Here’s the Thing (Seddledowne #4)

Chapter 25 – Ashton

twenty-five

ASHTON

He decided it was human hatred and not divine vengeance that had plunged him into this abyss.

— ALEXANDER DUMAS

Ford: Just landed. The tour was great. Best one yet. The guys didn’t make it easy on me, but I still have my red chip. I’m determined to get gold in twenty two days. GPS says I’ll be home in sixty two minutes. See you there?

I read the text from Ford and smiled. He’d gone through three months of rehab. The very next week, he’d hopped on a plane and went on tour. We hadn’t wanted him to but he had to fulfill his contract. Jeff promised to look after him, and it looked like he’d kept his word. I checked in with Ford every morning to give him some accountability and to hear how things were going.

Me: So glad to hear that. I’m proud of you. I’m still at work but I’ll pack up and head home. We should arrive around the same time. Meet at my place?

Ford: Sounds good. Can’t wait to see you.

Ford: Any word from Tally?

I stared at his message and rubbed my palm against the center of my chest. I breathed through the pain that hadn’t eased a moment in the last five months, six days and twelve hours. He asked me every single day.

Me: No. I don’t think I will. I think this is for good.

Ford: No, man. Don’t think that way. We’re going to find her. We will.

Me: I don’t think she wants to be found.

I’d been thinking it more and more lately. The longer this went on the more the doubts crept into my mind. She hadn’t loved me as much as I loved her. Or, we’d gotten married too quickly and she was happy for a reason to leave. Maybe I hadn’t meant as much to her as I’d thought, because if I had, wouldn’t she have told me about being in Witness Protection? I know I would’ve told her.

There was a knock on my open office door. On instinct, I whirled around in my swivel chair. But it was only Professor Gibson.

She tipped her head to the side and gave me a sad smile. I wondered how long it would take for my colleagues to stop looking at me like that. “Time to go home, Professor Dupree. Holiday break awaits.”

It was exactly why I’d been putting off leaving. The thought of spending Christmas with my family, watching them hug and love on their spouses and kids, was unbearable. I didn’t know how I was going to get through it.

I stood and turned my back to Dr. Gibson so she wouldn’t see me slip off my wedding band and drop it into my pocket. I never wore it at work but I’d thought everyone was gone for the evening.

At first, I’d told my colleagues that Tally was traveling for her job—but they kept asking when she would be back. Wondering when we could all get together and have drinks or go out to dinner. They were so excited we’d gotten married. Eventually I’d told them that we decided it wasn’t going to work out and she’d moved to London for work.

“Heading home now.” I shut down the computer. “I’ll walk you out.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Doctor Gibson was already stepping into the hall.

“Oh, I think my mom would disagree.” I gave her a brief smile. Letting a woman walk to her car in the dark alone? Mom would tan my hide.

We chatted about one of her student’s thesis proposals on the Oxford comma debate on the way to the parking lot. As soon as I was in my truck, I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe. Why did every second have to be such an effort?

Because my wife didn’t ask me to go with her. That’s why. I dropped my head against the steering wheel and focused on breathing.

When I pulled onto the road, a nondescript black sedan pulled out behind me. Twelve miles later, on the winding back road that led to Seddledowne, I slowed, watching it in my side view mirrors. I couldn’t tell much in the dark, but the man had brown hair and was maybe around my age. I kept an eye on him, though I wasn’t sure what I’d do if I was being tailed. Ford kept a gun in the glove box of his truck. As did Dad and Holden. But that wasn’t how I rolled.

A few miles later, I pulled over to get gas and the man kept going. I didn’t relax until the gate closed behind me on Ford’s ranch. I chuckled as I came down into the valley of the little house. Every light was on. Ford’s jeep was in the grass. But Holden’s car was here too. Looked like we were having a mini-welcome home party. Nice. I cut the engine. The door flung open when I reached the top step.

Ford was standing there, grinning, his eyes clear and bright. Not a hint of redness. His smile remained in place but his forehead was crinkled in confusion. “What the Duck Dynasty?”

I fondled my beard, tugging it to a point at the end. “You likey?”

