Had our book gone viral overnight? I couldn’t even be excited about it. Not until Tally was back.

I laid the phone on the coffee table and forced myself to sit. To wait. But my lungs were too full and filling faster with every breath. Not releasing enough air on the exhales.

Calm down. She’s just gone for a walk and she’ll be back any minute. Maybe she wanted to watch the sunrise.

But the quote…

I left her phone in case she returned, slid mine into my pocket, and exited through the sliding glass door. Memories of falling against it last night, breathless from all the running and kissing, pulsed in my mind. It almost felt like a dream. But the handprints and smudges from her salt-water soaked dress were right there. It had been real. So incredibly real.

I took off at a jog, heading south. I ran for at least a mile, scanning the shoreline for her. Then I turned and headed back, sweat staining the armpits of my T-shirt. When I reached the beach house I checked it again. It was untouched, nothing out of place. No Tally.

I tore up the sand in the other direction to my family’s beach house. Kim and the kids were staying there. Surely, Kim would know where she was. When the house came into view, I slowed. James, Griffin, and Cash were outside throwing a frisbee already.

“Hey, Funcle Ash,” they called. Even Cash who wasn’t related in the least.

I bounded up the stairs of the back deck. My entire family and Peyton were on the screened-in porch, sipping orange juice and feasting on waffles.

Ford snorted. “Bro, what are you doing here? You should be at your place with your wife doing the hippity dippity.”

I had no witty come back. No sarcastic reply. No words. My lungs were using all my air to fill every anxiety infused cell in my body.

My gaze scanned the table again, the sick feeling growing. Kim, Theo, and Charlie weren’t among them. Everyone went quiet as they watched me with curious, concerned expressions. Christy and I made eye contact for one second and a look of torture crossed her face. Almost like she knew Tally was gone. But that was impossible.

“Have you seen Kim this morning?” I managed to get out to no one in particular.

“No,” Mom said. “I think they’re sleeping in.”

But I knew better. Charlie was an early riser. That kid could stay up until two in the morning and she would still be the first one awake. Tally complained about it daily.

Maybe Charlie’s sick. Maybe she’s worn out from the wedding. Maybe the blackout blinds in their room fooled her for once.

Stop kidding yourself. They’re gone. All of them.

“Where’s Tally?” Anna asked but I couldn’t respond.

Without a word, tears burning my eyes, I paced into the house. From room to room, I jogged, calling Tally’s name. I bolted into the room they’d stayed in. Empty. Instinctively, I knew to look for Kim’s phone. If it was there, that was my answer. It wasn’t on the bed, not in her suitcase which lay open on the dresser. Charlie and Theo’s sleeping bags were wrinkled and twisted on the floor. I checked their bathroom, searching every drawer.

There was a pile of clean toilet paper lying on the top of the waste basket. My chest heaved once as I stared down at it. Then I reached down and peeled it away.

And there it was.

Kim’s cell.

Staring at me like a black hole, swallowing every hope I had left. I stumbled into the bedroom, silent sobs stealing my air. I lowered myself to the edge of the unmade bed, trying not to hyperventilate.

Christy came flying through the door, tears in her eyes. She looked at me and I knew she knew something . Holden was right behind her, wearing an expression of concern and confusion. Christy lowered herself tentatively onto the bed next to me and took my hand in hers. “I’m so sorry but I think…they’re gone.”

A tear splashed onto my hand, splattering over my wedding band. Then another and another.

Silas, Lemon, Mom, Dad, every adult pushed into the room.

Holden knelt in front of us. “What do you mean, they’re gone? ”

Christy let go of my hand to wipe her eyes. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone.”

She knew where Tally was? I looked up at her, even though she was a blur.

She spoke to Holden like he was the only one there. “Remember how I was the principal of Seddledowne High for a short stint?”

He rubbed her knee. “Yes, babe. I remember.”

She made eye contact with each person for a brief second. “This stays in this room. If you can’t keep a secret you need to step out now .”

“That would be me.” Peyton lifted an unapologetic hand. “It’s the ADHD. My mouth runs like a faucet. Chronic gossiper right here. Closet pre-Christmas gift opener. Do not trust me with anything. I’ll go check on the kids.” She stepped out and closed the door behind her.

The room went silent and Christy began. “When Tally’s records arrived at the high school, they were hand-delivered with strict instructions?—”

“Hand delivered?” Silas looked bewildered.

“Hand delivered,” she repeated. “Because…” Her fingers balled into fists. “The Hawkins are in the Witness Protection Program.”

The room spun, the truth hitting me like a physical blow. Witness protection? How was this real life? How was that possible? My wife—my beautiful Tally—had never truly been mine. Not if she could disappear like a freaking ghost at any moment.

But we’d made a vow. That had been real. Last night was the realest night of my life. There was no way the whispered declarations in the darkness of our shared bed had been a lie. I couldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t.

Had Tally made up her story of pointing to a dot on the map? When she’d told me about how they’d decided to come to Seddledowne, it had felt like fate. Like God had led her to me. Had it been a lie?

