High Stakes (A Deal With The Devil)

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Aiden

Arriving in the little town, I drive slowly. I admire the little cottages, lined up evenly on each side of the road. People are chatting in the streets, laughing and smiling. It’s a quaint little place and I see why Bella loves it so much.

I stop the car outside her pretty little cottage, taking a moment to examine its beauty. The garden is overflowing with bright flowers, and I can almost picture Bella out there enjoying the fruits of her labour.

I take a deep breath before getting out the car. It feels good to stretch my legs after such a long journey but as I look around, I notice the neighbours staring at me with curiosity. It’s almost like they can sense I’m a stranger, and I wonder how Bella managed to fit herself in to such a tight community.

I get the gift bags from the back seat. Also retrieving the huge balloon that’s spent the entire journey bobbing up and down and driving me insane.

I head up the garden path, knocking gently on the door in case the baby is sleeping. I’m nervous, and I try to recall a time when I felt like this . . . there isn’t one.

The door swings open, taking me by surprise as I watch Bella’s retreating form. She didn’t even look up to see me.

“Why are you knocking?” she asks. “Thank God you’re here. I need a shower, and I can’t put him down because he screams. I stink of milk and baby sick,” she’s saying as she walks away. I step inside, quickly glancing around outside before gently closing the door and placing my gifts down. I drop the latch, just to avoid any interruptions from whoever she was expecting, and then I follow her. “I am so tired; please tell me you’re staying over tonight.”

I ignore the sting to my heart at the thought of someone else spending the night here with my newborn. I clear my throat, “I was hoping to, if there’s room.” Her head whips round to look at me and I offer a little smile. “It was a long journey. ”

“Aiden,” she whispers, her eyes wide with shock.

“Sorry, I should have announced it was me, but you seemed so harassed . . .” I trail off, my eyes falling to the bundle wrapped in blankets as she gently rocks side to side.

She stops swaying. “What are you doing here?”

I nod at the bundle. “I saw a picture,” I reply. “He has my eyes.”

“Most babies are born with blue eyes,” she mutters.

“I couldn’t stay away, Bella. I’m sorry. I tried,” I tell her, shrugging. “Just, knowing he’s here is different. He’s real now.”

“Yeah, it does hit different seeing him,” she whispers, her lip lifting slightly in a smile. She takes a step closer, then pauses, her expression hesitant. “I can’t stop you seeing him, I wouldn’t because I want what’s best for him. But understand this, you can’t abandon him,” she says, her voice breaking slightly. “If you meet him and you hold him, you can’t then just leave and pretend he’s not here.”

I’m already shaking my head before her sentence is finished. “I wouldn’t ever . . . I won’t. I swear.”

“Because I can’t watch you leave him, Aiden. It would hurt too much. I can’t have you coming and going from his life and making him feel like he’s not enough for you.” A tear slips from her eye and guilt floods me. “So, if I let you meet him properly, you have to promise to be a dad to him.”

“I promise.”

“I know he won’t remember this, but I will, and my heart can’t take anymore crap from you, not when it comes to my son.”

“Our son,” I correct, closing the gap between us.

We both look down at the bundle and a gasp escapes me. He’s asleep, snuggled in against Bella, looking peaceful. “He’s perfect,” I whisper, carefully moving the blanket further from his face. “Absolutely gorgeous.”

“Isn’t he?” she says quietly, “I just . . . I haven’t ever felt anything like it. The love . . . it’s just so overwhelming.” She let’s out a happy sigh and brings her eyes to mine. “Would you like to hold him?” I nod, unable to speak through the emotion that’s currently lodged in my throat. “Have you held a baby before?” she asks and I shake my head, giving a nervous laugh. “Maybe sit down?” she suggests, nodding to the couch.

I lower, getting comfortable. She places the baby in my arms, and I hold my breath, terrified that I might wake him, and he’ll scream, and I’ll have to hand him back. Bella smiles, brushing a hand over his tiny head. “Breathe, Aiden,” she whispers. “He won’t break. ”

“He’s so small,” I remark, staring in wonderment. I raise him slightly, inhaling the mix of baby and Bella. I close my eyes, it’s the best scent in the world.

“Do you want to know his name?”

My eyes open and she’s still smiling. I hadn’t even thought about his name or what she might have chosen so I nod, bracing myself in case I hate it. “Braiden Jake,” she says, another tear slipping down her cheek. “I’ve spelt Braiden to include your name,” she adds, swiping the tear away. “I wanted him to have a piece of you even though he wouldn’t know you.”

I was certain I couldn’t feel any happier in this moment, until those words left her mouth. My own eyes glisten as I stare down at my son. “Braiden Jake,” I repeat, a smile forming, “It’s perfect.” I raise my head, meeting her eye. “After everything I did to you, I didn’t deserve you to be so kind and thoughtful.” Shame washes over me. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

“We both made mistakes,” she says, “We both did things we regret.”

“I don’t even know where to start making it right,” I admit.

She places a hand on my knee, gently squeezing. “Just being here for him is a great start.” She inhales, releasing it slowly, “You have no idea how badly I wanted to call you to tell you about him. I hated that you were missing out on him.”

“I was stupid to ever think I could exist in this world without being in his life.”

“I’m glad you’re here, Aiden.”

“I thought you’d send me packing,” I say with a small laugh, “It’s what I deserved.”

“We’re parents now,” she says, “Whatever we did or whatever happened, is in the past. Our future is all about him. We both have to grow up and be there as parents.”

“Together or apart?” I ask, risking another glance at her.