Holden scoffed behind him. “Literally no one likes that on you.”

Ford belly laughed. “It’s terrible.” He glanced over at Holden who’d stepped up beside him. “You hold him down. I’ll find the clippers.”

I laughed and pulled Ford into a tight hug. “Missed you, man.”

He pounded me on the back. “Missed you, too,” he said like we’d always been up in our feelings with each other. “But seriously? What is happening with your face?”

“It’s just hair.” I stepped back and walked into the house, shoving out the ache I felt every time I came home to find my wife not there. It still smelled like Tally. The caramel latte scent was embedded into the drywall, hitting me in the senses every time I walked through the door.

“I got it.” Ford snapped his fingers. “It’s like No-shave November except it was No-Shave No-Ford. But I’m back now. Feel free to head straight to the bathroom and weed-whack the whiskers. ”

“That’s what it’ll take.” Holden chuckled. “An industrial powered weed eater.”

“Ha. Ha.” I set my bag on the floor by the couch and plopped down on the cushions. My muscles ached from constantly being on high alert but I didn’t know how not to be. Every tiny noise made me think Tally might be around the next corner.

Ford collapsed onto the lazy boy across from me, grabbed the side handle, and kicked his feet up.

But Holden stayed standing, his chest rising and falling with too much exaggeration.

I bounced my heel against the cushions. “Sit.”

“Yeah.” He lowered himself next to me but he didn’t sink into the couch. And it was sink-worthy. Tally had picked it out.

Ford sat forward, studying me. “Ash? Like I’m trying to think of something to say. There should be a lot to talk about. I’ve been gone for two months but I can’t focus on anything except the Santa beard. Is there a midnight snack hidden in there for later?”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. My family pestered me about it incessantly. I never answered their questions about why. Mostly, I’d done it because Tally would’ve hated it. Would’ve teased me until I had no choice but to shave it off. Or, possibly, she would’ve done it herself while I was sleeping. It was my metaphorical one finger salute at her for leaving.

Holden, sitting stiffly on the edge of the cushion, released a huge yawn.

I nudged him with my foot. “What are you even doing here? Don’t you like to get up at the butt crack of dawn? It’s way past your bedtime.”

“I came to see Ford. And…” He gave me a brief smile. “I wanted to let you know that the US Marshall contacted me again. ”

I sat up with a jerk. “Did he say where Tally is?” We never would’ve known about the Marshall being in town if Jeff hadn’t caught him snooping around Ford’s property and started to call the cops. When he’d told Jeff he was a US Marshall, Jeff kept him there, and mercifully called Holden instead.

Holden’s jaw clamped. “No. Trust me, I begged, and when he wouldn’t budge, I tried to trip him up, hoping to get him to give up any information.”

Both of my hands rammed into my hair. The despair threatened to eat me alive but I shoved it down. It wouldn’t fix anything. “Well, did he say if she’s okay?”

“He wouldn’t tell me a single thing about how she or the kids are doing.”

Maybe she’d told him not to tell me. My jaw ticked with anger.

“He’s not supposed to contact me at all.” Holden leaned forward. “But he did say that Tally’s rapist still hasn’t made a single parole check in.”

“That piece of shiz is long gone,” Ford said, which was exactly what I’d been thinking. “Living his best life in the jungles of Brazil as a macaw matchmaker or sunbathing in Bora Bora, being paid to test overwater bungalows.”

Holden nodded. “One can only hope…” His brow crooked in an arch. “The agent wanted us to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.”

I snorted. “So, we’re supposed to help him but he won’t tell us anything about Tally?”

Holden scowled, all lawyer. The law and the protection of individuals trumped any emotions. But if it were Christy, it would be a whole different ball game.

I rubbed a hand over my jaw. “I thought someone was following me home tonight. I’m probably being paranoid though. ”

Holden took down the little information I could give him. “If the agent calls back, I’ll tell him.”

“He didn’t give you his number?” Ford asked.

Holden shook his head. “No. And it didn’t come up on the caller ID.” His lips pressed together, clearly holding something back.

“What?” I asked.

He sighed. “I hate to tell you this because I know it got your hopes up last time but…Tally took off again.”