“I was the AP and I never knew about this?” Silas said, looking as rocked as me.

Christy’s eyes were full of apology. “I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone .” Her hand was on my shoulder. “But I was sure she’d told you.”

I shook my head, lifted the hem of my shirt, and wiped my eyes.

Anna dropped to her knees in front of me. “If she didn’t tell you, then she couldn’t. Maybe she wasn’t allowed to.” I could see the pain on her face. Tally hadn’t told her either.

Learning that Tally had left because she had to gave me back some of my air. For the last half hour, running up and down the beach, there was one thought and one thought alone that had plagued me: you made love to your wife and it was so horrible that she ran away afterward.

“Witness protection for rape?” I asked Christy and everyone sucked in a collective gasp. We hadn’t told them that part.

“Rape?” Mom asked, horrified.

“No.” Christy squeezed my hand again, focusing on me. “It’s much bigger than that. Her stepdad was a judge.” I hadn’t known that. Tally had told me nothing about him. Why hadn’t I asked more questions? Because the questions hurt her. “A judge who also happened to be a drug dealer. When Tally told her mom who the father of her baby was, it was the push Kim needed to get them out of there. As soon as they got to Seddledowne, Kim went to the feds for help. It took down the entire cartel, except for her husband and stepson. Turns out that being a crooked judge paid off. Her ex husband is still walking free today. And her stepson went to jail, but only for rape. Hence the need for protection.”

My family was pin-drop quiet .

So the story about Tally closing her eyes and pointing to Seddledowne, the part where God had led her here, was real. Apparently, the feds thought it was a good place for them.

“Did she know that you knew?” I asked Christy in a hush. It was the best I could do.

She shook her head. “No, she didn’t. She doesn’t. I wasn’t supposed to talk to anyone about it. Not even them.” She placed a hand against Holden’s cheek. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.”

He smiled at her with so much adoration. “I’m sorry you had to carry that alone.” The fact that they had each other was a rusty scalpel leaving jagged wounds. I had no one and nothing but this hollow void in my chest.

“Wait.” Lemon held up a hand. “How do you know that’s what’s going on here? So yes, witness protection, but what happened that they had to leave now ?” I should’ve been the one to ask the question but I was dazed, still trying to catch up.

Christy’s eyes lifted slowly and I followed her gaze to…Ford. Who looked like he wanted to hide. She offered him a look of compassion. “I know you were only trying to help, but I think you accidentally outed them.”

His eyes moved to me, begging for forgiveness. I knew he cared about Charlie and Theo. He’d loved having them around. But the knowledge that he’d done something to chase them all away lit an ember of rage in my chest.

I stood. “What did you do, Ford?”

His hands went to the top of his head. “It was supposed to be a wedding present. Set you on the right path so the two of you could turn your writing into a career. So you could go ahead and buy the house.”

“What did you do?” I yelled—the helplessness of my situation threatening to drown me.

“Son,” Dad warned. It did nothing but make me angrier. Whatever meddling Ford had done had cost me the love of my life and her kids who already felt like they were mine.

Silas stepped forward, angling his phone toward me. His other hand was on my shoulder, keeping me in place. “He meant well. He didn’t know. None of us did.” The screen had an uploaded video of Ford sitting in the “hot seat” at the Nate Midnight Show. Silas pressed play.

Thursday’s Ford grinned like an idiot, oblivious that whatever he was about to do would bomb my marriage with the force of a nuclear blast.

“I want to give a quick shout-out to my brother, Ashton, and his beautiful new wife, Tally,” Ford said, beaming. “They’re tying the knot tomorrow.” His head tipped from side to side, thinking. “Today, since we filmed this yesterday.”

The audience erupted in applause as the engagement photo of Tally and me flashed on the screen. My stomach dropped and I jammed my hands into my hair.

“And they've got this amazing romance spy series on Incognito,” Ford continued, winking at the camera. “ Spy vs. Sigh . The current book they’re working on—book two—is called Licensed to Swoon . I don’t even like reading and it’s got me hooked. Their handles are Leggolas1012 and Austentacious119. Check it out, folks. Give them a follow. It’s gonna be the next big thing!”

Silas pressed pause on the video.

This explained why my phone had buzzed incessantly for the last half hour. And why my wife of less than twenty-four hours had vanished without a trace.

I took one step toward Ford but Silas grabbed my shoulders.

“What is wrong with you? I told you I didn’t want your help!” I seethed. “Why do you always have to meddle? To use your family as a publicity stunt to make yourself look good?” My nose was running. I didn’t care. “I’m never g- going to see her again. And it’s your fault.” I sobbed. “I hate you.”

“No, son,” Mom said. “Don’t say things you’ll regret. It won’t bring her back.”

“I hate you!” I hissed again but I had no fight left. My legs gave out and I went down, falling against the mattress. Ford pushed through everyone and flung the door open, fleeing the scene.

Mom, Lemon, Anna, and Christy were there, hugging me, patting me, soothing me. Crying with me.

But all I wanted was Tally.

All I wanted was my wife.