She runs her lower lip through her teeth, “One step at a time, Aiden. I’m emotional and full of hormones. I can’t trust my judgement right now.”

I give a nod. “I understand.”

“Do you plan on sticking around for a few days?”

“I’ll stay around as long as you need me to,” I say firmly. “I’ll call JP and have him and Raff run things.”

“I’d like . . . I mean, that’s great . . . for Braiden.” She stands, “I can show you his room?”

I nod, holding Braiden towards her to take. She laughs, “You can walk around with him.”

I wince. “I’m terrified I’ll drop him.”

She shakes her head, laughing again, “You won’t.” And she heads out the room .

Bella

I step from the shower and breathe a sigh of relief. The shock is finally starting to wear off that Aiden is here, in my home, holding our son. It took me a good ten minutes to convince him he’d be fine alone with Braiden whilst I took a quick shower.

I rub my hair, a thousand thoughts running through my head while I contemplate where we go from here. I can’t deny I wasn’t pleased when Aiden promised not to leave Braiden. The thought of him playing dad whenever it suits, is far from the life I want for our son. And ideally, I want to be a family. But deep down, I don’t know if I can ever trust him again after everything that’s happened.

When I return to my bedroom, Aiden is sitting on the bed, still clutching Braiden to his chest. He smiles, “He opened his eyes,” he whispers excitedly.

I grin, “Yeah, he tends to do that.”

“But he looked at me and didn’t cry. It’s like he knew.”

I smirk, “Maybe.” It’s at that point Braiden wakes again, this time squawking in that way I’ve come to love. “He’s hungry,” I add, reaching for him.

Aiden reluctantly hands him over. I know how he feels, it’s weird having someone to share him with.

I take a seat in the rocking chair by the window and loosen the top of my towel, uncovering one breast. Braiden roots around, his mouth frantic until he latches on. Aiden watches in amazement. “You’re breast feeding,” he says.

“Apparently, it’s best, but I think that’s a lie to make new mums feel bad. I’ve seen perfectly healthy babies on formula.” I sigh, “But it’s not as bad as I thought it would be and I’m actually quite enjoying it. But don’t tell Grant that.” The words tumble out and I instantly regret them, even though I have nothing to feel bad about, I just don’t want to ruin this moment of truce.

“Grant . . . the doctor?” Aiden asks. I give a nod. “And what’s his . . . role in your life?”

“He’s my friend,” I tell him. “A really good friend, but there’s nothing romantic between us.”

Aiden looks relieved. “Do you want there to be?”

I shake my head, laughing. “No. I thought I did, but as time’s past, I realise he’s almost like a brother to me. Besides,” I add with a shrug, “He’s seen way too much for him to be anything else.”

“What do you mean?”

I smile, “Grant delivered Braiden.” His eyes widen. “I know, shocking, right. I gave birth right on the kitchen floor.”

“Jesus, without pain relief?”

I nod, feeling proud. “He just came right out after a few pushes. ”

“Wow.” Aiden’s smile fades, “I hate I missed it.”

“Trust me, that’s a good thing,” I say, keeping my tone light. “There’s no point dwelling.” I take a breath, then add, “What’s going to happen?”

“With what?”

“This. Contact. Us? Not that there is an us,” I say, flustering over my words. “Sorry, I just can’t think straight. You turning up like this is unexpected.”

“Let’s take a few days to settle,” he suggests. “I don’t have all the answers and like you rightly pointed out, things are still up in the air for you. Let’s just enjoy this, right now.”

“I’m talking about after, Aiden. When this bubble of joy fades away and it’s back to reality. You living in London and us here, how will we arrange contact?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but honestly, Bells, right now whilst I’m still in this bubble, I want to be wherever he is.”

We’re interrupted by a knock on the door. “It’ll be Grant,” I say and Aiden’s smile fades. “Why is the door locked?” I add as an afterthought.

“You’re alone with a newborn, it’s dangerous to leave it open.”

I grin, “We’re not in London anymore, Aiden. Everyone leaves their doors unlocked here. ”

He visibly shudders then stands, “I better go and meet your doctor friend.”

“Be nice,” I warn as he disappears to let Grant in.

I hear Aiden introduce himself, and Grant makes a remark about it being a long time coming. “I’m in here,” I call out, trying to avoid any conflict between the pair.

Grant appears in the doorway with Aiden hot on his heels protesting. Grant ignores him, coming close and gently brushing his hand over Braiden’s silky hair. “How is the wee man?” he asks.

“She’s feeding,” says Aiden, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Bella, you’re feeding.”

I smile, “Grant’s a doctor, and like I said, he’s seen way more than me feed.”

“Well let’s not think about that right now,” says Aiden stiffly.

Grant smirks, taking a few steps back. “I’ll call back tomorrow if you don’t need anything?”

I shake my head. “We’re good, thanks.”

Aiden waits for him to leave before sitting on the bed. “I didn’t like it,” he mutters, and I frown. “Him being here like he knows you better than me.”

“He does,” I say simply. “He’s been here for me, Aiden and I can tell you right now, that isn’t going to change. He brought Braiden into the world so you can either get on with him, or not, but he’s a part of our lives and he’s staying.”

He thinks over my words before giving a nod. “Okay.” He pushes to stand again. “Are you hungry? I’ll make us something.”

I scoff, “You’ll make us food?”

“Hey,” he says, faking hurt, “I can cook. I just choose not to.”

“Well, luckily for you, there’s at least six meals in the fridge just waiting to be eaten.”

He frowns, “You were prepared.”

“Not at all. But I have fantastic neighbours that keep cooking for me.”