He was right. My hopes shot up. Straight up, like a freaking space shuttle rocket launch. I slammed that mental airlock shut. The last time they’d told us Tally had taken off and to please keep an eye out for her, it had turned out to be nothing. She’d returned “home” a couple of days later. Wherever home was now. The only excuse he gave us was that she said she needed to be alone. The disappointment I felt that she hadn’t come here to see me was embarrassing. Heck, the disappointment I felt that she’d left and hadn’t asked me to come with her tried to chew me up and spit me out on a minute to minute basis.

Holden’s next words were the rap over the knuckles that he gave me weekly. “If Tally is in Witness Protection, there’s a reason, Ash. It’s to keep her safe.”

I stood. “I don’t need the lecture again.” I knew he was right. If she came here and that psycho was watching, it could turn out badly. But it didn’t make me miss her less.

“Hey,” Ford said. “Do you want me to sleep here tonight, in case?”

I shook my head. “Nah. I’m good.”

“Let me change the gate code?” Ford sighed. He’d been asking for months.

“No.” I shook my head. If Tally came home, she needed to be able to actually get onto the ranch.

Ford and Holden just looked at me .

Ford shoved down the foot rest and sat up. “Well, let’s at least hit the shooting range tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” I blew out my breath. “That’ll be good.”

Ford stood and stretched. “Let me put up those indoor cameras we were talking about. Then if anyone comes in the house, they’ll alert Jeff and he’ll send out the cavalry.”

“The cavalry?” I asked. “Who’s that?”

He waved a hand. “The sheriff.”

Holden snorted. “Ash could be dead by the time they got here.”

“True,” Ford agreed. “But Jeff and I will be here in a heartbeat and we’ll alert Dad.” Ford stood and raised a brow at me. “You text me if that psychopath shows up. 666.”

I rubbed my eyes. “I thought that was code for Mom.”

Holden released a sound that was half guffaw, half shock. “Y’all’s code for Mom is 666?”

I held my hands up. “It’s Ford’s code. Not mine.”

Ford made no move to deny it, but pointed a finger at me. “666.”

“No.” I laughed. “What if Mom shows up and I need to let you know? Then you’ll be confused. And you’ll show up, guns blazing. You’ll give Mom a heart attack.”

“Fine.” He huffed. “Text 911 then—if you hear, see, or smell anything suspicious.”

“Smell?” I said. “What would I smell?”

Holden shrugged. “Your house on fire. You never know. People are crazy.”

Ford looked around the room and gave his head a little shake. “Where’s your Christmas tree?”

Holden pursed his lips.

I grunted.

“We’re putting a tree up tomorrow,” Ford said with one nod of his head.

“Yeah, yeah.” I waved him off.

As soon as my brothers were gone for the night, I sat down at my computer. Like a bedtime ritual, I surfed to my Incognito account page and clicked on Tally’s and my message thread. Not a peep.

I checked the timestamp of her last log in. Still July 24th. The day before our wedding. The disappointment hit me square in the chest as it did every night. And like every other night, the disappointment turned to red hot anger. Maybe it was irrational. Maybe she deserved it. I just didn’t understand how she could leave me the way she did.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wedding band. Usually I put it on as soon as I was home, but tonight I stared at it. What was I doing? Pining over this woman all day, every day. She’d left me like it was nothing. Ripped my heart out and never looked back. I’d searched every Reddit thread, hoping to find some kind of coded message from her. She could’ve contacted me somehow. But she hadn’t.

Well, I’d had enough.

I opened the drawer of my desk, dropped the ring inside, and slammed it shut. Then I sauntered to the living room and promptly changed the security code on the alarm keypad. Tomorrow, I’d let Ford change the gate code too.

Back in my bedroom, a blip of light caught my eye through the window, in the woods behind the house. Or so I thought. It was just a reflection from my monitor. Even still, I stood and pulled the blackout blinds down. Then I powered off the computer, crawled into bed, and curled around Tally’s body pillow as if it were her. And promptly stared at my ceiling, wide awake.

Same old. Same old, I thought.

Until I heard someone come quietly through the front door.